Chapter 15 #2
The words were a windstorm, sweeping away my insides and filling me instead with awe that I somehow meant something to him. No one ever had cared if I lived or died before. It was nice. But maybe it shouldn’t feel nice because it seemed to make him feel bad.
“It’s my anxiety,” I blurted.
His forehead creased. “What?”
“I don’t actually think I’m going to die.
But the pain in my body and not having seen the injuries…
my brain sort of fills in the unknown with the worst-case scenario.
” Trying to explain anxiety and irrational thought to someone who didn’t experience it was like trying to paint a house with a Q-tip.
Not that I’ve ever actually done that. But it seems like it would be hard, right?
Kieran sank to his knees beside the bed.
My scattered thoughts no longer mattered.
I stared openly at his broad frame bowed down next to me.
For once, I was slightly higher than him, and I realized then that our physical size difference really didn’t matter.
Because even now, when he was at a “lower” level, he was still commanding.
His energy still somehow overpowered mine.
When he reached for the buttons on my shirt, my breath caught. My arms slipped to my sides like limp noodles, eyes devouring the sight of his thick fingers popping them open one by one. The farther down he got, the more my stomach fluttered until goose bumps covered me from head to toe.
I was thankful for the comforter lying across my lap and hiding the raging boner I’d popped from just watching him undo some buttons. With bated breath, I waffled between hoping he would stop before he realized and hoping he would realize and wrap those capable fingers around me.
“Baby doll.”
The endearment caused the breath I’d been holding to whoosh from my lungs. I lifted my eyes to find his blue ones already watching me, the azure depths bleeding into obsidian.
Overwhelming lust swamped me, nearly suffocating in its potency.
Never in my life had I ever wanted anyone the way I did Kieran.
If he didn’t touch me, take me, own me, then I would simply cease to exist. Attempted murder, bodily harm, and the suspicion this man had lied about who he really was seemed inconsequential in comparison.
His fingertips brushed across my bare skin, and a low whine slipped from between my lips.
“You wanted to see, baby doll.” He reminded me, fingers peeling back the sides of the fabric to reveal my torso.
Those injuries no longer mattered. I no longer cared. How could I look when I was blind to everything except him? I reached for him, the warmth of his skin intoxicating.
“We can’t,” he rasped, denying the polarizing force between us despite the flush to his cheeks.
“Please, Kieran.”
Under my hands, his curled into loose fists. “No. Not for a few more days.”
An all-too-familiar feeling of fullness squeezed my chest, the ominous precursor to panic. The feeling spread like a fast-moving infectious disease, shriveling rational thought to make room for chaos.
Tears welled in my eyes. “I didn’t take your phone number.” The quiver in my voice vibrated my lower lip. “When I was hiding, I wished I had.”
An expression I’d never seen crossed his face. I couldn’t look away, addicted to the way it pierced my heart.
A tear dripped from the welling pool blurring my vision. “I could be dead in a few days.”
He shot up, his very being rejecting the words. The truth. He was over me instantly, body hovering so close but still not close enough. “You will not die.”
Such conviction only increased my desperation, and I spread my legs so he could settle between them.
It still wasn’t enough. And it made me do something I swore I’d never do.
Beg.
“Please.” The plea fell off my tongue without a second thought. “Don’t make me wait another day, another hour. I’ll be so good for you, Kieran. So good.”
Both hands slipped to the back of my neck, thumbs gently caressing the front of my throat. “You’re pretty when you cry for me,” he said, leaning down to lick the tears from my cheeks.
I nodded, more tears falling. With a warm hum, he licked those away too.
His eyes stayed focused on me as he eased to his knees and reached behind him to pull off his shirt in one sexy, fluid move.
The tattoo covering the left side of his shoulder and chest was just as large and abstract as the one on his right upper thigh.
My eyes were greedy, roaming every line and curve as if a shadow had permanently affixed itself to his skin.
