Chapter Twenty-Four
Dan waited alone in the sitting room, on the daft purple sofa, while Anna said goodnight to Maisie.
He realised his appearing at the school today had blindsided her and was uncomfortably aware it was likely he was only in her home again because her daughter had extended the invite.
Anna hadn’t wanted to upset her, or offend him.
Sighing, he stretched out his legs. This feeling of uncertainty, of not knowing how the woman he was seeing felt, wasn’t entirely new to him.
Natalie had given him the run around while they’d been dating, and then thrown him by asking for a divorce when he’d thought things were okay.
Since her though, the women he’d dated had made their views of him quite clear.
Then again, they’d been superficial relationships based on mutual and short-term lust.
Perhaps that was how Anna saw them, too. Perhaps it was also how he should view a relationship with a widow who had a daughter and lived a three-and-a-half-hour drive away from him. Fact was though, there was nothing superficial about his growing feelings for her.
Anna stepped back into the room and immediately the air around them felt charged.
‘Do you want another drink? I can make us a coffee?’
He hated that she seemed nervous. ‘Please just sit down.’ He patted the seat next to him. ‘We need to talk.’
‘About the newspaper article.’
‘We should start with that, yes.’ There was also the small matter of how she felt.
Whether she saw herself continuing to see him after next week or whether the fun — as she’d called it — was over for her.
Needing to reassure himself she still felt something for him, he reached for her hand, relaxing a fraction when she wrapped her fingers around his.
‘I’m sorry the school got caught up in my mess. ’
He felt her hand jerk around his, pulling away, and for a horrid moment he thought that was it.
She was going to stand up and tell him to leave.
Instead she moved closer and wrapped her arms around him, giving him a hug that lifted his hopes.
‘Heavens above, you don’t have anything to apologise for.
I’m so angry that journalist gave all your good work such a cynical spin. ’
He gave her a wry smile. ‘We both know I’m guilty of exactly what the journalist accused me of.’
‘No.’ He was shocked to hear the emotion in her voice.
‘That’s why you came to us, true, but there’s so much that shitty article has left out.
If all you wanted was good PR for helping out, why not just let Sid put on any old play?
Why bother to write a new one? Why bother to argue to have Taran, a child none of us would have thought capable of shining in a school play, in a lead role?
Why get the Performing Animals Company to come and talk to me about bringing a sheep onto the stage? ’
‘Ah. I forgot to tell you about that.’
She laughed, and he tucked her against his side, so damn pleased when he felt her relax against him.
‘All I’m saying is, those aren’t the actions of a man who’s taking advantage of his old school.
They’re the actions of a man who is genuinely trying to help the school, and the children in it, put on a production they can talk about for years to come.
’ She nudged his side. ‘Of course there’s also the small matter of you playing cupid, too.
Sid looks remarkably smart with his new haircut. ’
Dan chuckled. ‘He does, doesn’t he? What does Bridget think?’
Anna smiled. ‘I think it’s fair to say she’s started to take notice.’
‘Good.’ He ran his hand down her hair, tucking a lock behind her ear, feeling his heart race as he ordered his thoughts.
‘To be honest though, it’s not Sid and Bridget I’m interested in.
It’s us.’ Her body stilled beside him, and as he felt the tension run through her body, his heart stuttered. ‘Do you still want to see me?’
She eased away from him, shaking her head, but just as he felt the bottom fall out of his stomach, she gasped and put a hand over her mouth. ‘Oh God, I wasn’t shaking my head to say no.’
He drew in a sharp breath, trying to steady himself. ‘Then talk to me Anna, please. We left things last Wednesday with so much unsaid. You’ve got no idea how many times I reached to phone you, then stopped myself, thinking I might make things more confusing for you.’
Tears filled her eyes. ‘I enjoy seeing you, Dan.’ She pointed between them. ‘This, us, the times we’ve been together.’ Her chest heaved. ‘I never thought I’d find that sort of intimacy again. It’s been incredible.’
He smiled, though inside his hopes were slowly shrivelling. ‘There’s a but coming, isn’t there?’
‘I thought you were an optimist?’
‘Divorce and losing my job kind of knocked it out of me.’
Sympathy shone from her hazel eyes. ‘There isn’t a but, more of a . . . caution. A hesitancy that has nothing to do with how I feel about you, but comes from wondering whether we could make this work. You live in London, Max is in London.’
