Chapter Fifteen
His body thrummed with life, every nerve tingling in the afterglow of something more than just passion.
It was as if he’d been awakened from a long, restless slumber.
Though weariness tugged at his limbs, he felt more alive than he had in years.
Used. Spent. Cherished. His muscles, sore from effort yet fully sated.
He’d been with others since Ailith, shared laughter and warmth in a lover’s bed, but none had left this…
this fullness. None had undone him the way she had, with her whispered sighs and the way her lithe body melted over his like warm silk.
Ailith had seeped into every breath, every touch.
She had given him everything, and for the first time in years, he’d let himself take.
When she’d told him she still loved him, her voice had trembled, the words caught somewhere between hope and fear. She’d braced for rejection. But how could he ever reject the only woman who had ever truly held his heart?
He drew her close, wrapped her in his arms, and pressed a kiss to her hair, breathing in the scent of her, lavender and earth and something uniquely Ailith. He closed his eyes. God above, how could he ever let her go again?
Outside the walls of the cottage, pain still reigned.
The wounded and maimed not far from this fragile cocoon of warmth.
He could’ve been one of them. A single misstep, a deeper cut, and his body would’ve been among those draped on the practice field, never having had this moment.
Never feeling her lips on his skin again.
Never knowing if ever there he’d ever forgive her.
The heaviness of guilt coiled around his heart. It felt selfish to lie here, wrapped in tenderness, when a world filled with suffering existed just beyond the threshold. But perhaps, just this once, fate had gifted him mercy.
Soon he would rise, don his weapons, and face the reality again. But in this stolen moment, he faced something far more daunting, his own heart. Because here, in this bed, lay the woman who had once broken it.
She’d betrayed him, had not waited for his return. Ailith had believed Brant’s lies that he’d been unfaithful. After knowing each other for years, loving each other for years, she’d trusted a near stranger’s tales and turned away from him without question.
That she’d then married Brant quickly, perhaps as a salve or as revenge. Whatever the reason, it had been the ultimate strike that had shattered his heart into pieces.
And yet… even as resentment had festered inside him over the years, it had never managed to kill what he felt for her. The ache had dulled, like a wound leaving a scar, yet she held his heart.
He wanted her still. Wanted a life with her. But this time it would be different. He would go with his eyes fully open and not pretend the past hadn’t happened.
He would tell her everything, his hurt, his hope, and the raw edges of trust that would need mending. If they were to walk forward together, they’d have to learn one another again. Let love grow slowly, not from the fire of desire alone, but from the embers of honesty and understanding.
And if she was willing to take that journey with him… he would never let her go again.
Ailith moved to lay curled against him, her body warm and still. He felt it then, her quiet trembling, the wet warmth of tears soaking into his chest. Every now and then, she sniffed softly, as though trying to keep the sound of her sorrow hidden.
Hendry’s heart clenched at her weeping. Words didn’t come, though there was much to say, but he couldn’t find a way to begin. He placed his hand at the small of her back, a slow stroke meant to soothe, to speak where words failed.
“I have been angry for so long, Ailith. At ye. At Brant. At myself. Even at God for taking ye from me. The moment everything I cherished vanished, it was as if life no longer mattered.”
Ailith listened in silence.
“Aye, I continued in my duties, spent time with my family and even with women.” Ailith stiffened and in a selfish way Hendry liked that for a moment she felt what he’d endured when she’d been with another.
He continued, “Through it all, my heart however remained like a heavy stone lodged in my breast. Ye had moved on, stopped loving me.”
“I never…”
“Let us not ever pretend that the past didnae happen. Ye must have felt something for Brant. Ye were his wife. Slept next to him for years. I expect that feeling between ye grew.”
Ailith nodded. “I did grow to care for him. He was my husband and in some ways kind,” she said in a soft voice.
Hendry had to stop from interjecting that lying to her from the start had not been a kind thing to do.
Instead he continued, “I would prefer it if ye and I are completely honest with one another. Even if it is hurtful, I will nae forgive any form of untruth.” He let out a breath, bracing, knowing that his words would be raw, but necessary.
“In my heart, I ken ye are the woman for me. That no one will ever make me feel the way ye do. But I cannae say that I love ye.”
A sob escaped her lips, sharp and quiet. “I-I understand. W-what can I do?” she stuttered.
Hendry shrugged. “I dinnae ken. I suppose it will take time. What was broken between us will take time to mend. Trust will have to build.”
“I hate that we lost so much,” she said, fingers curling into the skin of his chest. “That I let someone ruin what we had.”
He nodded, his jaw tight. “So do I. But we’re here now. I do wish to move forward, I need time to… I dinnae ken… think things through.”
“I will wait,” she said fiercely, the words trembling with emotion. “I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
Hendry drew her closer, his arms a vow around her body.