Chapter 1
Last Year
C HLOE’S FACE TILTED UPWARD. The brightness of the sun made everything seem orange through her shut lids.
“What are you doing?” Luke asked.
“I’m photosynthesizing.”
He laughed. “What does that mean?”
Chloe’s lids fluttered open. She glanced toward her boyfriend, wondering when the edges of embarrassment had started creeping into Luke’s laughter.
“I’m soaking in the sun,” Chloe plainly explained. “Winter felt unbearable.”
“You always say that.”
“Because it’s always true,” Chloe replied, turning her face back toward the sky.
“What happened to your shoes?” Luke picked up the leather sandals Chloe had kicked off moments earlier.
“It’s called grounding. One of the artists at the gallery was talking about it. It’s good for our bodies to be barefoot.”
“I don’t know how you deal with those crazy artists.” Luke handed Chloe her sandals. “Maybe you could test this theory somewhere other than Central Park? There’s no telling what happened on that patch of grass. At a minimum, it’s full of dog piss.”
Chloe stared at her feet, the fresh spring grass poking between her toes. Luke was probably right. But it wasn’t like she had other options. She suffered through the unbearably cold winters surrounded by dirty snow and too much concrete. She needed warmth and fresh air and nature. And for one perfect March day, New York had delivered. It was a tease. Next week, she’d be bundled in a parka and the weather report would threaten snow. But New York always gave Chloe one warm serotonin-boosting day, and she wasn’t going to waste a minute of it.
She reached for her sandals, slipping them back on her feet as Luke wrapped his arm around her waist. Her wavy blonde hair trailed down her back, brushing against Luke’s forearm. “Where to next?” Chloe asked.
Luke had planned an entire day of birthday surprises. He had woken her that morning with a deep kiss and a gleam in his eye, vague on details but full of promise, instructing her to “get ready for the best day of her life.”
That was Luke. Everything was going to be the best, and he was usually right. So far, the day had been pretty perfect. They had eaten at their favorite breakfast spot. Not one of the pretentious brunch places that were more of a scene than a meal, but the diner that made the crispiest hash browns and the fluffiest waffles. Then he took her to a small pop-up exhibit of an artist she’d been wanting to see for months. Luke even attended the partner yoga class Chloe asked him to join each weekend. After a quick shower, they made their way over to Central Park to soak up the sun.
“This is our final spot,” Luke replied, a nervous shake to his voice. “Does it remind you of anything?”
Chloe nodded. “Yeah. It reminds me of freshman year, lying on the quad, pretending to study.”
“Me too,” Luke replied. “There was this one day, Wyatt was giving you shit for being late to class.”
“That was every day,” Chloe said as she and Luke began walking through the park, finding an empty path to explore.
Luke smiled. “Yes, but this day you poured a bottle of water over his head and told him he was going to be late to his next class.”
“I did do that,” Chloe winced. Luke’s best friend Wyatt had a way of pushing her buttons. “Except he wasn’t late.” Her eyes fluttered at the memory. “Wyatt went to class soaking wet.” Chloe and Luke had crouched at the door to Wyatt’s English literature seminar, watching him shake the water out of his hair as he shouted to Chloe that there was never an excuse for being late.
“That’s when I knew,” Luke said, stopping at a bend in the path.
“Knew what?”
“That I loved you,” Luke said.
Chloe’s eyes darted away, focusing on the blooming daffodils instead of her boyfriend’s face. “You didn’t love me for another year, Luke.” Like many couples who met in college, Chloe and Luke had skirted around commitment—perhaps even longer than most.
Luke shook his head. “It might have taken me a year to say it out loud. But I knew way before then. When you poured that bottle of water on Wyatt’s head, I knew. And I was terrified.” He swallowed slowly. Chloe noticed how he seemed to hesitate before speaking again. “Who meets their soulmate at nineteen?” Luke said quietly.
Chloe focused on the bend in the path ahead. “You don’t believe in soulmates.”
Luke reached out, cupping her face and turning it toward his. He stared into her eyes as he said, “Yes, I do. Chloe, you are my soulmate. I’ve known it for nine years.”
Chloe held her breath, afraid to make any movement that might alter the moment she’d spent almost a decade anticipating.
“I never should have made you wait. I never should have made you doubt that you are the single most important person in my life. There’s no one like you, Chloe.” Luke’s face beamed in a bright smile as Chloe heard footsteps approaching.
Chloe turned around and found herself surrounded by their best friends. Marianne, with her swollen belly, tears falling down her cheeks. Sloane with her hand so tightly linked with Alden’s that Chloe could detect a slight wince cross Alden’s face. And Wyatt, with his hands shoved deep into his pockets, a small grin even he was unable to hide. Her heart raced as she saw a bottle of champagne in Alden’s hand, a nervous energy bouncing among the friends who had become her family.
