Chapter 4
FOUR
LUNA
I have to stop Sadie before she can reach the door on the other side of the kitchen and pull it open.
If she does that, she’ll be in the hallway and there’s no way her cries won’t be heard by those sleeping upstairs.
If Reid hears that his ex is here and sounds scared for her life, that is going to be a disaster for me.
So I have to silence Sadie before she can alert him.
‘Get back here!’ I hiss under my breath as I grab at Sadie, who is just out of reach of both my left hand and the blade of the hedge clippers in my right.
‘Get away from me!’ Sadie suddenly screams, the noise deafening at this hour when the house is otherwise silent. ‘Reid! Help me!’
She’s being so loud. He’s going to hear her and then he’s going to come downstairs and hear everything Sadie suspects me of.
Once that happens, he’ll never look at me in the same way again.
Even if he isn’t sure if he should believe his ex’s word over mine, there will still be doubts in his mind.
Fears and paranoia that cloud his love for me and threaten to ruin everything we have together.
Our relationship. Our family. Our baby.
‘I’m pregnant,’ I say to Sadie, sensing a way that I might be able to get her to shut up and stop for a second.
It works.
Sadie is no longer running, although she is on the other side of the breakfast bar, which is providing a safe barrier between her and me, for the time being, at least.
‘What?’ she replies.
‘It’s true,’ I reply, out of breath from the brief chase but keeping my voice low as I pray that Reid has not been disturbed.
‘I’m carrying a child. Reid’s child. That means Arthur and Ruby are going to have a little brother or sister, but all this stress is not good for the baby, so we need to stop.
If not for my sake, do it for my unborn child or your own children and their future sibling. ’
Sadie stares at me as if trying to figure out if this is the truth or just another of my many tactics, but unlike so much else, I don’t have to lie about this.
‘I mean it. I’m pregnant. So whatever you think of me, you know that the life growing inside of me is innocent. So think about that before you make your next move. Think about how you won’t just be ruining my future if you tell everyone what I did, but you’ll be ruining my child’s future too.’
‘I don’t believe this,’ Sadie says, shaking her head.
‘Every child needs their mother,’ I go on, not backing down. ‘You know that, and now that I’m going to be a mother myself, I know it as well. So please, have some heart.’
‘You have got to be joking,’ Sadie spits back. ‘Where was your heart when you stole everything from me and set the police after me to stop me from driving? Where was your heart when you framed Gemma? Where was your heart when you set fire to the house with my parents and children inside?’
‘I’ve made mistakes, I accept that,’ I say, which is surely the least I can do. ‘But let’s slow down and talk about this before things get any further out of control. This is a dangerous situation, but nobody needs to get hurt.’
‘You’re the one holding the weapon,’ Sadie points out.
‘I’ll put it down, but only if you agree to be quiet,’ I say, and Sadie thinks about it for a moment before she nods.
So I keep my word. I lower the clippers onto the breakfast bar between us, hopefully showing that I don’t want to kill her anymore.
But the fact that the kitchen knives are in their stand only an arm’s length away from me on this breakfast bar means I have another option if I get the chance to use them.
Sadie’s eyes are on the clippers and maybe now she assumes she is safe. I hope so and it’s a good sign for me that she isn’t running for that door.
‘I really want to experience motherhood,’ I admit. ‘I really want to have my baby and raise him or her in a safe, loving environment. But that can’t happen if I have to go to prison. So please, I’m begging you, show me some mercy.’
‘Mercy? When did you show me any when you meticulously dismantled everything I ever cared about?’
I realise this is a tough sell, so I switch gears and decide to do something that I don’t do very often. I make myself appear vulnerable.
‘You’re right, I didn’t show you any mercy and I’m sorry about that,’ I say. ‘But it’s only because you were right in what you said about me in the garage.’
I’m hoping that ‘admitting’ all of this will make Sadie see me as some desperate woman suffering with her personality, when in fact, I’m only doing this to try and lull her into a false sense of security. I can still see the knives in my peripheral vision, and I will use them if I get the chance.
‘Then give up. Hand yourself in to the police and face the consequences of your actions,’ Sadie suggests. ‘If you admit to everything, then they will be more lenient and you can still have a life after this. You can still be a mother to your child.’
