21. Aurora
AURORA
Ialways forget how cold a classroom gets in December until I’m stuck in the back row with numb fingers, trying to focus on the professor’s voice instead of the way the heat never seems to reach this side of the room.
“Alright,” he says, shutting his laptop. “That’s all for today.”
Chairs scrape across the floor almost instantly. Half the class is already on their feet before he’s even finished speaking, everyone desperate to get out of this freezing lecture room at the end of a long day.
I’m sliding my notebook into my tote when his voice cuts through the noise.
“Aurora? Could you stay for a moment?”
My hand stills on the zipper, and I glance up toward the front of the room, my pulse racing.
Does he know?
I shove my laptop into my bag and wait for the room to clear before I head down to the front.
“You wanted to see me?” I ask, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear because suddenly I have no idea what to do with my hands.
He turns, and his brows lift when he sees me standing there. “Yes. I wanted to talk to you about your last essay. It was excellent work.”
My heart jumps a little. “Oh.” I clear my throat. “Uh… thank you.”
“You engage with the material instead of sitting there half asleep or staring at your phone,” he says, leaning back against his desk. “Which is why I wanted to ask you something.”
He reaches for a sticky note, scribbles something onto it, then looks back up at me.
“My TA graduates next week, so I’ll need someone for next semester.” His gaze settles on mine. “And I think you’d be a great fit, if you’re interested.”
I blink at him. “You want me to be your TA?”
“For my freshman class,” he says with a nod. “We can work around your schedule.” He holds out the note. “Email me tonight. I’ll loop you in with the department chair and send over the TA handbook.”
I take the note and glance up at him, swallowing hard when he smiles at me. Apparently I’ve forgotten how to speak, because I just stare at him until he nods and says, “Have a good afternoon, Aurora.”
I blink out of my thoughts and tuck the sticky note between the pages of my notebook before I turn to leave. My phone starts buzzing in my bag just as I push open the door, and I reach for it.
Cole:
Wanna fuck?
I huff out a laugh, moving off to the side of the path so I don’t get steamrolled by the crowd heading home.
Me:
Wanna fuck off?
Cole:
Don’t act like you weren’t gagging on my cock two nights ago, Prescott.
Heat curls in my stomach at the reminder.
Sneaking around with him has been such a pain in the ass. I couldn’t even escape the lying when I went home for Thanksgiving last week, because I had to keep up the whole act about being at Northwood instead of Colton.
I’m constantly lying to everyone around me and it’s exhausting. A few nights ago, Isabella caught me heading out and asked where I was going. I lied and told her I was going to see a movie.
Her eyes lit up and she told me she’d been dying to see the new chick flick that was just released. She texted Maisie to join us and I waited until they both got ready.
Which is how I ended up wedged between my two best friends, watching the most boring movie while I counted down the minutes until I could get out of there and go get railed by the guy I used to fantasize about shoving down a flight of stairs.
Embarrassing doesn’t even begin to cover it.
The second we got home and I heard Isabella’s bedroom door click shut, I grabbed my keys, slipped back out, and went to his place.
His front door had barely closed before he hauled me up, my legs locking around his thighs while his hands gripped my ass and carried me straight to the bed.
My clothes hit the floor in seconds, and then he was between my legs.
I don’t know what we’re doing.
I don’t know what to call it.
And I definitely wouldn’t know how to explain it to anyone else.
Maybe that’s part of why I haven’t told anyone. As long as it stays in my head, I can pretend it’s not real.
“Aurora?”
I glance up from my phone and freeze.
Because standing right in front of me, is Chase.
My stomach drops the moment my eyes meet his, but I don’t slow down. I hitch my bag higher on my shoulder and turn away from him.
“Babe, come on,” he calls after me.
I have no choice but to stop when he jogs around me and blocks my path.
“Alright, I get it. I fucked up.” He lets out a breath, dragging a hand through his hair. “I just want to talk, Aurora.”
“By all means,” I mutter, stepping around him, “go talk to someone who gives a shit.”
My feet skid when his hand closes around my arm and yanks me back toward him. I whip around and wrench myself free, glaring at him. “Get off me.”
His expression hardens. “Just…” He groans and drags a hand down his face. “Just listen to me, goddamn it. It was a mistake, alright?”
I let out a short, disbelieving laugh. “Which time? Because I know for a fact that wasn’t the first. So how many, Chase? How many times did you cheat on me?”
