Chapter 2
Theda Calloway made her way through the wagon train, easily surpassing the speed of the wagons. They rode slowly for most of the day, and she wasn't the only person who preferred walking.
She carried a basket on her arm, filled with herbs and other plants she’d gathered on the edge of the forest. She’d allowed the wagon train to get distant, then caught up to it.
It was a tradition for her, a bit of a challenge, and a moment to clear her head while gathering much-needed medicinal herbs.
She wasn’t a doctor per se, but she was the best the wagon train had and took care of all medical emergencies. It would have made more sense for her brother to be a doctor, but even though their father had been a very good one, Phineas had never taken to it.
Speaking of Phineas, she almost ran into him as she rounded his wagon, toward the front. Her brother had stopped off to the side of the trail, and the other wagons were passing him one by one.
“Theda, there you are. I was just about to look for you. I’m dropping our wagon to the back. The Smiths are worried about being at the back tonight due to the new baby and all.” Her brother’s relief made her tense.
"You don't have to worry about me whenever I'm out of sight.
I'm capable of caring for myself," she said with a smile.
"And I am very fine with being at the back of the wagon.
I've been wanting to meet the new Smith baby.
" Theda reached out and touched her brother's arm in concern.
"Are you all right? You look a bit…tired.
" She noticed his pinched eyebrows. The way that his reddish-brown hair, so similar to hers, stuck to his forehead with sweat, and his green eyes swept their surroundings.
“I’m fine. Just worried. This is a dangerous stretch of this trail, and I know we could face all sorts of threats between here and Oregon. If there were ever a moment to be on our toes and cautious, it would be now.”
Theda frowned but didn’t protest.
“I’m going to see Della, her mother has been feeling a bit ill, and I’ve brought herbs for a tea.
After that, I’ll check on a few others before I join you at the wagon for dinner.
” Theda opened her mouth to offer more help, then closed it.
Her brother was already wary of the work she did as the wagon’s nurse.
“All right, be careful, Theda, and if you see anything out of the ordinary, you let me know.” Phineas had only finished speaking when the sound of a horse’s hooves pulled both of their attention to the side. It was Leland, her brother’s second in command and scout.
He came to a stop and dismounted.
“Howdy, Miss Calloway.” Leland tipped his hat to her, a boyish grin taking over his face. His brown hair fell over his forehead, and his light brown eyes twinkled.
“Hi, Leland.” Theda took a step back, then paused, waiting to hear Leland’s update. If anyone asked her if they should be expecting danger, she wanted to know what to tell them.
“See anything out there?” Phineas asked, breaking the momentary silence.
“Nothing to worry about. The Platte River crossing is still a week ahead. If we keep up our current pace, we should be able to arrive before the rain starts.”
“That’s good to hear.” Phineas’ shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. “I always like some good news.”
“I should be going.” Theda interrupted them. She had to check on old man Weston, who’d broken his leg a couple of days ago, and Della’s mother was expecting her.
“Where are you off to?” Leland asked. “I could walk with you.”
Theda put on a polite smile.
“That’s all right. I’m going to Della’s wagon, which isn’t far.” She noticed how Leland still came closer.
“That’s the direction I’m going. Let’s walk together.”
Theda wished she could come up with a good way to protest, but nothing seemed adequate, considering it would be pointless to turn him down, then awkwardly walk beside him to Della’s wagon if it really was where he was going.
“I’ll meet you in half an hour, Leland. We need to discuss the scout rotation for the rest of the week after I finish relocating my wagon.” Phineas called after them as they headed off toward Della’s. Once they were on their own, away from her brother, Leland cleared his throat.
“I could carry your basket for you if you’d like,” Leland said with his hands tucked into his pockets, and looked nervous.
They’d known each other for years, on account of Leland being her brother’s good friend, but Theda knew that Leland wished for more than a friendship.
She’d managed to keep his advances at bay without addressing the issue.
In some ways, she wished that his feelings would get redirected to someone else before she had to deal with it, as she didn't want to hurt Leland’s feelings or the relationship between him and their family.
“That’s all right. Della’s wagon is right up there.
” She pointed to the familiar wagon, where Della was riding in her wagon, sitting on the seat, holding the horse’s reins in her hands.