‘That’s just geography. We can work around it.’
‘Maybe, but it’s not only about where you live, but who you are. If you were a plumber, an office worker, a bus driver.’
He baulked. ‘What difference would that make?’
‘Come on, we move in different circles. I’m not arm candy. I’m not nightclubs and parties. I’m a head teacher who goes home at night to her daughter and is in bed with her pyjamas on by ten o’clock.’
Frustrated, he jumped to his feet. ‘Is that all you think I want? A woman to take to a damn party?’ Jesus, he didn’t even enjoy them.
It was Natalie who’d always insisted they needed to go, to raise their profile.
And as for the clubs, those days were over.
He’d gone out of desperation. A need to massage an ego bruised by his divorce and battered by his subsequent axing from Love Surgery.
* * *
She was doing this all wrong. Annoyed with herself, Anna leapt up from the sofa and reached for Dan’s hands.
‘That’s not what I think, no. Please, I’m so badly out of practice with all this.
Every time I open my mouth I seem to say something wrong.
’ She blinked, aware her emotions were running very close to the surface.
‘Heck, even when I keep quiet, it’s wrong.
Last Wednesday, you shared your feelings and I said nothing back, when I should have.
’ Taking in a deep breath, she looked into his eyes.
‘In case I haven’t made myself clear, I’m kind of crazy about you, too. ’
Surprise shot across his face, closely followed by a sort of delighted wonder that made her kick herself for not saying this last week.
It appeared it would have saved them both a miserable few days.
‘Well.’ He hit her with that smile of his, the one that could charm children, old ladies and every age in between.
‘Hearing that has just turned a shitty day into a great one.’
He kissed her then, thoroughly, completely, until he was lifting her up and she couldn’t tell where she ended and he began.
Her legs automatically wrapped around him, and he felt hot and heavy between her thighs.
‘We can’t,’ she whispered, unwilling to stop kissing him, but knowing full well they had to stop.
‘I know.’ His breathing was ragged, his mouth still greedy against hers. ‘Just let me enjoy you a while longer.’
Walking them back to the sofa he lay her down, then shifted them around so she lay on top of him.
‘I won’t rush you,’ he breathed between kisses.
‘I know you have Maisie, that I’m the first man you’ve been with since Chris.
’ He paused a moment, his hands either side of her face.
‘But this is more than just fun to me, Anna. I miss you when I’m not with you.
I need to know we can still see each other after the play is over. I’m not ready to let you go.’
Her heart swelled, absorbing the sincerity of his words, and the mixture of heat and affection in his eyes.
That Friday night when she’d first gone to bed with him, but had been unable to go further than sleeping in his arms, seemed a long time ago.
Since then she’d experienced lust, passion and the sweetness of intimacy.
Sides of her life she’d thought were over, dead and buried along with Chris.
It didn’t mean she was ready to throw herself headlong into a relationship she still couldn’t see having a future. It did mean, even if it was foolish, even if it meant her getting hurt, she was nowhere near ready to give it up. ‘I want to continue to see you, too.’
His lips met hers in a kiss that was more tender than passionate now.
A gentle press of his tongue, a teasing, seductive touch of his lips against hers.
Then he sighed against her, his arms tightening around her.
‘Can you get a sitter for Maisie tomorrow? Come back to the hotel with me after the dance lesson? I promise to feed you.’ He kissed the top of her head. ‘And seduce you.’
It was her turn to sigh. ‘That sounds perfect.’
‘Perfect would be waking up with you.’
The breath caught in her throat. Another reason seeing him was so difficult. ‘I can’t ask Val and Bob to get Maisie ready for school. It isn’t fair on them, isn’t fair on her.’
‘I know.’ There was both disappointment and understanding in his voice. ‘Do you see a time when I can stay with you, in your house. In your bed?’
She could see it too clearly, which was why she needed to reel herself back. ‘You said you wouldn’t rush me,’ she reminded him quietly, and he laughed softly.
‘Guess I’ll have to learn patience.’
They didn’t speak for a while. She lay with her head on his chest, listening to the steady bump of his heart. Feeling the way his fingers stroked gently up and down her arm.
‘Did you see Max this weekend?’ she asked after a while.
‘Yes. He stayed the night, too.’ His chest rose and fell and Anna could feel the emotion running through him. ‘We went to the Transport Museum on Sunday and he held my hand when we walked back from the Tube.’ His arms tightened around her. ‘I’m getting him back, and a lot of that is down to you.’
