Chapter 12 Sadie
If Caden could see me now, trampling through the wilderness with this planet-sized backpack strapped to my shoulders, I think he’d fall over from shock.
He truly didn’t think I had it in me to break out of my comfort zone, didn’t think I’d ever put myself in a position where I might not excel at something right off the bat.
This is anything but comfortable.
My body hurts; my feet, my legs, my butt, my back, my shoulders.
I’ve also had another headache today, despite popping an Advil and trying my best to stay hydrated.
I’m itchy, and sweaty, and despite my trifecta of weapons meant to combat the natural elements—dry shampoo, deodorant, Viktor the trees, too, feel similar, tall evergreens that rim the jagged lakeline in scattered thickets.
A row of brightly colored kayaks sits near the edge of the lake, their yellows and reds and ceruleans at striking odds with the natural landscape.
“Wow,” I breathe.
Only when Thorn responds—a low, quiet hum of agreement—do I realize the back of the pack has closed the gap between us. Our entire group gathers at the top of the hill to take in the view.
“Congratulations, everyone!” Thorn says. “That was not an easy climb. But the good news is, we’ve got a couple of days to rest and recover. We’ll be spending the next two nights here, so let’s go over some ground rules.”
We can make campfires at our base camp, but not at any higher altitudes due to park rules.
Our tents should be set up in groups of two or three in the designated spots, and—for our own safety—reasonably close together.
Don’t go exploring alone, don’t go exploring too far, never leave base camp without telling Thorn or Matteo exactly what the plans are.
We’ll do a few group activities each day, including kayaking for anyone who wants to participate. We’ll have meals together at noon and in the evenings; we’re on our own for breakfast. In just a little while, after we set up camp, we’ll have a group activity: fishing, followed by a cookout.
“Thorn?” Zoe interjects, startling all of us.
He raises his eyebrows as if to say go on.
She glances nervously around the group, her gaze skipping quickly past Joshua’s. “If anyone wants to do sunrise yoga, I’m a certified instructor. Meet me down by the lake tomorrow morning if you want to try it.”
“Oh!” Thorn says, pleasantly surprised—and probably relieved—that she sounds enthusiastic about something. “Sure, yes. Great idea. Thank you, Zoe.”
We head down into the valley to set up camp.
The descent is pure relief—the climb was subtle, but now that we’re on our way down again, my pack feels lighter and less cumbersome.
“So, what’s the sleeping plan for tonight?” I ask.
Thorn and I walk side by side, the first time since this morning we’ve been close enough to talk.
“This one’s for you,” he says, tilting his head backward toward the tent strapped to his pack.
The extra tent strapped to his pack, I now realize.
“Did that just magically fall out of the sky when I wasn’t looking?” I ask incredulously. “Did I miss an REI somewhere back there?”
Thorn laughs. “It’s Emma’s. She’s going to share with Brittany.”
“She doesn’t mind?” I ask. “You’re sure?” At five foot eleven, Emma’s the tallest of their trio—she’s Japanese Hawaiian and played beach volleyball before switching over to tennis.
He shrugs. “Said they’ve been up chatting until two in the morning anyway, and that it might actually be easier this way so they can just crash where they are.”
“Well…okay, then. That’s nice.” I cut a glance at him. “Thanks for carrying it for me.”
“If this one rips apart in the middle of the night, you’re on your own,” he says.
I think he’s joking—but my cheeks flood with heat.
It could have happened to anyone, I remind myself. If they wanted the tents to hold up under high winds, they should’ve made them out of, like, thick canvas or something.
Unlike our first two campsites, the landscape isn’t conducive to all of us staking our tents in a circle—there are a lot of rocks around here, and a lot of trees, so most of the clearings are only spacious enough to handle two tents, maybe three.
Brittany, Emma, and Parker call dibs on the clearing closest to the kayaks; Trey, Hunter, and Silas take the clearing that’s big enough to fit three tents; Matteo sets up next to Joshua and Zoe without even asking Thorn for his preference.
Which leaves Thorn with me on the far end, in the smallest clearing.
My heartbeat picks up.
What if I have another dream? What if I have another dream with him right there, separated by only a little bit of nylon fabric? It’s such a tight space that our tents will probably be touching. Will he feel it if I shift in my sleeping bag? Will he hear me if I talk—or worse—in my sleep?
“Looks like it’s you and me,” he says now, his deep voice pulling me out of my head.
I look up from my pack, where I’ve been digging around for my disposable camera and my phone. So far, I’ve only found the camera.
“Yeah,” I say, standing so he’s not towering over me. “Looks like it.”
I can’t quite tell how he feels—is he okay with this arrangement? Or does he wish Matteo hadn’t made the choice for him when he staked his claim near Joshua and Zoe? He seems weighed down, and not just by the extra tent he’s been carrying.
“Everything okay?” I ask, feeling him out. “I promise not to wake you up in the morning. I’ll whisper if I record a vlog!”
He glances up at me, the corner of his mouth lifting just a little. “No, yeah. I’m good. Just a lot on my mind today.”
Good seems like a stretch.
He turns to look out at the lake. “Don’t tell the others,” he says quietly, “but we scored the best clearing. This is my favorite view by far.”
“I can’t imagine any view here being bad,” I say.
His fingers land lightly on my shoulder, the slightest tug urging me to shift over so I can see past the gigantic tree at the edge of our clearing. “See how the mountains frame the lake?”
I move closer, so close the dark hair on his arms tickles my skin. It’s the barest hint of contact, but it feels electric.
Once the tree isn’t blocking my view anymore, I see exactly what he means. “It’s amazing,” I say, taking it all in.
Even as I say it, I’m not sure whether I’m talking about the mountains and the light sparkling on the water and the wildflowers and the majesty of it all, pure and breathtaking…or him.
I raise my little Kodak camera up and snap a photo. It won’t capture everything about this moment, but when I look back on it, I’ll remember how Thorn was beside me, just out of frame.
“Want me to take one with you in it?” he offers.
I laugh. “Not sure I want to ruin the natural beauty with…all of this.” I gesture down the length of my sweaty, tired body. “I’m sure I look awful.”
“You don’t.”
His two simple words stop me right in my self-deprecating tracks.
My gaze finds his. A bird sings from somewhere off in the distance like we’re in some kind of rugged, adventurous fairy tale.
“You don’t look awful,” he says, as if he’s afraid I might have misunderstood the first time around.
I bite back a smile, feel my cheeks heating up.
He holds out his hand for my camera and I give it over.
An hour later, we’re all set up down at the lake. There are just enough fishing poles for everyone—they stay here year-round, like the kayaks—and Thorn is about to give a much-needed demonstration. He clears his throat, waiting for Brittany and Emma to stop whispering with each other.
“Has anyone here been fishing before?” he calls out once they’re quiet.
Every single guy in the group raises their hands, and so do Parker and Emma. Technically, I could raise mine, too—I went fishing on my grandparents’ ranch a number of times—but not since I was in single digits. I’m not confident those skills have stuck around to adulthood.
Matteo passes out poles. Everyone who already knows what to do scatters around the lake, while Zoe and Brittany and I gather at Thorn’s side.
“You’re going to want to load the bait like this,” he says, reaching into the small Styrofoam cup he brought with him.
I don’t know what we’re all expecting—some brightly colored lure, maybe?—but it definitely isn’t the squirming worm he produces.
“What is that?!” Brittany shrieks, at the same time Zoe turns her head away, saying, “Nope, nope. I’m good. I don’t need to touch that.”