The Showdown #2
“Well, then fucking take a seat, Mr. Petras.” She pointed to the easy chair.
He pointed at it, and she rolled her eyes. “Yes, that fucking chair already!”
He made his way over and waited for her to sit.
“Make yourself comfortable. I need to stand for this shit.”
With a nod, he sat down.
“So, you want to know what killed Anastassia? The fucking GRU poisoned my… my father and mother. My father died quickest and hardest… with polonium so my mother could watch him die as she lingered in pain. The docs claimed she had cancer…” She shook her head.
“It was fucking thallium poisoning. Mike showed me the file. My so-called grandmother they shipped me off to? A fucking lunatic released from an asylum. Over two years in that shit hole while she got worse. Fucking nights were bad. Fucking running around naked with a frying pan, yelling and screaming and throwing doors open. Another betrayal. Then Ilia’s betrayal!
He’d take care of me. Oh ho! But when I slipped and told him I was a virgin, fucking money signs rolled in his eyes.
That fucking doctor verified I was a virgin, that was…
fucking sickening and degrading! Then your betrayal in Athens!
” She mocked him, her head wagging back and forth, “One time only. YOU MADE ME LEAVE YOU!”
Simo swallowed hard and nodded.
“Oh… then in Langley they tried their hardest to break me. I had to use everything my mother and father taught me to just not lose my FUCKING mind! I was in that fucking room for longer than anyone else! Fucking Tom…”
She caught herself and eyed Simo standing there, nodding.
“Oh, then in LA? You left me alone like an outsider in your so-called family! A fucking outsider. We shared a goddamned bullet. I had your fucking back even then! Then! Then get this: I never got invited to Ari’s for dinner! Everyone else did! Why? Simo, why?” she bellowed.
“I… ok, that was my fault. I’m sorry if…”
“NO MORE I’M SORRIES!” She took in a huge breath of oxygen and continued, “You sat there and stared at me! Just this fucking look on your face like you wanted me dead!”
Simo began blinking, trying to think where that happened.
Jessie caught on. “At Xander and Halo’s wedding! Duh?”
“Oh. Can I explain it to you someday?”
“About time you fucking explain yourself!” She laughed.
“I… was trying to—to…”
“WHAT? Trying to what? Shoot me?”
“NO! Ask you to dance! I swear on my mother’s life! I was fucking trying!”
“HA! Trying? You could have just texted me or—or sent fucking Eleni like in middle school! Trying my ass! Ok, so what was stopping you then?”
He looked down at his hands. “Me. I… was getting in my own way.”
“That’s bullshit! I want the truth! I deserve it!” She saw him pale and knew he was on the ropes. She wasn’t prepared for what came out of his mouth.
“I was afraid of you. I’ve… always been afraid of you.”
He made a cross across his chest like she had seen old Greek people do. Her mouth came open, ready to fire off… but she held back and stared at a man who was never afraid of anything tell her he was afraid. Afraid of her.
Her voice quieted. “What did I do to make you afraid of me?”
He shrugged, shook his head at himself, and held up his hand while still looking down. “Nothing. That… that…”
“That what, Simo?” He still wasn’t looking up.
“Next morning. Athens. I… uh, realized I never really loved Marina that way. I mean, like I thought I did.”
“Oh, and now that’s my fault?” She saw him wince.
“No. Not in the way you are thinking.”
She sucked in a breath of oxygen. “Then explain it already!”
“Uh…”
A knock came at the door and they both looked at it. “Food.”
Jessie sighed and began to drop her mask. Simo held up his hand and made his way to the door. The doorman was there with two big bags of food.
“Mr. Simo, Ms. Jessie, your dinner has arrived.”
Simo nodded and slipped the man a twenty, took the bags with his thanks. With the door closing behind him, he gestured to the kitchen.
“Yes. We are not done yet.” She saw him nod as he deposited the food on the glossy white kitchen island top. She noticed he was reluctant to return to his seat, so she pointed at it. With a nod, he sat back down.
“So, why is it my fault? Or is it something else?”
“I… watched you that morning trying to be quiet.”
She interrupted, “Oh, really? Couldn’t wait for me to fucking leave?”
“No! I didn’t want you to leave! I heard the door close and jumped out of bed…”
“Well, then, what stopped you, Simo?”
“Your letter.”
“My letter?” He reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “I still have it.” He held it out to her.
“I KNOW what it says.” She watched him nod and place the letter back into his pocket. “That doesn’t explain why you didn’t come after me…”
“I didn’t want to give you the same life as I did Marina.”