‘It’s not, it’s down to you, and the relationship you’d already built, but I’m glad I could help.’ She shifted her head to look at him. ‘Natalie seems much more open to you seeing him?’
He grunted. ‘We had a long talk on Sunday. She admitted she’d felt insecure, worried Max would prefer me, so she made it difficult for me to see him. But guess what, now she’s seeing someone else and suddenly it’s convenient for me to see my son so she can have some Max free time.’
‘But that’s good though, isn’t it? Unless . . .’ Oh God, was he jealous of his ex-wife’s new man? Is that why he sounded so off?
‘Unless?’ Dan looked confused, but a moment later he must have twigged because he shifted, holding her up so she was forced to look at him.
‘If you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, forget it.
I don’t have any feelings for Natalie, other than a respect for the mother of my son.
Whatever we had, divorce and her manipulation of the press have well and truly killed off. ’
‘Okay. Good. It’s just you sounded annoyed.’
‘Natalie confessed to deliberately trying to take my son away from me. It’s thanks to her interview with the journalist that all this crap is being said about me.
Of course that pissed me off. But what really gets to me, what makes me not just annoyed but angry, is that you and the school have been dragged into it.
That is not okay.’ His eyes blazed into hers, an intense blue, like the bottom of a flame.
‘I hate how the article made it look like you were stupid enough to be played by me, when nothing could be further from the truth. You outsmarted me right from the outset.’
Wow, he was riled up not for himself, but for her. Anna didn’t know what to say. For the last five years she’d had to fight her own battles, and she’d managed. She could do it. But to hear Dan angry on her behalf . . .
‘I asked Pete if we could do anything about getting them to retract the bit about the school being taken advantage of.’ His voice, sounding both resigned and frustrated, interrupted her thoughts. ‘But he felt it would only create more bad publicity for both of us.’
‘Ah. I may have taken matters into my own hands.’
Dan sat up, bringing her with him so she was sitting on his lap, looking into his concerned face. ‘What did you do?’
‘I gave the journalist the facts from my side.’ Worry started to niggle. ‘I didn’t think to tell you and Pete before I acted. I hope it hasn’t made things worse.’
His mouth curved in a wry smile. ‘I’m not just an out-of-work playboy actor who can’t be bothered to see his son.
Now I’m also the guy who manipulates a school to try and untarnish his reputation.
Not sure things could get much worse.’ He started to laugh.
‘Unless the sheep mows down a few kids as it stampedes through the audience.’
‘We’re really doing the live sheep, are we?’
‘You bet we are. If you’re okay with it, obviously,’ he tacked on with a smirk.
She searched his face. ‘And you still want to be part of the play? Because I’ll understand if you don’t. It’s hardly achieved what you were hoping.’
‘Are you kidding? I got to write a Christmas play, meet all those cool young actors. Give Sid dating advice.’ He smiled deep into her eyes. ‘Meet you,’ he added softly. ‘It’s the best thing I’ve done in a long time. I’m not going to let some scumbag journalist stop me from seeing it through.’
‘Good.’ Feeling happy, she snuggled up against his solid, warm body.
‘Besides, I want to be there, looking Sid right in the eyes when he’s forced to admit afterwards that it’s the best damn Christmas production the school has ever put on.’
‘Despite the rampaging sheep.’
He looked at her askance and they both started to laugh. It wasn’t long before the laughter turned to kissing, and kissing turned to more touching.
She was moments away from saying to hell with it, and dragging him up to her room, when he groaned and eased her off him. ‘I need to go while I still can.’
Disappointment flooded through her. Clearing her throat, she murmured. ‘You can stay.’
His eyes searched her face and he gave her a wry smile.
‘As appealing as that sounds, I need to hear it said with more conviction.’ He bent to kiss her, a gentle press of his lips against hers, taking any heat out of his words.
‘We both know you’re not ready for that yet,’ he added softly. ‘But thank you for saying it.’
He was right, she wasn’t. The bedroom they’d be sleeping in had been Chris’s.
The child sleeping down the corridor from them was Chris’s.
Yet as she waved goodbye to Dan, Anna made a mental note to ask Val and Bob if they minded putting Maisie to bed tomorrow night.
She’d come home, but only after she’d experienced another dose of Dan’s room service.