Chapter 30
CHAPTER
THIRTY
Kieran
You might be a hitman, but you are so much more than death, Kieran Vaughn.
Was I? I honestly wasn’t sure. I could concede that, since meeting Hazard, life was no longer only about death. Maybe it didn’t need to be.
Death is certainty in a life of the uncertain. Perhaps that’s why, when others cling to life, I prefer to cling to death.
I might have lived that day when others in my unit died, but I did not survive unscathed. The hope once filling me was torn from my soul, leaving behind bitter insecurity that scarred over with anger.
If hope ceases to exist in the face of uncertainty, the inevitability of death becomes a comfort.
There was a new certainty in my life. A boy with messy hair, two-toned eyes, and a capacity to love even the likes of me.
He made me want. He made me love. He made me realize…
Maybe the ultimate revenge for what was done to me and my unit wasn’t being consumed by death. Maybe it was to be consumed by life.
For me, Haz was the very definition of life, and how easy it was to be consumed by him.
I wouldn’t give him up. Instead of death, I was going to cling to life. To him.
Doing so meant getting comfortable with uncertainty. I could do it for Hazard. I could also remove as much uncertainty as possible. For example, those who wanted to take him away from me.
So even though I found myself clinging to life, I would impart death to keep it.
No longer was I just a harbinger of death but also a pursuer of life.
Yes, perhaps my little hazard was right. I was more than death. A self-made double agent wielding the two greatest forces of the universe against each: the certainty of death and the uncertainty of life.
A dangerous game? Yes. But a game I would undoubtedly play to keep something I believed was long-turned a relic but discovered still existed inside him.
Love.