Chapter 22
This Year
“I T’S NOT YOUR FAULT,” Alden whispers again and again as he holds Sloane.
“What happened?” Chloe asks.
Alden pauses, seeming reluctant to say anything as Sloane shakes in his arms. “It sounds like the fire started in the nursery,” Alden admits. “We won’t know for sure until the inspector finalizes the report, but the fire chief seemed pretty certain that’s where it began.”
“What does that have to do with Sloane?” Chloe asks.
“The smell,” Sloane whispers. “Do you remember that rotten smell from this morning?”
Chloe nods her head.
Alden seems tortured as he continues speaking. “The fire chief said it was probably an electrical issue. He asked if we’d had any work done in the nursery. Exposed wires can cause fires.”
“Burning rubber,” Sloane stammers. “The wires melted the plastic insulation. He asked if we noticed any unusual smells.”
Chloe shook her head. “But how is this your fault, Sloane?”
“The sconce. I ripped it out of the wall and ended up setting fire to everything.” Sloane looks up at Alden. “I’m so sorry. I kept pushing and pushing, and this is where we are now.”
“Stop,” Alden says forcefully. “You’re safe. We’re all safe. Blaming yourself isn’t going to make anything better.”
“But it’s all my fault,” Sloane keeps mumbling.
It will be weeks before the fire inspector finalizes his report, proving that Sloane is right. The fire started in the nursery because of frayed wires trapped in the walls after the sconce was ripped away. But even if Sloane’s actions started the fire, they were all to blame for the destruction that followed. Because those frayed wires traveled down to the basement where Alden was storing the fireworks for the final dinner celebration. Next to the storage area where Luke and Wyatt had left the extra gasoline canister for the golf cart. Beside the sea grasses Chloe and Marianne had collected on their beach walk.
Throughout the week, they’d all left tiny accelerants, unaware that their combination was capable of so much damage. When Sloane pulled the sconce out of the wall, it may have started the fire. But they all played a part in the explosion that destroyed everything.
None of them know the seemingly insignificant roles they played in turning a few sparks into a blazing building. All they know is that the fire started in the nursery, and Sloane is shouldering the blame.
“What if Luke had been hurt?” Sloane says.
“He’s fine,” Alden quickly replies.
Sloane seems more fragile than ever before.
The car ride to the hotel is silent. Wyatt is in front with Noah. Chloe and Marianne are flanking Teddy, Marianne’s eyes focused on her sleeping baby; Sloane and Alden are in the back, Sloane slumped against his side as Alden types frantically on his phone, beginning the mountain of work required by his insurer.
They drive past a Walmart, and Marianne taps Noah on the shoulder and flails her arms to get him to pull over. They drop Marianne at the entrance and circle the parking lot for twenty minutes, afraid if the car stops, Teddy will wake.
Marianne finally comes out of the store with two giant plastic bags and zero explanation.
When they pull into the hotel parking lot, Teddy finally starts to stir.
“Alright, everyone may speak now,” Marianne says as she unbuckles Teddy and immediately nuzzles his neck.
“What did you buy?” Wyatt asks.
“Toothbrushes, underwear, and pajamas. None of us had anything to wear.” Marianne has a mischievous gleam in her eye. “I got matching sets for everyone.”
“I’m so sorry. I’ve ruined everything,” Sloane says, her voice shaking. “I’ll replace everything you had in the house, Marianne. I know your pump was expensive.”
“I’m thrilled the breast pump is destroyed. I don’t care about any of that stuff. None of us do. We care about you.”
“That’s what I keep saying.” Alden kisses Sloane’s forehead.
Sloane squeezes his hand. “Let’s go check in.”
Alden sighs. “I need to find my sister. I can’t believe she just showed up here. She’s so unpredictable.”
“She’s young. She’s supposed to be unpredictable,” Sloane says.
Noah asks for extra room keys for the adjoining suites and tells everyone to get ready for the explosion of baby gear that Teddy requires. As the front desk attendant makes the keys, he tells Noah that the other members of the party already checked in.
“Luke and Lucy are probably wondering where we’ve been,” Alden mumbles.
They all cram into the elevator and walk down the hallway toward the rooms. Marianne hurries ahead because apparently Teddy has a diaper emergency. Noah follows to assist. Wyatt and Chloe hang back from the rest.
“Are you okay?” Wyatt asks.
Chloe nods.
“Are we okay?”
Chloe nods again and squeezes his hand, willing it to be true. Chloe wants to say more and starts to speak, but they’re distracted by the yelling at the end of the hallway.
Alden is screaming. This is the second time Chloe has heard him shout this week, which makes a total of two times in their entire decade-long friendship.
Wyatt and Chloe quickly make their way down the hall to the hotel room to find out what’s going on.
“Why are you kissing my sister?” Alden shouts.
Luke holds his hands in the air. “Technically, she’s kissing me.”
“She’s TWELVE!” Alden screams.
They are all crowded in the hallway, and Chloe swipes the key card, ushering everyone inside the hotel room. She barely wants to deal with this new mess. There’s no reason why hotel guests should have to overhear this disaster.
