Chapter Thirty-Four
The magic deposited us on the deck of a ship. I gasped in the salt air and flailed away from Hermes. He let me go and watched me stumble without giving aid. I grabbed the railing and steadied myself. Looked around. We were in the middle of an ocean. Which one, I had no idea of knowing, but there wasn't any land in sight. Only blue. Blue as far as I could see.
There were a few men about, but they weren't fazed by our sudden appearance. They just went back to work, their white uniforms telling me they were members of the staff. Hermes always had a staff to take care of the shit he didn't want to do.
“Where have you taken me?” I demanded.
Hermes grabbed my wrist and yanked me down the deck to a rounded door.
“Hermes!” I yanked on his grip. It was like pulling on handcuffs.
His expression was hard, right on the edge of becoming fury. And an enraged Hermes was never good.
“You don't even want me anymore,” I said. “Why do you care about this? I'm not saying I don't ever want to see you again. I just don't—”
“Silence!” Hermes shouted.
It echoed in the metal corridor, making my ears ring.
He continued to pull me along, taking a few turns before coming to a glossy white door. Hermes opened the door, shoved me inside, and slammed the door shut. Panting in fear, I stared at the closed door. I didn't dare try to open it, not with him in that state. I knew Hermes well, so I knew he had left me to go somewhere and cool down. That was a good thing. He didn't want to hurt me. When he returned, he'd be more reasonable. Rational.
All I had to do was wait.
I looked around the luxurious cabin, finding a large bed, a dining set, a built-in dresser, and a balcony. It was a beautiful room if you didn't mind how everything was done in that sleek, private yacht way, all smooth edges, polished wood, and secured in place. All except the two chairs at the dining table. Hold on.
There was a balcony!
I hurried to the glass door and opened it. The balcony was large, especially for a ship, and had a lounger as well as another table and two chairs. I stepped out and went to the railing. Peering up showed me another level of the yacht. There were a few more balconies, but none within reach of mine. Below was a view of a smooth hull and then water. My shoulders fell.
I don't know what I expected to do. Even if I had climbed to another balcony and gotten free rein of the ship, I couldn't escape Hermes. He would find me anywhere in the world. This needed to be dealt with not run away from.
I sighed and sat down at the table. There was a gentle breeze, scented with salt. I breathed in deeply and tried to calm myself. My men would be terrified for me. But there was nothing I could do about that. I didn't have my purse with me, so I didn't have my cellphone. All I could do was hope that Hermes returned soon and we'd be able to work—
The cabin door slammed open.
I stood up and hurried back into the room. Hermes shut the door behind him. He didn't look calm. In fact, he looked even angrier than before. Fear lanced through me. This god held my life in his hands. He could kill me and toss my body overboard. He might even be able to remove the immortality he had given me and just watch me wither into a corpse.
But he didn't attack me. Instead, he started to undress.
My heart plummeted into a pit of acid.
Hermes strode to the bed, discarding clothes along the way. I didn't move. And I didn't lower my gaze. I just held his stare as he stripped. I didn't have to look to know his body was divine. Magnificent. Unlike any other body on Earth. His skin would be pale but with a touch of bronze and rose. It would stretch over perfect muscles and a firm, plump ass. The dark curls between his legs would be the perfect contrast to show off that proud piece of manhood. His cock would be without blemish, blushing pink at the tip. His thighs, sleek but muscular. Even the man's feet were pretty.
I could have painted him without looking.
“Come here,” Hermes said.
I went to stand before him.
“Take off your clothes.”
“Hermes, please.”
“Take off your clothes!”
I undressed, hands shaking. Only when I stood nude before him did he calm a little and take a deep breath. His hands reached out. I tried not to shudder when they cupped my breasts. And I don't mean in desire. Revulsion was rising. I had never felt this way with him before, not even the first time that he returned to me after breaking my heart. I had welcomed him then, relieved that he had come back, even hoping that his absence had shown him that he didn't want to be parted from me. But he had left again.
His hands slid over my body possessively, and I realized that it was exactly how he felt about me. I was his possession. He didn't mind other men playing with me, but he'd never give me away. I closed my eyes when he pinched my nipples hard. I would survive this. I had done this thousands of times before. But this time, I didn't want to. This time, when his hand delved between my legs, I was dry.
Hermes growled and jerked his hand back. He sat down on the end of the bed and spread his legs as he looked at me. I could tell that he was trying to calm his anger, and that helped. I tried to shove down my revulsion and remember that this man had saved my life many times. He may consider me to be his property, but he also cared about me. In his heart, Hermes didn't want me to suffer. So, maybe if I showed him that I was still his, he'd let me go. I knew it was insane, but it was my only shot.
