Chapter 9
Jem sat by the fire, watching Leland across the clearing near the horses. He’d been with the wagon train for almost ten days, and Leland still glared at him as if he wished the ground would open and swallow him whole.
Jem wasn’t Phineas’ best friend, but at least Theda’s brother didn’t seem to have any ill will toward him. Leland’s gaze flicked toward him, hard and suspicious, before returning to the conversation.
Jem tried not to let it bother him. He understood the man's caution, even if the constant glaring grew uncomfortable after a while. Phineas joined Leland and the other man.
They'd made camp for the night. The sun would set soon. Hopefully, it wouldn’t rain. The closer they got to the river, the more they dreaded the rain. Movement at the edge of the clearing caught his attention.
Theda was making her way toward the horses, her skirts brushing softly against the grass as she approached her brother. Phineas was checking the harnesses and speaking softly to one of the mares while Theda stopped beside him.
Even from a distance, Jem noticed the way Leland straightened almost immediately when she arrived. His expression changed, too. The anger faded from his face, replaced by something far softer. Interest.
Jem frowned slightly as realization settled over him.
Leland had feelings for Theda. The thought should not have bothered him nearly as much as it did.
He looked back toward the fire, poking absently at one of the burning logs with a stick. It made sense, really. Theda was kind, beautiful, and gentle in a way that drew people toward her without effort.
Of course, someone like Leland would fall for her. He had no right to wonder about it or to have feelings about it. What if he had someone special, or a wife waiting for him out there?
If he did, he wouldn’t remember her.
The thought sobered him. Even as he worried about it, he felt deep inside an assurance that he had no one romantic, whom he cared so much about. Perhaps it was simply because he thought that wasn't something he could possibly forget.
A few minutes later, footsteps approached through the grass.
Jem looked up to find Phineas walking toward him, hands tucked into his coat pockets.
“How’re the ribs tonight?” Phineas asked as he stopped beside the fire.
“Still attached, I think,” Jem answered dryly.
That earned a brief laugh from Phineas. “Well, that’s encouraging.”
He glanced back toward the wagons where Theda had disappeared.
Jem had managed to secure a cautious but true start of a friendship with Phineas.
The other man seemed more than tolerant of his presence.
Sometimes, when they all had a coffee around the fire with one another, they almost seemed like old friends.
Phineas cleared his throat and started talking.
“Theda’s going to be busy with patients most of tomorrow.
Mrs. Weston’s fever came back, and one of the Miller boys twisted his ankle pretty badly today.
” Phineas paused for a moment. “If you’re feeling up to it, I thought maybe you could drive the wagon for a few hours tomorrow morning while she checks on people. ”
Jem straightened immediately.
“You trust me to do that?”
Phineas nodded. “You’ve been improving, and sitting around too long will probably drive you mad anyway.”
A grin tugged unexpectedly at Jem’s mouth.
“I’d be happy to help.” To his own surprise, he meant it wholeheartedly. The thought of finally being useful again sent relief rushing through him.
Phineas studied him for a moment, as if measuring the sincerity in his reaction. Across the clearing, Leland glanced their direction again, his expression darkening.
Phineas sighed under his breath.
“Don’t pay too much attention to him,” he said quietly. “Leland takes a while to warm up to people. Especially strangers.”
“He seems to dislike me quite a bit more than most strangers.”
“That’s because he’s overprotective,” Phineas replied. “Particularly where my sister is concerned.”
Jem’s gaze drifted briefly toward the wagon again.
“I noticed.”
Phineas’ eyes narrowed slightly, though amusement flickered there too.
“He’ll get used to you eventually. Or at least learn to glare less often. Either way, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.”
“All right.” Jem chuckled. “I’ll be ready tomorrow morning.”
Phineas tipped his hat to Jem, then headed off into the evening. Once he was alone, Jem let out a long breath. He may have no idea where he came from or where he was headed before, but maybe he could build a new identity and new goals with the wagon train.
The people had been kind enough to him, and he had nowhere better to go for the time being. He glanced toward the Bible he'd taken to reading in every spare moment he had.
It meant so much to Theda; he was starting to wonder what about it was so special. Maybe it would help shake something loose about his past.
---*---
A fire roared, burning flames licking at him, at his arms, his legs.
“Please! Don’t do this! Don’t leave us here.
” Broken sobs reached him through the dark, breaking his heart as tears filled his eyes and choked him.
He couldn’t see anything. Thick smoke in every direction was all that filled his senses.
Flashes of orange flames jumped within the smoke, punctuated by screams.
He tried to find the person screaming, to help them, but they were so far away. He put one foot in front of another, drawing closer to whoever it was that was so desperate.
He was nearly there, so close, he could almost feel his fingers closing around the person’s hand, and then someone was in front of him. Someone terrible with stormy eyes, so full of anger it spilled out of them.
“Brother! You know what to do,” the man said. The words were violent, angry, and made him shiver. He couldn’t stop himself.
He didn’t want to do what the man was asking .
Jem sat straight up, panting hard. Sweat poured down his face, and his hands shook. The nightmare had been so vivid, so easy to see, like it was right in front of him, demanding his attention.
He swallowed hard. Was it a memory? Had that happened? Did he have a brother? He was buried in questions. He peered out the back of the wagon, through the opening in the canvas.
The black, stormy sky offered him no answers. If he did have a brother, was he looking for him? Did he want to be found? Of course, he wanted to know if he had family out here, so why did it feel like that would be the last thing he wanted?
The soft pitter-patter of rain on the roof of the wagon cover made him lie back and stare up at the sky above him. He wondered if Theda was safe and comfortable in her friend's wagon. It was his fault she’d been displaced. Guilt tugged at his heart.
He’d recovered enough to stop needing special treatment. He tossed and turned for a while, till he decided that sleeping was something he wouldn’t be able to get done, at least not right away. The nightmare had left him agitated and anxious.
He lit the lamp and pulled out the big Bible that Theda had once again left in the wagon on his request. He opened it up to where he'd left off and began to read. The words of the Bible settled in his soul, giving him peace, at least for the night.