22. Gretchen
Gretchen
Zoe texted me later that night asking me to meet her on Jan’s front porch. I slipped on some shoes and headed over, finding her rocking on the swing that looked out onto the street.
She slowed the swing until I sat down next to her, then pushed off with her feet, sending us in motion.
“Is Jan asleep?” I asked. It was only ten-thirty, but she was an early riser who went to bed early.
“Yeah, I think her travels finally caught up with her. She was half asleep on the couch by nine-thirty and in bed by ten.”
“How’s it going with you guys so far?”
“Good. We talked about my mom, what happened when she left, and I told her a little about my childhood and my life in Chicago. The good parts anyway.”
“There’s probably no sense in torturing her with the bad stuff,” Gretchen said.
There was a tinge of sympathy in her voice. We’d shared enough about our childhoods for her to know why I didn’t want to burden Jan with any of it.
“But things with your mother weren’t all bad,” I reminded her. “Just like some of my foster placements were decent. It’s important to remember the good things in life, not just focus on the bad parts.”
“Yeah.” She brought her leg up on the swing between us and turned to face me. “I really like her, my grandmother. It’s just surreal to know she exists, and even more surreal to see how excited she is about meeting me. We lost so much time together.”
“She’s been lonely for a long time. She keeps busy with her friends and her volunteer work, but I know from personal experience that it doesn’t matter how much you fill time with other people, it’s still hard to come back to an empty house every day.”
We watched at each other in the dim light, then I shifted sideways and leaned forward to capture her lips with mine.
We both stayed still for a few seconds, staring into each other’s eyes like we’d find the secrets of the universe there.
Then the tip of Zoe’s tongue darted out, sliding against the seam of my lips, and she deepened the kiss.
Just like every time we kissed, things turned electric. We moved as close as we could, kissing and stroking each other’s backs until we either needed to stop or find the nearest bed. We stopped.
“I’m going to miss sleeping with you tonight,” Zoe said quietly.
I scooted back and turned to face the front again, moving away from temptation.
“Same here. It’s funny, I’ve been sleeping alone forever, but after having you in my bed the past week, it seems weird without you.”
We stayed out there on the rocker for another thirty minutes, sometimes talking but mostly swinging quietly, then I pressed a quick kiss to Zoe’s forehead and headed home to bed. Alone.
I thought about her the entire next day, wondering how things were going with Jan, what they were doing, how she was feeling. It took every bit of self-control for me to stay focused on my work and not keep checking my phone for texts from Zoe like some lovesick teenager.
“She was only at my place for two weeks but now my house seems empty without her,” I confessed to Rochelle at lunch. “I miss having her close.”
We’d walked a few blocks away from the office to eat at our favorite sushi place, which had the benefit of allowing us to talk privately without worrying about someone from work overhearing.
“She seems great, very smart,” Rochelle said. “And pretty. She reminds me of someone, but I can’t for the life of me remember who.”
“Julianna Margulies on ER?” I asked.
She smacked the table excitedly. “Oh! Yes, that’s it. It was driving me crazy. What’s going to happen with you two now that her grandmother is back?”
“I don’t know. It’s not like she can tell Jan she wants to head next door and have sex with me.
They’re taking the time to get to know each other, which they should.
But between that and her new job, I don’t know that there’s a lot of time for me.
But I’m having dinner with them tonight so at least I’ll see her then. ”
“You’ll figure something out,” Rochelle assured me. “These things have a way of working out in the end.”
That night I knocked on Jan’s front door promptly at six, a bottle of wine in one hand and a bouquet of daisies in the other. Zoe opened the door, stepping out onto the porch and closing it behind her long enough to give me a quick kiss.
“I missed you today,” she whispered.
“Same.”
Jan was in the kitchen, and she rushed over to give me a hug. That was Jan for you, she was very physically affectionate. When I first moved in next door to her it threw me off, not being around a lot of that kind of behavior when I was younger, but now I was used to it.
“Grandma taught me how to make a pot roast,” Zoe told me proudly. “You’re going to love it.”
“I’m sure I will.”
I’d been to Jan’s house for dinner many times and I’d never been disappointed. Better yet, she always sent me home with leftovers.
Zoe and I set the table then she helped her grandmother bring out the food while I poured the wine.
While we ate Jan shared stories about her trip, some interesting, some verging on outrageous.
When she started going into detail about the sexual prowess of an Italian man she’d met on the cruise, Zoe groaned like an embarrassed teenager.
“Grandma! I don’t need to hear this!”
“I had no idea you were such a prude, Zoe.” Jan looked amused. “I would think by your age you’ve had plenty of sex.”
For some reason that made me blush, my eyes going to Zoe without meaning to. I noticed that she was staring at me with a weird look on her face, her cheeks also as red as tomatoes.
“Wait,” Jan said, her gaze ping ponging between us. “What’s going on here?”
When neither of us said anything she reached out and poked her granddaughter on the side with her finger. Zoe broke my gaze and turned to her grandmother.
“What? I’m sorry, I missed that.”
“You two have a vibe,” Jan said. “I thought I saw it yesterday, but figured I was too tired from my trip. But now that I’m thinking about it, you were staying at Gretchen’s house for two weeks, and that gave you plenty of time to get to know each other.
And I thought I saw her walking between our houses last night when I got up to go to the bathroom… is something going on with you two?”
Zoe sent me a pleading look. I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to say but there was no sense lying about it.
“We, uh, we got to be friends while you were gone,” I told Jan.
“Friends?”
“Good friends.”
Jan looked between us again. “So is this a friends with benefits thing? Or are you two dating now?”
“It’s complicated,” I said.
Zoe still hadn’t said anything, which was freaking me out a little bit.
I knew she didn’t want to appear flighty or irresponsible in front of her grandmother, but the connection between us was obvious to anyone who looked hard enough.
Not only had Jan figured it out, I’d also had several people from work approach me after the picnic asking if Zoe was my girlfriend.
Jan leaned back in her chair with a huff. “What’s complicated about it? Are you just friends, friends with benefits, or are you dating? I don’t know why your generation has to be so weird about everything.”
“We’re dating,” I said.
Zoe’s eyes widened in surprise. Technically we had not talked about this. We’d never discussed what our relationship was going to be once Jan came back, or whether we’d continue spending time together. But I still felt compelled to state my feelings.
“I like Zoe a lot, and I want her to be my girlfriend.”