Chapter 22
TWENTY-TWO
LUNA
This corridor was quiet when I first entered it about three hours ago but now it is a hive of activity and it’s only getting more that way by the second.
Doctors, nurses and, finally, family members have poured into this part of the hospital ever since the coma patient here regained consciousness.
I can see Sadie’s parents sitting on chairs a little further down from where I am and they have been glancing over at me several times, though they haven’t dared to approach yet.
I’m hardly eager to approach them either, so we’re continuing to keep our distance for now.
I have no doubt that the doctor who spoke to them will have told them that I was present in the room when their daughter woke up.
I guess they don’t suspect I was doing anything untoward or they would have made a big scene.
I also guess the staff here don’t suspect me of anything untoward either, because they haven’t sought the attention of the police.
But they have asked that I stay here so I can talk to them more about what happened, and while I could have pretended I was still feeling ill and needed to go back to my bed, I have decided to stay.
I need to be here to find out if Sadie remembers anything, and it’s better to stress here, where I might get a few answers, than stress in my bed behind those closed curtains, where I won’t have a clue what might be going on.
I also expect that Reid will arrive here at any moment with Arthur and Ruby, so it will be nice to see them, if only to remind them and myself that I am as much a part of the family as anybody else here.
As I sit and stew, fidgeting and fiddling with my fingers, I think about how only amnesia can save me now.
That’s the only possible way I am not arrested in the next few hours.
I need Sadie’s memory of events before her head injury to be foggy or, better yet, forgotten.
But are they, or is she at this very moment recalling everything that led up to her being in a coma as a nurse quickly writes it all down so it can be used as evidence later?
I want to walk into her room and find out but I’ve already spent enough time in there and I don’t think I’ll get away with spending any more.
I suddenly hear a familiar voice and, when I look up, I see Arthur bounding through the double doors, shouting out for his mother. He is followed by Ruby, who is doing the same thing, before their father appears behind them, my baby in his arms.
As Sadie’s parents get out of their seats to slow the children down, I get up to go and greet Reid, eager for a hug with my son, as this is the longest we have been apart since he was born and I have been missing him terribly.
He doesn’t need to know that his mum almost killed another person tonight.
All he needs to know is that I love him and, as I reach Reid, I make sure to take Jude quickly and envelop him in cuddles and kisses for the next several seconds.
‘What are you doing here?’ Reid asks me. ‘Did somebody go and get you?’
‘No,’ I reply before kissing Jude’s soft forehead again. ‘I was here when Sadie woke up.’
‘What?’
‘It’s a long story,’ I say, and then the door to Sadie’s room opens and a handsome doctor emerges into the corridor.
In all the commotion earlier, I hadn’t noticed this dishy doc, but it’s hard not to notice him now; although just because he has good looks, it doesn’t mean he might not be about to reveal that Sadie has pinpointed me as the reason she almost died both before her accident and after it.
As the whole family gathers around to hear what he has to say, I hold on to Jude tightly, afraid that he might be taken from my grasp in a few seconds when this man in the white coat recounts Sadie’s version of events.
‘Are you all family members?’ the doctor asks before he begins, clearly wanting to ensure that everybody who is about to hear this has a right to hear it and isn’t just some hanger-on looking for gossip.
‘Yes,’ Reid says, but then Sadie’s father speaks up.
‘Technically, she is not,’ he says, and I realise he is referring to me.
‘He’s wrong. She is family, so whatever you have to tell us, she can hear it,’ Reid replies, speaking up on my behalf.
I don’t have the energy to argue with this man who I barely know, even if he might deserve it. That’s because I’m too busy waiting to hear my fate and that all hinges on what the doctor says next.
The doctor clears his throat and is clearly a little awkward about what just happened, and then he gets on with it and delivers the diagnosis that will decide my destiny.
‘As you all know, the good news is that Sadie came out of her coma in the early hours of this morning,’ he begins. ‘That is a hugely positive sign, and one we should all be thankful for. But this is also a crucial time, and the patient has a long way to go yet.’