Holding his stare, I went to my knees and laid my hands on his thighs. “I will always love you, Hermes,” I said softly. “You know you are the most glorious man I've ever met.”
Hermes instantly calmed. He let out a long sigh and stroked my hair. “I love you too, Lomasi. No matter how far I wander, I will always return to you. You are my first love.”
I went still. He had never said that to me before. I was his first love? Dear Gods, that made this so much harder. No wonder he kept coming back. They say you never forget your first.
“You know you hurt me every time you leave,” I said.
His lips tightened, and he looked away.
“You broke my heart, Hermes. So many times.”
“Lomasi,” Hermes whispered, his tone wounded. “I'm so sorry. I can't help myself. I need to wander.”
“Yes, and I understood that until you stopped taking me with you.”
“I mean, I need to wander away from you, sweetheart. Only when we're apart does the ache for you return. Then I can go back to you and feel like I did in the beginning. It's the way I keep our love alive.”
I blinked and leaned back. “You never told me that.”
“I thought you knew. You were so welcoming every time I returned.” He shook his head. “And I thought I was gracious, never showing you my hurt when I saw you with your lovers. It was only fair that you be allowed to wander too. But I wept for you, Lomasi. Every time.”
“What?” I whispered.
Hermes reached out and cupped my cheek. “I'm sorry I broke your heart. I'm sorry my heart is so strange. But I love you. I have never stopped loving you, my beautiful flower.”
“Hermes,” I whispered as a tear flowed down my cheek. “It's too late. I love—”
He put his hand over my mouth. “Don't say it. I can't hear that now.”
“But you must. Because you're hurting me again.”
“No,” he growled. “You owe me a chance, Lomasi. You owe me this!”
“What chance?”
“A chance to win you back.”
He lifted me to straddle his lap, my knees going to either side of him on the bed. His cock speared at my sex, then slid up to nestle against my belly. A tingle of lust shivered down my spine. I didn't want to feel aroused by Hermes. It felt like a betrayal of my men. But I also knew it would be far easier on me if I enjoyed what happened next instead of fighting it.
“Make love with me,” Hermes said. “Let me remind you of what we have.”
“And if I still want them afterward?”
His face twitched.
“Hermes, I know you don't want to force me.”
“Fuck,” he growled and pushed me off his lap, onto the bed. He speared his hands through his hair. “Fuck!”
“Hermes.” I knelt behind him and hugged him. “You have so many others now. I know you do. I have no one. No man has been willing to stay after learning about you. Please, give me this. Let's move on.”
“I can't,” he whispered.
If there had been no one else, Hermes would have wound me around his heart again. I would have given in. But there was someone else. Three of them.
“Then you don't really love me,” I said.
Hermes went rigid. “I don't love you? You dare to question what I feel for you?!”
I had made a mistake, pushed too far. I knew it when Hermes spun toward me, his expression enraged. I cried out as he shoved me down, his body pinning mine to the bed. His hips split my thighs and his cock sought entrance. But I kept my pelvis angled down, making it difficult for him.
“Stop!” I shouted and pushed at him. “Hermes, I don't want this. Stop! I'm saying no!”
Hermes roared—a broken sound of anguish and frustration. He pounded the bed to either side of me. “I am Hermes! The god who made you immortal! The man who has loved you for centuries. Once you give yourself to a god, it's final. You belong to me, Lomasi. You cannot deny me.”
I let out a long breath, my muscles going limp. “All right, Hermes. Do it. I won't fight you. But I won't make love to you either. Because it is not that for me anymore.”
He grabbed my hips and angled me up to receive him. I hardened myself. Prepared for whatever trauma this would heap on me. It was just sex. I would be fine. But when the tip of him split me and started to enter, I saw Rune's face. I felt his touch. Then Braxen came to me. And Merrick.
I began to cry.
Hermes jerked back, cool air suddenly hitting my flushed skin. I opened my eyes, only realizing then that I had squeezed them shut. Hermes stood at the foot of the bed, his cock still reaching for me, but his expression horrified. He stared at my sprawled body as a wounded sound came from him. Then he spun and fled the room, leaving his clothes behind.
I brushed away my tears and sat up to stare at the door. My racing heart slowed down and hope started to bloom. But I poisoned the flower of hope before it could fully open. Hermes may not want to rape me, but he didn't want to release me either. Possessions could be kept on a shelf, giving their owners pleasure by their mere presence. I had a feeling that I was about to be put on a shelf, untouched forever.