Chapter Fifteen
Varis
“So, does it— Does it hurt?” Varis settled himself in a seat in the observatory they’d only recently finished in Ghreid’s estate. The light, at that time of day, had been turned off, ships navigating by sun.
“The knot, I suppose, at first.” Asha tugged at his vivid hair anxiously, the flamelike hues of it so pretty in the morning light coming over the ocean.
“I think we speak of different things, my prince.” Varis cleared his throat and sat up straighter. “I wish to know of the change.”
“Oh!” Asha’s cheeks turned such a vivid pink into a rosy red, that Varis laughed. “That part. Yes. At first it had a—honestly…”
Asha twisted his lips and gestured, obviously uncomfortable at his earlier admission. “So, my change was very abrupt. I got a little too stimulated, a little too much moonlight, and I was flying on Heckle—my mate’s wyvern.”
“Terrifies me, but it’s wonderful at the same time.” Varis rubbed at his cheek and sighed.
“Oh, I was a little uneasy at first, but the moment we dropped off that mountainside, it was like my wings within me were free. I felt like I could fly.” Asha chewed on a knuckle for a moment before leaning forward conspiratorially.
“It was like being drunk and shedding my skin at the same time. But I’ll be honest, the weeks leading on to my change were like living in a giant scab, and that was just the point where it peeled off. ”
Varis shuddered at the analogy. “I could have done without that, but you are certain it is apt?”
Asha’s face flamed pink as he cleared his throat. “How… How brash do you wish for this conversation to get?”
“I will not ask for details you do not wish to give.” Varis leaned forward conspiratorially and waited.
“When you shift into your superior form for the first time—please do yourself a favor and couple.” Asha cleared his throat and whispered, “Two.”
“Two?” Varis blinked innocently.
“Erm… Their superior form… They have two.”
“They can go twice?” Varis avoided laughing, because even in the form Varis had seen, Ghreid was good to come off more than twice.
“No. They have two.” Asha pointed at his lap.
“And the arrival? I thought I’d died. My mind whites out and…
It’s amazing. I was always meant to be this thing.
It’s an ache in my very soul when I cannot show my scales.
And the dragon in my heart, my very soul grows feral when I cannot show my scales for too long, when I cannot enter my superior form. ”
“So you are saying I will still be me?” Varis reached out and took Asha’s hand and stared into his eyes.
“You won’t look the same. That body. That thing you are now, sort of sloughs off and you are born anew, but the mind is the same.
Maybe a little bolder, but how much of that was freedom and how much was the dragon, is up to interpretation.
” Asha cleared his throat. “We’re very amorous creatures, ashen. Dragons.”
“Oh. You get hornier?” Varis stifled a laugh as Asha’s flush reignited.
“If that’s the way you wish to word it, then yes. I have always loved flowers, and I don’t know if meeting Rath made me accept it or if it is the dragon in me demanding it. But I grow weary if I do not seek him frequently. The wait after I laid my eggs, to heal, was torturous.”
“And how was that?” That was something Varis had never asked before.
“A few months of being fat, a few hours of discomfort, followed by a few torturous days of healing and then some of the laziest, best coupling you can imagine. Something about brooding makes a dragon very amorous.” Asha cleared his throat.
Varis nodded sagely. “So. Any tips?”
“The sooner you take your dragon, wed your mate, and surrender to it, the better. I made Rath give me an oath not to have sex before we were wed, and I regret nothing more. Fates’ sake, I hated the wait.”
“Were you this impatient before?” Varis raised a brow.
“Never. This, 100 percent is the dragon.” Asha laughed and leaned back in his chair.
“I’m no good at being…open…about this sort of thing.
Lyss, my fr—maidser—” Asha puzzled for a moment.
“My companion and dearest aide, who has been with me since we were little ones. She says that I’m the same Asha, different pants.
She also makes comments on my love life, but she’s never been one to mince words.
Especially not when regaling me of tales of her exploits. ”
He shuddered.
“She engage a lot of men?” Varis glanced out at the turgid sea.
“Women. Woman… She was taken advantage of by men and found herself a partner in another woman. The things those two get up to.” Asha pursed his lips. “Not that I really comprehend. I’ve never even seen a woman’s genitals before. Not up close, at any rate.”
The sour look on his face faded quickly. “At any rate, if she or Jeron might be better suited to teach you… Jeron was my mate’s bedservant.”
“That is right… Rydel was a bedservant at one point! I should speak with—” Varis halted at Asha’s sour expression.
“Ask Jeron. Rydel is…professional.” Asha bit his lower lip. and Varis could practically hear the uptight in the silence between words.
“Is Jeron with you on this trip? I was aware you had an attendant.” Varis gave Asha a hopeful smile.
“Yes. He’s resting after the long journey. He’ll be leaving tomorrow, though. We’re here for a week and he needs time off. He says he doesn’t, but the poor man needs to visit his family and sleep in for a minute.” Asha sighed heavily.
“That’s the mark of a good man, right there.” Varis gestured toward Asha. “Your help doesn’t want a day off and you have to make them. And you take the initiative to see when they need it. I like that.”
“I was in service to an estate. I understand when a servant says they’re fine to continue, they aren’t always so. There’s the truth and what you tell your masters.” Asha shrugged. “Not that mine ever cared.”
“Were they cruel?” Varis hesitated.
“The circumstances of my birth were such that made me an object of ire to the earl of my estate. I was from my mother’s first husband, who died very shortly after my conception.
