Chapter Twenty-Nine
Thomas Bennet felt like an idiot, standing at the cottage door with freshly picked flowers in one hand and a small pouch of candied fruit in the other.
He had donned a burgundy coat, reminiscent of the red he had once looked so dashing in.
He had bathed in peppermint water, her favorite scent, and he had even styled his thinning grey hair in the way he had once worn it, twenty-one years ago.
One thing had certainly not changed; he was a damned fool.
He knocked again, fearing perhaps they were not at home.
Finally, Jane appeared at the window. She smiled at him before turning into the house; he could hear her calling out to her grandmother.
He was obliged to wait some more; he fidgeted with his cravat, tapped his foot, and was on the verge of turning to flee when the door finally opened.
“Good morning, sir,” Jane said, leading her grandmother out into the garden, where a card table had inexplicably been placed near the side of the house. “We are going to take our tea outdoors and play a game of cards, but Miss Bates is inside, attending to some mending.”
“What can be mended,” Mrs. Bates grumbled, glowering up at him as Jane led her down the path.
Mr. Bennet entered the house and found Fanny at her work; the garment she was mending was an unmentionable, and she hastily tucked it into her sewing basket. A very fetching blush spread across her cheeks. “Oh! Good morning, Thomas.”
“Good morning, Fanny.” He bowed and offered her the flowers. “These are for you, to say thank you.”
She smiled coyly at him. “Thank you for… raising such a fine girl?”
“Jane is a credit to you, but I refer to my gratitude given in advance – for the advice I have come to ask of you.”
“Advice? What could you possibly wish to ask me – I daresay know what you are about, even if you may appear ridiculous with that preening – well! But Jane, of course – it must be Jane. She is very different from Lizzy, is she not? But then, Jane has grown more like her sister lately.” Fanny brought her fingers to her lips, as she often had when she knew she was rambling and suspected he would tease her for it.
The sunlight caught her hair as she tipped her face to laugh, and he could see hints of gray in her golden tresses. He was baffled to discover it made her even more beautiful – even if she was laughing at him. “Oh, Thomas, you look so serious!”
“I came to talk to you about Lizzy,” he said. “May I sit?”
“Of course; would you like some tea?”
“Yes, I think so. I believe it may be a rather long… I say, does your mother still keep a bottle of brandy in the back of the old hutch?”
“She does. You are welcome to look for it; I will fetch the tea things.”
When Fanny returned, Thomas set the bottle of brandy down on the tea tray. He hesitated, looking between the sofa and the chair, before he sat at Fanny’s side. “Do you not have a servant to do these things for you?”
“Martin is usually here, but he has gone to call on Mrs. Hill,” Fanny said with a sly look.
He made a face at her. “There must be something particularly exciting in the air in this part of Surrey, for I believe the number of attachments going on to be remarkably high.”
Fanny grinned. “Do you mean to ask me what I think of Lizzy and Mr. Darcy?”
If Thomas were honest with himself, he wanted to speak to her about something – anything.
And when he noticed Mr. Darcy’s interest in his daughter, Thomas’s first thought had been what Fanny might make of it.
“You have noticed, as well, the way they seem always to be whispering together, exchanging sly looks.”
Fanny’s blue eyes twinkled with mirth. “I remember all the symptoms of a youthful attachment, Thomas.”
“And so do I – that man is very near a declaration; I do not know if Lizzy is unaware of it, or so exceedingly confident that she has not bothered to work herself into a state over it.”
“I think Lizzy is just happy , Thomas.” Fanny smirked as she poured a little brandy into her tea, and then a more generous portion into his teacup.
“I do not mean to suggest she was unhappy before, but I have seen her looking around with wonder, as if her whole world has opened up. She has a sister and friends, new relations, a great deal of activity, and even a nemesis to take delight in vexing. I believe she is sensible of also having an admirer, but I hope she does not rush into anything before she has had her share of enjoyment.”
Thomas was inclined to agree, but he feared Fanny might also apply the same thinking to herself. “I suppose Highbury is a place of such perpetual felicity that a young lady might be loath to leave it.”
