26. Madison
MADISON
“Can I have sprinkles?”
“On your apple slices?” I said, laughing as I put the snack down in front of Kenna on the kitchen island. “I think it’s a little early in the day to be covering your fruit in sugar.”
“Princess asked for it.”
“Oh, did she?” I tried and failed to hide my smirk as Kenna gave me a cheeky grin.
Honestly, with how miserable she had been lately, seeing that grin was like seeing the sun come out after days of storm clouds.
In light of that, would sprinkles really be the worst thing in the world?
Footsteps drew near, and I turned my head, expecting to see Alistair.
Instead, I spotted Weston and Locke. “Hey, you two! I didn’t realize you were here.
” I teasingly gestured to the apples. “I would have made more snacks.”
Weston managed a smile, but it looked forced. Something was clearly bothering him. “Yeah, security let us in. Didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Uncle Weston!” Kenna cheered. “Uncle Locke!” She climbed off her stool, racing right to them, getting Princess all excited. Locke swept Kenna onto his hip, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, gripping him like a tiny squid.
“We popped by to see Alistair, but…it didn’t go well,” Weston murmured as Locke distracted Kenna by talking about the artwork on the fridge.
“What happened?” I asked.
Weston sighed, weary. “I think he’s just on edge. Maybe we shouldn’t have come.”
I bit my lip, a swell of sadness gathering in my chest. It took everything inside me to stuff it back down. I wanted so badly to try to help, to make things right. But that wasn’t my place. Alistair had made that clear, and I had to accept his decision—even as it broke my heart.
Staying on as his nanny—I’d done that for Kenna.
Because that little girl needed someone in her corner while her world was falling apart.
But it was the hardest thing I’d ever done, and every morning I woke up feeling like the sadness and anger and frustration might strangle me. I cleared my throat. “So what now?”
“I have no idea,” Weston said, rubbing his jaw. “Anyway, he told us to get out, so we’re—”
“We made sea glass, Uncle Weston!” Kenna cried suddenly, wriggling out of Locke’s arms.
“Hmm?” Weston said.
“Sea glass jewelry,” I corrected as Kenna raced over to the kitchen table to pick up one of the necklaces we’d made last week.
“I want to give it to Aisling,” Kenna said, hurrying back to show it to Weston. “Can we go to your house so I can see her?” She jumped, giggling excitedly. “Can we go now?”
My stomach twisted at her question. Locke scratched awkwardly at the back of his head.
“Ah, sweetheart,” Weston said, crouching down to her level. “I think it’s going to be a little while before you can come over and visit us. But I’d be happy to give it to Aisling for you.”
Kenna stared at him, her expression blank for a second, but I could see the tiny gears turning behind her eyes—all the tension, the new rules, constantly being told no. Her eyebrows crashed together, her lips pursed in anger.
“No!” she declared. “I want to be the one to give it to her. Aisling is my friend.”
“I know she is,” Weston said, trying to soothe her. “And she misses you a lot. Maybe you guys could chat on video?”
Kenna refused to be soothed, whirling around, fists balled up as she glared at me. “Why can’t I go?” she said, her lip starting to tremble. “I want to go play with Aisling.”
“I know you do, kiddo,” I said.
“I want to go now!” she said, finally bursting into tears. They rolled down her cheeks, and she rubbed furiously at her nose.
“What’s going on?” a gruff voice asked. Alistair appeared in the doorway.
I gave him a flat look. What does it look like? I wanted to say. Your child is miserable.
“Come here, love.” Alistair reached out, trying to comfort her, but Kenna pushed his hand away.
“No,” she cried. “It’s your fault I can’t go to Uncle Weston’s to see Aisling. You won’t let me go anywhere.” She sobbed even harder, and Princess nudged at her knees, whining in sympathy.
“I know it’s hard to understand—”
“Daddy’s being mean,” she wailed, throwing herself at me. I picked her up, holding her as she cried on my shoulder. Alistair wouldn’t look at me, but I could see the devastation on his face.
Locke exchanged an awkward look with Weston. “We should go,” he murmured.
Weston nodded, looked back at Alistair once, the air crackling with tension, then the two of them walked out, the sounds of Kenna’s sobs filling the kitchen.
I knew Kenna couldn’t grasp the complexity of this situation, but she knew Alistair was responsible for the new rules; therefore, her being stuck here, unable to go see her friend, was his fault. It was kid logic, but she wasn’t exactly wrong.
But who the hell was I to say anything?
Just the nanny.
Kenna cried for a long time. By the time her sobs had faded to hiccups, she was exhausted and didn’t even argue as I laid her down for a nap. As I sat there on the edge of her bed, stroking her hair, listening to her soft breathing, I mulled over what to do next.