Dragging lower, I admired the cut muscles in his stomach, all the way down to the thatch of dark hair disappearing into his pants.
The sound of his belt buckle coming undone made my aching erection jerk, and I watched hungrily as he shoved down the pants and boxers, revealing part of the tattoo on his leg.
Vertebrae by vertebrae, anticipation climbed my spine as he silently towered over me. A man in a battle with darkness as if it were trying to consume him but wasn’t quite strong enough to do so completely.
How powerful must he have been to not just tame darkness but harness it.
Kieran stood from the bed to peel off his clothes completely and rip the blanket covering my lower half down to the foot of the mattress.
Cool air brushed my newly exposed skin, but I barely noticed with the way his biceps bulged as he grasped the sides of my shirt and pulled.
The last few buttons gave way under his strength, and my over-eager dick appeared.
I sat up to tug the clothes off my arms.
“Leave it,” he ordered, glancing at the IV, which I’d forgotten was hooked through the rip he’d made in the sleeve. “Lie down and let me look at you.”
I lay back, and he spread the shirt out around me, eyes roaming my battered body as though he didn’t notice I was covered in wounds.
Reaching into the nightstand, he grabbed a bottle of lube and squirted some into his hand before tossing the bottle onto the bed and moving so close his thighs brushed the side of the mattress.
I turned my face toward him as he slid is wet hand over his stiff dick.
There was so much lube in his palm that it squeezed out of his fist, gathering under the thick mushroom-shaped tip.
It was bold and virile, his head always on proud display unlike my uncut cock whose head was only out when I was rocking a boner—like now.
A lewd squelching sound filled the room when he twisted his hand and pumped his shaft, and it sent a surge of jealousy through me. I want that.
“Kieran,” I whimpered, clearly not above begging again.
He said nothing, just stood there, working the lube over his rod until it glistened, his heated stare fixed on me. Impatient, I reached for him, eager to feel the weight of him in my palm.
“No.”
The denial was like the crack of a whip on my bare skin, and my stare shot to him, incredulous of the refusal.
Our eyes met, and his dark brow arched. Are you going to be good for me like you promised?
I bit down on my lip and withdrew my hand, but please note: I was not happy about this. Not at all.
Kieran’s expression barely changed as he continued fapping his shiny, wet dick, brazenly showing off what I begged for while at the same time denying it.
I watched hungrily as it practically swelled in his hand, imagining how it would feel inside me.
It would likely burn at first, maybe even hurt.
But that sharp sting would spread through my veins and mellow into bone-melting pleasure.
I squirmed and whined, my cock leaking all over my lower belly, so worked up that a flush spread across my chest. When a pearly bead appeared on his tip, I let out a low moan.
“If you keep this up, I’m going to come before you even touch me.”
“Go ahead.”
Shock parted my lips. “W-what?” I said, attention diverted by the way he slid down to cup his balls and squeeze them.
My dick spasmed, and I whimpered.
“You can come whenever you want, baby doll.”
“How can I without you?”
“I’m right here.”
“But you won’t let me touch you. You won’t touch me.”
“Is that what you need? Me to touch you?”
I nodded eagerly, so much so that my head ached.
His laugh was so low that I might have missed it if it weren’t for the way his eyes lit up. “Lie back.”
I did, looking up for more direction.
A pained sound left his lips. “You are so beautiful it hurts.”
“Not as much as my dick,” I muttered, frustration overtaking my mind and body.
This time, his laugh was audible, and hearing it tumbled my heart. Before I could recover, Kieran’s hand lay over my chest in a barely-there caress. My breath caught. His fingers circled my nipple and then pinched. My entire body bowed, torso arching like I was suddenly possessed.
I was.
By the blinding, overwhelming orgasm that literally ripped from my balls and shot out of my dick.
I cried out, entire body held hostage by explosive pleasure.
When it ebbed, I dropped back on the mattress, panting, only to have Kieran pinch my nipple again, creating a ripple of aftershocks through my limbs.