“WHAT?” she gasped.
“Honest.”
“Wait. I’m not fucking Marina! What do you mean?” She saw him hang his head again. She felt like screaming to get her answer, but she made herself wait.
“I know you are nothing like her… and that was the problem. You were so much more. I… I don’t think I really wanted children with her. I think I knew before…”
She interrupted, “Before I got involved and showed you who she really was? Which, by the way, was not what I set out to do. I think in a way I felt flattered at how hard you tried.” She hit her chest with her hand, then watched him nod once and he remained quiet.
“None of this explains why you claim you are afraid of me. You are not afraid of anyone! OH! Am I that much of a bitch… ok, I mean before right now.” She heard him sigh and his head was shaking ever so slightly.
“Simo, you came all this fucking way… what the hell is it?”
“I understand why Xander thought Halo loved him because he saved her.”
“Oh, really? Ok, Mr. Gigas, do fucking tell!”
“He… couldn’t let himself see it. He didn’t believe it was true, like real love from her…”
“Oh, so you’re saying that it’s impossible to think I… I had feelings for you like that?”
“Yes. And no.”
“What in the hell, Simo?”
“Can I finish or should I wait?”
“Fucking make your point already!”
“I made excuses, like he did. You and me only knew each other for a short time. You were young. I didn’t think it was possible… then I used it as a shield when you came to LA.”
Jessie stared at him for a few moments. “Did Xander tell you to say that?”
“No!”
She pointed her finger at him. “Why the date in Athens? Why sleep with me in Athens?” She saw him run his hands down his face, and his face was red when his hands dropped. “What?”
It took him a moment, but his voice came out raw.
“A lot of things were in my head. When we were dancing… I knew what you could do to me. Worse than Marina…. I felt every breath you took, I felt your heart beating fast, I felt your soft hand in mine get hot. Your… your green-green eyes would widen and look soft and glassy at me. You smelled so amazing. I felt you, like deep… inside, like you wanted to swallow me whole. I wanted to fall to my knees at your feet at the feeling! I tried to think about Marina to keep my head straight, to play it cool and safe. You asked me why Athens? I… needed to be with you, and that scared the shit out of me. It felt so right…”
“And you still let me leave…”
His head dropped and he nodded. “I thought I was saving you… from me.”
“No, Simo, you were saving yourself from me. Don’t deny it.”
He nodded again.
The aroma of Greek food wafting through the penthouse reminded her of Athens.
She looked at the bags of food just sitting there.
“I’m hungry.” He looked like a man who had been holding the weight of the world and suddenly let it down.
She wasn’t going to let him off or forgive him yet. But she’d give him a moment’s reprieve.
She grabbed her oxygen tank, squeaked it past him and up to the counter.
“Do the honors again?” She pointed to the glass-faced cabinet holding the plates.
He was up in an instant and dishing out calamari, pastitsio, Greek salad, dolmades, and spanakopita.
Tatianna ordered the whole menu, apparently.
When it came to where to sit, Simo looked like he was trying to calculate the trajectory of a mortar strike.
She pointed to the fridge. “Wine and beer in there.” Then, she pointed at one chair away from her as she placed a delicious piece of calamari, coated with tzatziki, in her mouth.
With a nod, he opened the fridge and held up two beers.
She shook her head. “Meds.” He held up the orange juice carton and she nodded.
He quickly poured her a glass and decided on the beer for himself.
Taking his seat, he pulled his plate over and began on his meal in silence.
When Jessie was done, she turned to him as he had a mouthful of spanakopita.
“So, would you make me make that promise again? Like, here and now?” He began choking and coughing and spraying spinach from his mouth into his hand.
His face red, he shot her a look, knowing she waited for the most opportune moment.
She pushed her glass of orange juice at him.
After a few more coughs and downing the rest of her orange juice, he caught his breath.
“Water?” she asked, getting up. He shook his head and cleared his throat loudly.
“Do you really want my answer?” he managed.
“Sure.”
“No.”
She stared at his face looking back at her. He was calm now, but there was something in his dark eyes. Almost like he was waiting for her to twist the knife her question left inside him. “I wonder if Lilly was right about you…”
His eyes closed and he sighed as if he knew this was coming. “I like her. I see why you… liked her.”
He opened his mouth to speak and then shut it.
“No, go ahead.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Oh, so you didn’t like Lilly and just used her?”
“NO!”
“Then what, Simo?”