Chapter 91 Dad, You Slut
Dad, You Slut
“Can’t believe I’m the one asking,” Liko said, “but is the door locked?”
“No.”
“Great. Hope you’re not a barge-in family.”
Saskia was coming upstairs now and Dane was frozen like…well, like he was caught in flagrante. Liko grabbed a handful of covers, hauled them over their naked bodies, and rolled off Dane just as knuckles rattled on the door.
“Dad? I’m home. You in there?”
“Hey honey,” Dane called. “Give me a minute, okay?”
“You sleeping?”
“I was. Just getting dressed. I’ll be down in a sec. Can you let Salma out for me?”
“Sure thing.”
Dane threw an arm across his face and counted footsteps down the stairs. “Fuck my life.”
“Want me to hide?” Liko asked. “I won’t be offended. Once I had to help a date crawl out the window when Kyle came home early from a sleepover.”
“You and your fuck buddies.”
“It was a date,” Liko said huffily. “Do you want me disappear?”
“No,” Dane said. “No, Saskia asked me to wait at least a year before I dated. It’s been two and change.
” He flipped the covers back and sat up, exhaling his frustration and ignoring his pouting erection.
“All right, let’s just do this.” He looked back.
“I mean, only if you want to. If you’d rather hide… ?”
“Fuck it.” Liko got up. “I’m still drunk. Let’s have some fun. Where are my clothes?”
“I might have thrown them in the bathtub.”
He strode off and Dane looked longingly after, mumbling, “Shit.”
“You want to go down first?” Liko called. “Give a little backstory, make sure my reputation precedes me?”
“No,” Dane said sourly. Then, “Yeah. Actually, yeah, I’ll go down first.”
“Good, because my clothes are soaked.”
Dane pulled on his clothes and pushed his hair back into place.
He tried a casual expression in the mirror.
Fat chance. His lips were puffy and his face was red from Liko’s beard.
No hiding he’d been vigorously kissed recently.
He ran a cold washcloth and pressed it to his cheeks and chin, hoping it would take some of the rawness out. If not, to hell with it.
“Let’s go, Green Man,” he said.
Liko followed in a towel, holding the bundle of his wet clothes. “This is like a Blake Edwards movie.”
“You’re having way too much fun.”
Dane opened the door and looked up and down the landing. Liko slid a hand down the waistband of Dane’s sweats and grabbed his ass. “Damn, you’re going into this situation commando?”
“Jesus,” Dane hissed, but leaning back into Liko’s palm at the same time, wanting nothing more than to close and lock the bedroom door.
“Sorry, I’ll behave,” Liko said. “All clear?”
With an exchanged glance and a nod, they were off, Liko timing his sneaky footsteps down the hall with Dane’s loud ones down the stairs.
“Saskia Mary Ruta Hasen-Strong von Schoenfeld,” he said, striding into the kitchen. “As I live and breathe.”
“Deddy,” she said, throwing arms around him. “Who’s the grandest Deddy of the Danelaw Deddies?”
“I am.”
She kissed his cheeks and fussed with his hair. “You’re all tousled.”
“I was napping.”
“Sorry I woke you up.”
“No worries. It was just a surprise.”
“I know. I pinged but you didn’t answer. I guess you slept through it.”
“Right.” Dane drew out a chair and sat down.
“I’m so hungry.” She opened the fridge. “What’s going on in here?”
“Pasta with onions and peas. Other assorted veggies. And there’s burrata.”
“Ooh. Perfect.” She emerged with a stack of Tupperware and kicked the door shut. “So what’s new?”
“Well…”
“Is the Pub doing open mic tonight or is it too rainy?”
“Probably too rainy. Hey, listen—”
“Oh, I saw Margy Kulleseid when I got gas in town. She says hi.”
“Sask.”
“What?”
“I kind of have a friend here.”
She glanced back, licking her fingers. “Where?”
Dane lifted his gaze to the ceiling, then looked directly at his daughter.
“Oh,” she said. Then she turned all the way around. “Oh. A friend like a…friend?”
Dane blinked back and lowered his chin on a fist.
“Oh my God,” Saskia said. “And I just barged in like… Well, fuck a duck. I’m sorry.”
He turned a hand over in the air. “This is awkward.”
“Oh my God, I’m mortified.” She looked at her half-assembled plate, then at the fridge, then at Dane. “This is so bad. I’ll go.”
“Stop.”
“No, no. I’ll go get a drink at the Pub and come back when you’re both ready. Or if she’s embarrassed and wants to leave. Holy hell.”
“Nobody’s going anywhere,” Dane said. “Fix your plate and sit. He’s going to come down in a minute. You’ll meet. We’ll have a drink and all be mortified together.”
“He?”
“He.”
Saskia crossed her arms. “Dad.”
“I know.”
“Dad.”
Dane pointed a finger. “You said a year. Male or female.”