I knew Alistair didn’t want to hear a thing I had to say. He’d made that perfectly clear. But this wasn’t about my feelings. This was about Kenna. And if he couldn’t see that…I shook my head, decision made, and got to my feet, heading to Alistair’s office.
I stopped at the door, my insides twisting.
A couple of weeks ago, I would have strolled right in without knocking, and Alistair would have looked up from his desk, giving me that sexy half smile as he rolled back his seat to welcome me on his lap.
But that was back when I thought we were building something together.
Things were different now. So I knocked, then waited in the hall like any other employee.
“Come in,” he called.
I popped the door open and stepped inside, biting the inside of my cheek to keep my emotions in check. I was here to talk about Kenna. That’s all that mattered.
“Did Kenna go down okay?”
“Yeah, crying really took it out of her.”
His expression grew tense at the mention of her crying, but he simply nodded. “Can I help you with something?”
“I wanted to…I think…” I swallowed hard, fighting to find the right words. Fighting to find words he’d actually listen to, struggling with how to begin. “Weston told me you guys had a disagreement.”
Alistair bristled in his chair. “I don’t need people coming in here, telling me how to live my life with the bloody press knocking down my door.”
“Right,” I said. “But maybe that wasn’t what they were doing. Maybe they’re just concerned about you because they’re your friends and they’re trying to find a way to help you through an impossible situation.”
“I presume this conversation has a point?” he asked, his voice as sharp as a blade.
“My point is, well…” I just needed to spit it out or I never would. “This is an impossible situation, and I’m not sure you’re giving enough thought to how it’s all impacting Kenna.”
“Enough thought?” He barked a sharp laugh. “It’s only just on my mind twenty-four seven.”
“No, you’re thinking about the press constantly. You’re not thinking about what it’s actually like to be four and be told that you can’t see your friends. That she can’t take Princess outside—”
“I’m protecting her,” he snapped. “That’s my job.”
“Alistair, you don’t even want her looking out the damn windows!” I said, gesturing across the room. “You have her locked up in this place like Rapunzel.”
“And that’s my bloody prerogative,” he said, getting to his feet. “I thought I made it clear that I’m the one who’ll decide what is and isn’t safe for my daughter.”
“So chasing off her uncles is protecting her?”
His hands curled against his desk, nostrils flaring as he glared at me. “It is if I say it is. I get to decide who she’s allowed to be around. That includes family, friends, and staff.”
Staff.
Yep, that was me. I swallowed the sick taste on the back of my tongue.
“And I won’t have people questioning my decisions in my own house!” he growled.
I released a heavy breath. “Does that mean I’m fired?”
Some of the fight went out of him at that, his hands flattening against the desk.
I knew he was in defensive mode, but some rational part of him had obviously realized that firing me would make his life and Kenna’s a hell of a lot more difficult, especially since he’d just pissed off her other two childcare options.
“No, I still need your help with Kenna,” he admitted. “But I am going to insist on my rules being followed without question.”
I nodded, defeat ringing through me. I knew this had probably been a lost cause when I’d walked in here, but hearing him speak just reinforced the distance between us now—the line he’d drawn in the sand with me very firmly placed on the other side.
He’d hunkered down to protect what mattered to him, and I didn’t make the list.
So what the hell was I doing here?
If I was really just an employee, that should mean showing up when my shift started and leaving when it ended.
Living here made it too easy for the boundaries to blur.
I’d gotten overly invested in these two people, and for my own peace of mind, I needed some space.
I could continue being Kenna’s nanny for a little while longer while he sorted childcare, but I needed to start treating this as a job and nothing more, which meant separating myself from the family and the drama.
“Do you have an issue with that?” Alistair asked.
I blinked at him.
“Following my rules?” he reiterated.
I sucked my teeth. “No,” I said. “But from now on, I think it’s best that I have some space from Dunhope while I continue nannying for you. Tomorrow, I’ll show up to work my shift, but…I’m not going to stay here any longer.”
I’m not going to stay with you.
I stared at him hard, studying every microexpression, but he either had the world’s best poker face…or he genuinely didn’t care. All I got was a sharp nod. “Make sure you’re here by eight.”
I turned on my heel instead of responding, feeling like the world might drop out from under me as I all but ran back to the guest room. I started grabbing clothes at random, stuffing them into my duffle bag without really seeing what I was doing as tears blurred my vision.
Emily had told me not to fall for this man. Not to cling to a person or a place where I’d never find home, but I’d gone and done it anyway.
And look where that had left me.
Lost and alone.
Because this was truly the end of us, wasn’t it?
I blinked away the tears and picked up my phone, dialing Locke. He answered on the first ring. “Madison?”
“When I first got to town, you promised to find me a place to stay if I felt like I couldn’t stay with Alistair anymore.” I sucked in a shaky breath. “Does that promise still hold?”
“Of course,” he said. “We’ve got room for you at the inn.”