Chapter 16
Bowen
With Rudy’s head on my chest, and his large body tangled around mine, I felt like I was in the spirit realm, as if it were a place I could ascend to.
The only thing tethering me to this world was the sleeping hulk of a man beside me and the low ache in my neck.
It didn’t hurt; it was more of a thrumming sensation, one that I felt resonate throughout my entire body.
Feeling his mouth lock around my throat had been erotic as hell, even better than I fantasized.
With the first sting as his fangs pierced my skin, my vision whited out, and it was like every synapse in my mind was firing at once, every cell in my body vibrated.
I could sense Rudy inside me, outside of me, all around me, as if he were the only thing that existed beyond myself.
When he touched me, holy shit! With his fangs still rooted in my neck and his hands on me, I couldn’t think; I couldn’t do anything but surrender myself to complete and total pleasure.
Despite a long dry spell, it wasn’t that I was inexperienced, but fucking hell, nothing… nothing had ever come close to what I felt with Rudy. It meant something. Something big. Bigger than I had words for.
Rudy whimpered and huffed as his leg twitched and the arm draped over my chest jerked. My lips pursed as I tried to suppress a laugh at the familiar doggish dreaming. I stroked my hand over Rudy’s hair. “Shh. It’s okay.”
A heavy exhale came from him, and he settled, snuggling closer to me. Damn, I didn’t think I’d ever get over having such a big man melt under my touch or my words. It was endearing as hell.
Satisfaction filled my body, mind, and soul.
Content and at peace, but I couldn’t sleep.
Instead, I allowed myself to be a human pillow, enjoying every moment of Rudy in his completely relaxed state.
From what I knew, I imagined he didn’t allow himself to let go like this.
He’d always had to be so aware of where he was or what he might do, and it must have been exhausting.
With a kiss to the top of his head and my fingers playing in the black strands of his hair, I vowed to do whatever I could to help him—and his werewolf—so he didn’t have to lock himself away ever again, whether physically behind a steel door, or mentally behind his fear.
His wolf… I’d felt him within Rudy and had been able to talk to him. I wondered if I could now. I knew Rudy wasn’t always fully present when he was shifted. Did that mean the wolf wasn’t always fully present when Rudy walked as a man? What about when he slept?
Curiosity had me searching, nudging gently into Rudy’s mind, trying not to disturb him.
Then I felt it, felt his interest, as if he were waiting for me.
A smile stretched my lips, and I knew things could have gone so much differently when we came into my room.
The wolf could have easily broken through, pushing Rudy within, driven by his instincts, but he didn’t.
In a gentle tone, I pushed two words toward him. “Thank you.”
Rudy made a happy hum sound and nuzzled under my chin, and I tightened my arm around him. That itchy sensation in the back of my mind came. I’d felt it earlier with the pink eyes locked onto my neck and the gravelly demand to bite. “Bowen is mate. Ours.”
My smile stretched wide. Ours. It was a simple word, but it felt enormous.
No longer simply “mine,” as he’d been so quick to call me before, but ours.
I belonged to Rudy the man and Rudy the werewolf, both equally.
The change felt like a mix of surrender and acceptance, no small feat for the sweet but tormented man beside me or the beast within him.
Pride and hope warmed my chest, and I wanted him to feel my gratitude.
With another little nudge to the wolf, I said, “That’s my good boy.”
Rudy’s head popped up with eyes open. They were fully pink and glowing. I gave him a smile and scratched behind his ear. He leaned up and licked me from jaw to hairline, tracing the same path the werewolf had that first night on the walking path.
A laugh popped out of me, making Rudy blink hard, his eyes returning to normal. His bleary eyes stared at me as if he were trying to figure out what was happening. He shook his head and pushed himself up to a sitting position.
Rudy scruffed a hand through his hair, making the shaggy black strands disheveled, which somehow made him look even sexier. “Sorry, I must have fallen asleep.”
As I sat up, I gave him a smile. “Don’t be. You needed it.”
He looked around the room with his brows pinched tight. “Were you talking to someone? I thought I heard your voice.”
Unable to resist, I leaned forward and kissed him.
Rudy’s arms immediately went around me and tugged me closer.
Fuck, it felt so good to be chest to chest with him.
With how mind-blowing it had been with him, it was far too tempting to go for a second round, but a lot had happened, and we hadn’t had a chance to talk.
