Chapter 15 #2
I turned him toward the wall and pinned him against it, pressing my leg between his. My vision was blurring as the wolf peeked through, and Bowen’s arousal only seemed to bloom. I leaned my head into the crook of his neck, trying to catch my breath before I got too carried away.
“Rudy, tell me what you need,” Bowen whispered into my ear, his hand still stroking lightly through my hair.
“Need you,” I growled out.
Bowen’s tongue flicked over the rim of my ear, making my body feel like it would catch fire. “Then have me. We can talk later.”
It took all my strength to keep from stripping him down right there in the hallway. There was no way I would make it to the basement, not now. “Can’t make it.”
“Can’t make it where?” He asked.
“Basement,” I huffed out.
Bowen chuckled. “It’s a good thing I have a room right here, and look at that… it has a door.”
I slid my glance at the door I’d just repaired. Tempting, so tempting, but I didn’t know how much I’d be able to control or what would happen. I’d never allowed myself to get this close to what I hoped might be happening.
Shaking my head, I bit out, “No. Might break.”
“The bed?” Bowen barked out a laugh. “Sounds like a challenge. Besides, if it breaks, I have an in with the handyman.”
He pushed against my chest, and I allowed him to move me back so he could open the door to his room. The room that already smelled like him. Fuck, this was going to kill me. When I didn’t follow him in, Bowen grabbed the front of my loose shirt and pulled me inside, shutting the door behind us.
My hands were clenched into fists, preparing for my claws to break through, except…
I didn’t feel them pushing beneath my skin as I expected.
Nor did I feel the stretch of my jaw or the elongation of my teeth.
I could feel the want from within, the need, the hunger my wolf had for this man, but there was a strange sense of surrender.
It wasn’t that he was giving up, but assessing the situation.
We both wanted the same thing, and in this instance…
I was the best fit, not my wolf. The day before, I had known without any doubt that my shifted form was the best chance to protect Bowen, and now, I could feel him giving me this moment.
He wasn’t going to fight me on it. Another piece mending together.
“Ha!” I laughed, drawing Bowen’s questioning gaze. “Sorry, I’m sort of having a… what’s the opposite of a crisis?”
Bowen stepped in front of me and lifted his head to meet my gaze.
His brown eyes searched mine as if he were reading me.
Could he see the way my eyes blurred at the edges but remained fully mine?
Could he feel the wolf’s strength and resolve within me, while allowing me to stay in control?
Could he sense that I felt whole, glued and mended, one cohesive unit?
With a sweet smile, he brushed his knuckles against my cheek. “Clarity?”
Clarity. That was what I felt. Clarity of mind, of soul, of body. “Yes, exactly.”
Bowen gave me a smirk and shrugged. “Turns out interpreting words and languages is kind of my thing.”
Gods, he was so fucking cute. It was I this time who bent down and kissed him.
The first I’d initiated. Bowen wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me closer, deepening our kiss.
His tongue danced with mine, and I felt him hum in the back of his throat.
A sound that was met by my own much louder one.
Okay… the wolf was still with me, but I was steering the ship.
Bowen’s hands lowered from my neck, over my back, finding the bottom edge of my shirt.
When his hands slid beneath the material, brushing against my bare skin, I sucked in a sharp breath.
Fuck, his touch on my skin felt incredible, but I didn’t really know what to do next.
Steering the ship didn’t mean I knew where I was going in this uncharted territory.
Bowen broke the kiss and looked up at me. “Can we get this out of the way? I think it’s only fair since you got to see me in my underwear yesterday and I’ve only had a peek at what’s beneath all these baggy clothes.”
My head bobbed wordlessly, and I froze in place.
Bowen gingerly slid my shirt up, pulling it over my head, and tossed it over his shoulder.
His eyes lowered, taking me in, and his arousal perfumed out of him.
He lifted a hand and traced it over my hard pecs, singeing my skin beneath his touch.
His fingers scratched through the black chest hair, and he bit his lip.
With the memory and taste of him from this morning, I wished I were the one doing the biting, but I stayed in place as he continued his perusal.
“Holy hell, Rudy. I knew you were built—I could feel you when you held me—but damn! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a body like this in person, let alone get to touch it.”