‘Do you really think so?’ I ask, really playing the sad victim now and not the crazed killer I was appearing to be a few moments ago.
‘Yes, I do,’ Sadie says, as good a lie as I have ever heard and I’ve heard a lot in my time.
Most of them have come out of my mouth. That’s when I realise that Sadie is playing a game here like I am.
While I am only trying to say what I think she wants to hear, she is simply doing the same to me. But who will win this game?
‘Will you help me?’ I ask her. ‘If I do this. If I give myself up and tell the police everything. Will you help me get a lesser punishment so I can be with my child again one day? Will you say whatever you have to say to make them go easier on me?’
There’s absolutely no way any sane person would agree to that, not after I stole their family and ruined their life. That’s why I know Sadie would never agree to it. But she keeps on playing her game, nonetheless.
‘Yes, I will,’ she replies, lying through her teeth but doing her best not to show it. ‘I’ll help you. This can all be okay. The important thing is that you don’t make it worse for yourself now.’
Worse for myself? Yeah, right. But I just nod my head and look as sad and confused as I can and then I step away from the clippers, proving that I am serious about not using them again.
But each step I take brings me closer to the knives and, as Sadie isn’t moving yet, I’m getting closer to her again now too.
‘I’m scared,’ I tell her, putting a hand on my belly for effect. ‘I just want to be a good mother. Like you.’
Sadie is watching me, but that’s okay because if she’s doing that, she’s not watching the knives that are now very near where I stand.
‘I just wanted to be like you,’ I carry on. ‘You had everything and I had nothing and I guess I lost sight of what was right and wrong. But I’m not a bad person. You have to believe me.’
‘I do,’ Sadie says, which would be tragic if it were true. But she doesn’t believe a word I’m saying. She’s just glad I’m not trying to kill her again. Not yet.
I lunge for the knives and grab the biggest one I can by the handle before thrusting it towards Sadie.
I’ve aimed for her chest, but I’d be happy if the blade penetrated her anywhere on her body, as long as it immobilised her and left her weak for the kill.
But she raises her hands and grabs hold of the same handle I am holding, stopping the knife just inches away from her body.
She’s stronger than I thought. Or more desperate. Or smarter. Maybe she was anticipating all along that I’d go for the knives and she was waiting for me to make my move.
‘Die, bitch,’ I say as I try and force the knife to move the final few inches it needs to in order to plunge into her.
But she is pushing back with all her strength and the blade is not moving.
We’re deadlocked in a desperate fight to the death, both of us aware that whoever gives in first will be the one who ends up with this knife inside them.
I grit my teeth and press forward but Sadie pushes slightly harder before I hear a loud crack in my wrist. I feel a jolt of pain emanate from the same part of my body and cry out as I realise to my horror that in all the pushing and the pressure we were enforcing on one another’s hands, I have just injured my wrist.
I’m instantly weakened and Sadie has the upper hand, although I drop the knife, meaning she can’t use it against me immediately.
As I grab my injured wrist with my spare, useful hand, Sadie scoops the knife from the kitchen floor and then slashes at me, drawing blood on my arm, and I howl in pain.
I clutch my arm and feel the blood seeping through my nightdress. It’s not a fatal wound, but it’s a deep and painful one and it’s shocked me, just like my injured wrist shocked me when it felt like it snapped. But why would Sadie care about any of that? Instead, she is running for the door again.
‘No!’ I cry, but I won’t be able to catch her this time.
She’s too fast and I’m too injured and too shellshocked at how Sadie used the knife on me, as well as the fact that she still has that knife in her hand and is willing to use it again if tested.
That means that all I can do is watch as she reaches the door, flings it open and runs into the hallway.
The only thing stopping her reaching Reid and her children now is the staircase.
I have no doubt that she will run upstairs, and once she is upstairs, she will be reunited with them and I will be left down here alone, just like I was alone before I found this family.
I can’t believe it. It’s over. I’ve lost.
‘Reid! Wake up!’ Sadie shouts as she reaches out for the handrail on the stairs, moving as fast as her legs will carry her.
And then I see her slip.
She falls on the staircase, hitting her head hard on the bottom step.
Then it all goes quiet.
She isn’t moving.
Is she okay?