Even though Della was a widow and had a seventeen-year-old son, her age didn’t show.
There wasn’t a speck of gray in her black hair, and her brown eyes were vibrant with energy.
A grin stretched across her face when she spotted Theda and Leland.
“Can I talk to you later? Maybe we could take a walk together…” Leland tried again, but Theda was already walking up ahead, quickening her pace.
“Thank you for walking me, Leland! I’ll see you soon.” She waved to him, then hurried to Della before he could continue the conversation. She climbed up into the wagon and sat beside Della with a sigh. The older woman laughed softly.
“Leland does not give up easily, does he?”
“No. I suppose he doesn’t.” Theda shook her head. “The more I try to steer the conversation away from anything meaningful, the more he brings it back and pursues me. I don’t know what to do.”
“You could give him a chance, you know.” Della’s kind eyes turned serious. “He clearly cares for you and is a good friend of your brother. He isn’t bad to look at and has a good reputation. I hear he has land in Oregon and would be able to provide for you. It wouldn’t be the worst match.”
“I…” Theda shook her head. “Marriage isn’t something I want, Della.”
“You could change your mind; most women do. Besides, many people marry for something other than love, if that’s what you’re worried about. Being out west alone as a woman, with no husband, it’s dangerous.”
“I have my brother.” Theda shook her head as soon as she said the words, realizing how badly they sounded. “What I mean is, my brother may not be the same as having a husband, but he would never let anything happen to me.”
“You’re right.” Della shook her own head.
“But what’s the harm in giving love a chance?
If you dared to look at Leland that way, maybe he would surprise you, and you’d find yourself looking at him differently.
Love would grow on you, and then you could have something more than just a brother and a simple life in camp. ”
“Maybe a simple life is all I want.” Theda looked down at her hands, remembering the pain she’d left back in the city. Flashes of the past threatened to overwhelm her. She’d lost so much, witnessed so much, been unable to stop it. It broke her heart in a way that had refused to heal.
Love was not something she’d ever be open to again, and that meant that she would never marry. She couldn't and wouldn’t marry for something that wasn't love, so it was logical to believe that it was better to accept being alone. Besides, she liked her life.
“Well, it sounds like you have your mind made up about the man, but I wonder how he’ll take it when he truly realizes those are your feelings."
“He’s going to have to deal with it.” Theda shrugged, but despite her show of confidence, deep down, she was afraid of that.
How would Leland react when he found out that she would never view him romantically?
She could only hope he would accept rejection with grace and find someone he could fall for who would return those feelings.
That person just couldn't be her.
---*---
Theda jumped as another crack of lightning shattered the silence and a flash of light sliced through the thick wagon cover above her. She clutched the pendant she wore around her neck so tightly her knuckles ached from the inside where the metal pressed into her skin.
She hated storms, she hated the rain, and most of all, she hated lightning. But those were all three things that seemed to happen together, gathering in one fierce nightmare she had to face alone. She lay on her homemade bed in the wagon she technically shared with her brother.
Though her brother drove the wagon most of the time, he never slept there or lived there, really. He kept most of his belongings in his pack on his horse, and he usually slept under the wagon or with the other scouts, taking turns keeping watch over the wagon train at night.
That meant that while she was surrounded by wagons full of people, she was also alone, so very alone.
Despite Leland’s prediction, it seemed that the rain had decided to come early; not only had it come, but it was hitting them with a vengeance. Theda closed her eyes and began to pray in a weak and shaky voice.
Dear Lord, please help this storm pass quickly. Please give me strength and comfort during this dark time and help me to trust in You for protection. Put peace in my heart and send Your angels to protect my brother and this wagon train against any evils in our path.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Once she was done praying, she began to sing the hymn that her mother used to sing to her in the dark, when she was afraid or sick. Her mother had sat at her bedside, brushing the hair away from her face, stroking her cheeks, as she sang, hymn after hymn.
Theda closed her eyes and let her mother’s favorite hymn spill from her, savoring each of the words as if she were hearing them all over again.
Guide me, O Thou great Jehovah,
Pilgrim through this barren land.
I am weak, but Thou art mighty;
Hold me with Thy powerful hand.
As she sang, peace and strength slowly filled her, as the storm stretched on.