Not about what I’d learned about myself, and not about us, and what this all meant.
Placing a hand on his chest, I gently pushed him back. “You know what I think you should do?”
“What?” A flash of worry appeared, so I offered him a reassuring smile.
“I think you should take me to dinner.”
The worry was gone, and his stomach growled at the suggestion. “Dinner?”
“Yes, like a proper date.”
His lips stretched into a grin, and his eyes gleamed, not glowed. It wasn’t the wolf peeking through; the reaction was his own. “A date. Yeah. That sounds good.”
“We should probably clean up a little first, though.” Rudy’s eyes followed the hand I waved at our bodies, and his cheeks flared that lovely shade of pink at the sight of the dried evidence that remained.
“Shit. Sorry.”
Shaking my head, I said, “No. No more of that. There’s not a damn thing that happened that I didn’t want. Not. A. Damn. Thing.”
I emphasized it because I could feel his worry growing as he slid a glance to my neck. It was so real; it felt as if it were my own. When his eyes met mine again, I could feel his relief as much as I saw the shift in his face. Surreal, but kind of amazing, too.
Climbing out of bed, I held my hand out to him. “Come on, sometimes the cleaning up part can be as much fun as the getting dirty part.”
Rudy let me lead him into the bathroom, where thankfully the shower was plenty roomy. I wondered the first day why it was so big, but now that I knew the types of guests that stayed here, it made sense.
A wet Rudy was a thing of beauty. His dark body hair matted down over his rippling muscles. Woof. Somehow, this man who towered over me made me feel like the beautiful one.
Our shower turned into a frenzy of mouths and hands everywhere.
It was impossible to separate his desires and emotions from mine.
They were tangled together, big, strong, and nearly overwhelming.
I felt dizzy under it all, and it was Rudy who managed to stop us.
We broke apart and stared at each other, both of our chests rising and falling in tandem.
“Dinner?” Rudy asked with his fists clenched tight.
A laugh popped out of me. “Right. Yeah. We should do that.”
We finished the shower quickly, intentionally not touching each other.
I gave Rudy my comb to work through his medium-length hair as I looked at the clothes I’d already worn.
There wouldn’t be any dressing up for this date, not unless I wanted to raid the courtesy closet again.
I couldn’t keep doing that, though. Even if it was a service they offered to everyone, it didn’t seem right.
Especially now that I had no intention of leaving.
I glanced toward Rudy. In the reflection, I could see his tongue sticking out as he concentrated on combing through his tangles.
So fucking adorable without even trying.
No. There was no way I was leaving this man.
I might have to have a conversation with Maxime to figure out what kind of arrangements we could make, since I didn’t have endless credit or financial means.
But that was a worry for another day. I quickly stepped into the underwear and pants I’d been wearing earlier, but switched the shirt to a different used one. Sigh.
My worries about my wardrobe options disappeared when Rudy came out of the bathroom with his hair combed and his full body on display. Even better was the way he blushed when he noticed me staring.
“Bowen… please. I can’t think when you look at me like that.
” The begging tone in his voice brought a smile to my face, but I looked away, knowing he was trying really hard to maintain control.
I heard him move around the room faster than a man could, and before I knew it, he was back in his baggy clothes.
Maybe I wasn’t the only one who needed a new wardrobe, though I understood his reasoning.
It wasn’t like I had any sense of style with my typical button-down shirts, but then I never had someone I wanted to impress either.
Not that I needed to do anything to impress Rudy, but I wanted to.
Focusing on the present, I went to the bedside table to get my glasses and collect my bag from the floor. My eyes slid to the rumpled bed and the tube that had gotten kicked aside. I snatched it up and stuck it in my bag. It might come in handy later… or at least I hoped so.
Rudy’s eyes were wide when he saw me stash it away, his cheeks beneath his black scruff so wonderfully pink. He let out an awkward laugh and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up. “Do you always keep, um, lube with you?”
I barked out a laugh. “No, definitely not the kind of treat I usually have on hand. It was a gift from Zephyr.”
The large man spluttered and coughed in surprise, his cheeks growing brighter. “Zephyr? What? Why?”
“I think it was meant to be a peace offering.” Maybe it was an unusual form of a gift, but hell, I wasn’t going to turn it down.