Chapter 16 #2
“Very well, I thank you. I’m not accustomed to so many people, but I do like looking at all the beautiful homes, and Hyde Park. I enjoy the park.”
“You don’t find it too crowded?”
“It is a bit more crowded than your beautiful grounds at Lowndesbury House, but I never meet anyone I know, so it is rare I am forced to speak with anyone.”
“Ah, I suppose I ruined your walk, then.”
“No, not at all. It is very good to see you again. We are old friends, are we not?”
Her gaze locked on his. Was it his imagination, or did her voice become a bit breathless?
“Yes, indeed.”
“Perhaps I will take my walk a bit earlier from now on, when fewer people will be out, as I did at Lowndesbury House.”
William liked that idea.
“Although, not tomorrow. I don’t want the children to have to rise too early.”
“Of course. The same time tomorrow should suit them very well.” After a moment’s pause, he said, “I know you have never lived in London before. Is there anything that I might do to help?”
“Thank you. That is very kind. Mrs. Drake has been very helpful, as she has lived here all her life. But I did think perhaps it would be lovely if you accompanied the children and me to the Tower of London, to see the menagerie?”
“That sounds like a pleasant outing. The day after tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
They were approaching his townhouse.
“Well, if there is ever anything you need, please do not hesitate to send word. I am not far from you, as you know. And you may call on me and the children any time.” He felt his face grow warm. He wasn’t accustomed to giving such an eager and open invitation.
“You are very kind . . . and generous.” She gazed up at him in a way that made him tug at his cravat.
Where had all the air gone?
They were nearly to his front door.
“We shall be looking forward to attending the ball next week, Lord Brookhaven,” Mrs. Drake said. “Thank you for your gracious—”
“I shall walk you to your door.”
Mrs. Drake began falling behind. She was breathing heavily, and he realized he’d quickened his pace and was walking too fast for her. Well, it was a good way to keep her from talking.
He slowed a bit, and they soon reached Charlotte’s door.
“Good day, Mrs. Drake, Miss Robbins.”
“Thank you for accompanying us.”
He nodded and turned to leave, just as he thought perhaps Miss Robbins had been lifting her hand to him.
He cursed himself for not taking her hand. He imagined the sensation of kissing her hand, even though the fabric of her glove would separate his lips from her skin. But it was too late now.
Mr. Anthony Welton did indeed call on me the next day.
We’d just arrived home after taking Samuel and Annabelle to the park with Lord Brookhaven.
It had been a lovely outing. Lord Brookhaven had gazed deeply into my eyes, and I’d felt a bit lightheaded, like those women who swoon in novels.
I was both breathless with joy and amused at my foolishness.
He lingered with me at my door, but I didn’t make the mistake again of assuming he might want to kiss my hand, and we parted with a slight bow on both sides.
Mr. Welton was very pleasant and attentive, complimenting me and smiling a lot.
I gathered that his mother and Mrs. Drake were close friends and had been for many years.
If I am honest, I enjoyed his attention.
He made no attempt to disguise his interest in me, which I found refreshing.
I was well aware, however, that I knew nothing of his character.
The next day Mr. Anthony Welton called again while we were away and left his card. I found that I wasn’t bothered by missing him, as Lord Brookhaven and I were taking the children to see the menagerie at the Tower of London.
The children gasped and exclaimed over the animals, asking, “What is that?” and “Does it eat people?” and “Does it live in the jungle or the desert?”
Lord Brookhaven was gentle and patient, answering their many questions and explaining things in a way that was appropriate for seven-year-olds.
“How do you like the menagerie?” Lord Brookhaven asked me when the children were distracted by watching the lions being fed.
“It is fascinating to see the exotic animals, but it also makes me a bit sad to think of them caged like criminals, unable to roam as they were created to do. But the children are learning about them and enjoying them. I actually liked seeing and learning about the Tower of London more.”
He paid quite as much attention to me as Mr. Welton had, but I enjoyed Lord Brookhaven’s attention more, as he was serious when he gazed into my eyes, listening to my every word.
I watched as Samuel and Annabelle would let their older brother take their hand and lead them, the way they respected his instruction, and how they looked up to him. It was obvious they loved him.
Indeed, how could anyone not love him?
But the next day, I was home during calling hours.
