Chapter 29 #3
Theda got her knees under her and pulled Nora with her, scrambling backward around the wagon until the wood was solid between them and the riders. She pressed Nora flat against it and crouched in front of her, breathing hard.
“Don't move,” she said. “Don't move from this spot.”
Nora's face was white and streaked with dirt and she nodded, her whole body shaking.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“N…no.” Nora’s lip trembled “I was with Ma and Pa, but one of the bad men took Pa. Then Edmund ran out and I tried to find him. I couldn’t find him. Do you think he is okay?”
“I don’t know. Did the bad man take your pa away from camp? Did Edmund come with you this way?” Theda kept her hands on Nora’s shoulders, trying to calm the brave little girl down. She was going to find Edmund. Having something to do, gave her a renewed sense of purpose.
“I think so. I saw him and then I…” Nora broke into tears. Theda was grateful when Della stepped forward, pulling the girl into her arms.
“I have to look for Edmund.”
“You’re going back out there? Theda, it’s not a good idea.’
“He’s four. He needs help.” Theda hated that the children had to know that people were after their parents in the first place. She couldn't imagine forgiving herself if something happened to Edmund.
“Go. I’ll watch Nora, but be careful. If anything happens to you, Leland, Jem, Phineas, they’ll never forgive me.”
Theda nodded, then turned back to the chaos, she made her way around the wagon, and back into the fray.
There were men and women rushing around, trying to keep the men from burning their wagons.
Theda realized in horror that the gang was lighting wagons on fire.
She searched frantically for Edmund. He had to be there somewhere.
Then she heard him.
His cry came from somewhere across the open space between the supply wagon and the Crenshaw wagon, high and thin and terrified, the particular sound of a small child who has lost sight of every person he trusts. She looked across the gap.
He was crouched against a wheel on the far side, his knees pulled to his chest, his face turned toward the noise of the battle with tears running down it. Six, maybe eight feet of open ground between them. A gap that had riders crossing it.
Theda looked at it.
Then she went.
She came out from behind the wagon low and fast, her boots finding the ground and pushing off it, her scraped arm pulled in tight.
The noise hit her all at once out in the open, the full weight of it, the horses and the shouting and the crack of gunfire with nothing between her and it anymore, and she felt none of it.
Her mind was somewhere else, imagining what Phineas was going through, wondering if Jem was still alive, if Leland had been injured.
The men, would all risk everything to keep everyone safe. It made her heart ache, and her head panic. She fought to focus. She put her gaze on Edmund, putting all of her energy there. She made herself see only the small boy against the wheel and the ground between them shrinking under her feet.
She reached him and dropped to her knees and got both arms around him.
“I've got you,” she said into his hair. “I've got you, you're all right.”
He grabbed fistfuls of her dress and held on with everything he had.
“Where’s my ma?” he cried.
“It’s okay. “I’m going to take you to Nora.” She couldn't promise him his ma. She had no idea where Caleb Crenshaw was, she didn't know where the parents were. She hated to imagine what might have appended, where they were to leave him behind.
“I want my ma,” Edmund cried into her dress. She held him tight, hoping her hug would hold him together.
She got her feet under her and ran back, Edmund against her chest, his face pressed into her shoulder, and came around the wagon and pressed them both flat against it beside Nora. Edmund was still crying, silently now, his whole body shaking against her.
She held him and looked back at the open ground she'd just crossed.
Her hands were steady. She noticed that with some distant part of her mind. Her arm was bleeding where she’d hurt herself and her knees were bruised .
She pulled Edmund closer and kept her eyes on the gap. Then she passed Edmund to Nora, who gave him a tight hug. Della hugged both the children, as Theda turned her attention to the chaos outside of their hiding spot. People were hurt. She could hear it in the air; she could feel it.
They needed her. So many would need her. But how could she get to them? How could she help them when she’d promised both Phineas and Jem she’d stay safe? She looked over at the Crenshaw children.
She’d been able to help them and she was still fine. Maybe she could help others who were on the edges or weren’t in the main fight. Her heart leapt in her chest, and she glanced up at the sky. They needed help, she needed the fight to be over, to know they were all okay.
How much longer, God? How much longer till I know?
She drew in a sharp breath. She had to stay focused. The more she focused on helping others, the less she would focus on her own fear, and how terrified she really was. She just had to make it about how she could help, and she would get through it, she was certain.