Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
brENT
I pressed harder on the accelerator, wishing we had taken the helicopter instead of the car. My head was filled with questions and, I admit it, a certain amount of doubts.
“What’s on your mind, cub?” Chaim asked, his voice rumbling. It was funny, even when he was a kid, his voice was deep and soothing.
“The boys shifted,” I told him. “With Uly. They never have for me and now I find myself wondering if they don’t feel safe with me, but they do with him after just a day.”
Benjy blew out a breath. “Okay, we need to have the conversation now, Chaim.”
“Yup, we do.” He sighed. “Remember how we were talking about mates?”
“Yeah? I’m sorry, right now I’m not really focused.”
“Right, then pull over. Now.”
I did as he asked and drifted to the side of the dirt road. I turned to him, doing my best to stay calm. “Okay, what?”
“Benjy, do you remember how to get back?”
He scowled. “Really?”
That made Chaim chuckle. “Sorry, Mr. GPS. I forgot for a second. Could you please drive while I talk to the cub?”
“Of course.”
The kids were suspiciously quiet, but when I looked into the back I found they were asleep, their heads resting together.
It was good to see that Chaim’s family loved each other.
I’d always worried about him and Benjy, that something would happen and they’d be alone in the world.
As Benjy and I swapped places, Chaim pulled a blanket from the storage area of the SUV and covered the kids since the mountains were pretty chilly.
It was easy to see the love he had for his family.
Then he and I climbed into the second set of seats.
After we were in the vehicle once again, Chaim buckled up, then turned to me. “Okay, let’s go back to mates.”
Not this again. “You know I’m not buying it, right? I’m not the gullible kid I used to be.”
“And I don’t want you to be gullible. I need you to listen, with an open mind, and hear what I’m trying to tell you.”
Damn it, he was serious. His brow furrowed in that way it always did when you knew without a doubt not trusting him was a bad idea.
“Okay.”
“You said that Jenna had the scent of wildflowers, right? After she died, someone else would smell like that to you. It doesn’t matter what the stories say, we’re not meant to be alone.
I know it sounds callous, and I apologize for that, but there’s someone out there now that would be your mate. It’s just a matter of finding them.”
“I don’t want another one,” I said firmly.
“I don’t doubt it, but it’s not really something we have a lot of control over. The mating instinct speaks to the animal part of us. As humans we have choices, but our animals? It’s something powerful that can’t be denied, no matter how hard we try.”
I didn’t like the fact that someone else out there would smell like Jenna had. It would crush me if I ever found out who it was.
“I hope I never find them,” I said flatly. “Jenna was the only one who should ever smell like wildflowers to me.”
Benjy humphed. “They won’t smell exactly like your wife did. Her own scent was woven with those flowers. The next person will have their pheromones that mingle with the scent. They will smell enticing, but nothing like Jenna had.”
That made me feel a bit better, because if they smelled like her and I acknowledged that, it would be like I was cheating on her. “Well, I doubt I’ll ever find them.”
Chaim squeezed my bicep. “I think you already have.”
“What do you mean?”
He smiled and I knew he should do it more often, because it was nice. “Why did you invite Uly here? You’ve worked with other humans before, but he’s the first person you’ve ever asked to come here, right?”
“How’d you….? Yes, he’s the only one.”
“Last night, as we ate, I saw you staring at him. Your nostrils flared and your eyes were soft. You also leaned closer and used any excuse you could come up with to touch him.”
I had not. “No, I didn’t.”
“When you asked him to pass you the rolls, you stroked your fingers over his hand. It wasn’t obvious, and I doubt he noticed, but I did.
In fact, you asked him to pass you more than a few things that you never even ate, just so he was in your proximity.
You have to remember, I’ve known you for years.
Now, I’m going to ask you something, and it’s likely to be indelicate, but whatever. Are you bisexual?”
I stiffened. No one had ever wanted to know that before. My father absolutely would have killed me if I’d ever said that to him.
“N-No,” I stuttered out, hating the fact I was lying to the one person in the world who actually understood me.
“Remember who you’re talking to, cub. I’m not your father or Peter. I’m bisexual and mated to a man. You have to know I will never judge you for who you love.”
The only person who’d ever known was Jenna.
I felt I owed her honesty when we got together.
