Chapter Eighteen
Anna winced as Max yet again shrugged his shoulders to Dan’s question.
It had been like this since Dan had brought Max back to his place just after eleven o’clock this morning.
It was hard to believe that the same man who’d larked around with Maisie last night, and again over breakfast, was unable to get more than a shrug and the occasional monosyllabic word out of his own son.
Dan’s eyes caught hers and she smiled in sympathy at the frustration, and the pain, she saw on his face. This man was so confident, found it so easy to charm adults and children alike. Why couldn’t he do it with his own son?
‘Shall we get going then? We don’t want to miss the play because we’re still eating lunch.’ Dan’s face was all forced excitement and that, Anna realised, was at the heart of it.
He wasn’t relaxed around Max, like he was around everyone else.
‘I’m soooooo excited about seeing The Lion King. Aren’t you, Max? It’s going to be wicked.’ Maisie, bless her, was doing her best to help.
Max gave her a shy smile, which reassured Anna he wasn’t traumatised. Just, perhaps, a bit overawed.
As the pair of them went to put their shoes on, Dan came to stand next to her. ‘Thank God you’re here. It would have been a very quiet day without you both.’
She squeezed his hand. ‘Max will be fine in a while. He’s being faced with a father he needs to get to know again, and two strangers. It’s a lot for him to take in right now.’
‘And that’s another reason I’m glad you’re here.’ Dan gave her a wry smile. ‘You put my neuroses into perspective.’
‘So,’ she said after a beat, knowing she needed to get this out while they were alone. ‘I found myself in your spare room this morning.’ She slid him a glance. ‘It wasn’t where I fell asleep.’
He arched his right brow. ‘But it’s where you said you wanted to wake up.’
‘It is. Thank you.’ Feeling a little embarrassed, she laughed. ‘I didn’t expect you to carry me. You should have woken me up.’
‘You looked out for the count.’
‘I must have been to have fallen asleep on you.’ The embarrassment mounted. All the women he must have taken to bed, she doubted he’d had one fall asleep on him.
‘We’re ready!’ Maisie’s loud voice echoed from the hallway.
‘I guess we should go then.’ Dan hesitated, then smiled down at her. ‘For the record, I enjoyed having you in my bed.’
Bump went her heart. Anna decided right then he was going to find her in his bed again tonight. And this time, she was damned if she was going to fall asleep.
Lunch was relaxed and fun, mainly thanks to Maisie’s incessant chatter.
Max came out of his shell a little, joining in when prompted, and each time he did, Anna noticed Dan relax a fraction more.
The boy was sweet, that was for certain, even if he was quiet.
As blond as Dan, he had finer features but the same killer smile when he chose to use it.
‘Anyone want pudding?’ Dan stole a look at the menu that had been left on the table. ‘There’s chocolate ice cream.’ He smiled over at his son. ‘You always used to ask for that.’
Max dropped his eyes to the table. ‘I prefer vanilla.’
Dan’s smile seemed to freeze on his face and she knew, even without looking into his eyes, how painful this was for him. ‘Okay then, vanilla it is. Good choice. And Maisie, anything for you?’
She grinned. ‘Chocolate, please. It’s the best.’
Dan’s face unfroze, and as her daughter and her — maybe, perhaps, even if it did happen it would be very brief — lover shared a smile, Anna’s stomach fell.
Oh God, here she was, worrying about moving on from Chris, about protecting her heart from Dan, when she hadn’t given a thought to how her daughter would feel when Dan was no longer in their lives.
She loved that Maisie was having fun, loved to see the excitement of the weekend through her eyes, but she needed to be responsible, too.
Needed to make sure Maisie knew Dan’s presence was only temporary.
‘Well, guys, you do realise what day it is today, don’t you?’ Dan asked once the ice creams had been set down in front of them all. Once again he sounded too cheerful. More like the performer hired to work a kid’s birthday party than the dad.
Max shrugged. ‘Saturday?’
Clearly relieved to have his son answer him, Dan laughed. ‘Exactly right, Max. Today is Saturday. But do you know the date?’
‘The Lion King day.’ Maisie grinned up at him, chocolate ice cream liberally spread around her mouth.
‘True, but it’s also . . .’ He paused dramatically. ‘The first of December.’
Maisie looked at Max, her eyes wide. ‘Cool. That means it’s nearly Christmas.’
