High Anxiety
The trouble with the nose
From the corner of his eye, Chen watched Simo’s fingers drum on the airplane’s armrest. For the time that Chen had known him, Simo had never displayed such nervousness.
Simo could be as cold and calculating as they come, so this was disconcerting, yet fascinating.
He had come to see Simo as a close family member.
A part of him felt bad for the man, but Simo could not seem to get out of his own way when it came to women.
He knew Lilly Delmore loved Simo desperately, and most men would have killed to have what was available to Simo.
Watching the security footage, he saw how devastated Lilly appeared to be.
Then how peculiar the situation was with Simo believing Jessie was in the club the same night.
Even more peculiar, there was no other footage of the woman with the long red hair except the one brief moment.
Chen smiled to himself. Whatever was ahead with Simo meeting Jessie, at the minimum, it would be interesting.
“Simo?” Chen nodded to Simo’s drumming fingers. “Anxious?”
“What? Maybe…” Simo replied, watching his fingers tap the armrest.
Chen watched Simo absentmindedly rub his nose and felt his own eyebrow rise.
In the past, whenever Simo’s nose itched, everyone paid attention.
It was as if that nose was some kind of early warning system.
In the beginning, Chen had chalked it up to coincidence.
But, over time, coincidence was replaced with attentiveness.
Although, the dry air in the aircraft could be the culprit.
Interesting… Chen decided. “Are you considering passing on the private graduation ceremony?”
“Maybe…”
“I see. Should you decide to pass, we can pay a visit to Club Aurae in New York and visit Eleni, if you would like.”
“Uh… maybe.”
“Want to talk about what is on your mind?”
Simo turned to Chen and didn’t reply for the longest time. “What would you do?”
“Simo, I am practical… too practical, I am told.” Chen smiled.
“How do you mean?”
“I am black and white, cut and dry, to the point, and all of those other wonderful American colloquialisms concerning being practical… when it comes to the opposite sex.”
“So… what would you do if you were in my place?”
Chen laughed. “First off, my friend, I would not be in your place. I mean no disrespect… but to answer your question, if I were in a similar predicament, I would simply call Jessie as soon as I disembarked the aircraft. Then, if the situation were… unsuitable, I would put her out of my mind forever.” Simo let out a heavy sigh.
“I am not you, Simo. I am pragmatic and practical. I don’t suffer or enjoy the passion you possess.
At times, I envy you your passion and joie de vivre, though right now, I do not. ” Chen offered Simo a grin.
“I wish I could put her out of my mind. I might find peace…”
“What is your aversion to developing a relationship with Jessie?”
“I—I… I can’t.”
“Is that why your nose was itching?”
“It was?”
“Yes.” Chen stared at Simo in an attempt to make Simo break the silence.
“I know what you are doing… fine. Too many variables…”
“How so?” Chen saw the flash of distress as Simo ran his hands down his face, then met his eyes. Simo leaned close and began to speak. Before Simo completed his first syllable, Chen knew why. He heard the underlying dread and… fear in Simo’s voice.
“I may have to… kill her someday.”
As usual, Chen kept his face passive. “Go on, my friend.”
“I am still afraid she has been programmed by the Russian GRU through Ivanov. I was told so.”
“Simo… she had to have passed every…”
“She did, with flying colors. The White Box even. That is what bothers me.”
“Who made you agree to this?”
“No one. I offered… I felt she was my responsibility.”
Chen hid his surprise. This was something he himself would offer, not Simo. “Why?”
“If… if it ever came down to it, it should be me.”
Chen knew in his mind that Simo could never do it. “And if you can’t?”
“Then she will kill me. She is a survivor.”
Chen lost his composure and fought to keep his voice down. “Simo! If this is a perverse death wish you are pursuing, I cannot in good conscience let you do this!”
“Chen, it is ok. Maybe it will never happen.”
“And if it ever does?”
“I’m tired, Chen. Tired of owing. Tired of being a pawn in these games. Tired of having the CIA’s hooks in me. I wish I was just a cop back in Greece.” Simo shook his head. “I’m sorry, Chen… I didn’t mean…”
Chen felt a little relief and understood what really was ailing his friend: the condition they all dealt with after intense combat and life-threatening situations.
Simo, in his own way, was trying to protect the people he cared for…
he didn’t want any other woman to be another Marina, Simo’s ex-wife.
“I understand, my friend. What you need is downtime. A very long, quiet vacation is in order.”
“Maybe after all this.”
The fasten seatbelt sign came on, with the captain’s voice informing them of their approach to Ronald Reagan National Airport.