Chapter Seventeen #2
“You confirmed the existence of bedrooms and then started to ask a question, so the answer’s yes.” Cosima brushed her hand down Edie’s arm. “I want to. But also, I want whatever you want to happen. I don’t know how to explain it, but that’s how it works for me.”
Edie traced a finger along every one of Cosima’s fingers on Edie’s thigh.
She tried to steady her heart. She focused on Edie’s expressive face, her pretty eyes, the cleavage that had revealed itself in their kissing and touching.
“I want this, too,” Edie said. “So much. But I’m afraid of what I’m always afraid of. That I want the wrong thing. That I’ve set myself up for disappointment. I worry about getting into my head. I worry about getting out of my head and becoming someone’s weird sex story at the bar.” Edie frowned.
“Have any of those things happened? In France? In the inn’s kitchen? Right now?”
“No. God. I haven’t … it’s never been like it is with you. And I never thought I’d even say something like that out loud, because I would’ve thought it was corny. But it’s so true. Everything feels good. Everything is what I want.”
Cosima moved herself closer. “Do you want to go down the hall and into my bedroom?” The question sent heat over Cosima’s skin. It made her middle disappear. Her mouth needed Edie’s mouth.
“Yes.” Edie pulled in a breath that hollowed out her throat. “What if I told you what else I wanted?”
Cosima closed her eyes, happiness flooding into her system like hot sun. “Tell me.” She wanted to laugh, she was so excited. “Do you want to go to the screening room and watch a movie?”
Edie kissed her. She would never get over how good that felt. “No.”
“We could find something to eat. I told the staff you were vegan, and they said something about vegan tapas.” She put her tongue in Edie’s ear, which was burning hot and made her more desperately horny than she already was.
“I’m not hungry.” Edie’s hands slipped into her open dress to grip her waist. She ran her thumbs over Cosima’s navel, making her wet.
Cosima smiled. “I ordered some things that I brought with me that could give us some ideas.”
Edie let go of Cosima’s bottom lip, which she had just sucked between her teeth, and sat back. “Excuse me? Roll that one back.”
Cosima put both her hands over her mouth, feeling her blush in her hairline, but that was mostly due to her excitement. “Do you want to see?”
“You, in the period between hitting the brakes in France and getting on a plane to Barcelona, ‘ordered a few things’”—Edie made air quotes, adorable—“for us? To bring on this trip? Adult items, to be clear.”
“I would love to show them to you. I’ve never thought I was interested in the creative kinds of things people get up to, but lately I’ve found out that if it’s you and me in a depraved setting, my imagination is absolutely unfettered.”
“I want to see what you’ve got. You’re good at shopping.”
Cosima scooted out of the deep sofa and turned around and pulled Edie up. Her dress was falling open. Edie’s sweatshirt slipped lower off her shoulder. Cosima ran to the foyer and grabbed her wheelie, then ran back with it, took Edie’s hand, and pulled her toward the hallway to her room.
She wanted to tell her that she loved her. It turned everything on high instead of her body. Maybe she would say it, but first she would at least show Edie the toys she’d ordered in her room at the inn in the middle of the night, yearning for Edie down the hall.
She opened the door to her room, which smelled like lilacs and glowed blue from its close-up view of the pool.
“Fuck me, Cosima. You weren’t kidding. The whole room is bed.”
With a coy look over her shoulder, she let her dress fall the rest of the way off, leaving her in only her black tights and a black wisp of a bra. “What do you want now?”
Edie closed her eyes. “I want to get my jeans off. Crawl into this bed with you. See what you have in your suitcase with the fancy logos all over it.”
“Can I help with the jeans part?” Cosima bit her finger, looking at Edie’s tight jeans.
She laughed. “Yes.”
“Sit on the bed.”
Edie sat, and Cosima immediately kneeled in front of her. Edie put a hand through Cosima’s hair. She pulled off Edie’s socks, delighted with the red polish on her toes. She grabbed her foot and kissed the arch.
“Whoa,” Edie choked. “I’ve had those socks on all day.”
Cosima stuck her tongue out at Edie. “I don’t care. I’ve had a lot of thoughts about your toes in my mouth.”
“Okay, fuck.” Edie wiggled restlessly. “God help me.”
Cosima laughed and held her foot for another moment, watching Edie watch her before she licked between Edie’s toes, making Edie bite her bottom lip and turning herself on more than she thought possible.
