Chapter 4 #2
After getting them both strapped into their car seats, I drove us to their favorite fish restaurant in Bear Mountain, the aptly named Fish Tales.
They loved the food, but also the fact that the servers told some pretty outlandish tall stories that kept the kids enthralled.
After their meal, they were given the opportunity to cast a kid sized fishing pole into an aquarium of sorts, and hopefully hook a prize.
Neither of them got one this time, but in the past they’d gotten stuffed animals, puzzle books, and other things.
After we finished dinner, we went to the school. Their teacher, Ms. Lopez, met us at the doors, seemingly a bit frantic.
“You should have been here half an hour ago!” she barked. I lifted my brows, and she shrank back. “I’m sorry, sir. I—“
I held up a hand. “It’s my fault,” I admitted. That whole caffeine-sugar thing was gone now, and I was crashing hard. “I got back in from Milwaukee an hour ago, and I’m running on fumes. Please forgive my rudeness.”
“It’s no problem, really.”
Part of the issue with being the leader of the sleuth is very few people wanted to contradict me. Because bears were more aggressive, we took umbrage at things most would let roll off their backs.
“Callie, really. This is on me. Now, let’s see these boys in their costumes.”
She nodded, but I could see she was still wary. I didn’t mind it with people I did business with. They needed to remember I made the rules. Outside the boardroom, though, I tried to be more low-key. Unfortunately, aggression was part of who I was, and most people reacted to that.
I went with her and did my best to help get the boys ready.
After they were both dressed as wolves—sigh—I helped with the other children, who stood in rapt attention as I assisted their teacher.
The one nice thing about being in charge was the kids were usually pretty polite around me.
No one wanted to annoy me, not that I would ever raise my hand to a child.
When Callie called for the kids to line up, they did so.
There was a little pushing and shoving, playfully of course, but eventually they were all ready.
I went out and took a seat in the audience, nodding at the people nearby.
As soon as the lights dimmed, I did my best to focus on the stage, but my eyes drifted shut.
“Chaim threatened my son! He said he’d rip his arms off if he ever went near Brent again.”
From my vantage point, I could see as my father lifted his brows and called for me. I trudged into the room, unhappy with the entire situation.
“Yes, Father?”
“Tell me, why would Chaim Flynn invoke your name while threatening someone?”
I didn’t want to say anything, because Chaim was my best friend, and I didn’t want him in trouble. But my dad turned that steely gaze on me.
“Don’t make me ask again, Brent.”
“I… he… Dad?”
His face grew redder. “What happened. You have to tell me,” he demanded.
Finally, in a burst of anger, I spit it out. “Peter said I should kill myself! He said I was weak, and didn’t deserve to live.”
My father’s eyes widened. “He said what?”
“Chaim was protecting me, Dad. He didn’t do anything wrong.”
The tension in the air was thick and cloying. Dad turned to Peter’s father, his eyes narrowed dangerously. “Your son told Brent he should kill himself? Were you aware of this?”
“What? No, of course not. He’s lying. Peter would never—“
“Are you calling my son a liar?” my father growled, the sound rippling through me.
“But Peter wouldn’t—“
“He did!” I screamed. “He beat me up and kicked me in the ribs. Ask the nurse.”
My father’s nails dug into the surface of his desk, pitting it deeply. “Get out of my house.”
“But Gavin, I—“
“Louis, I’m giving you this one chance to leave now. I’m this close to tearing you apart. Tell Peter that if he ever comes near Brent again, he won’t have to worry about Chaim. He won’t have to worry about anyone ever again. Do I make myself clear?”
Gavin Small swallowed hard. “Yes, sir.” And then he flew out the door like the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels. As soon as the door closed, my father turned to me, and his expression was icy.
“Why is this the first I’m hearing about the incident?”
“Because Chaim—“
“No.”
That one word carried so much weight. “Father?”
He turned, his expression something I could only describe as murderous. “Is Chaim your sire?”
“No, of course not.”
“Is Chaim your leader?”
“Well, no, but—“
“There are no buts here, Brenton. You have disrespected me today, and I won’t tolerate that. Go to your room, and we’ll discuss your punishment at a later time.”
“But, Dad, I—“
He snapped his arm toward the stairs. “Go to your room!” he shouted.
I flew up to the second floor, my entire body shaking with fear. I’d never seen Dad angry like this, and it scared the hell out of me. Mom bailing on us all those years ago must have hurt him more than he let on.
A nudge in my ribs jolted me. I jerked upright. “I’m awake,” I said, a bit too loudly, looking around and trying to orient myself.
The woman beside me, Tessa Montgomery, snickered. “I’m sorry. I would have let you sleep, but you… snore kinda loud.”
Shit. “I’m so sorry.” I sat up straight. “I’ll try not to let it happen again.”
