Chapter 40 Lex
LEX
Darkness crowds against me, moving in shadows to flow over my limbs, clinging to my flesh and dragging me down, down, down into its depths. Unlike most people, I don’t fight it. Fearing darkness would be fearing what lives inside me.
Beep.
The sharp sound that invades is accompanied by a buzzing sound in my ear. Pain is there. I know I ache, but it’s as if the darkness is a fog protecting me from actually feeling anything.
Beep.
I swat at the buzzing. A memory intrudes, nudging me until it forces some of the darkness to release me. I flinch away from the light as the sharp bite of discomfort stabs at me. I don’t want to feel it. I’m fine being here, staying here. There’s nothing for me outside.
Beep.
Despite my attempts at ignoring it, both the memory and the annoying sound return.
More forceful than before, it barrels past the fog and darkness until arms are wrapping around my chest. I look down, frowning as I take in the dainty fingers brushing over my pecs and down to my abs.
They look familiar somehow, but I can’t figure out why.
Beep.
Shaking my head, I reach for the hands, prying them off one by one. Then I look closer. Short, blunt nails. Slender fingers. Feminine.
Beep.
I know these hands. Turning, the figure is immersed in gray, bright against the pitch black.
“Who are you?” I ask.
They don’t answer.
Beep.
Scowling, I release the hands only for them to come back to me, sliding up over my shoulders and around my neck as the gray figure brushes against my naked flesh. Lips touch my neck and a bolt of lust shoots through me. My cock twitches.
“Who are you?” I demand again, harsher this time. The longer their hands remain on my skin, the harder it is to block the pain.
Still, they don’t answer. Instead, a soft voice whispers to me, “Come back.”
Come back? Back where?
Beep.
Fuck. What is that annoying sound?
Shreeeeeeeeeee!
I swat at the little swarm of foggy gray creatures that fly about my head, the irritating buzzing sound jumping to a shriek that hurts my ears. Something smells burnt and I grimace as the scent of smoke and copper invades my nose.
What the fuck?
Shreeeeeeeeeee!
“Lex?”
I turn, glancing back at the call of my name, but there’s no one there.
“Alex… please… come back.”
Alex… no one calls me Alex. Not anymore. The only person who would call me Alex is…
Slowly, I turn back to face the gray fog, blinking as it gradually lightens, becoming more and more translucent until I can see the woman inside.
“Juliet…”
Her face is a mask of fury, panic, and anguish. My heart jolts as I reach for her.
“Baby… what’s wrong?”
A lone tear escapes her eye. She stares back at me and there’s a plea in her expression, but if she doesn’t speak, I won’t know what she needs. Whatever it is, though, I’ll give it to her. Even if it kills me.
“No.” She chokes on the word.
“No?” I tilt my head. “No what, baby?”
“Don’t let it kill you,” she tells me. “Come back.”
“I’m right here,” I tell her.
As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I realize that they’re wrong. Here—wherever it is—isn’t real. I look around, a scowl forming on my lips. When did I even get here?
Beep.
Juliet gasps for breath and I reach for her, needing to touch her, to pull her into my arms. However we got here, I’ll protect her. I’ll keep her safe. I’d wouldn’t just kill for her, I’d die for her.
“But that’s not what I want,” she says, and it takes me far longer than it should to realize that either she’s reading my mind or I’m speaking my thoughts aloud. “I want you with me. Come back to me. To us.”
I glance at the place beyond the shadows. Light pierces through in some parts and each time it does, I feel another sharp pang of agony spread through me. Were it anyone else standing before me, I wouldn’t be able to admit the truth in my heart.
“It… hurts out there.” Going out there would be like walking through the gates of hell. A part of me wants to ask her to stay here with me instead.
Hell is a frame of mind and I’ve been here for so long, I’ve forgotten what it was like not to hurt.
It’s nice not to be in pain for a change. If I go out there, it’ll only fucking kill me all over again.
Beep.
Juliet touches my hand, her skin scalding hot, and I wince as she gently weaves her fingers with mine. Why is she so warm? Or perhaps I’m just cold… like I’m already dead.
“Come back,” she says again, and I can no longer deny her. If going out there will make her happy, then I’ll suffer the pain. For her… I’d suffer anything.
“Okay, baby.” My words are a whisper, the sounds coming from the other side of the darkness louder now that my decision has been made. I cup her cheek and bend down, pressing her forehead to mine.