“Miss Robbins, you are a breath of fresh air,” Mr. Anthony Welton told me once he arrived.
“And how am I a breath of fresh air?” I knew he was only flirting with me, but I was curious if he would be able to come up with a plausible answer to that.
“You are not like all the other young ladies on the hunt for a husband.”
“No, I suspect I am not. For one thing, at five-and-twenty, I am older than they are. And for another, I don’t need a husband and therefore am not ‘on the hunt,’ as you say.”
“Alas,” he said, grasping at his chest, “you are destined to break my heart, Miss Robbins.”
I only laughed at his dramatics.
He seemed to wrestle with himself over whether to be offended by my laugh, but he ended by smiling and repeating, “You are a breath of fresh air, Miss Robbins.”
But all his flattery made it difficult to take him seriously.
Later that day, just before the evening meal, Mrs. Drake said, “You know, Mr. Welton will inherit a fortune if his oldest brother, who is currently sick with consumption, should be unfortunate enough to die from his illness. And if his second oldest brother drinks himself to death, which seems likely, since he is known for having to be brought home nearly every morning by the constable, so inebriated that he doesn’t know his own name. ”
“Indeed,” I said, “it is unfortunate to have the person who should be your closest friend wait for you to die.”
“I did not say he was waiting for them to die.” Mrs. Drake frowned in that pinched way of hers.
“One cannot be blamed if one shall inherit upon the death of a relative. It is not as if Mr. Welton wants his brothers to die, but it is a fact of life that he shall inherit the family fortune should his brothers pass away.”
“Well, then, let us pray for their good health so Mr. Welton doesn’t lose his brothers.”
Mrs. Drake looked quite angry and excused herself from the room.
Sometimes I think she didn’t like me very much, and perhaps I was a little hard on her, with my forcing her to face the ridiculous aspects of society while she had little choice but to be polite to me.
Still, I had no intention of becoming Mr. Welton’s consolation prize.
I was well aware that my fifty thousand pounds would go directly into my husband’s pocket if I should ever marry. Mrs. Drake had told me of other men who had asked to be introduced to me, and some approached her right in front of me, hoping for an introduction.
I had to admit, there was a part of me that enjoyed this.
It was a heady feeling, being sought after by gentlemen of good names from old families.
But I did not trust that any of them cared for me.
When they looked at me, they surely saw fifty thousand pounds, not my character, intelligence, or personality.
I made the mistake of saying so to Mrs. Drake one evening.
“Miss Robbins, how can you talk so?” She looked truly shocked.
“It is every woman’s duty to marry and have children, if they can.
And it is only wise to marry where there is security on both sides.
You would not marry foolishly, marrying a man with no name and no fortune.
Or who has no career in the military or the church, which would make him unable to provide for you and your children.
And a gentleman must also marry where there is the most benefit to himself.
Otherwise there will be sorrow that no amount of love can assuage. ”
“I understand what you are saying, and I agree to some extent, I suppose, but I don’t wish to marry someone who wants me only for what money I can provide.” My fortune was so new to me, why should I be eager to part with it just so a man would marry me—fortune, old name, respected family, or not?
Mrs. Drake sighed forcefully. “That is not the way to think of it. Consider what a man provides that you cannot provide for yourself—children, his good name, the respect afforded to his wife, his protection, a home . . .”
“I already have a home and a good name, and I have servants to respect me and offer protection.” It was probably cruel of me to take pleasure in teasing Mrs. Drake so. But I was speaking the truth, even though I knew it was contrary to what Mrs. Drake believed.
“Miss Robbins, you are not seriously . . . I have not been speaking of that kind of . . .” She huffed out another forceful sigh.
“Forgive me, Mrs. Drake, but just as you wish for me to be wise in how I conduct myself, I also wish to be wise. I want to be loved for who I am, not for my fifty thousand pounds, and therefore I’d like to take careful stock and not marry the first man who shows an interest.” I was quick to add, “Not that anyone has asked me to marry him.”
“Perhaps not, but you will get your first marriage proposal soon enough.” She smiled as though a marriage proposal was all my heart desired.
Indeed, I did wish to be married, but not for the reasons she’d recited. I wished to marry for love—the kind of love I’d dreamed about since I was a little girl—and the love of children and a family. None of those other things seemed worth the risks.