Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
ULY
The entire flight back, my stomach was churning.
That kiss? Like nothing I’d felt before.
It was consuming, it was burning me up, and I wanted to have much more of it.
In fact, I wanted to have all of it. I’d been in love before.
That loop-de-loop feeling every time you see the person.
The quaking in your boots when they look at you.
The swoon and sighs you need to contain so you don’t give yourself away? Yeah. Been there, done that.
But it was different with Brent. The other people I had been in love with?
Infatuation at best. Brent? He was the real deal.
I could picture something longterm with him.
And why? Because it wasn’t just about sex, although seeing him strip out of his clothes a few hours ago?
Yeah, that filled my head with some interesting thoughts and the fact they were crystal clear in my mind made me grateful for the pills.
I wonder if Dr. Ross could use my renewed interest in sex as part of his marketing campaign.
As we headed home, I twisted my head around and checked on the boys. They’d played hard, both in bear form and in human form—and it still awed me to say that—and they were exhausted, each sleeping, Eddie with his finger in his mouth. I turned back to Brent.
“They’re such good kids.”
His cheeks pinked. “Thanks, I won’t disagree.”
“Brent, I—”
He waited a few seconds. “Yeah?”
“You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met before.”
He snorted. “I bet you say that to all the bear shifters.”
I wanted to laugh, but I was trying to get the words out.
“I’m serious. When I first met you, I thought you were confident, poised, and the master of your world.
Then after we started talking and you told me more about you, I realized you were a lot like me.
You had your own insecurities and fears, and issues to deal with. ”
“Um…. Thanks? I think.”
“No, I wasn’t trying to make it sound stupid!”
“I never thought you were. Yeah, I’m just like everyone else, at least for the most part.
I don’t have to worry about paying bills, a place to live, or whether I will have to choose between saving for college and feeding the boys, but I do need to ensure the sleuth grows and remains prosperous.
Every person in the town, plus all the people who are working for Ursine anywhere in the world are my responsibility.
I feel this intense weight bearing down on me to succeed for them, for the boys.
” He sighed. “My life isn’t my own. Yes, I have a great many perks and opportunities, but as leader of the sleuth, I live—and, if necessary, die—for them. ”
“What do you mean?”
“Bears can be hyper-aggressive. Threaten what’s ours and we’ll retaliate with deadly force. If someone went after the boys, I would tear them apart without hesitation. By the time I finished, unless they killed me, there would be bite sized pieces of them scattered around.”
“You’d kill someone?”
“Yes.”
The answer was so abrupt, not even a moment’s thought. “But isn’t that murder?”
“It would be. Packs, be they bear or wolf or other shifters, are pretty much a law unto themselves. We do what we need to do and only our peers—the shifters—can judge us. If I killed someone, the sleuth would decide if it was justifiable or if I crossed the line.”
“And if they say you committed murder?”
“I’d be stripped of being the Typhon—the leader—and probably banished. Fortunately, the boys would still be considered part of the sleuth and would be allowed to remain, but I wouldn’t have contact with them anymore.”
“Have you ever killed someone?”
“No, and I hope to the heavens I never have to. Make no mistake, though. I won’t hesitate if I think it’s necessary.”
His phone rang and he smirked at me. “Wanna fly while I take this call?”
“What? Hell, no!” Just the thought made me wanna puke. “I can’t. Maybe I can take lessons at some point.”
He laughed. “I was kidding. The helicopter has autopilot, so we’re good. And you could take lessons, but if I’m honest, I’d rather fly us both.”
And a familiar warmth flooded me. Even though we’d only known each other a little more than a month, Brent treated me like I was special. I found I liked it a lot. “Answer your call.”
He punched a button, then reached for his phone. I was freaking out over the fact he took his hands off the controls and grabbed the sides of my seat to keep from jumping out.
“It’s perfectly safe, I promise.”
Sure, easy for him to say.
“This is Lockhart,” he said into the phone, his voice strong and sure. “Cait? How are you enjoying your time off?”
He pressed a button and a woman’s voice came through the speaker loud and clear.
“It’s been so nice,” she purred. “We went fishing for the first time in years. I’d forgotten how much fun it was. We cuddled in front of the fireplace, him grooming my ears, then rubbing our noses together. I… won’t say what we did after that.”
