Chapter 8
Eight
It had rained the evening before, but I was determined to take my morning walk, as the sun was peeking out from behind the clouds, and the grass and flowers were sure to be sparkling with water droplets.
Spring was so lovely for my first year at Lowndesbury House, with the blooming daffodils and freesia, wood violets and hyacinths. The weather was not the best, with frequent rains and blustery days, yet it was rare that I missed my walk, for I always felt a bit forlorn when I couldn’t take a walk.
I pulled my shawl more tightly around my shoulders, as the air was damp and there was a cool breeze that seemed to cut right through my skirts, but I fully expected to see Lord Brookhaven.
I wasn’t inclined to think overmuch about why Lord Brookhaven talked with me so often; I just wanted to enjoy it.
We’d become even more familiar with each other, as he frequently smiled, and he even laughed on occasion.
My heart quickened whenever I saw him, and I ruminated, throughout my days of teaching Annabelle and Samuel, about the many things I would like to tell him.
I also replayed our past conversations, sometimes over and over, as it was such a pleasant way to pass the time.
My talks with Lord Brookhaven were the extent of my friendly conversing with other adults, besides writing my letters to Hattie and Susan and anyone else from school who wrote me back.
No one else at Lowndesbury House ever spoke more than a word or two to me.
I couldn’t really be angry with them. They weren’t used to governesses staying long, and I honestly understood their resentment of me.
The scullery maids, rising before dawn and doing all of the most laborious work, collapsed into bed as soon as they were finished with their work, which was always after the sun went down.
Even though I was sometimes lonely, I couldn’t complain, as I was allowed to freely roam the house and borrow any book I wished from the large library.
And although Annabelle and Samuel were doing well academically, for they were fast learners, they were not the easiest students to teach sometimes.
They were understandably reluctant to obey me and allow me to get close to them.
Samuel especially had said some things about not expecting me to stay at Lowndesbury House for long.
Therefore, I aimed to be patient, as I knew what it was like to not be able to trust that someone would stay in one’s life forever.
As a student at Mrs. Southey’s School for Young Ladies, I’d seen more teachers come and go than I could probably recall in one sitting.
But even more so, I’d seen students come and go, sometimes staying for only a month or two.
The school was my entire world, especially as a young child, and the loss of a fellow student and friend was painful.
And yet I continued to befriend the new students who came to board at the school.
Most had families that they would return to after a short time.
Only the ones who had no family at all, like Hattie, Susan, and me, stayed long-term.
Rebecca Mead once said to me, “I pity you, living year after year with such unvaried society at the school. You must have seen no more than thirty or forty people your entire life.” She’d sneered, and her sister laughed. George Mead had merely stared at me in that predatory way of his.
I shuddered at the memory.
I was walking up the lane toward the house when a carriage came rattling up behind me. Lord Brookhaven rarely had guests. Perhaps it was his solicitor, whom I’d learned was married and thus marked him off my list.
I stepped off the lane and waited for the carriage to pass. But I heard a female voice say, “Stop! Stop the carriage!” Then a woman stuck her head out the window. “Miss Robbins? Is that you?”
“Yes, it is.”
It was the young lady whose carriage had overturned the day after I arrived.
“It is I, Millicent Skidmore!” The carriage stopped, and she threw the door open. “The last time you saw me I was bleeding and had just been in that terrible accident. Come inside. We will take you to Lowndesbury House. We’re on our way there now.”
Mr. Skidmore extended his hand and pulled me in, then he shut the door and the carriage jolted forward.
“How lovely to see you, Miss Robbins. I told everyone about how calm Lord Brookhaven’s governess was after the carriage overturned, how hysterical I was, and how you wrapped my hand and sat with me.”
I smiled. “I trust you were able to have a good visit to the seaside after the shock of the accident?”
“Oh yes, I always enjoy the seaside. It is my favorite place in the world. I can never get too much of it—the sea air and the sound of the waves. But once we returned home, we were very happy to get Lord Brookhaven’s invitation to join him for a house party.
Do you know who the other guests will be? ”
“I don’t, only that it will be a small party. Oh yes, his aunt, Lady Derringer, will be here. She has just arrived.”