That was a very measured way of tempering expectations, and while everyone else listening in on this might feel slightly deflated by that last part, I am hopeful there is some bad news to come.
‘We still have several tests to conduct, but the early ones we have completed indicate that, at this stage, Sadie is suffering from some memory loss.’
There they are. The two words I was desperate to hear. I could drop down to my knees and thank my guardian angel. Instead, I stay standing and keep a stoic expression on my face.
‘Memory loss?’ Sadie’s father repeats.
‘Yes, but it is very early and we have yet to determine the extent of it,’ the doctor tells us. ‘I will say this is something that is common with those patients who have experienced similar injuries to the one Sadie did, and especially when it resulted in a coma.’
‘How much can she remember?’ Sadie’s mother asks next. ‘Can she remember us?’
‘I believe so,’ the doctor says with a cautious nod. ‘She has been asking about you all, so that is a good sign. In particular, she has been asking about Arthur and Ruby, who I presume are you two.’
The doctor smiles at the two children staring up at him, but all I can think about is how he just said that Sadie has been asking about us all. Does that include me?
‘So what memory has she lost?’ Reid asks. It’s a question I am grateful to hear because it’s the only one I want answering but also the only one I am too afraid to voice in front of everyone else.
‘Like I said, it is still early and we have several tests to conduct to determine the extent of it,’ the doctor repeats. ‘At this early stage, it would appear it is her short-term memory, and more specifically, the events around her accident and the time before she went into the coma.’
I feel some air escaping through my pursed lips, a slight exhale that is my body’s way of releasing a little of the tension I have been holding onto ever since Sadie woke. What the doctor just told us is excellent news, at least for me anyway.
‘She can’t remember why she’s in hospital?’ I ask then, finding my voice now I feel less panicky on the inside.
‘Not at the moment, no,’ the doctor replies. ‘This memory may return. It’s very early days.’
‘When will you know if it will return?’ I ask.
‘It’s difficult to put a timeframe on that. It could be days, weeks, months. It could even be years. There really is no way to know if and when the memory will return, but it absolutely can and that is the outcome we will be working towards.’
As Arthur and Ruby ask if they can see their mummy now and the doctor confirms that they can, I take a step back from the eager family who all want to get inside that room and see Sadie.
All I can think about at the moment is the doctor saying Sadie’s memory could return at any time and it might even be years from now. If that’s the case, I can never relax.
‘Are you okay?’
I realise Reid is talking to me, and while everyone else has now gone in to see Sadie, he is still out here with me and Jude. I appreciate that, although I’d rather be on my own at this moment to process what I just heard about Sadie’s amnesia.
‘Yeah, I just feel like I need to lie down,’ I say. ‘Maybe I should go back to my bed. The doctors are probably looking for me, anyway.’
‘That sounds like a good idea.’
I give Jude a kiss before handing him back to his father.
‘If anybody wants to speak to me about when Sadie woke up, you know where I am,’ I say to Reid, and he nods before I walk away, relieved to get myself out of this corridor where I have spent far too much time.
As I put some distance between myself and Sadie, I feel a little better, although I am still aware that everything could change if the patient’s memory returns. But for now, for the first time in a long time, I can relax enough and, as I do, my body lets me know that it is hungry.
I decide to make a quick stop off at the canteen to see what I might be able to get there, but no sooner have I walked in than I stop dead in my tracks. That’s because I see somebody in here who I recognise.
What is she doing here?
I make sure to stay well back so the person I am looking at can’t see me, and as I do, I notice she has a police officer with her. That makes sense: she is a convicted criminal, even if only because I framed her. What doesn’t make sense is why she is here and not in prison.
I keep watching Gemma as she buys a packet of crisps and some chocolate and then I see her leave the canteen.
Is she here to see Sadie?
There’s only one way to find out.
I have to follow her.