His gaze slips away, landing anywhere but my face. He drags a hand over his jaw, lets out a breath, then finally looks back at me. “Three,” he says. “It only happened three times. I swear.”
I scoff. That’s such bullshit. There’s no way in hell it was only three times in the two years we’ve been apart. Still, some small part of me wonders if he’s actually telling the truth. He has nothing left to lose with me, so lying now would be pointless.
But it doesn’t matter.
One time would’ve been enough.
And I’m not that girl. I’m not the girl who forgives, forgets, and talks herself into believing he’ll be different next time.
Cole’s voice cuts through my head, calling me pathetic for defending Chase at the start of the semester. It got under my skin because the worst part was that I’d always thought the exact same thing about girls who stayed with guys who cheated on them.
And then I unknowingly became one of them.
Chase steps closer and lowers his voice. “Just come by my hotel room later. I just want to talk, Aurora. Please. You owe me that. After three years, you owe me that much.”
My mouth actually falls open.
“I owe you?” I repeat, and a hollow laugh tears out of me. “After three years, you owed me loyalty. At the very least, you owed me the truth.”
His shoulders dip. “Babe, please. Let’s just—”
“Fuck you,” I snap, shoving at his chest before I turn and walk away.
By the time I make it back to my apartment, my head is still buzzing from seeing Chase.
The look on his face keeps flashing back at me, making my jaw clench.
I still can’t believe he had the audacity to stand there and tell me I owed him anything.
Whatever I owed Chase, I paid already. And whatever he thinks he deserves from me now, he can sit in that shitty hotel room and keep waiting, because he’s not getting another second of my time.
I unlock the door, step inside, and kick off my boots.
Isabella looks up from the couch. “Hey. You okay?”
“Yeah,” I lie, already shrugging out of my coat. “Just cold. And hungry.”
She chuckles, tugging the blanket higher. “You’re going to the game tonight, right?”
She doesn’t say the rest, but she doesn’t need to. Chase will be there. That’s the whole reason he’s in town, why he’s suddenly sniffing around again, trying to worm his way back into my life.
I drop my bag on the table and shrug out of my coat. “Yeah. I still like hockey.” I grab a hair tie from the bowl by the door and twist my hair up. “He doesn’t get to ruin that for me too.”
Isabella smiles. “Good.” She pushes up from the couch, still wrapped in the blanket. “I’m going to take a nap before we go. I need energy for tonight.”
She disappears into her room, as soon as her door clicks shut, I let out a breath and head for mine.
I change out of my jeans and top, pull on an oversized T-shirt and a pair of sweats, then grab my laptop and press play on my annual rewatch of Hunter x Hunter.
I hit pause a few minutes later when I hear a knock on the front door, and I blink, confused. It’s probably Ryan, so I climb out of bed and head toward the door, but when I pull it open, I’m stunned to silence when I see Cole Ellis standing in the hallway.
His jaw flexes as he chews on a piece of gum. For as long as I’ve known him, he’s always had a piece in his mouth, and for a fleeting second, I can’t help but wonder why.
But then his eyes flick over me, and I’m suddenly very aware of the fact that I’m in sweats, my hair shoved into a messy bun, looking nothing like I usually do around him.
“What are you doing here?” I whisper, keeping my voice down.
“You didn’t answer my text.”
My eyes narrow. “So that means you just show up at my apartment?”
I dart a quick glance down the hallway. It’s empty, but my heart is still pounding.
“You can’t be here.”
Before he can say anything else, I grab his wrist and yank him inside, shutting the door behind him before anyone can come out into the hall. Before Isabella wakes up.
His lips tilt. “Someone’s eager.”
“Shut up,” I snap, dragging him toward my bedroom. “I’m serious.” I shove the door closed behind us and lock it, then turn and glare at him. “I have a roommate, remember? One who has no idea we’re hooking up.”
“I remember,” he says, slipping his hands into his pockets as he looks around my room.
For the first time since this whole mess between us started, I feel uncomfortable.
Being naked with him is one thing. Letting him touch me in the dark, against locked doors, is easy in comparison to him standing in my bedroom, analyzing everything about me.
His eyes move over the posters on my wall until they land on the poster of my favorite band above my dresser, and he lets out a quiet snort. “Those guys suck.”
I narrow my eyes. “Good to know you have shit taste.”
One corner of his mouth lifts, but his attention shifts to the canvas I have propped up, and his head tips slightly as he takes in the piece.
“Nah,” he says. “I just like things with talent He gestures toward the canvas with a nod. “I like this.”