I shrugged even as my cheeks flared with heat, and I had to force myself to stand still.
Well, it wasn’t such a difficult thing when it meant his eyes and hands trailed over me, and his desire bloomed between us.
“I’ve torn through a lot of clothes when I shifted unexpectedly, so it became easier to wear loose clothing that can accommodate the size change. ”
Bowen gave me a sweet look and placed his hand over my heart. “I get it. And I want you to know, it wouldn’t have mattered what you had going on under your clothes. I’m not here because of your body, although… I’m not going to lie, it’s a nice perk.”
He pushed up onto his toes and kissed me again. While his mouth moved against mine, his hand followed the trail of hair down my stomach, stopping at the top of my waistband, making my breath hitch.
“Rudy.” I felt my name like a soft caress in the back of my mind. It definitely hadn’t been spoken out loud, not with the way his tongue was probing deeper into my mouth. I gasped and pulled back.
“What?”
Bowen grinned, looking rather pleased with himself. “Surprise!”
“You were in my head.” It wasn’t a question, but an acknowledgment. I felt it; I heard it. Just like earlier, when I was alone. “Did you do that before?”
“Yes! I wasn’t sure if it worked, but it did, right?” His brown eyes gleamed behind his glasses.
I nodded. “Yeah, I thought I was losing my mind.” I huffed out a laugh and shook my head as I thought of the awkward phone call with Kieran. Even knowing it was Bowen I’d heard, the call wasn’t pointless. What he told me… it was feeling truer every second.
“Damn, I’m sorry if I made you question yourself. That wasn’t my intent. It’s something Aurelia showed me I could do, but it might take some practice. Do you mind it?”
“Do it again.”
Bowen stared up at me with his mouth closed, as if he were concentrating. I felt that brush in my mind as real as if he were running a finger along my cheek. It was uniquely him, and in this way, it was familiar for something that shouldn’t feel familiar at all. “Take me to bed, Rudy.”
A snarl curled my lip, and I picked him up, cradling his ass as he clung to me with a laugh. I lowered him down carefully and climbed in over him. Leaning down, I pressed my nose to his hair and breathed him in.
“You smell so fucking good.” The words were mine this time, all mine, and I meant them from my very core.
Bowen grinned up at me. “I’m guessing that means you don’t mind then.”
I took his glasses off his face and set them on the table. At the same time, Bowen shimmied his bag off him, dropping it onto the ground and out of our way. “No, because it’s you. I want to feel you every way I can.”
My mouth crashed into his, and I lowered myself onto him, loving the sharp inhale that came from him when our bodies pressed together. His hardness pressed into my belly, and the sensation of it nearly pushed me over the edge right there.
I broke the kiss, resting my forehead against his as I tried to maintain some sort of control.
Not over my wolf this time, but over my own body.
Needing his help, I forced myself to speak honestly because I didn’t know how to do this without him.
“Bowen, I, uh… I haven’t done this before.
I wish I could charge ahead with full confidence, but I’m barely hanging on by a thread. ”
Bowen reached up and brushed my hair away from my face. “It’s okay. It’s just you and me here; that’s all that matters. I promise, there’s nothing you can do that will disappoint me, because it’s you I want, any way I can get you.”
“Even if it’s fast?” I asked, feeling my cheeks heat.
The man beneath me laughed. He laughed and gave me a quick kiss. “Fast doesn’t mean a damn thing.”
My brows arched, missing the joke. Bowen waved it off, but he looked up at me with a look so sweet and so sincere that it made my chest warm. “Why don’t we switch for a minute?”
“Thank the gods,” I huffed out.
Bowen pushed me to the side until I was on my back, leaning against the headboard.
He gave me a quick kiss and a wink before standing.
I watched as he unbuttoned his shirt. My hands clenched at my sides, not from claws that needed to come out, but from the overwhelming need to touch him.
I wished it were my hands getting him out of his clothes. Although it made for a nice view.
He slid his shirt off, revealing his perfect body.
He was smaller than me, with only a spattering of auburn chest hair, but damn, every inch of him was perfect.
And mine. I wasn’t going to be able to keep myself in my seat much longer.
Gods, I hoped he didn’t draw this out to tease me.
When his hands went to the button on his khaki pants, my eyes locked in, unable to look anywhere else.