“It sounds like you’re having a good time.”
“The best ever. Thank you for insisting we do this.”
“It was my pleasure. You deserve it.” He glanced at me. “Cait, I have someone with me I’d like to introduce you to. This is Uly McNamara and Uly, this is my assistant, Cait.”
“Good to meet you, Mr. McNamara.”
“Uly, please,” I said. “And the pleasure is mine.”
“What do you think of Ursine?”
“Oh, I love it here. I’m taking on the job of manny for Mr. Lockhart.”
His eyes narrowed and he mouthed, “Brent.”
“Oh, lovely. It’ll be good to have more bears in town.”
Brent cleared his throat. “Cait? Uly is human.”
She gasped. “Oh my God, I am so sorry!”
“It’s fine. He knows about us.”
“He… He does?”
“Yup. He was watching after the boys and while they were all napping, they shifted and curled up behind his legs. He freaked out when he woke to find himself in bed with two cubs. And because he thought the boys were gone.”
“They shifted? I thought they wouldn’t.”
“Yeah, there’s a story there. Let me run through it quick or… Wait. Uly? Why don’t you tell her?”
“Me?” I squeaked.
“Yup. It’s all because of you this started, so it seems fitting that you tell the tale.”
I was so screwed.
brENT
Honestly, I wanted Uly to become familiar with Cait. As my assistant, she would be talking to him pretty often since I’d be out of the office more once she came back.
“Well… it started in a coffee shop when a group of businessmen walked in.”
“Oh! You work at Espresso Shot! I saw the website and it looked great.”
“Actually, it was Expresso. Uncle Dom liked to play with the alternate spelling, making it seem like everything was express service. It seemed to work for him. The place was usually busy, which is why I don’t work there anymore.
After he discovered I had ten thumbs and none of them worked together, he was about to let me go, but I quit first.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be. Thanks to Mr. Lockhart I made changes in my life.
I went to the doctor, who diagnosed me with ADHD and put me on meds that helped me focus.
Getting here was like a beautiful dream.
I find I like Bear Mountain a lot better than where I used to live.
It’s cleaner, prettier, and….” He looked at me.
“Has much better things going for it. It feels like home to me.”
“I’m glad. We could use some new blood around here.”
“So, was there something you needed, Cait? We’re in the helicopter and Uly is too wimpy to fly it himself.”
She snorted. Just hearing her voice let me know how much more relaxed she was. “I was calling to let you know I’m coming back on Monday.”
“Yeah, no. I do believe I gave you off six weeks, not four.”
“But,” she whined. “We’re both ready to come home.”
“Okay, fine. Put me on the phone with Devon so I can see if he agrees.”
“Happy to,” she said, her voice smug. “Devon? I told you he’d want to talk with you.”
The shuffling of feet, then a hearty, “Mr. Lockhart, good to hear from you, sir.”
“And it’s great to hear your voice,” I assured him. “How are things?”
He sighed. “I have to admit, the advice you gave Cait? It was spot on. The two of us fell in love again on this trip. We sat and talked about why the job meant so much to Cait, and after clearing the air, I feel as though I know her much better now. I can understand why it’s important, and I agree with her.
And so we’re completely transparent? She’s not the one who wanted to come home.
That’s me. While I love being out in the woods, we need to be home so Cait can get back to work. ”
“That isn’t the point here. It’s what the two of you want together. Do you want to come home?”
He was quiet for a moment. “We had a great time, but Cait needs her job to give her part of the foundation she’s looking for.
One of our first conversations was me asking why the job is so important to her.
She told me she’d been working for you since before we met, and that’s what started her believing in herself.
You did that for her. You helped her become the woman I fell in love with.
She wants to give back to the sleuth, to show she appreciates them. ”
I sighed. “I told her she’s invaluable to the sleuth as a whole. That doesn’t mean she can’t take time off.”
“No, and she—we—understand that. We’ve agreed that she won’t forego her accrued vacation days anymore.
Every year the two of us will take the time to reconnect.
To remind ourselves why we’re in love. This is a good thing, sir.
And it wouldn’t have happened without you.