Jagged streaks of white-hot torment slam into me and I grit my teeth to keep from screaming. It’s too late to go back now. Together, we walk towards the fog and I let the darkness ease away with each step.
Beep.
I open my eyes to a brilliant light over my head, burning straight into my corneas. A gasp escapes me, but there’s something covering my nose and mouth that keeps me from hearing it.
Human figures in blue caps and white masks covering every part of their face aside from their eyes peer down at me. “Hold on,” someone snaps. “I think he’s back with us.”
I blink, the weight of my eyelids slowly dragging with the movement. God, I’m tired. Everything fucking hurts.
“Ju…” I try to speak, but the rasp of my own voice is gone.
“Ju…” Darkness reaches for me again, curling in at the edges of my vision as the light dims. “Juliet…” I finally say, but the shadows have dragged me back into their arms once more.
Thankfully, this time, I think it’ll be easier to come back. After all, my baby is waiting for me.
The next time I wake, there’s no bright light shining down from above. In fact, it’s relatively dark and I’m lying on a thin mattress with my upper body slightly raised. Blinking through the blurry spots dancing in front of me, I take in the room.
A soft glow spills in from the open hospital room door, revealing the people in the room.
Nolan and Gio are both passed out, back-to-back on an uncomfortable-looking couch with wooden arms. One of Gio’s legs is thrown over the side with the arm closest to the back of the couch slung along the cushions.
His head is propped on one of Nolan’s shoulders, mouth hanging open as he breathes through a snort.
Nolan, however, is sitting with his arms crossed over his chest and his head tucked down.
Neither of them moves as I shift, biting back a curse as a sharp pang flares in my shoulder and thigh. Releasing a hissing breath, I count backwards from ten until the urge to scream dies down. Only then do I look over, fearing what I might find—or rather, what I won’t find.
The moment I see her, tears fill my eyes.
Never has there ever been another more beautiful sight of Juliet curled in a ball atop a cot.
Her blue hair fans over half of her face, hiding most of it from view.
The soft rise and fall of her chest, though, and the small murmurs she makes when she’s in a deep sleep are music to my ears.
Letting my lids drop, I lift my arm, ignoring the fresh edge of discomfort, and cover my closed eyes as the liquid pools and slips free. My shoulders shake and the steady beeping noise behind me picks up in pace only to slow back down when I take several calming breaths.
The memory of her disappearing over the edge and out of sight is carved into my mind. Worse even than the day I was told my parents were gone. No one else could break me the way she can.
I might have stayed like that, with my eyes shut and my head bent, making the effort to force back the tears and failing, if it weren’t for the deep male voice that intrudes on the moment.
“A man who doesn’t love isn’t a man at all.” Those words have my eyes slamming open and turning to look at the figure blocking the doorway. His massive shoulders brush the sides of the frame and the top of his skull is mere inches from the top.
Viks steps into the room without an invitation and slowly moves to the side that Juliet isn’t on. “I felt the same way when my Haley was in danger,” he says.
“How would you know how I feel?” I grit out. Of course he comes when I’m not able to escape the bastard. This whole time he’s been trying to get me alone, to get me to talk to him. I don’t want to. The only family I need are the people sleeping in this room with me.
There’s no irritation or offense in Viks’ face as he looks down at me. He doesn’t even respond to my question as he flicks his gaze to Juliet and then to the men across from me.
“It’s good to have people in your corner,” he tells me. “It gives you a reason to live…” His eyes move back to my face and he arches a brow. “And a reason to not be so damn reckless in the future.”
“I wasn’t reckless,” I snap.
“You were.” His response doesn’t even sound like an argument, just a simple statement of fact.
It only serves to irritate me further. “I saw the video,” he continues.
“If you hadn’t kept trying to take her down, you might not have gotten shot—at least not that second time.
That was the one that almost killed you. ”
Killed me? I look down and then pluck at the hospital gown’s collar to see the wrap of gauze and white that covers one side of my chest and over my shoulder. Had it been that close? I feel like… there was something I should remember. A dream, maybe?
Viks sighs, capturing my attention once more. “It’s a good thing you don’t need that football scholarship,” he says. “’Cause I doubt you’ll be playing for a while, kid, if at all.”
My brow furrows. Not because I’m offended by the idea of losing a scholarship or not playing football. I only ever did it because Nolan and Gio liked it.
“Why are you here?” I ask after a beat, wanting to get to the heart of his visit before Juliet or the others wake.