I was a reminder that she’d been with another man, so I was raised a bastard.
” Asha stared at the table before looking up.
“But that’s not me. That’s a life I turned my back on and a life I no longer wish to have lived. But you, how was your life?”
“The mark of an ashen is the mark of sacrifice to my people. I was meant to be an offering to Alim.” Varis stared out at the open sea again.
“I come from a land where love between men is acceptable, commonplace even. We take wives to have sons, of course, but we take lovers as we see fit. I had a mother who was mostly disinterested in me, but my father and his paramour raised me quite well. They did love me.”
“It must have been hard to leave.” Asha reached for his hand and held it, a kind gesture and one reserved for intimate partners in Kaliman custom, but Varis tolerated the gesture for what it was.
“It was, but it was that or my life. They will still demand I return. I know it.” Varis gave Asha’s hand a squeeze and drew his back.
“They cannot demand a dragon go back. All dragons are citizens of Sauria and under Rath’s…and my…rule.” The words came out of Asha’s mouth with a hesitant lilt, as if not accustomed to the power.
“That can’t be the only reason I would want to be a dragon. I have Ghreid. I want to be a dragon. I will take the change, but not because I am running away from something, but because I am stepping up to something.” Varis nodded once.
“Of all the dragons it could have been, Ghreid is a good one. He’s sweet, dedicated and—”
“Are any of the brothers bad?” Varis perked up.
“Oh, no. I mean, Falustus is randy as sin and Draenvir is a know-it-all but I adore them.” Asha laughed, his teeth sharpening a little.
Because it seemed the thing to do, Varis pointed to his teeth and at Asha, who covered his mouth and focused to draw them back to normal. “I have to focus a lot, and when I get excited or happy—yeah. The only downside.”
“So, anything else I should be forewarned about?” Varis raised a brow conspiratorially as an attendant jogged up the stairs to leave a few drinks and a snack.
“Full moons.” Asha snorted, biting his lower lip. “Zero control. Just the second you see that big ball in the sky—bam. You’re sporting a cockstand and leaking and crying for it.”
He gushed as if he had nobody to speak with about it and blushed so brightly. “Apologies. I don’t have anyone I can speak about this freely with.”
“Speak freely with me. In Kaliman, sex is nothing to be ashamed of. It is free and easy. You hold compunctions I will never judge you for.” Varis smiled and thought, truly, for a moment, that he was as much help to Asha as vice versa.
“I don’t have much to compare it to, but the arrivals are fiercer.
And when you are carrying a clutch—fates alive!
It gets better. As uncomfortable as some parts are, I will conceive another at Rath’s first inclination just to experience it again.
” Asha fanned himself as his eyes flashed with that flame-addled blue.
“If you wish to take the change while we’re here, we will support you. ”
Varis reached for his plate to take a slice of toasted bread with preserved fruit atop. He took a nibble and pondered. “I’ve somewhat of an inclination toward that. I’ve envied women for a long time for their ability to carry. Fantasized about it.”
Asha cleared his throat. “Never gave it much thought until… I didn’t hate it, either.”
“And what about conception… The likelihood?” Varis leaned over with interest.
“I am to understand that the first few heats you’re very fertile—Galatan was born from their mother and father’s first…
Subsequent couplings are less likely. It took several years before my mate and Slath were born.
” Asha twisted his lips. “One’s the norm, but it appears that clutches run in their family and it’s sire dependent…
I’m inclined to believe, based on polite conversation with the doctor, that it can depend on the virility of the sire.
The more stimulated they can keep their bearer… ”
Varis gestured his hand gently. “I suppose I will need nannies…”
“If you can bear to part. I find being away from my hatchlings for any length of time is trying. They are remarkably well-behaved, as compared to human toddlers. At least I know if a hatchling falls from the top of a bookcase, they’ll survive.
” Asha smirked. “Two is difficult, but worthwhile. They occupy one another.”
“So, no nannies?” Varis leaned on an elbow as Asha took a slice of toast as well. “Does your king not help?”
“I have Jeron and Lyss. They’re more than enough, but they’re backup.
” Asha chuckled and took a sip of water from a glass on the tray brought to them.
“Rath is as much help as he’s capable of, considering his station.
I honestly don’t give him much opportunity.
I’m trying, though. It’s a territorial instinct. ”
Varis nodded gently. “Well. Would you feel better if we retrieved the young from your mate and we let them frolic about the solar? We’ve not put furniture in so there’s nothing to tear up.”
“He instructed me to let him spend time with them. It’s part of the process of getting me less territorial. And it is a process.” Asha took another tentative bite of the toast.
“Then I shan’t press the issue further. So, what is the next step? How do I kick-start this dragon business? I’m anxious.” Varis clapped his hands.
“Moonlight, stimulation, dragony business. Ghreiden will work you through it.” Asha shrugged. “And there’s a wedding?”
“I’m uncertain when.” Varis cleared his throat. “That’s been rather nebulous.”
“Well, all of us are coming in. The rest of the team will be in tomorrow.” Asha smiled. “It’ll be small. Is that okay?”
“Perfectly fine.” Varis nodded once. “I’m uncertain as to what a dragon wedding amounts to.”
Asha grinned widely. “I think we need Rydel for this.”
Varis sighed happily. “I think I’d speak a vow before a seabird at this point just to call him mine.”
Asha glanced out the window, nose wrinkled. “I have opinions on seabirds.”
“As do we all.” Varis stood, and Asha followed, muttering something about getting Jeron if he was rested up.