Please, for our sake, let her come back to work. ”
I wanted to argue, to say they needed the time away, but I couldn’t. I trusted my people, and if they said they were ready, I had to take it at face value.
“Fine. Keep in mind, though. If this doesn’t work out, I’m shipping you both off to our remotest branch where you’ll be forced to deal with a tiny house and nearly no amenities.”
They laughed. Uly chuckled. Little did they know, I wasn’t kidding.
“Thank you, sir,” Cait said solemnly.
“It’ll be good to have you back,” I told her.
“Because I’m the only one who knows how you like your coffee?”
“I know, right? These others keep trying to add these weird smelling syrups and that turns my stomach.”
“Well, I’ll be in, so you won’t need to worry about it anymore.”
“You know I’m kidding, right? Everyone has pulled together while you were gone, and that made things run better, but your steadying hand was sorely missed.”
She sighed. “Thank you for saying that.”
“I only speak the truth. We’ll be happy to have you back at the helm.”
“See you tomorrow, sir.”
“Looking forward to it.”
“And Uly? I can’t wait to meet you.”
He smiled brightly. “Same.”
I disconnected the call and regained control of the copter. “I think you’ll like Cait. She’s got a good head on her shoulders.”
“You were kidding about sending them somewhere remote, right?”
“Nope. The two of them need time to figure things out. If they were able to do it in a few short weeks, awesome. If not, then more time will be needed, so they’ll go to one of the places specially designed for that. They will have others around them, but they’ll also have to work together.”
“Your sleuth is kinda family oriented, huh?”
“We are,” I informed him. “Family means everything. Our birthrates are lower than many animals, so the people we do have are precious to us. Especially children. When Jenna discovered she was pregnant with twins, we were ecstatic. The sleuth all gathered around her, offering their help with anything she needed. And it wasn’t because she was the leader’s wife. They do the same for everyone.”
He leaned back in his seat, folded his arms over his stomach, and sighed.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m glad the boys fell asleep behind my legs. I was going to leave and not look back because I thought there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t stay.”
I reached for his hand. “My bear recognized you as my mate and was trying to get me to pay attention. If you had left, I would have come after you and dragged you somewhere safe I could keep an eye on you. My bear’s mind and mine were at odds about what to do.
It got to the point where we considered leaving the sleuth so we could be with you and the boys. ”
“You… I mean…. Really?”
“Yeah,” I confirmed. “I need the sleuth, but my bear needs his mate more. And that want, desire, and need were bleeding into my brain, bringing me around to his way of thinking. Everything we do is influenced by our bears as much as the human half of us. The human side of the equation deals with logic and reason. The ursine part deals with needing to be happy, whatever the cost. Usually we meet in the middle and work things out, but sometimes one desire overrides the other and whichever is strongest holds sway. In this case, the overwhelming desire to be with you was what was important. Especially after seeing you with the boys. My bear was screaming mate, but I didn’t understand it at the time. ”
“How come?”
I sighed. “When I was growing up, mates weren’t a real thing.
So my father told me. They were a desperate fantasy created by people with small minds.
Of course, no one wanted to go against their leader, so everyone believed it to be true.
Chaim and Benjy, though? They knew better.
Benjy is Chaim’s mate and nothing could ever dissuade him from that fact. ”
“I like your friends,” he said. “They’re fiercely loyal. Did you guys ever…. No, never mind.”
This time it was my turn to chuckle. “No, I never wanted to sleep with either of them. I think somehow I knew they were mates, and I would never try to get in between them. Plus, I thought of Chaim as more like a brother. Maybe even father. He cared more about me than mine did, that’s for sure.”
“I’m sorry,” he replied, and his tone told me he was.
“Nothing to worry about. I took over, sent him packing, and we’ve prospered ever since. And when I say we, I mean the whole sleuth, not just the money grubbing bastard who ran it before me.”
“And that was your dad?”
“Yup.”
I waited for Uly to say I should reach out, to fix it, but like Chaim, he surprised me.
“Then you’re better off without him.”
“Agreed. I want to miss him, but I don’t. I doubt I ever will. My mom? She had plenty of issues, but my dad? He was a dick on legs.”
And that image made me laugh long and hard.