14. HeavenHell? #2
I lean forward, all my weight shifting onto the balls of my feet. A breathy, nervous wheeze slips out as I part my lips, rising onto my tiptoes as I lean up and—
I gasp when Liam suddenly steps back, nearly sending me stumbling forward.
“Popcorn?” he blurts, shoving the bowl toward me just in time to keep me from falling face-first onto the floor.
I stare at his offering.
That’s not what I’m hungry for. Not even close.
Liam won’t meet my eyes as I push the bowl away. His hand slides to the back of his neck, fingers scruffing through his hair, utterly oblivious to the connection we almost just made.
He crawls into the bed, patting the spot next to him.
Waving me over like I’m a dog being called, cracking a smile, and chuckling as if he knows exactly what he’s doing.
Suddenly, I’m no longer irritated at him for not throwing me against the wall and kissing me to make up for all the time we’ve been apart.
I slide into bed, pull back the covers, and see that he changed into the sweats I kept.
Our backs are resting against my headboard, a thick tension buzzing between us.
He places the bowl of popcorn between us, like he doesn’t trust himself—or me—and needs a physical barrier.
He presses play on the movie he has pulled up on my TV.
Within the first few seconds, I recognize that it’s Titanic. I glance over and crack a smile.
“Great choice.”
“Just figured you might need a refresher.” He says between bites. “Since you couldn’t remember Jack’s last name.”
My mouth drops open as I think back to trivia night and how he had stormed out.
“Is that why you ran away like a baby? Cause you thought I forgot about our movie?” I say the word our, like we still exist as one entity, like there is still such a thing as an us.
I twist to face him as the movie continues. He shrugs, throwing a piece of popcorn at my face. It hits me square in the nose, but I pick it up and eat it. I swear he relaxes, and I realize he likely did that just because he wanted me to eat something.
“I knew his last name,” I confess as Liam watches Rose board the ship.
But he waves me off with a soft, “Uh-huh.”
“Maybe I didn’t answer right away because I was thinking about something else.”
“And what was that, Aubs?” he winks playfully.
There it is again, that nickname I wish he would stop using. But I know this time it wasn’t a slip-up; it wasn’t accidental, it was intentional, testing.
I grin. How is it that even after all this time, he still knows me so well?
I grab the popcorn bowl and set it on my nightstand. With nothing separating us, I can now easily inch myself closer. I hear his breathing hitch, his hands like heavy stone limbs as they rest on each side of him, grabbing my sheets in apparent restraint.
My pinky brushes his, just like it did earlier tonight, a touch that I know sent us both a wave of want.
He reaches for the remote and turns the TV up, clearly trying to distract himself. But I crack a smile, watching him struggle to keep a tight-lipped look of indifference.
I wonder if he’s burning with desire like I am? The idea of him being as eager as I am sends a wave of excitement through me.
The piece of me that once held a part of him begs to be accounted for, begs to have a piece back.
Whatever he’s willing to offer me, I’ll take—just for one night.
Just one last time.
So in a flash of need and bravery, I climb atop him, my legs straddling either side of his body.
His eyes slam closed.
His chest heaves.
Once.
Twice.
His damn hands are still wrapped in my sheets, refusing to touch me.
So, I pry them away, forcing them to find my hips.
His fingers are gentle, like he’s holding glass beneath his touch. When he finally opens his eyes, he stares at me with such longing that it nearly breaks my resolve, knowing this means so much more to him than it does to me.
And now I know, without a second of hesitation, that everything he said was all a lie.
All a fabrication to protect me from himself.
But I’m not so easily broken.
His eyes roam over my body boldly. He makes me solid and sturdy. He is my anchor in the storm.
Liam’s hands trail circles from where they rest at my sides. My thighs spread as I hover atop him, afraid to make the last move by resting myself against his groin.
Suddenly, he uses his strength and forces my hips down against him, all within the brief moment it takes me to let out a breathy gasp.
I try to read his face as our bodies connect.
The fabric of his sweatpants does nothing to hide his own need, but his face remains unreadable as the heat of his gaze sets me alight.
He leans forward, grinding his erection against me as he pulls me closer to him. Tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear, he whispers, his words like a fucking caress against my burning skin, “Do you need a reminder of how good we can be together?”
I nod my head as I gulp down.
His thumb traces over my bottom lip as he pulls away, and I’m not ready for him to be so far away. I take in a deep breath, savoring his smell. My nose flares, like his scent is a fucking aphrodisiac.
He smells fresh. Like clean linen, a sea breeze—
Home.
But my thoughts are cut off as Liam says, “Do you want me to remind you how good I can fuck you? A reminder that it’s me that can make you scream—not a single other person on this campus.”
I know that’s a dig at the date I went on with Noah Pierce.
His words strike a vibrant chord within me as I gasp. He leans back, removing his hands from me, bracing them behind his head as he rests against the headboard.
I can feel that my cheeks are flushed, not from embarrassment, but from the flood of heat overwhelming me. I forgot how filthy his tongue could be, how he could nearly make me come with only his words.
My pulse skitters as he gives me his bedroom grin, all lopsided and lazy, and I forgot how alarmingly handsome he is.
But why isn’t he touching me?
As if he could read my mind, he says, “I’d be happy to remind you, Aubrey. Just not tonight.”
I swallow, blood pounding my temples. With sudden humiliation, I look away, slowly slipping myself off him. But his large hands lock me in place, refusing to allow me to retreat and claim the loss.
His fingers trace my jaw as he forces me to look at him, and God, do I wish he would stop doing that.
Taking my hands in his, his large palms engulfing my own as he encourages them to explore, leading them down, lower, toward his center. He rests my hand over his hardness, then he forces my fingers to curl, so I can feel his arousal.
I bite my lip, feeling how hard he is for me. But before my fingers begin exploring him—his length through the fabric—he pries my hold free with a deep sigh.
Why stop me?
His thumb is over my lips again, like he’s desperate to touch them in any way I will allow.
“Don’t you think for one second I don’t want you, that I don’t need you,” he growls. It’s breathtaking how well this man knows me—knows every thought that torments me.
His eyes go hungry.
“I want you so fucking bad—but not tonight, not like this.” He says softly.
Then he stops trailing my lips.
He replaces his thumb with his finger, sliding it between my teeth, parting my mouth as my teeth scrape against him.
I flick my tongue over the tip, savoring the salty taste of his skin and remembering how he tasted elsewhere.
He heaves, a noise that sounds like true agony.
He pushes his finger deeper, inching it further and further back.
My tongue swirls around him, and then he pulls it free in a quick motion.
“Fuck, Aubrey.” He scolds, tossing me off him in one fluid motion.
We both stare at each other, waves of arousal washing over me.
But then he starts laughing, throwing his head back against the headboard.
I can feel my face cloud with uneasiness as I stare wordlessly at him.
Then my own amusement bubbles in my throat, and I find myself laughing beside him, curling into his side as he pulls me close.
We don’t say anything—we don’t need to.
We both know how complicated this just became. So much to say to one another—too much for just one night.
We watch the rest of the movie, and I’m certain it’s the first time we’ve successfully managed to watch nearly the whole thing from start to finish without…
finishing ourselves. Liam holds me, tracing circles over my back until my sight begins to fade to black.
As I drift off, Liam whispers, “Is this heaven or hell?”
I don’t respond because I’m not sure of the answer myself.