“Alden, we’ve been over this,” Lucy calmly states. “I’m twenty-three. I’m an adult. I’m kissing Luke. Get over it.”
Chloe and Wyatt exchange nervous glances. Because although it is a relief not to be the center of drama for once, it is clear Alden is now on the verge of a breakdown.
Luke turns toward Lucy. “Babe, I told you I needed some more time before telling everyone.”
Lucy shakes her head. “I don’t need more time. And you don’t either. You’re afraid and so I’m doing it for you. Luke and I are dating. We like each other. Where is the wine?”
“Where is the wine?” Alden stutters. “Are you out of your mind?”
“I’m old enough to drink. I’m old enough to have sex with your best friend. This is happening.”
Alden starts to hyperventilate. “Oh, my God, Sloane. Help me.”
“I’m going to take Alden to get some oxygen.” Sloane grabs her husband’s shoulders, spins him around, and pushes him out in the hallway. Sloane is much better at managing someone else’s crisis than dealing with her own problems. She seems to push aside all of her guilt about the fire and focus on Alden’s rapid downward spiral. She grips his hand tighter because it looks like Alden is about to lunge at Luke, and violent Alden is the strangest thing any of them have seen.
From the doorway, Sloane says, “Lucy, wine is an excellent idea. Why don’t you see what you can find in the minibar and we will join you in a few minutes.”
Wyatt looks at Chloe and mouths Are you okay now?
Chloe looks down at the floor, her face hidden from the room. Wyatt immediately sweeps to her side, concern streaking his face as Chloe’s shoulders begin to shake.
She’s furious, her eyes narrowing in on Luke. “You’re unbelievable. You’re dating Lucy?”
“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Luke says defensively. “Especially not after this morning.”
Wyatt steps forward, ready to jump in, but Chloe pushes him back. “I felt terrible about our breakup. I stayed away, giving you the space I thought you needed, isolating myself from my best friends. And all that time you had already moved on? You were fine and you let me wallow in guilt?”
“I wasn’t fine. I was mad.”
“Well, that makes two of us.” Chloe shakes her head. “Maybe more once Alden comes back. He’s going to kill you.”
“I know,” Luke said. “It just happened.” Luke runs his hands through his hair, and for a moment Chloe sees something like remorse on his face.
Lucy must see the same thing. She grabs Luke’s hand and weaves her fingers with his while resting her head on his shoulder. “Alden will be fine. You’re his best friend. Once he sees how happy we are, this won’t be a problem.”
“Seems like wise advice,” Wyatt smirks.
Luke shakes his head. “She lectured me the entire drive over. You don’t have to look so smug.” He stares at Wyatt and Chloe, standing side by side. He gestures between the two of them. “I’m going to try to be okay with this relationship.”
“Was that so hard?” Lucy elbows his side.
“Yes. It was incredibly difficult,” Luke replies.
“But do you feel better?” Lucy asks.
“No. Not yet. But I’m trying.” Luke grinds his teeth as he says those last words.
“Fine. Let’s drink some wine.” Lucy claps her hands.
Wyatt leans down and whispers to Chloe, “I think, maybe, Lucy is good for Luke.”
“I hope so,” Chloe says, anger still bubbling. She doesn’t need Luke’s permission. And she’s so frustrated by his behavior. Chloe knows there’s good inside him, but maybe someone else can man the search. Because it’s not her problem anymore.
The door to the adjoining room opens, and Marianne walks in holding Teddy. “What’d I miss? That blowout was ridiculous. I had to shower him off.”
Wyatt shakes his head. “These rooms are remarkably soundproof.”
“I’ll fill you in,” Lucy says. “Luke and I are dating. Alden is hyperventilating, but he’ll come around. And Luke and I can’t wait to double date with Wyatt and Chloe because Luke is totally on board with their relationship.”
“The last part is inaccurate,” Luke mutters.
“But possible one day,” Lucy adds.
Marianne looks at Noah. “You are changing the next diaper. I am not missing out again.”
There’s a knock on the door. “I ordered pizzas,” Noah says. “Does that count?”
“Barely,” Marianne replies.
While everyone is digging into the boxes of pizza, Luke asks Chloe if she will talk to him outside. Chloe reluctantly agrees, and they make their way onto the balcony.
“I owe you an apology,” he says. “That’s what I do on balconies, right?”
Chloe remembers that first fight, so many years ago, and how much has happened since then. She folds her arms across her chest. “I’m listening.”
“I deserved what you said earlier.” He sighs and continues, “I should have been honest. And I’m so sorry I hurt you, Chloe.”
For so long, this was all Chloe wanted to hear. Some acknowledgment from Luke that her feelings mattered. It only took a year apart for Chloe to realize that her constant search for validation only made them both miserable.
“We’ve both hurt each other,” Chloe generously says. “And I think we both realize that we aren’t meant to be together.”
Luke swallows. “Knowing it and hearing it out loud are two different things.” He seems to hesitate and then blurts, “Can I ask you something?”
Chloe nods.
“Why did you stay with me for so long?”
It’s a question Chloe has asked herself dozens of times over the years. Only recently has she been able to formulate an answer. “Because the idea of us was so good. And being alone was the scariest thing I could imagine.”
