Chapter Five
For the first time in my 442 years, I dreaded the coming of dawn. I lay wrapped up tightly in Rune's arms, his even breathing taunting me. I hadn't slept all night. Mostly because we spent it making—no, we spent it having sex. That's all it was. Sex. And why did that thought make my chest ache? I looked down at his corded forearm, sprinkled with golden hair, and felt oddly at peace and anxious at the same time. If Rune hadn't been a Cerberus, I would have kept him for as long as possible. Maybe even lied to him about Hermes. Made an excuse when he came to visit. I would have held on.
But he knew. I thought that was freeing. Now, I realized it was a trap. Take things as they come? Enjoy ourselves for one night? Sure, it sounded good at the time. But now that night was over, light seeping around my velvet curtains, and my heart was heavy. I shouldn't have brought Rune home. If I hadn't, I would never have known what it was like to hold him. To feel him move inside me. To see him above me. Below me. And I wouldn't be feeling this now. What was I feeling?
“Why are you awake?” Rune murmured.
I schooled my features and looked over my shoulder at him. “There's a stranger in my bed. That makes it hard for me to sleep.”
“A stranger?” He chuckled softly. Knowingly. “Hardly. We know each other very well.”
I made a soft sound of amusement. “And yet, I can't sleep.”
He stayed silent for a second, then slowly unwound from me and rolled onto his back. “I don't want to go.”
The words sent a thrill through me. Would he stay? Could Rune be the one who would love me despite my situation? Could we find a way to—
“But I should.” Rune groaned and sat up.
My hopes plummeted. “Do you want some coffee before you go?”
“I think that would be awkward.” He slid his feet onto the floor and groaned. He looked like a painting sitting there, framed by the bed's opening. “Damn. I could use about ten hours of sleep. You wore me out.”
I steeled myself and sat up. Why the hell did I feel like crying? This was ridiculous. “I believe you were the one who kept rising to the occasion.”
Rune chuckled and stood. I watched him pick up his boxers and slip them on. He headed out of the bedroom and down the hallway. I heard the bathroom door shut.
“Fuck,” I whispered. “Get it together.” I crawled out of bed and left the room as well, going to my dressing room—the room between the bedroom and bathroom.
One of the benefits of owning an entire building and living in it alone was an abundance of space. I had an entire room for my clothing. Sure, a lot of people do that these days, but it was a special luxury when you lived downtown in a major city. And boy was my dressing room luxurious.
When I was mortal, I loved adorning my garments. My artistic nature came through the paint, bones, and horsehair. After Hermes made me immortal and we traveled the world together, my creativity expanded. But as far as clothing went, I didn't have to decorate or even sew my garments. Hermes dressed me as if I were a living doll, taking great delight in buying me the best clothing from everywhere we visited. He especially loved seeing the reactions of humans to our exotic appearances.
Then the world changed. Travel became easier. Land was “discovered.” In a way, things became harder for me. Hermes protected me, but there was a time when I endured a lot of prejudice. Racism still runs rampant today, but it's easier to deal with now. Don't think for a second that I'm making light of it. I'm not. But compared to the past, things have gotten better. People generally don't hurl objects and insults at you just because your skin is a different color from theirs. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it doesn't happen as much as it used to. They also don't form mobs to kill you. Again, not saying it doesn't ever happen, but not as commonly. People are more open-minded these days. They're trying to be enlightened. Of course, hatred never dies. Bad things still happen. Sometimes, even the “enlightened” are the ones who instigate the bad things. But overall, this age keeps getting better and better. People are reaching for kindness now. Searching for happiness. The human spirit is shining. I have hope that things will continue to improve.
But back to the clothes.
I ran my hand over a rack of clothes as I passed it, but the feeling of fine fabric and the clink of hangers didn't delight me as usual. Frowning, I went to a dresser and opened a drawer. The neat lines of folded silk and cotton undergarments, imported from Europe, normally made me smile. Not today. I chose a set and pulled them on without enjoying the slide of silk.
Footsteps came from the corridor. I headed for the door to let Rune know where I was. But he already knew. I stopped in surprise when he walked into the dressing room. He must have heard me in there. Those hound senses of his were impressive.
“Hey.” He leaned against the doorframe.
“Hey.” I turned and went to a rack. It was getting hard to look at him.
“Lora,” Rune's voice was soft, deep, and too damn sexy.
“Yes?” I chose a simple black dress. Something casual. I had to go to work in a few hours, but I needed to shower first. I could get into work clothes later.
“Lora.” His hands slid over my bare shoulders, and I shuddered.
“Rune, can you do me a favor and leave?”
His grip tightened.
“I'm sorry. I don't mean that to sound harsh.” I kept my stare on the dress in my hands. “But I like you more than I should. If you don't go now, I'm going to ask you to stay. And we both know that wouldn't be good for us.”
Rune was silent and still. His hands remained locked on my shoulders but didn't even twitch. Finally, they slid away, down my back, trailing over my skin before finally withdrawing. I heard him leave the room. I waited, clutching the dress. A few minutes later, I heard his boots on the stairs. Only then did I crumble to the floor and give in to my tears.
He hadn't said goodbye.