‘It also means all the Christmas lights are on in London. Do you guys fancy taking them in after we’ve been to the theatre?’
‘Yeeesss.’ Maisie’s reply was, predictably, loud and strong.
‘Max? Would you like to see the lights?’
Max looked down at his ice cream, and Anna’s heart went out to both father and son. Max, because he was clearly struggling to find his feet in their company. Dan, because he was trying too hard to make this work.
‘Okay, let’s see how we all feel after the theatre.’
Dan’s voice was becoming less upbeat, and as they filed out of the restaurant, Anna held his arm, holding him back a little.
‘I’m sorry.’ When he frowned down at her, she elaborated.
‘It was my idea for you to invite another child and his or her parents along. I’m starting to think I was wrong.
Or maybe it’s just me and Maisie who are wrong.
Max would probably have found this easier if he’d not been bombarded by this strange woman and her overly chatty daughter. ’
Dan’s eyes remained ahead, keeping an eye on his son who was walking next to Maisie. ‘I don’t think it’s you and Maisie who are the issue here.’
A muscle jumped in his jaw and Anna ached for him. ‘It will come. Just . . .’ She nudged him. ‘Don’t try too hard. Be yourself.’
His shoulders slumped. ‘Damn, I’m being that dad, aren’t I? The one who keeps ploughing on with false, ridiculously over-the-top cheer while everyone around him is cringing and wishing he’d shut the hell up.’
‘You are being a bit scary.’
He gave her a wan smile. ‘Noted.’
* * *
The Lion King was a hit. At least it was with Maisie.
Dan gave his son another sideways glance.
Had he enjoyed it? It was hard to tell. He’d not fallen asleep, or asked to leave.
Nor had his eyes strayed from the stage.
Yet he hadn’t looked animated, not like Maisie with her beaming smile and twinkling eyes.
Her constant chat when they’d popped backstage to meet some of the cast.
He was starting to realise his son and he weren’t very alike.
Dan could only ever remember being confident.
An extrovert. He enjoyed talking to people.
Asked to join a room of strangers, Dan would happily go in and shake hands with the first person he saw.
Then the next, moving along until he found someone he could have more than polite conversation with.
Natalie was his opposite. Naturally shy, she preferred intimate groups than crowds.
She’d bypass the room of strangers and run straight to the ladies.
His son, he realised, took after his mother.
‘What did you think?’ he asked Max as they walked out of the theatre and into the bustling lobby. Please don’t shrug your shoulders, please don’t shrug your shoulders.
Max shrugged his shoulders. ‘It was okay.’
Dan glanced towards Anna, who smiled encouragingly at him. ‘We’re just going to the loo. Won’t be long.’
As they’d both been in the interval, Dan guessed either they had the smallest bladders known to man, or Anna was being tactful and giving him and Max a chance to be alone.
He led Max over to a quiet spot by the wall next to the exit.
‘Look how dark it is already.’ Max, predictably, didn’t say anything.
Remembering Anna’s advice about coming across as scary, Dan dropped down to the carpet, sitting with his back against the wall.
That way Max could look down on him for a change.
‘So, Max, how do you feel about checking out the Christmas lights?’
‘I don’t mind.’
Dan angled his head. ‘Have you seen them with Mum?’
‘No.’
He wasn’t sure if that was a no, thank God, or just a simple no. ‘It’s not just lights. There’s Somerset House, where we can watch people ice skate. Does that sound okay?’
Max nodded.
‘Maybe we can also find a place to drink hot chocolate. You used to like that.’ Realising he’d set himself up for another fall, Dan waited for Max to tell him he preferred tea.
But then something very special happened. Max smiled at him. ‘Cool.’
‘Yeah?’
Max nodded again, but this time it was a nod with a smile, and Dan couldn’t explain to anyone how much that moment meant to him. It felt significant, like there was a real chance he and his son could, eventually, have a proper relationship again.
At that moment Anna and Maisie appeared. Leaping to his feet, Dan took Max by the hand. ‘What is it with girls, huh? Why do they always need to pee?’
Anna looked at him aghast, and Maisie stuck her tongue out at him, but another miracle occurred. Max started to giggle.
Dan figured it was worth the wrath he’d get from the female members of the group.
London didn’t disappoint. From the soaring gold angels in Regent Street, to the bright white feathers in Bond Street, to the giant tree in Trafalgar Square, kitted out in vertical strings of Christmas lights in traditional Nordic style, London dazzled, promising magic and joy.