“But it’s not anymore?”
“No. Spending my whole life with the wrong person. That’s scarier.” Chloe is honest, and although it isn’t her intention, her words hurt Luke. It’s evident by the look on his face.
“You think it will be better with Wyatt?” Luke seems to be struggling to keep his tone even.
“I know it’s messy …” Chloe trails off. “I don’t know if Wyatt is the right person for me, but I’m open to that possibility.”
“I’m trying to be okay with this.” Luke shakes his head. “But I can’t understand how you’d chase a possibility knowing the pain it would cause.” Luke pinches the bridge of his broken nose, reminding them both of this morning’s fight.
“It’s new, Luke. It’s hard to explain.”
“Can you try?”
Chloe takes a deep breath. “Wyatt forces me to think about what I want and who I’ll become. I don’t always have the answers to those questions, but he makes me ask myself. There isn’t another person in my life who has ever done that.”
Luke looks away. “You fight with him all the time.”
“I know.”
“We never fought,” he mutters.
“Because I never tried to be anything other than what you wanted,” Chloe blurts.
Luke finally makes eye contact. “I’m sorry,” he says again.
Chloe swallows. “It’s my fault too. I should have expected more.”
“I want you to be happy. And if it’s with Wyatt, then I guess I’ll have to get on board with that.”
“Thank you, Luke.”
Chloe leans in and gives Luke a hug, but not before waving at the four people staring at their every move. Once again, they have an audience, but for Chloe, things finally feel different.
She walks back inside and steals a slice of pepperoni off Wyatt’s plate.
“Everything okay?” Wyatt asks.
“I think so,” Chloe replies honestly as she takes another bite of pizza before reaching out to hold Teddy.
After an hour, Sloane returns with a slightly calmer Alden. “He’s going to be fine,” she announces.
Alden walks over to Luke. Everyone in the room tenses, Luke especially. Alden puts his hands on Luke’s shoulders and squeezes. “Please don’t ever describe sex with my sister,” he says.
“I solemnly swear,” Luke quickly replies.
“Never cheat on her,” Alden adds.
“Of course not,” Luke promises.
“I don’t like it. If you hurt Lucy …” Alden trails off, and Sloane interjects.
“We will all kill you. Clean up your act,” Sloane instructs, making everybody a little bit scared.
Alden looks around the room. The contents of both rooms’ minibars are on the coffee table. There are candy wrappers and empty mini vodka bottles along with two jars of baby food. Alden picks up the pureed sweet potatoes. “Did one of you eat this?”
Wyatt shrugs. “I was starving, and Noah didn’t order enough pizza.”
Marianne smiles at Sloane. “While I was gone, Noah got Teddy to eat for the first time. He’s sleeping now, but we all tried some and agree the peas are foul, but the pears are actually pretty good.”
Sloane runs over and hugs Marianne. “I feel like we should celebrate the breast freedom.”
There’s a simultaneous groan from every man in the room that Sloane quickly dismisses.
“You guys have matching pajamas?” Sloane squeals.
Marianne smiles. “Walmart’s finest.”
“You guys look ridiculous,” Alden says.
“They’re surprisingly comfortable,” Wyatt comments.
Everyone is wearing pale-blue pajama pants with pictures of popcorn all over their legs. The matching shirts say Pop It Like It’s Hot . It’s impossible not to dance every time you read the shirt.
Marianne hands sets to Sloane and Alden.
“Come on, Alden, let’s put ours on.”
Before they head into the bathroom to change, Chloe asks, “Did you hear anything else from the fire chief?”
“The house is completely gone,” Alden says.
“We told him about the loose wires from the wall sconce. He agreed that’s probably how it started,” Sloane says softly. “I’m so sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. It was an accident,” Alden says. “Everything is okay. We have the important stuff right here.” He smiles as he pulls his wife into the bathroom.
For the rest of the night, Sloane never leaves Alden’s side. They seem to have entire conversations with the glances they exchange. More than once, Chloe thinks they should be alone, discussing the home they just lost and the futures they can’t seem to agree upon. But maybe the fire erased the need for those conversations. At least for tonight. Because the way Sloane rests her head on Alden’s shoulder and the way his chin quivers each time he looks into her eyes shows how much they need each other at this moment. Chloe hopes so at least. Maybe losing so much made them realize how much they still have.
Eventually, they divide into a girls’ room and a boys’ room. But that’s after they’ve taken turns holding Teddy and making plans for his first birthday party. Luke and Wyatt agree to wear costumes. Lucy volunteers to handle the flowers. Sloane maps out an entire menu in between bites of the leftover pizza Marianne hid from Wyatt. And Chloe sketches hand-drawn invitations.
After Teddy’s midnight feeding and unsuccessfully trying to whisper through three rounds of Never Have I Ever before Alden announces that he’s never playing this game with his sister again, they eventually find places for everyone to sleep.
The room is finally quiet. Chloe can hear the rhythmic breathing of her friends as they fall asleep. And she realizes that despite the chaos and anger, the secrets and the pain, this week brought them back to the place Chloe had hoped they’d return. Together.