29. Liam
CHAPTER 29
LIAM
I t takes a few days to get my thoughts in proper order. I’m still not certain exactly what to do with all these feelings, but the one thing I know for certain is that I have to see Emma again. Even if she doesn’t want to see me, even if she really does want me out of her life forever, we should at least talk about it like adults.
I have to explain to her that it was the surprise that got me when I saw her that day, more than anything. It’s not that I don’t want her. It’s that I wasn’t expecting to see her, and her dropping the baby bomb on me made me panic.
That I’m sorry.
And though her words at Phoebe’s house seem to suggest that this is what she wants to hear, I don’t want to take anything for granted. I need to think my game plan through. I need to do this right.
And that’s how I find myself standing outside Rogers Memorial Hospital, staring up at the sign, wondering exactly what it is that I’m doing with my life. How have all my choices led me to this point, lingering outside waiting for a girl?
In my head, this plan had been brilliant. Go to the hospital, show up, tell Emma I’m sorry. Fairy-tale ending. What could be better?
But in all my brilliant scheming, I’ve forgotten that life isn’t a fairy tale. This is stalking her at work. This is speaking to her without giving her a chance to escape if she wants to. This is creepy.
But I’m committed now. I have to see her.
Even if she rejects me, even if she yells and screams and hates me forever after this, I have to see this through. If I want any chance of getting to know my child, I have to do this.
I take a long, deep breath and walk into the reception area.
“Hello,” I say to the woman behind the desk. She looks up at me with a frown.
“I’m sorry, sir,” she says. “You can’t be in here. Patients are supposed to wait in the public area.”
“No, I’m not a patient,” I say. “I’m a doctor.”
“A doctor? Where’s your badge?”
I sigh. “Not at this hospital. Look, I’m looking for Dr. Emma Rodriguez, do you know her?”
The woman breaks into a grin. “Oh, Wonder Girl. Of course I know her.”
“Can you tell her that I’m here for her? Please?” I cringe at the clear desperation in my voice.
“Why don’t you tell her yourself?” says the receptionist, jutting out her chin, trying to indicate that Emma is walking right behind me.
I freeze, my heart leaping into my mouth. Time slows down around me as I turn.
And there she is.
Just as I remember her, her long hair tied up, her face twisted in thought, her arms filled with paperwork. Lost in her own busy world, she glances over in my direction — maybe to smile at the receptionist, maybe for no reason at all.
I open my mouth and any word I’ve ever known is trapped on the tip of my tongue. “Emma,” I manage to call out, scared that she’s going to walk away before I have a chance to say anything to her at all.
She jolts in surprise at hearing her name, then blinks in a double take when she notices that it’s me. She stumbles, almost dropping everything she’s holding. “Liam? What the hell are you doing here? I’m at work. You can’t be here.”
She makes as if to leave, but I reach out to her, running towards her. I’ve come this far. I can’t stop now. “Wait, Emma, please. I’ll understand if you don’t want to see me again, but just give me two minutes. That’s all I need. Two minutes of your time. I just want to say I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” she echoes incredulously, staring at me with those big brown eyes again.
“I am. Will you let me explain?”
Her mouth opens and closes, and then she grabs me by the elbow to drag me off to another room. She closes the door behind us and I stand still, waiting for her to be the first to break the silence.
She folds her arms and stares at me. “Well?” she says. “Explanation time. Right now.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m sorry I’ve stalked you at work, but I need to tell you that I made a mistake.”
She cocks an eyebrow at that, and I take it as a sign to continue.
“My job is the most important thing in the world to me. It has been for a long time. It’s why I like you. Because I know you understand. Work is important to you too.”
“It is,” she agrees.
I take a deep breath. This is harder than I thought it was going to be. “I’ve seen a hell of a lot over my career, but I’ve never seen anyone like you. Nobody who understands like you do. I was so stupid to let you go.”
“You think?” she says. Her words are sharp and speak volumes, but the look on her face is one of complete uncertainty, like she’s trying to defend against a feeling she doesn’t want to have. She really is just like me.
“These last few days, I’ve been on the maternity ward nonstop. I’ve seen families and their babies, and I’ve realized that maybe I can have it all. Work doesn’t have to be less important to me if I have other people in my life that I care about.”
“What are you trying to tell me?” She takes a shaky breath. Again, she’s trying to be strong, but I can see the look in her eyes that’s telling me she’s unsure about everything that’s happening.
“I’m not a perfect man,” I say. “But I want to be there for our baby. If you’ll let me, I want to be there for you. I love you, Emma. I will always love you. And I’ll do everything I can for our baby.”
“That’s all I ever wanted you to say. I never thought I would hear you say it.”
“If it’s a problem, I can go,” I say.
She rolls her eyes at me. “I’m not letting you go that easily. You’re staying right here where I can see you, and then you’re coming home with me when my shift is over, and I won’t take no for an answer.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I say with a dramatic fake salute. She shakes her head, but she can’t hide the smile anymore.
Despite everything, there’s an absolute calmness in my heart. A stillness that tells me everything is just as it’s meant to be.
“Don’t start that,” she grins, her eyes shining with tears. “I only just forgave you for being an idiot, didn’t I?”
“I hope so.”
As we’ve been talking, we’ve been moving closer to one another, and now, with another step, I’m so close she could lean forward an inch and fall into my chest. Our eyes lock again, and I give her the most genuine smile I’ve given anyone since I left her.
“It’s not a choice, is it? Family over career? I don’t have to choose because I don’t have to fight to survive. I have everything I could ever want or need.” I’m rambling now, letting the thoughts that have been formulating for the last few days spill out of me in a wordy mess.
“No, it’s not,” she says, but before I can say anything more, she presses a finger to my lips and shakes her head. “I love you, Liam. And I don’t need perfect. All I need is this.”
Before I can say anything, she rises up on her tiptoes and pulls me in, our lips colliding in perfect fireworks. All the words I had been about to blurt vanish, because suddenly they’re not important anymore. Everything I could need to say is right here, in this kiss.
It seems to last forever, yet somehow it is over too soon. The salt from her tears lingers on my lips, and I reach out to brush my thumb over her cheek, wiping them away. I never want to be the reason she cries again.
“Our family is going to be perfect,” I whisper.
Emma wraps her arms around me and squeezes like she’s trying not to let me go. “Yes. Yes, it is.”
After that, there really are no more words as our lips collide again, our fingers twining as, just for this moment, we carve out a little slice of heaven just for us.