“Lay back.” Cosima ran her hands up Edie’s legs as she laid back, and then she made short work of Edie’s button and zipper, fisting the waistband and peeling the denim down.
Her small white bikini panties had little hearts on them.
They started to come along for the ride, and Cosima pulled slower.
She watched the panties start to roll off with the jeans, exposing Edie’s bare hips and a few curls of dark hair below the freckled swell of her belly.
Edie had navel jewelry that centered a polished tigereye in her belly button, a bright gold bead pierced through the rim.
Once Cosima got the waistband of the jeans to her thighs, the panties stayed where they were, half-off, half-on, and there was something so painfully erotic about that—how it looked, how it must feel for Edie, her bare skin on the duvet, her panties cutting into her hips—that Cosima had to rest her cheek against Edie’s knee as she got the jeans the rest of the way off.
She was throbbing and breathless. She wanted to touch herself, or to touch Edie. “Whatcha doing?” Edie asked.
Cosima rubbed her nose against the soft skin of her inner knee. “Give me a minute.”
“For?”
“I don’t want to burst into flames before we’re even both on the bed.”
“That will be hard, because I’m already smoking up here.”
Cosima kissed Edie’s knee, tasting her soft skin, making Edie’s legs rub against the duvet.
She liked that. She liked seeing Edie’s reactions to everything she did and knowing that Edie would tell her what she felt, what she thought, because she always did.
Cosima stood up, a little sad to be leaving behind such an interesting position until she saw what Edie looked like laid out on the mattress, her hair everywhere, her sweatshirt up under her breasts, her panties pulled halfway down. “Oh.”
“Oh?”
Cosima climbed up, and Edie slid back so they were both fully on the bed, Cosima over her on her forearms. “Oh, as in horny awe at how you look.”
Edie kissed her slow, soft, wet, and it was just right for turning everything up, but slow enough Cosima felt like she could enjoy the ride and notice everything.
Like how, when Edie’s leg hitched over hers to get closer, to kiss deeper, Cosima felt the precariousness of those panties at the same time she felt Edie’s hand toy with the waistband of her tights, and then they were trying to kiss and to get her tights off at the same time.
They managed. Edie kissed her neck while running her finger under the back of her thong, and it didn’t take much of that before Cosima had her hands up under Edie’s sweatshirt and was fondling her breasts over what felt like a thin, tight camisole.
“What next?” Cosima panted, taking luxurious handfuls of Edie’s breasts, already riding her thigh.
Edie rolled away a little, pulling her legs up, and ran her hands over her scalp looking at Cosima. “If there’s more, I won’t survive it.”
“So you don’t want to see what I bought?” Cosima got close to Edie again, kissed her mouth, kissed her cleavage, kissed the tigereye centered in her navel, making her jump, so she experimented and kissed a bit lower than that, breathing Edie in.
Edie went still, her thighs pressed together, but then she relaxed. Cosima looked up at Edie from between her legs. “Okay?”
“It’s so, so okay. It’s … the number-one thing I think about.”
“When you touch yourself. The number-one thing you think about is getting eaten out.” Cosima studied Edie’s face. Stroked down Edie’s thighs.
“Yeah.”
“But.”
“But it’s also the number-one thing in real life that’s sent me straight to overthinking.
So then I switch gears and focus on the other person, and sometimes they seem relieved they don’t have to, and my worry feelings and overthinking build, and sometimes I feel like I’ve rejected them, but I don’t know what to say or do to make it better. ”
Cosima had thought about it, too. She’d thought about her tongue licking through Edie, everything as soft and wet as she was herself.
She’d thought about putting her own slick fingers in her mouth, wondering how Edie tasted.
But in all of her fantasies, she’d also imagined Edie begging for Cosima to eat her.
She’d thought of how Edie would say her name, or say please, princess.
“So maybe for now we set that aside,” Cosima said, kissing Edie’s soft stomach. “You should know that I would like nothing more than for you to come against my face.”
Edie put her head back on the bed and laughed. “God, Cosima. Where did you come from?”
“A castle.” Cosima smiled, then slid to the edge of her bed, grabbed her suitcase, and unzipped the top enough to rummage around and find the two cloth bags she’d packed.
She pulled them out. They were bright pink with the name of a London adult toy store printed on them.
She got herself back to Edie, kissing her and putting the bags between them.
She started to grab one, and then Edie put her hand over the opening.