“What are you guys doing here?” Chloe stuttered.
Alden and Wyatt began to hum a familiar tune. Sloane immediately elbowed Alden’s side. “You two are such idiots. That’s the commencement song, not the wedding march.” Sloane’s hand flew over her mouth, realizing her mistake.
Marianne’s eyes narrowed. “Do not ruin this moment. I’ve waited nine years to see Luke beg.”
Chloe’s eyes widened. Her breath shortened to tiny puffs as her heart beat faster. When you’re twenty-eight and you’ve been dating the same boy for the better part of a decade, you start to wonder whether it was a forever kind of love. Most of the time, Chloe felt like life with Luke was inevitable, and yet their big commitment was missing.
Chloe turned toward Luke and rubbed her palms along the sides of her blue floral dress. Of course she would have sweaty palms and unmanicured fingers on this day. Luke didn’t seem to notice. He reached for her hand and slowly bent onto one knee, his eyes never leaving Chloe’s.
Chloe focused on Luke’s bright blue eyes sparkling against his perpetually golden skin. He reached into his pocket, strands of wheat hair falling across his forehead. Luke retrieved a small black box. His voice was clear and confident as he asked, “Marry me?”
Chloe’s eyes filled with tears. This was a moment Chloe and Sloane and Marianne had giggled about for years. When and how Luke would finally propose, because everyone assured Chloe it was as certain as the sunrise.
But as the years had passed, Chloe’s confidence faltered, especially when everyone else’s lives seemed to advance. She watched her friends get married, first Marianne right after graduation, now expecting her first child. Then two years ago, Sloane and Alden got married at the most lavish party Chloe had ever attended. Wyatt was still single, but relationships were never Wyatt’s priority. He was married to his writing.
As Chloe approached her thirties sometimes she felt frustrated, waiting on her forever. She wasn’t the type of person to issue relationship ultimatums. But she had been ready and wondered why Luke wasn’t.
Despite her insecurities, Chloe knew there was no love like Luke’s love. He could change the energy of any room he walked into, immediately drawing a crowd with his playful confidence. When he focused on Chloe, while the rest of the room was focused on him, Luke’s attention became a drug she could never stop using.
They had survived the jealousy of young love. Stayed together through new jobs and new cities. They had fought and made up and daydreamed about a future together. Chloe believed in soulmates. She thought she’d met hers as a college freshman, but Luke was too sensible to admit the same. Until now.
On this warm spring day, Luke’s practicality and Chloe’s faith were finally aligned. Maybe it was the promotion he had gotten at his investment bank earlier in the week, or maybe it was the new moon rising, or maybe after nine years together Luke finally realized that Chloe was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love. A love he could lose.
Luke stayed on his knee, a confident smile directed at Chloe as he waited for a response to a question he should have asked years ago. He cleared his voice and asked again, “Will you marry me, Chloe?”
Chloe looked at the sky, taking a deep breath as she readied herself to shout the answer she’d waited years to deliver.
Luke placed the ring on the tip of her finger. Chloe’s eyes drifted to the perfect vintage setting, an emerald surrounded by a circle of diamonds, exactly like she’d always wanted. Luke was right. This was the best day of her life. For years, she’d joked about a drive-through Vegas wedding or a courthouse lunch break. Luke’s response was always, We’re going to do it better than that . And that’s exactly what he was doing, giving Chloe a better proposal than she’d ever wished for.
She didn’t want to forget a single moment, her mind replaying the morning she had spent with Luke leading up to this proposal in front of their closest friends.
In between flashes of Luke kissing her awake to the way he had nervously rolled his shoulders on the walk into the park, one seemingly insignificant interaction hitched in Chloe’s brain. She didn’t know why it bothered her or why it was the most vivid memory of the day. But it triggered dominos of memories Chloe couldn’t ignore.
A wave of unease rose in her body. Maybe everyone has doubts in these important life moments, but that wasn’t Chloe. She had a fearless approach to life, one of her many lovable qualities. After so many years together and so many years of longing, Chloe’s answer should have been an easy yes.
She looked over her shoulder, the blur of her friends waiting to celebrate. When her eyes turned back toward Luke, nothing about the moment felt easy. Her body panicked, a result of her heart and gut clawing against one another. That’s when she pulled her hand back, the ring falling to the ground. She couldn’t see the confused faces behind her, but she could hear Sloane gasp.
Chloe’s lips quivered. She shook her head as she whispered, “No.”
Then Chloe ran away.