Chapter 15 Prague #3
“It is working,” Felix said softly. “We just—we’ve become very cognizant, I guess, of all the ways this could go wrong in the past month. And then, while we were grappling with that….” He nodded his chin at Josh. “You exhausted yet?”
Liam gave him a level look. “I can sleep, sir,” he said evenly, as his arms tightened ever so slightly around Josh’s chest.
“Good.” Felix bent to kiss Josh’s forehead and then, unexpectedly, to ruffle Liam’s hair, sending his curls into what was probably a stunning disarray. “You’re good children, both of you.”
Liam opened his mouth to say, at best, Felix was an older brother, but he found he couldn’t.
At his feet opened the terrible yawning pit of heartache where his father used to be, and that twin vine wrapped around his heart.
What a good, sweet man vied with what a terrible selfish git, and for a heart-stopping, breathless moment, he couldn’t figure out which should win.
Felix must have taken in his expression because he reached up to ruffle Liam’s hair again, and this time, his hand stayed, tenderly, like family’s.
“Good and bad,” he said softly. “We love people for their good and their bad. It’s a stunning realization that a human can hold our hearts so thoroughly, isn’t it?
” His mouth—full, expressive, with none of the tight wrinkles that accompanied a smoker’s mouth or the flat lips of someone who never smiled—turned down at the corners again, and he sat back in his seat, although Liam could still feel those soft fingers in his hair.
“The day after Danny left, I… I sat and cried. Went into our little cottage and realized he’d packed up everything that mattered and left everything that didn’t.
” Felix swallowed hard. “And I realized—our final fight. He’d goaded me.
Pushed me into telling him to get out. Because the situation was killing him.
” He shook his head. “I cannot live through a moment like that again.” A deep breath.
“And some people may wonder why all of us are so willing to go through this for a man who cheerfully admits his worst, deepest flaws at the drop of a hat and doesn’t spare himself when he does it. ”
Liam thought of his father, boozy and a little tearful, telling Liam that he was sorry they were poor, but Liam was a good little man who would help his mum when Liam’s father couldn’t.
Liam missed him so badly, booze and all.
His father had known that Liam was gay—known, and loved him with no change except to teach him to punch.
Liam had been able to walk into the schoolroom or the world with confidence then.
No reason to punch when you walked like nobody’s meat.
But he remembered those moments, some of them unclouded by drink, when his father told his children, told Liam, that he loved them.
Those moments were everything.
With aching clarity, he saw how this family would rise in defense of their strongest—and weakest—member.
Like peering through a window into his own heart, he saw how much it meant to him to be part of this quest, this thing he’d started by being a substandard Interpol agent but a decent human being.
“I don’t wonder,” he said gruffly, leaning his cheek against Josh’s hair. Soft and thick, it needed a trim, because it was starting to curl against his collar and Josh liked it short.
Here, holding the man he seemed to be destined to love, Liam knew exactly why Josh couldn’t sleep without knowing Liam would protect his family. Liam had spent much of his young-adult life protecting his own family. He knew exactly how Josh felt.
THE NEXT morning, Josh’s room was… well, crowded.
Josh was sitting up in bed, bathed and dressed and tired and pale—and satisfyingly grumpy. He glanced from parent to parent… to parent to parent and shook his head in irritation. But he didn’t let go of Liam’s hand, and he endured Grace’s semipermanent cuddle practically in his lap.
And was fully aware of the fifty-dozen people (slightly less than a buzzenteen, he’d told Liam, holding on to his humor by his fingertips) standing out in the hallway.
“But Mom,” he’d protested, “what if… what if….” His voice dropped. “What if it’s bad news?”
“Then we’ll tell them all so they can cry together,” she said softly. “Besides. What if it’s bad news? What should we do then?”
He’d leaned against Liam a little harder. “Same thing we’re doing now,” he said softly. “We’re all in Europe. I-I mean, I didn’t stop doing this when I was sick last year. I kept on until I couldn’t, and then I kept on when I could.”
She nodded, her eyes shiny. “And that’s what we’ll do this time,” she whispered. “But this time….”
And her eyes had flitted none-too-subtly toward Liam.
Josh had glanced at him, seeing his tightened jaw, his expectation to be hurt again, and couldn’t do it.
“This time Liam’s in for the haul,” he said, not breaking contact with those dark blue eyes. God, he couldn’t send him away again. Should never have sent him away, no matter how hard the emotions were.
