Chapter 3
Dear Lord Ashford,
I write first to express once more my sincere regret over the situation which you raised with me at Lord Denham’s gathering last week. Any damage to you and your family was most unconsciously done, and I am heartily sorry.
Second, I would like to make recompense. You said your sister, Bea, has lost her painting tutor. I would like to find her a new one. Despite evidence to the contrary, I am classically trained in watercolors and drawing and know many art tutors in London.
With contrition,
Lady Matilda Halifax
12 September 1821
Dear Lady Matilda,
Bea is an oil painter. There is one female oil painter in England willing to travel to my estate in Northumberland to tutor her.
Was, I should say. There was one female oil painter willing to live with us in Bamburgh. Now there are none.
Your contrition is unnecessary, as are your efforts.
A
12 September 1821
Dear Lord Ashford,
Oil painting! Marvelous. As it happens, after Margo and I were sent down from finishing school—please do not ask—I took a great interest in oil painting myself.
I can recommend an excellent tutor for your sister.
He was willing to teach a seventeen-year-old Halifax Hellion; I am certain your reputation will pose no problem.
Only he is afflicted by rheumatism and not able to travel long distances—can he attend your sister at your townhouse in London?
I have ignored your final sentence, as you can plainly see. I feel in part responsible for what has befallen you and your sister. I can help you, if you will permit it.
Matilda Halifax
13 September 1821
Lady Matilda,
Beatrice will not travel to London.
If you have listened to anything in your life, listen to this: stop helping.
A
13 September 1821
Dear Lord Ashford,
This is perfectly ridiculous. Whyever would you not allow your sister to live in London?
I assure you, despite the presence of Margo and myself in this city, your sister will not be instantly overcome by licentiousness and debauchery.
It is perfectly respectable for your sister to reside in London with a chaperone and be attended by an art tutor.
I could recommend a chaperone as well, but I suppose my endorsement in that quarter would hold little weight.
I will stop trying to help when you stop creating unnecessary obstacles in the way of your sister’s happiness.
Matilda Halifax
13 September 1821
Lady Matilda,
I am not a goddamned prison warden
Surely you must realize
You are driving me
14 September 1821
Dear Lady Matilda,
Bea will not come to London because she chooses not to.
A
18 September 1821
Dear Lord Ashford,
I see. I apologize for my misapprehension. Had you explained yourself in more than six words, perhaps I would have understood more immediately. But I will not quibble.
I have taken it upon myself these last days to put my connections in London’s art circles to use.
Unfortunately, I have determined that you are correct. There are no female oil painters willing to reside with your family in Northumberland. (In fairness, there are very few professional female oil painters!)
Would Beatrice be open to a male painting tutor?
I am thinking of one in particular—a very charming and open-minded young Scot between exhibits at the moment.
I have spoken briefly to him—without revealing either your name or your sister’s!
—and suspect he would be open to filling the position at least until March.
And in March, Bea will debut, will she not?
In friendship,
Matilda Halifax
19 September 1821
Lady Matilda,
Bea is shy. She is sensitive. She would sooner cast herself into the sea than show her paintings to a charming young Scot.
Not everyone is willing to publish their drawings of pricks, for Christ’s sake!
A
19 September 1821
Dear Lady Matilda,
I beg your pardon. My note this morning was inappropriate. I cannot say what came over me. It would ease my mind if you would throw it in the fireplace.
Christian de Bord, Lord Ashford
19 September 1821
Dear Lord Ashford,
I will promise to burn your note if you agree to meet with me. I believe I have devised a solution to your difficulties, but I would like to speak to you about it in person.
I have enclosed for your perusal some botanical illustrations I completed last year for an educational guide to the natural history of the Pennines. I assure you, I do have other interests.
Matilda Halifax
20 September 1821
Dear Lady Matilda,
I did not presume to suggest that you only draw
For God’s sake
20 September 1821
Lady Matilda,
This isn’t a negotiation. Keep the damned note if it means so much to you. No. I will not meet with you.
A
21 September 1821
Dear Lord Ashford,
In two weeks of correspondence, I have learned several facts about you.
One, your Christian name is, in fact, Christian. (Did your parents find this amusing, I wonder?)
Two, your prose style leaves a great deal to be desired. (If I cannot make you acquainted with an art tutor for your sister, may I at least introduce you to punctuation beyond the humble full stop?)
And three, you are the most obstinate man I have ever encountered.
I have enclosed for you a picture of a man with the head of a pig. I leave you to wonder at its significance.
MH
22 September 1821
Dear Lady Matilda,
I need not wonder at the symbolism of your image. I recognize my buttocks. You’ve got the constellation upside down.
A
23 September 1821
Dear Lord Ashford,
Was that a jest?! Now this note I shall have to keep.
Matilda
23 September 1821
Dear Lady Matilda,
Surely even you can agree that two punctuation marks at the end of a sentence is one too many.
Can I take your previous message to mean you did not keep the other letter? Truly, I would prefer if you would burn it. I have no desire to see my lapse in judgment printed in the morning papers. I’ve seen my name therein more than enough.
A
26 September 1821
Dear Lord Ashford,
At your request, I have disposed of all your notes.
I would not sell your letter to the gossip rags.
You have no reason to believe me, I know. But I did not mean to associate my scandalous drawings with you. I have acted the fool plenty since my debut seven years ago, but I have tried very hard to ensure that no one else is hurt because of me.
I have attempted to keep the consequences of my actions restricted to myself alone. I have not always been successful, but I have tried.
Matilda Halifax
27 September 1821
Dear Lady Matilda,
Thank you for destroying the letter.
Twelve years ago, I made a series of grievous personal errors. Many have paid for my mistakes, including Bea, who was six years old at the time. The consequences of our actions spread like ripples in a pond. They cannot be stopped, no matter how good our intentions or how hard we try.
What I mean to say is, I understand.
I think I preferred your insults directed toward my style of correspondence.
Christian de Bord, Lord Ashford
28 September 1821
Dear Lord Ashford,
I would like to meet. Can we meet? I must speak with you.
Matilda
28 September 1821
Lady Matilda,
Respectfully, no.
A
28 September 1821
Dear Lord Ashford,
You are the most infuriating person I have ever met. Fine. To hell with propriety. I will be in St. James’s Park at half-past midnight this evening. The corner near Westminster Abbey.
Come or do not come, as you like.
You are not actually Beelzebub, you know, despite what the gossip rags say. You will not catch fire if you accept someone’s offer of help.
Matilda Halifax