“It may be the right path, if the timing is favorable,” Fanny said before sipping her tea.
“I hope she will consider carefully. I think she should be very happy indeed with an intelligent man of fortune and good humor, I shall not deny that, but she must be sure it will make her happier than what she might leave behind. She has only just gotten her sister back, and Pemberley is so terribly far away!”
Until this last lamentation, Thomas was sure Fanny was speaking of her own situation; he breathed a sigh of relief. “I suppose it is not quite as far from Meryton as from Highbury.”
Fanny’s lips twisted into a pert smile. “Your comprehension of geography is a marvel, sir.”
He barked out a laugh. “You sounded exactly like Lizzy.”
“I have been listening to her – she is so sharp! I think Mr. Darcy sees that for the treasure it is, her clever way of laughing at everyone. I should imagine it will be hard for you to part with her, but I hope it will be a comfort to you that he truly appreciates her. And she is so smitten! The way she looks at him….” Fanny smirked, but there was something soft in her gaze.
“Does it not make you a little sad, Thomas, that Miss Bingley does not look at you in such a way?”
“You break my heart, Fanny. Of course, it is hardly a love match, but I cannot let that fool Collins inherit Longbourn, and I should like another child. Lizzy has been the great joy of my life, and I would happily do it all again. Besides, Lizzy’s trip to Weymouth taught me to fear she may wish to leave me someday – I had thought Lady Gresham meant to play matchmaker for her.
I was lonely without Lizzy in London, and when I met Miss Bingley, she was so determined to please me that I thought she might make a tolerable companion for my future life. ”
“But why did you not choose someone more… agreeable?”
He gave a rueful laugh and shook his head. “After ten years with Lady Amelia, I suppose there is something about Caroline that feels familiar, if not pleasant. Such a union as that is all I have known.”
She laid her hand on his. “You cannot deny that you have known love, Thomas.”
“And thus I have known the pain of rejection. I suppose it will be nothing to me if Caroline keeps to herself at Netherfield and never joins me in my library, despite her assurances that she is enamored of books.”
Thomas slowly wrapped his hand around hers, giving it a brief squeeze before releasing it. “I see all these young people courting and hardly know if I can still be that young lover I once was. Surely you must know what I mean.”
“No, sir, I do not,” she said softly. “My life has been less altered than your own. I have lived a quiet and happy life, but when Jane is away, I feel much as I ever did, twenty years ago.”
Thomas’s stomach turned over. Panic and relief both gripped him, and for a moment he only stared at Fanny, wondering what she could mean.
She smiled sadly. “I am sorry for what your father did to you. Perhaps I should not say so, but I was happy for you when I heard of his passing, even before I knew how truly terrible he treated you.”
“He used us both ill,” Thomas said. “I am sorry for Edward, for your sake, though I believe he also used us ill.”
Fanny gave a sad nod of her head. “I know that now. He meant well, and I believe he later regretted his actions. He asked Lady Gresham to arrange for the girls to meet, and that was a great kindness. And he bought us this cottage, though I have wondered how much of his generosity was guilt.”
“Ten years ago, you told me you could never be mistress of the house paid for with my late wife’s fortune, and yet you live in the cottage paid for by your brother, who did you such mischief. You would not even allow me to support Jane after Edward left her a great sum.”
“I suppose we have had our lapses in judgement,” Fanny said, shifting anxiously on the sofa beside him. “Yours may be yet amended.”
“So, too, might yours be.” He had been as direct as he could manage at such a moment, and Thomas feared saying any more until he knew that she wished to hear it.
He stood and thanked her for her counsel.
“I believe you are right about Mr. Darcy. Perhaps I might find some way to reconcile myself to parting with Lizzy, but I intend to be quite sure that he deserves her.”
“Yes; he must have an excellent library, for when you are often visiting, I daresay.” Fanny gave a breathy laugh and stood to bid him good day. “I hope you will think of your own happiness, and not just our dear girl.”
Thomas bowed, wishing as much to take her in his arms as to run out of the house as fast as he could. He turned back as he left the room, watching her lift his flowers to her face to smell them, and let out a sigh of contentment as he left the cottage. For now, this must be enough.