Her arms unfolded and her palms went up. “I know. This is not Dad, like Dad, how could you? This is…”
“Dad, you slut?”
“Shut up.” She came to hug his head and smack a kiss on his crown. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks.”
“And oh my God, Dad, you slut.”
Dane sucked his teeth and swatted her butt. She camped a little shriek and went back to her food.
“So how long has this friendship been going on?”
“We actually met over a year ago but forgot we met. Then we met again because... It’s kind of complicated. Forget it. The answer is we’ve been friends a few months.”
“A few months and he’s upstairs,” she said, putting her plate in the microwave and hitting some buttons. “Sounds more like an interest than a friend.”
Dane pretended a mysterious stain on the table required all his concentration.
“Dad.” Saskia pulled the word into two sing-song syllables.
“I heard you.”
“Are you pleading the fifth?”
“No.”
“You don’t have to tell me. It’s fine. I respect secrets.”
“He is a friend.” Dane scraped at the mark with his fingernail.
“Well, that’s lovely for you.”
“With benefits.”
“Dad.”
“You asked.”
“I know, but this is bananas.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Tell me about it.”
Dane’s phone pinged a text from Liko. I’m coming down. Stop talking about me and gird your loins.
“All right, he’s coming down. Act casual.”
“I’ll need a G & T for this level of subterfuge.”
“I’m out of gin,” Dane said faintly, thinking of the almost empty bottle upstairs by the bathtub. Thoughts of the bathtub made his face flame. He was still blushing when Liko walked in, fresh and handsome in jeans and a black T-shirt.
“Tempt me with fiber,” he called.
Saskia whirled around. “Oh my God, that’s Cora’s line.”
“I’m Liko and it’s now my line.”
They each took two steps forward and shook hands.
“I’m Saskia. So nice to meet you.”
“And you as well.”
“Are you from around here?”
“Connecticut.”
“That explains your accent.”
They both laughed. Dane could practically see a little bubble of instant rapport forming around them, and his whole stomach and chest collapsed in relief.
“Have you guys eaten?” Saskia said.
“We tarted up our happy hour with some potato chips,” Liko said, pulling out a chair. “Hardly a balanced meal.”
Saskia opened the fridge again and took out more Tupperware. “How about cold potluck. I’ll just throw it all on the table.”
“There’s a loaf of ciabatta in the bread box,” Dane said, still feeling a little dazed.
“You have any wine? Oh wait, here’s some chardonnay. Liko, can you get glasses? The credenza over there. Left-hand side.”
Liko knew damn well where the wineglasses were kept, but he made a show of finding his way and opening a wrong cabinet. When his back was turned, Saskia shot Dane a wide-eyed look and mouthed, He’s gorgeous.
Dane crossed his eyes and mouthed back, I know.
You slut.
You’re grounded.
“Done talking about me?” Liko said.
“We’re done,” Saskia said. “You pass inspection. You can come back.”
They had a lovely little feast, and Saskia produced surprise dessert from the freezer.
“What would you do for a Klondike bar?” she asked, breaking open the seal and passing them out.
“Oh my God, they come in dark chocolate?” Liko said, grabbing.
“I do unspeakable things for these,” Dane said, pawing for one but Saskia held it out of reach. “Gimme.”
“Go get Ethan’s postcards,” Saskia said.
“Now?”
“Now.”
“We’re having a nice supper and you’re going to put my ex on the table?”
“Yes. Go get them and go slow so Liko and I can talk about you.”
Liko went on eating his ice cream, dancing in his seat a little, expression innocent.
“You’re both grounded,” Dane mumbled, pushing back. “I do this under duress. The record needs to reflect my protest.”
He took his time getting the cards from the file drawer in John’s old study. Liko’s laptop, notebooks and papers were on the desk, and one of his flannel shirts draped over the back of the chair. Dane paused to put his nose to it and inhale the scent of the Green Man.
Only you can write the laws that keep your peace.
Back in the kitchen, he arranged the cards in rows on the table, then polished off a Klondike bar while Saskia looked them over, ending with the last roof boss of St. Mary the Virgin church in Cheriton Bishop.
“Three more locations in Devon,” Dane said. “Then he goes back to the continent.”
“He asked if I’d meet him in Paderborn the first week of December,” Saskia said. “To mark the end of the pilgrimage.”
“All right.”
“And he asked if you’d come too.”
Dane was so calm, he wondered if he’d been expecting this. “I see.”
Saskia sat down. “I’m going no matter what. Will you think about coming? Not for him or me. For Mammu.”
“I know,” Dane said. He looked at Liko, who was elegantly licking the chocolate off his fingers.
He looked back at Dane and in the light of the kitchen lamps, he sparkled white, silver, black and purple.
He was dazzling, yet so quiet and unobtrusive.
Attending to Dane like a hare to a pagan god.
He smiled, and the smile could only have been saying, I will go to war for your peace.
“Will you think about it?” Saskia said.