She took it surprisingly well and reminded me that bears in the wild weren’t exclusively heterosexual and that more than a few found relationships where they could and that love was the important factor.
Humans were no different and so, being an amalgam of the two, it was no surprise that bisexuals weren’t rare unicorns.
Still, other than back then, I’d never spoken the words aloud.
I wasn’t even sure I could bring myself to do it. So instead, I nodded.
He pulled me to him and wrapped me in his arms the way he did when I was a kid. I might have sniffled, but I refuse to acknowledge it. “It’s okay, Brent. I promise, it’s going to be fine.”
Chaim rarely used my name. To him I was always cub, the little one he stood over and took care of. Back when my father asked me if Chaim was my leader, I wanted to scream at him that yes, he was. And he was a far better one than my dad ever could be.
“But how could Uly, a human, be my mate, if he even is?”
“The kids confirmed it for me. They can smell what makes him part of your family. They can’t process yet what it means, only that they can smell their mother on him, and it makes them feel safe and loved.
And don’t think they don’t love you. It’s the fact that Uly brought your family together again.
Made you all whole. I suspect that in time they’ll come to realize Uly isn’t actually their mom, but someone else.
Right now? They need that. You need that. ”
“But Uly smells nothing like wildflowers,” I insisted, not wanting it to be true.
“Okay, I want you to tell me everything about him, starting with your first meeting.”
I started slowly, remembering him in the coffee shop, the sadness that clung to him, and how I knew he was more than he seemed. Then we jumped to the meeting with his brother and sister-in-law and the cake. How we talked so many times, and how I never felt uncomfortable while doing it.
“But never once did I smell wildflowers,” I advised Chaim.
“Okay, how do you feel about coffee?”
This conversation was like a pinball, bouncing all over, slamming into the sides of the machine. “I love it.”
“And chocolate cake?”
“Only one of the best things ever. I ate three quarters of it, and regretted not having that last piece.”
“What do you think, Benjy?”
“Do you even have to ask? I know you’re right. Uly is your mate, Brent.”
“But—”
“All your favorites, mixed into one individual. I’d be willing to bet, if you got a good whiff of him, you’d detect notes of wildflowers too.
The boy’s reaction also proves it. That scent, to them, is home.
It reminds them of their mother’s, and that means they’re safe.
Plus, with her dying while they were in the room, their brains can’t comprehend her vanishing from their lives, and now they think she’s back. ”
“Why are you doing this?” I demanded, pain lancing through me.
“Our people live in ignorance,” Chaim said.
“Those who believe in mates are called crazy. Those who don’t?
They’re viewed as normal. Most people don’t even talk about them anymore.
Wolves are much better at it than we are.
They understand mates, know about their importance.
The wolves was where I learned about them.
They helped me to realize why Benjy was so important to me. ”
“You’ve consorted with wolves?” I demanded, because my father had forbidden that in our sleuth.
“I did. And they’re good, honest people. I know what crap your dad was feeding us, but I promise you, wolves aren’t our enemies. In fact, we could teach each other a lot.” He pressed his lips together tightly. “I think having a place for all of the people to run would be good for them and us.”
It took me a moment to realize what he was saying, but when I figured it out my anger surged. “You’re suggesting I allow wolves onto our property?” I asked, not believing what he was suggesting.
“I’m asking you to open your mind and trust me. I wouldn’t steer you wrong, I think you know this.”
And I did. Prejudices from years of indoctrination by my father had colored my life, and I realized how I’d probably started my own boys on the same path.
I was mortified. How is it we can say we don’t want to become our parents, then morph into them as we get older?
I’d done my best to break a lot of the cycles he’d initiated, and now that Chaim had pointed it out, I would take this as yet another thing I had to conquer.
“Do you have a contact person? I would like to speak with them.”
His smile widened. “Thank you, Brent.”
I jutted my lip out. “What happened to cub?” I asked.
“You’re an adult now, and I have to remember that. No one wants to be called cub when they’re the leader of the sleuth.”
But I did. Desperately. “Please don’t stop,” I pleaded. “You calling me cub was the only thing that kept me moving when I was younger. And judging by the way I reacted just now? I still have much to learn.”
“Cub it is then,” he promised. “Now, about Uly.”
ULY