But certainly wouldn’t do it now that he knew what happiness looked like in Liam Craig’s arms.
“Damned right I am, boy-o,” Liam said, some of the fear in his eyes fading.
Josh got it then, that Liam understood about circumstances.
Cancer, death, even human weakness were sometimes beyond our control.
But being there for another human being—particularly one you loved—was one of the few things a truly human being really had mastery over.
“As long as we both shall live” was a heart-beating promise, and Liam had made it.
And now so had Josh.
So when the doctor made her white-coated presence known at the door, seven heads swiveled toward her, a handsome woman with tawny skin and crisp movements, her dark hair pulled back into a tight bun.
When she spoke, her English rang distinctly with a Slavic accent.
“There is quite a crowd outside,” she said bemusedly. “These people are here with your consent?” She peered at Josh.
“Extended family,” he said sheepishly. “Moral support.”
“Well, they must have supported you quite well,” she told him, “because while your iron is low, and your iron and glucose levels were dangerously low when you came in, your aggressive leukemia does not appear to have returned.”
“I’m clear?” Josh asked, almost afraid he’d heard her wrong.
“For now, yes,” she said, giving a severe glare around the room. “However,” she added, “your iron and vitamin deficiencies are cause for concern. Did your doctors not give you guidelines about recovery, one of them being to not push yourself beyond your limits?”
Josh felt the flat gaze of all the people he loved most in the world piercing him with the scare he’d given them.
“I didn’t know it was beyond my limits at the time,” he said with his most charming grin.
And yes—he’d learned to charm and to disarm with that smile, practically from the cradle.
Danny had once warned him not to use his charm like a weapon, because odds were it would end up hurting the innocent, so Josh had tried not to abuse that smile—but he knew he had it.
This doctor, it seemed, was impervious.
“Mr. Salinger,” she said severely, “what are you doing here?”
“My boyfriend put me on an ambulance, and this is where we ended up?” he asked, feeling like he was missing something.
There was a stunned silence. Liam thunked his forehead against Josh’s shoulder, and the parents—all four of them—covered their eyes.
Grace shot up in bed next to him and said, “Oh my God you’re stupid.”
“I am not!” Josh retorted, stung.
“So stupid,” Grace muttered. “Liam—it’s your job now. Tell him why he’s stupid.”
Liam glared at Grace, who glared back, but it was Danny who intervened.
“Doctor, is there anything else?”
She nodded. “Yes—he can leave the hospital this afternoon, but he needs to be here every morning for the next week to have his levels checked and to get plasma and electrolyte infusions—along with antibiotics, because he is just primed for infection right now.” And now she was glaring at Josh.
“And this means that whatever you were doing kiting around Europe, you can very well put a kibosh on until you’ve recovered for at least a year.
After you get the all clear to go back to the States, I don’t want you near a plane for another six months at the very least. For God’s sake, rest, young Mr. Salinger.
Your records indicate you came very close to death less than a year ago. Give your body time to recover.”
Josh nodded, feeling the tightness in his chest that indicated his iron was so low he still wasn’t getting enough oxygen, and conceded.
“Honeymooning,” he said faintly, leaning into Liam’s arms. “We were honeymooning.”
She gave him a slightly less exasperated glance. “Well, do it from home. I understand you have some accommodations in the city?”
“Yes,” Danny said smoothly. “He’s well set up for places to stay.
Felix, Julia, do you want to make the appointments?
Leon, Grace, could you tell everybody they can breathe again?
” He glanced at Liam. “Liam my boy, you can stay if Josh wants you to, but Josh, since you’re not checking out until… .” He glanced at the doctor.
“Noon,” she said adamantly. “After his first infusion.”
“Yes,” Danny said, forestalling any argument Josh would have made. “Then you and I have something to talk about.”
Josh felt Liam standing up as well, and he turned to him in confusion.
“Oh no, boy-o,” Liam said softly. “This, I think, is a conversation you have to have on your own.”
Josh realized he was pouting and shifted it to a scowl instead. “Coward,” he muttered.
“Lover,” Liam said simply. “You need this convo, boy-o, or I haven’t been paying attention.”
Everybody shifted then, with the line of parents hugging Josh, because in spite of the scolding it had been good news, and then Grace—who was the last to go—glared at him and swatted the back of his head.
“Dumbass.”