Chapter Sixteen
Bailey
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Oh crap. Xander might have only sipped from his wine this whole evening, but D had refilled my glass a few times. I wasn’t drunk by any means—I didn’t even feel really tipsy—but clearly I’d had enough to speak out of turn. I pressed my lips together. “That didn’t come out right.”
“Bailey,” he said, reaching over the table for my hand. Heat instantly coursed through my entire body when he laced our fingers together. The gesture felt so intimate. “Listen, I’d rather not talk about that.”
“I’m not even sure why I wanted to know,” I admitted.
“That doesn’t matter. All that matters is that it would put you at ease. I don’t have any secrets. I’d just prefer that we enjoy this evening. As to the other thing, that’s a secret I’ll never share. It’s not mine.”
We didn’t get to talk much more because D returned with dessert. He’d made Christmas trifle and doused it in booze for all it was worth. It tasted more like amaretto than cake, but it was amazing.
“This has been spectacular. It’s like every course goes with the next one,” I murmured as I finished my dessert.
Xander was looking at me intently. “You didn’t say anything about that list. The things that confuse you.”
“Oh... I don’t remember any of it.” Blushing, I added, “I didn’t even make the list.”
“I want you to be comfortable with me.”
“The dinner totally did the trick.” I flashed a seductive/tipsy smile.
“I want you, Bailey.”
Ohhhh, that totally worked for me, judging by how my body felt.
“I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.” He was keeping his voice low, and good thing he was, because otherwise, all the other couples could hear us.
I was too speechless to say anything else, so I just nodded.
There was a hot glint in his eyes, and he nudged my leg with his under the table. “Do you want us to ask for another dessert or more wine?”
“No, I need a bit of fresh air.” I needed to walk off the wine, if that was even possible.
A few minutes later, we were out on Decatur Street. The bright side to drinking so much wine was that I wasn’t cold at all.
“Someone’s really warm, huh?” Xander asked me.
“Yep.”
“No need for me to warm you up, then.”
I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. “If you insist, I won’t say no.”
“I do.”
“The jazz music is closer now. Pity they aren’t playing Christmas carols.”
“What’s your favorite carol?” he asked, amusement thick in his voice.
“‘White Christmas.’ Yours?”
“I don’t have a favorite one.”
“You just hate all of them equally?”
“I don’t hate them,” he said with a grin. “I’m just not as into them as everyone else.” He straightened up. “Wait a second. I know where this saxophonist is. He’s on Toulouse, next to Café Beignet.”
“How would you know that?”
“Because I’m there sometimes with Bella, and I recognize his way of playing. Want to head over there?”
“Sure. I love the celebratory feeling between Thanksgiving and Christmas,” I said. He gave me his arm, and I hooked mine around it without a second thought, putting my head slightly on his shoulder. I couldn’t blame this on the wine; I simply wanted to be with him. “It’s officially acceptable to start enjoying all things Christmas.”
He kissed the top of my head, and I felt as if someone doused me in warm water. “As if you need it to be official.”
“I don’t, but everything comes to life with lights.”
“It does make the city look friendlier.”
I instantly straightened up. “Will you look at that. An aspect of Christmas that you like.”
He chuckled. “I think you’re starting to rub off on me.”
As we walked farther down the street, I saw the saxophonist, instrument in hand, eyes closed as he played. To my surprise, Xander let go of me and headed to him, interrupting him. He whispered something, and the man nodded. Then Xander put a hundred-dollar bill in the collection bin.
Wow, he was generous. I loved that.
“What was that about?” I asked when he returned, but I had my answer the next second when the music changed.
“He’s playing ‘White Christmas’!”
“Your favorite.” To my utter astonishment, he took my hand and asked, “Want to dance?”
I had no words, so I simply nodded. He put an arm around my waist, moving me in a slow, intimate rhythm that matched the music right there on the corner of Decatur and Toulouse for the whole Quarter to see. But I didn’t care, and I had a funny feeling that neither did he. Right now, all that seemed to exist was us, the smell of powdered sugar from Café Beignet, and “White Christmas” filling the air.
Xander pressed his cheek to my forehead, and I was close enough to smell his cologne. It was manly and so very addictive. He didn’t say a word as he swayed me to the rhythm of the carol, and neither did I. I was simply enjoying this magical time and being here with this amazing man. It was probably the most romantic moment of my life.
The sounds of the Quarter started to filter in after the music ended. Xander very reluctantly dropped the hand he had on my waist as he took a very small step back, then tilted my chin up. I’d never seen him smile like this.
“This was the most amazing thing ever.”
“For me too.”
He brushed my hair behind my ear. I licked my lips and caught him looking at my mouth. I wanted nothing more than for him to kiss me. Then he pushed my hair behind my other ear as well. A second later, I realized he’d just been prepping the terrain. He leaned in, sealing his mouth over mine.
The kiss went from tentative to passionate within seconds, and I gave in to all his demands without even thinking. I desperately needed this kiss more than anything else. We were shrouded in the essence of the city, the smell of beignets, the sound of jazz, and I was losing myself to this man a bit more with every breath.
I didn’t know how much time had passed when he pulled back. I looked at him through hooded eyes.
“You’re shivering.”
“I hadn’t even realized.” Even though my inner temperature was close to boiling, I was cold now. “The effects of the wine are starting to wear off.”
He instantly straightened up. Nooo! I wanted him to come back and kiss me some more.
“I’ll take you home.”
My stomach dropped in disappointment, but I didn’t say a word.
On the drive home, it was on the tip of my tongue to ask him why he’d changed his mind. Why weren’t we going to his place? But I needed some more wine to do that.
Once we reached my house, though, Xander asked, “What’s wrong?” We got out of the car and walked side by side. “You’ve been silent the whole way.”
“Um...” I laughed nervously, glancing away. I wasn’t sure what to tell him. “Nothing. I guess the food made me drowsy.”
“Bailey.” His voice had dropped an octave. “Don’t do that.”
“What?” I asked, casting my gaze to him.
“You can tell me anything.”
I simultaneously wanted to hold my cards close to my chest and also put them all on the table and be vulnerable with him. The two instincts warred, and the second one won. Here goes nothing. “I’m just wondering why you changed your mind.”
“About what?”
“Wanting me.”
Leaning in, he growled, “I didn’t. Why would you think I changed my mind?”
“You said you were going to take me back to your place and show me your fireplace, and then you didn’t.”
We were silent for a few seconds, and then a smile inched across Xander’s face. It got bigger and bigger until it was a full-on smug grin. Very smug. “I see.”
“I don’t,” I whispered.
“You think it’s because I don’t want you.”
“Why else?”
He touched my face with the backs of his fingers before cupping my jaw. Then he drew his thumb over my lip. “It’s because I want you so damn much that I can’t think straight. And if I can’t think straight—” He took in a short breath. “—it’s dangerous. I didn’t want you to feel like I have expectations, like you can’t turn me down.”
“That didn’t even cross my mind.”
“I can barely think about anything else.”
I was starting to feel warm again. “Really?”
“Yes. And tonight was fucking perfect. Don’t for a second think I don’t want you.”
I didn’t wait for him to kiss me this time. Instead, I put my arms around his neck, lacing my fingers behind his head, and tilted toward him. The last thing I was aware of before our mouths met was yet another sexy growl. And then I was completely lost to Xander LeBlanc.