20. Felicity
Lucy looked at me with pity in her eyes as Cameron turned on his heel to leave.
My stomach churned at his tantrum, on a livestream no less. I could tell he’d been on edge since we’d gotten to the park, and while I knew he didn’t like being the center of attention, his anger had felt out of proportion to what was going on. And it worried me that nothing I did broke through his mood. Usually, we balanced one another. Today, he didn’t even see me, like there was something bigger going on he wasn’t sharing with me.
Our carefully constructed publicity stunt had just gone to hell, big time. Lucy framing that stupid moment like it was a proposal was ridiculous, and I could understand why Cameron would be upset about it, but did he have to be downright rude? The guy had been through media training, so how could he think that dropping F-bombs and being a surly jackass to a woman with a rabidly loyal following on a livestream would be the right way to tackle the mix-up? There were so many better ways he could have handled it. He could’ve turned it into a joke. Said he was practicing for the real thing, or that he was going to do something bigger and better, so people should stay tuned. No, instead he’d flipped out and come across as unhinged. And made me look like a total loser at the same time.
The public rejection was beyond humiliating, but what made it even worse was the fact that Cameron barely acknowledged me. I felt like an afterthought.
No. Absolutely not. After everything we’d shared together, I wasn’t going to allow Cameron to treat me like a cast-off. He needed to apologize to me.
“Hey!” I shouted after him as he stomped away.
Cameron paused to glance over his shoulder at me but kept walking down the narrow path, which flipped my shame to anger.
“Wait up,” I demanded as I jogged behind him, clumsy in my kitten heels and tulle skirt.
We were far enough away from the crowd that no one was around to see us, but given the whole “in the wild” aspect, I could never be sure we were completely safe from prying eyes.
He slowed, and I caught up to him. “What the hell, Cameron?”
“This was a mistake,” he said with a weary sigh even though I could tell he was still fuming. “We both know it.”
I calmed down a little because I had never expected him to admit to making a mistake. But at least he realized he’d screwed up by acting like a spoiled toddler when Lucy tried to frame his shoe tying as an actual proposal. I kept my mouth shut, waiting for the inevitable apology to follow.
“This was supposed to be a professional partnership, and it went too far.”
Wait…what?
“Cameron, hold on.” My heartbeat sped up. “What…what do you mean?”
His face went hard as he stared at me, and I remembered the way he looked at me the first time we met. A shiver rolled through me. Something was very wrong.
“We got caught up in the fun, Felicity. We slept together—and that was a mistake. We let our feelings get in the way, another mistake. We pretended this silly little campaign was real, but it never was. And I think it’s way past time for us to stop pretending.”
My stomach dropped to my feet.
“Are you serious, Cameron? Do you mean that just the campaign is done, or…”
It was all I could get out because my brain couldn’t process what he was saying. Maybe I was misunderstanding him. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from welling up, because what we’d been doing had felt very real to me. Yeah, we’d never actually talked about where our relationship was going outside of the campaign, but I’d thought we were both happy with it. I couldn’t make sense of what he was getting at.
“I should’ve listened to my instincts,” Cameron continued, ignoring my question. He stared at the ground, like he couldn’t bear to look at me. “We were never right for each other, Felicity. All we did was fight in the beginning. That should’ve clued us in that we could never work out as a real couple. You’re nothing like the women I’ve dated in the past. Maybe that’s why the public was so fascinated by CamLicity,” his voice turned mocking as he made air quotes around our nickname. “People could tell we were a doomed relationship and wanted to watch us implode.” He shook his head and finally met my eyes again. “Well, they got what they were hoping for. It’s done.”
Oh my god, this was Cameron rejecting me. Not the campaign, not Lucy’s maneuvering, but me. Waves of humiliation washed over me as everything fell into place. I sniffled and swallowed my tears, because there was no way I was going to let him see how badly his words were injuring me.
“Cameron, you can’t be serious. You and I were…we were good together.” It came out as a whisper.
“Good or not, I think we lost the message in the madness. The point of the campaign was to highlight Veritique, not get caught up in a silly little romance. We lost control, Felicity, and that’s not something I can allow. I think it’s best if we go back to colleagues and nothing more.”
I hoped he couldn’t see my bottom lip trembling. My face felt like it was on fire.
“I’ll take part in whatever storyline the three of you come up with to save face, but CamLicity is officially over—in every way. I’m heading back to the office; just keep me updated with what’s next. Trust me, it’s better this way.”
My mouth dropped open because I couldn’t believe Cameron was dismissing what we’d shared so easily. Had I been na?ve to think we were heading toward something real? The tears started flowing down my cheeks the minute he disappeared down the path.
I sat down on a nearby bench and allowed myself to cry all the expensive makeup off my face. I couldn’t not cry, not when the detached way Cameron ended it meant he’d never been invested in whatever we’d been doing together. He’d been so calm as he rejected me, like I was an underperforming employee he was terminating.
But it didn’t make sense. He’d been so real with me, so raw, and passionate, and devoted. Was it all an act? He’d convinced me that he cared for me. Neither one of us had used the word “love”…but in my heart of hearts, I’d really thought we were headed that way.
How could I be so wrong? Again? I banished any thoughts of Steven before they could make me feel even worse.
Lucy’s team was waiting for me since I’d given them my purse and phone to hold during the interview. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and hoped I could pass for someone who didn’t give a shit about the humiliation that had just happened in front of millions of viewers.
As I walked through the park, I kept my eyes downcast, forcing my face into a neutral expression. I wondered how long I’d feel like I was being watched. When I did manage to glance up, no one seemed to notice me, which was surprising and comforting at the same time.