They took in Oxford Street too, this year ablaze with multicoloured neon rays and nearly two thousand LED-lit baubles.
So he’d read, anyway, leading him to sound fairly knowledgeable when the fact had tripped off his tongue.
Oh, and let’s not forget the spectacular carnival themed display in Carnaby Street. That was probably the best of the lot.
Now, as they drank hot chocolate next to the Fortnum and Mason tree in Somerset House, watching the skaters, Dan felt he could finally relax.
Anna looked flushed from the combination of cold air and heat from the drink. Flushed and so gorgeous he found it hard not to stare at her. When he finally dragged his eyes away, he saw Maisie, her eyes round as she stared at the skaters, and next to her Max, who was smiling more and more often.
‘Who wants a go?’ Max kept his eyes on the rink, but Anna and Maisie looked back at him as if he’d said something stupid. ‘Hey, it looks fun. And it’s early in the season. I suspect we can get on if you want to give it a try.’
At that moment there was a wail, and a child fell over on the ice.
Anna glanced back at Dan. ‘You’re sure it would be a good idea?’
‘Where’s your sense of adventure?’
Maisie, as he could have bet his house on, started to warm to the idea. ‘I’ll try it.’ She grabbed her mum’s arm. ‘Come on, Mum. It looks fun.’
‘You think falling over on freezing water is fun?’
‘Falling isn’t compulsory,’ Dan felt compelled to point out, wincing as he watched the child who’d just picked himself back up, slip over again.
‘What does compul . . . whatever mean?’
Maisie again, though he noted Max was following the conversation with interest. ‘It means it has to happen; the law or a rule. Like it’s compulsory to do your homework.’
She wrinkled her brow. ‘So it’s not the law that you have to fall over skating?’
‘It sounded funnier the way I said it but yes, that’s basically what I mean.’ He smiled over at his son. ‘I reckon if Max went skating, he wouldn’t fall over.’
‘How come?’ Maisie demanded.
‘Because he looks like a man who’s sturdy on his legs.’
After a bit more toing and froing he finally managed to convince Maisie and Anna to go. Max just smiled at him and tagged along.
They had a thankfully short wait while the current skaters came off, and then it was their turn. It only took one circuit of the rink for Anna to glare at him.
‘You’ve done this before.’
Dan tried to keep a straight face as Anna gave him her stern headmistress look. ‘I might have done.’
‘And Max.’ She nodded over to where Max was gleefully skating round and round, dodging the bumbling, unsteady skaters.
‘He’s awesome.’ Maisie, who was gripping tight to her mum’s hand, looked enviously at Max.
‘That’s because he’s been skating many times.’
‘Which you knew, because you used to take him,’ Anna supplied.
‘Which I knew, because I used to take him,’ Dan confirmed, proudly watching his son.
‘That’s why we ended up here, isn’t it? You planned this all along?’
‘I thought it might be a nice way to end the day.’
Anna surprised him then by kissing his cheek when Maisie wasn’t looking.
‘Not complaining, but why?’ he asked.
‘For being a kind, thoughtful dad.’ She smiled over to where Max was now showing off, going backwards. ‘You figured this was his chance to shine, didn’t you?’
Emotion balled and Dan had to swallow before he could talk. ‘I hoped coming back here would bring back some memories for him, as it did for me. And yes, I also hoped he’d come out of his shell a bit.’
Anna chuckled. ‘He’s certainly doing that.’
Dan gripped hold of her right hand, and then caught Maisie’s left. As they squealed, he began to skate. ‘It’s not hard, once you get the hang of it,’ he promised.
Slowly, tentatively, they set off round the rink. Maisie began to giggle. ‘Wow, I’m skating.’
‘You’d skate faster if I wasn’t acting like a brake.’ Anna began to wriggle her hand out of his grasp. ‘You guys go ahead. I’m happy to watch.’ She narrowed her eyes at him. ‘But not too fast. That is my precious daughter I’m trusting you with.’
‘Don’t worry, Mum,’ Maisie shouted as Dan began to lead her off. ‘Falling isn’t compulsory!’
Thankfully he was proved right. As they finally made their way off the ice, Max and Maisie now chatting away ten to the dozen, Dan felt a satisfied glow settle over him. It lodged itself over his heart when Anna caught his eye and gave him a wide smile.
As days went, that had to be the best he’d had in a long, long time.
And there was still the evening to go.