His hand lifted, and my head rolled toward him and his still-rigid dick.
Groaning, I looked down at the cum splattered on my belly. “Oh man,” I groaned, completely mortified. My God, he literally touched my nipple, and I went off like a firework.
“Is something wrong?” Kieran mused.
Was he pleased by this? Did he think my short fuse was entertaining?
I glared. “This is your fault.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. If you wouldn’t have teased me so long with that giant dick, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“You don’t like having orgasms?” he asked.
“No!” I wailed. Then, realizing that was wrong, I said, “Yes!”
“Well, which is it, doll?”
“Of course I like orgasms,” I said, irritated. “But that wasn’t what I wanted.” I glanced up, caught a glimpse of his blue eyes, and looked away, shy. “I wanted you,” I whispered.
Suddenly, I felt entirely stupid and overly emotional. Maybe it was my injuries or the fact that someone tried to kill me. Or maybe… the orgasm. Whatever it was left me raw and vulnerable. I didn’t want him to see me like this. He’d already seen far too much.
God. I begged.
I started to turn away, but his hand stopped me. “I want you too.”
His words caught me off guard, and I turned to look over my shoulder. “What?”
Gently, he pulled me around until I was on my back and climbed on the bed over me. My legs parted instantly, making room as though they’d forgotten I’d just been trying to get away.
His weight settled, most of his upper body supported by his elbows, which caged me in. “I’ve never been scared before.”
Once again, the words caught me by surprise.
It must have shown on my face because one side of his mouth tilted up. “The fact that I have feelings surprises the shit out of me too.”
I blinked at him, completely captivated. I wanted to ask a million questions, but I also didn’t want to ruin this moment with the sound of my voice.
“I went to the Neon Reef. And then I went to your apartment. I saw how trashed it was, the bullet holes everywhere, the broken glass…” The muscle in his jaw jerked, and he looked off to the side.
Without overthinking it, I laid my palm against his face, gently guiding his eyes back to me. Just as I was about to pull my hand back, he covered it with his, pushing closer and rubbing against it.
My whole chest fluttered. Pretty sure my heart levitated right there in my ribs. Probably floated all the way into my throat.
“I threatened your neighbor, found out you work at the club.”
My fingers jerked against his beard. “Rett?”
“You don’t work there anymore.”
“What?” I exclaimed. He couldn’t just quit a job for me, could he? “I need that job—” I started, but he cut me off with a simple, calm statement.
“I need you to be safe.”
Safe? My eyes bounced between his, asking questions I had no voice for.
“I couldn’t find you, and it scared the shit out of me.
And then when I did, you passed out in my arms and wouldn’t wake up.
” A faraway expression filled his eyes. “I’ve been in a lot of bad situations, seen things—bad things—that emptied my faith in humanity.
But I’ve never really been scared. Not like this.
” His eyes refocused, his attention so intense I saw my reflection right there in the blue of his stare.
“All it took was one look. One look at that doll face and everything changed.”
“What do you mean, Kieran?” I whispered, heart nearly beating out of my chest.
“You’re proof.”
My forehead wrinkled. “Proof?”
He nodded, his eyes shifting once again. “That there really is life after death.”
If I was raw and vulnerable, well, he was now too.
“It’s you,” he whispered. “It’s you.”
I wasn’t a hundred percent sure what he meant by that, but the way he was looking at me made me feel like the most precious thing he’d ever seen.
He cleared his throat. “So yeah, baby doll, I made you come. Because when I get in you, I’m gonna take my time. I’m going to enjoy ringing another orgasm out of you before I bury mine deep in that belly.”
His hand dragged mine over to his lips, drawing two fingers into his mouth to twine his tongue around them. Heat coiled low in my belly, and the desire I thought was spent came roaring back to life.
Releasing my fingers, he said, “I’m not done with you tonight, baby doll. Not even close.”