Why was I thinking about Chaim so much lately?
After that incident, Chaim said he couldn’t lift with me anymore.
We still nodded at each other if we passed in the hallway, but the bond I thought we shared was gone.
After graduation, and without warning, he and Benjy left for school, and they never returned.
I was fourteen at the time, and I knew I’d lost my best friend that day.
I confronted my father, demanding to know what he’d done or said to Chaim, and he wasn’t at all happy with my rebellious attitude. I didn’t give a shit. It didn’t change anything, but I was angry, and over time the rift between us became a chasm that widened with every year. It never healed.
I focused on the play. Eddie and Jack were such cute cubs, like all bear shifters.
Wolves, on the other hand…. Ugh, wolves.
Damn shifters who think they’re all high and mighty.
I could beat them any day of the week, with one paw tied behind my back.
When my boys approached the mike, I was surprised by the duet they sang.
They had lovely voices, another gift from their mother.
They both stared at me, likely seeking my approval.
I smiled so hard it hurt. When they finished singing, they stepped back into the group, which closed ranks around them. Tessa leaned closer.
“They were amazing.”
Pride wasn’t a strong enough word for what I was feeling.
My father wouldn’t have stood for me singing.
He was the very definition of gender roles.
Women were supposed to keep things running smoothly at home.
They didn’t work outside the house. Instead they raised the kids, and the man supported them by working hard.
Everything was very cut and dried in his world.
When age caught up with him and he stepped down, I immediately took over as leader.
It shames me that I was going down the same path as he was, until Jenna informed me she was going to work outside the house.
“I forbid it,” I’d snarled.
She opened her eyes wide. “Excuse me?”
“Your place is at home, with our children,” I said, like that was the last word.
She smiled, and I knew I was in trouble.
Jenna wasn’t a shrinking violet at all. She and I had more than a few arguments in the years we were married.
She gave as good as she got, and usually my point would crumble because she helped me to come around to her way of thinking.
It was a whole growth montage with Eye of the Tiger playing in the background kind of thing.
Living through it sucked, but I’m glad she dragged me kicking and screaming into this century.
“Who helped make those beautiful boys?” she asked, her voice sweet as honey and hard as steel.
“What does that have—?”
“Answer me.”
“I did. I fail to see your point. You’re their mother. Taking care of them is your primary responsibility.”
Her eyes widened, and her nostrils flared.
She reached up and stroked slender fingers across my cheek, never breaking eye contact.
“No, my love. Taking care of them is our primary job. That’s both of us.
We’re a team, not two separate individuals.
If that’s how you see our family, then maybe we need to redefine our roles. ”
She gave me a laundry list of things she did during the day.
Stuff that would be much easier if the two of us tackled it, instead of me being at the office from early in the morning until late at night, crawling in long after the kids were asleep and then expecting my dinner.
Then she reminded me the boys needed their father, and asked if I wanted them to have the same kind of relationship I had with mine.
That rattled me, because in her eyes, I was on the road to becoming that same cut of man. The one I loathed.
Dad moved to Spring, Texas after he was summarily ‘retired’.
We hadn’t spoken since. Did I want my boys to do that one day?
Cut me out of their lives and move on like I’d never existed?
Jenna opened my eyes to the reality of life.
I was strolling down the same path as my father had, and that was something I’d hated.
I made sweeping changes—with Jenna’s input, of course.
Women were welcome to get a job. Guys were allowed to stay at home to take care of the family.
Me? I still worked hard. It was the one habit I couldn’t seem to break.
Until the day Jenna told me she’d been to the doctor.
He’d warned her about her blood pressure.
Bear shifters weren’t like wolves. We were disease resistant, but not immune.
Jenna was at home playing with the boys when she suffered a fatal stroke.
They didn’t understand why she wasn’t getting up and started screaming, begging her to open her eyes.
One of the maids, alerted by their cries, stepped into the room and found Jenna’s body.
She was already gone by the time emergency services arrived.
The boys were… different after that. They were withdrawn, reticent, shut off from the world.
They seemed to slow down in their maturation process, remaining toddlerlike in most of their actions, instead of childlike.
The psychologists said that it was the trauma of seeing their mother die, and that it had to heal on its own.
The boys had to know they were loved, and they needed everyone to show it.
They’d gotten a little better since then, but nothing I’d consider groundbreaking.
The weeks after that were a blur. The care of the kids went mostly to the staff while I powered through my job.
Before I realized it, nearly two years had gone by.
The kids were distant with me, and I knew why.
It was as Jenna warned me, Daddy had become a stranger to them.
He was like Santa. Sweep in once in a while, drop off a few gifts, and figured that was enough to earn love until the next time.
It didn’t work like that.
And I had to drag my head out of my ass to open my eyes to reality.