Miss Skidmore’s eyes brightened, and she glanced at her father. “I so enjoy a good party.”
Her father did not smile, but he seemed agreeable to the prospect.
“I wonder if I will know anyone besides Lord Brookhaven. And you’re sure you don’t know who any of the guests will be, besides his aunt?”
“I do know one other guest.” I allowed myself a smile as I watched their reactions. “I will be attending. Lord Brookhaven insisted on it.”
“Oh.” Millicent’s eyes went wide. “That is so generous of him! And fortunate for me, for I will know someone.”
Mr. Skidmore’s brows shot up, but he made no comment.
“Lord Brookhaven must think very highly of you. But of course he does. You are a very genteel, pleasant sort of girl.” She smiled as if she had just bestowed a very great compliment on me. At least she wasn’t horrified at the thought of the earl inviting his governess to a house party.
“I believe I shall only be attending in the evenings,” I said, “when I’m done with my duties.
” I trembled inside just thinking about being with all those highborn people, but it wasn’t all nerves.
I would be able to see what these sorts of parties were all about, something I’d always wished for.
I would hear lovely music and no doubt see the most extravagant and beautiful clothes I’d ever seen.
I could satisfy my curiosity about these kinds of wealthy entertainments, and if I was fortunate, I might even be able to use the dancing skills Mrs. Southey’s dancing master had taught me.
“My father is a gentleman, of course,” Millicent went on, “and I am not afraid of being in the company of ladies and gentlemen, but if there are lords and ladies, earls and dukes and viscounts and the like, I shall be so frightened. Oh my.” She glanced again at her father.
“I do believe Lady Derringer is a duchess.”
I wanted to tell her that they were only people, human beings like us, but Millicent probably wouldn’t appreciate such “wisdom” from a governess and might not like me saying “us” as if she and I were on the same level.
Mr. Skidmore’s carriage came to a halt, and we were handed down from the carriage. As I walked away to go around to the back of the house so I could enter near the servants’ stairs, I saw Lord Brookhaven exit the front door to greet his guests.
“Miss Robbins, where are you going?” he called out.
I turned to see them all staring at me from the front steps of the house.
“Sir?”
“Come and see my guests. You know them from a few weeks ago.”
Mr. Skidmore explained that they had given me a ride up the lane.
Millicent, I noticed, looked frightened and said not a word.
“Miss Robbins will be attending the party, won’t you, Miss Robbins?” Lord Brookhaven was eyeing Mr. and Miss Skidmore as he spoke. He seemed to be gauging their reactions.
“Yes, I’m happy I’ll have a friend at the party,” Millicent finally ventured to say. “Ha-have any of the other guests arrived?”
“You are the first, besides my aunt, Lady Derringer, who is to be hostess, but I’m expecting the others later today.”
I saw Millicent’s disappointment that he had not volunteered the names of any of the other guests, so I said, “If I may ask, who are the other guests?”
“Lord and Lady Rutledge and their daughter, Miss Rose Rutledge, as well as the Viscount Markeley, Mr. and Mrs. Allen and their son and daughter, Percy and Priscilla Allen. And tomorrow we can expect Mr. Thomas Merritt.”
Millicent sounded out of breath, her voice barely above a whisper as she said, “It sounds very . . . lovely . . . many lovely guests.”
“Are you acquainted with any of them?” Lord Brookhaven asked Mr. Skidmore.
“No, I don’t believe so.”
“I trust you will all be good friends in no time,” Lord Brookhaven said briskly. “Shall we go inside?”
I caught Millicent’s eye and gave her a smile. Her breath seemed to go out of her, and she smiled back. I felt rather gratified and flattered myself that she was grateful for my being there.
Mrs. Merryweather, who was hovering just behind Lord Brookhaven, stepped forward and said, “I’ll show you to your rooms.”
I silently turned to go back down the front steps.
“Miss Robbins,” Lord Brookhaven called.
“Yes, sir?”
“You will join us for music and dancing tonight in the west drawing room.”
“Yes, sir.”
Three new dresses were laid out on my bed. They were all lovely, and I was so enraptured that they were mine that I could only smile at them and sigh.