Lucy saw me walking toward where we’d set up for the interview and gave me a sad smile and wave. She met me halfway and squeezed my hand gently.
“Hey, I was worried about you. Are you okay?” she asked with concern.
I shrugged. “You tell me. What’s the internet saying about the world’s most humiliating rejection?”
Her mouth turned down briefly. “Ah, well, let’s just say the comments so far aren’t great. But no one is saying anything about you—all the anger is directed toward Cameron.” Lucy widened her eyes. “Obviously, since he turned the moment into a little tantrum. People are confused by what happened, but we can use that to our advantage, I think. Or at least I hope so.”
“Did you rewatch the footage?” I asked with a pit in my stomach. “Was I visible?”
I had been so caught up in Cameron’s freak-out that I hadn’t put on my game face, and there was a chance I was in the video hovering behind him like a teary-eyed loser.
“I rewatched it,” Lucy answered with a nod. “You’re sort of in the background, but the focus of the video is definitely Cameron.”
“Let me see it.” I held out my hand.
“Felicity…I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Give yourself time to get some distance from it.”
I gestured in front of her with a frown, and she tapped the screen, then reluctantly put her sparkly phone in my palm.
The video started off with Lucy chatting to her followers, answering questions about CamLicity as the text popped up on the screen. I glanced at the viewer count and was astounded that even a quick throwaway live was enough to get thousands of eyeballs within seconds. Lucy was good at her job, and that fact was about to bite me in the ass.
She was chatting about which pieces she had on that day, and dozens of people said they were off to the Veritique website to buy the same necklace and bracelet for themselves. Viewers asked about my skirt, my shoes, and who did my hair. It was like every bit of what was happening on screen was for sale.
Which I guess it was.
Then, it started to unravel. It was like watching a car accident unfold. My heart rate ratcheted up like I was waiting for a jump-scare even though I knew exactly what was about to happen.
Lucy looked off at something in the distance and made a little excited eep! noise, and the camera swung around to frame Cameron and me down the lane.
My stomach clenched. The on-screen implosion started with our kiss.
I felt tears welling, because damn it, we looked so real in that moment. I couldn’t help remembering how real it had felt, too.
“Aw,” Lucy said. “Look at those two stealing some alone time! They can’t keep their hands off each other, you guys. I swear, Cameron always finds excuses to touch Felicity. It’s giving ‘addiction’ y’all! How cute are they? Let’s see those hearts!”
I watched as the stars and heart-eye emojis from her followers flooded the screen.
“Is it weird that I’m totally spying on them right now?” she asked her followers in a conspiratorial whisper. “I guess we all are! I love those two so much, and I know all of you do too. Best love story evah! CamLicity in the wild, my babies!”
I let out a humorless snort.
“Give me the phone,” Lucy said in a flat voice that sounded nothing like her on-screen persona. “It only gets worse from this point on. You don’t need to go through that again. Once is enough.”
I shook my head. “Absolutely not. I’m part of this story. I need to see how the world is reacting. Don’t forget, it’s my job.”
Which Cameron had just made abundantly clear to me.
I glanced at the comments as the footage of us chatting played on. People couldn’t get enough of us. The comments were almost universally positive, which was unheard of because internet trolls were real. My stomach twisted into a knot when I reached out to touch his arm. I knew what was coming next.
Then, Cameron dropped to his knee and Lucy started shrieking. “You guys! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, it’s happening!”
The footage went shaky when Lucy ran closer to us. As Cameron started his little tantrum, I realized Lucy was right. I didn’t want to hear it again. I glanced at the comments before handing her phone back and wasn’t surprised to see vomit emojis and lots of “WTAF?”s
I’d barely even looked to see if I was in the frame as Cameron went off, and most likely, no one else had been looking at me, either. Why watch me when Cameron was the one putting on the show?
“Wow. Okay.” I inhaled a shaky breath and pushed down all thoughts of the way Cameron had crushed my heart, both publicly and privately. “We’ve got our work cut out for us if we want to recover from that.”
I was impressed with myself for focusing on my job considering how shattered I was.
“Hey, hey. Don’t worry about how we’re going to spin the story yet. Sandrine and I can brainstorm some ideas. For now, just focus on you.”
Lucy studied me for a moment, then pulled me into her arms. The tears started flowing the minute my head hit her shoulder.
“It’s okay, we’ll figure it out,” she cooed as she rubbed my back. “No one will be the wiser.”
Then it hit me. Lucy didn’t know what Cameron had said to me once we were alone. She thought I was reacting to his livestream tantrum, not the fact that he’d ripped my heart from my chest, thrown it on the ground, and crushed it beneath one of his Italian leather shoes.
I was so lost, I didn’t even know if I should tell her the entire truth of what had happened between us. Or what I thought had happened. Given how quick Cameron had brushed it off, maybe it really had been nothing more than sex. Everything that had felt sweet and real and meaningful…all of that had been fakery for the cameras, apparently.
CamLicity had been a job, nothing more. For that matter, it was still my job. I needed to keep my focus on that, otherwise I feared I’d go curl up in my bed and refuse to get up for a few weeks.
Lucy pulled away and gave me a little smile. “Don’t worry, public support is on your side. You’ll come out of this just fine. Who knows, you might end up with a couple of brand deals!”
I forced myself to fake a smile because I didn’t want to make Lucy feel bad. But I didn’t want public support, or brand deals.
It killed me that despite everything he’d just put me through, I still wanted Cameron.