40. Aurora #2
He drops down beside me a second later, one arm falling over his face while he catches his breath, and I turn my head on the pillow to look at him.
He glances at me and smiles, then reaches for my hand, threading our fingers together before lifting it to his mouth and pressing a kiss to my knuckles so gently it makes my eyes flutter shut.
“Wow,” I tease, unable to stop smiling. “You really love me, don’t you?”
A laugh slips out of him and he tugs me in against his side. “Shut up.”
I grin and trace my fingers over his chest. “You’re being weirdly soft.”
“Now that you’re my girlfriend, I can be as soft as I want.”
I tilt my head back and blink up at him. “Your girlfriend?”
He arches a brow. “Did me telling you I love you not make that obvious?”
I stare at him for a second, then lift one shoulder. “I don’t know. Feels like I need more here. Maybe a boombox. Maybe a basket of puppies. A blood oath.”
His mouth twitches. “Was me publicly humiliating myself in the middle of the rink not enough for you?”
“It was a strong start,” I admit. “But if you’re asking me something, ask it properly.”
He shifts until he’s half over me again, one hand braced beside my head, the other sliding into my hair, and then he looks down at me with that look that always makes my stomach flutter like crazy.
“Alright then,” he says. “Will you make me the happiest man in the world and be my girlfriend, Prescott?”
I try to hold out. I really do.
But then his thumb brushes over my cheek, his eyes never leaving mine, and my smile slips free before I can stop it.
“Yeah,” I whisper, still looking up at him. “I’ll be your girlfriend.”
His mouth curves into a smile, and he leans in and kisses me again, slower this time. Just his lips moving against mine, lingering, tasting, his tongue sliding into my mouth like he wants to savor every second of it.
When he pulls back, I stay curled into him, my leg sliding over his, my fingers drifting lazily along the lines of his stomach.
For a minute, neither of us says anything.
It’s just the sound of our breathing, but then his hand moves slowly up my back, his mouth brushes my temple, and he whispers, “Tell me what happened with your dad.”
Just hearing the word dad makes my stomach drop. I go still, my hand flattening against his skin.
His hand pauses on my back for a second before he starts moving again.
“You don’t have to tell me,” he says. “I’ve just been thinking about it since that day.
And earlier, on the bench…” He leans back enough to look at me.
“You said he wanted nothing to do with you.” His eyes search mine. “What happened?”
I let out a slow breath and look down at his chest because it’s easier than looking straight at him while I say this. “I told him I was his daughter and he just…” I shake my head. “He asked if I wanted money.”
Cole goes still beneath me, but he doesn’t interrupt. He just keeps his hand moving over my back.
“He told me he has a family now,” I say, swallowing hard. “That he didn’t want to be a father back then, and me showing up like that was inappropriate.”
I drag in a shaky breath. “I think that was the part that really broke me. Not even just that he didn’t want me. It was how easy it was for him to say it. Like I was nothing. Like I was some old coat he could shove to the back of a closet and forget about because it didn’t fit his life anymore.”
A dry laugh slips out of me. “I walked out of there feeling so stupid. I’d built that moment up in my head for so long, ever since I was a kid, and some part of me always thought there had to be a reason.
Some big explanation for why he wasn’t around.
Maybe he didn’t know about me. Maybe he didn’t know where we were. ”
I lift my eyes to Cole and find his jaw clenched, his gaze fixed on me.
“But there wasn’t.” My throat tightens. “He knew. He just didn’t want me.”
He cups my face, his thumb brushing under my eye.
“He’s a fucking idiot,” he says. “He doesn’t deserve to know you, because you are so easy to love, Aurora.
” His jaw tightens as he looks at me. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and he should be thanking God every day that you walked into his office.”
A broken sound catches in my throat, and he wipes the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs.
“One day he’s going to realize what he lost,” he says. “And it’s going to haunt him.” I squeeze my eyes closed, and he leans in to press a kiss to my forehead. “Do you regret telling him?” he asks.
I think about that office. The look on his face. The disappointment. The coldness in his voice. And still…
“No,” I whisper. “I regret how much time I spent thinking about him. I regret that I let myself want more from him. But I don’t regret knowing. I don’t regret finding out what kind of person he really is.”
For so long, I carried around this version of him that never even existed.
And if I’m being honest, I think part of me resented my mom for that, for keeping him from me, for shutting down every time I asked, but I know now she was just trying to protect me.
She was doing the best she could, raising me on her own after he walked away from both of us.
“There’s been this hole in my chest my whole life,” I say quietly, staring down at the place where my fingers rest against his chest. “And I think some part of me really believed that if I found him, if I looked him in the eye and he finally knew about me, it would fix something. Like maybe that emptiness would start to close up.” I swallow hard.
“But I don’t think it works like that. I think…
” My voice thins out. “I think that hole is probably always going to be there.”
Cole’s hand slides into my hair, easing my face up until I have to look at him.
“Maybe it never goes away completely,” he says. “Maybe some days it still aches. But I don’t believe for a second it has to stay empty.” The rough pad of his thumb brushes over my lips. “Not when there are so many people who love you. Not when I love you.”
My breath catches.
“And I know I can’t fix what he broke,” he says, quieter now. “I know that. But if you let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to fill that hole.”
My nose scrunches. “That sounds gross.”
He blinks, then lets out a short laugh, dropping his forehead to mine. “Jesus Christ.” His thumb brushes my cheek. “You know what I mean. I’ll love you hard enough that he never gets to be the reason you feel empty again.”
My throat tightens, and I swallow as he leans in, brushing his mouth over mine in the softest kiss I’ve ever had.
“Set your heart ablaze, Prescott,” he murmurs against my lips.
My eyes fly to his.
Of all the things I expected to come out of Cole’s mouth in a moment like this, that was not one of them.
His brows tug together. “What?”
“Did you just quote Demon Slayer at me?”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “Can’t get that show out of my head,” he admits. “I watched it because it reminded me of you, but the more I watched it… the more addicted I was.”
And weirdly, somehow, that makes my chest hurt even more. Because I avoided watching anime because it reminded me of him too much, but he wanted to be reminded of me.
I laugh, and his thumb slides over my cheek again, and he kisses me before I can say anything else, and I kiss him back, letting myself fall into him before I pull away just enough to look at him.
“You don’t taste like smoke,” I point out.
The corner of his mouth lifts. “Trying to quit. Apparently it’s bad for you or something,” he says with an eye roll.
My brows go up. “Uh-oh. So you’re about to start chewing way more gum than usual?”
He lets out a quiet laugh and shakes his head. “Nah. Don’t need it anymore now that I have you.”
My brows pull together. “What do you mean?”
He looks at me for a second like he’s deciding whether or not to say it, then lets out a breath.
“I used to get panic attacks a lot in high school,” he says.
“My coach told me chewing gum could calm your nervous system down. Said when your body thinks you’re eating, it stops thinking you’re in danger, because people don’t exactly sit down for a snack in the middle of a life-threatening situation. ”
A tiny smile tugs at my mouth. “That’s… weirdly smart.”
“Yeah.” He brushes his nose against mine. “It worked too.” His hand slides to the back of my neck. “But I think you work even better.”
A laugh breaks out of me. “That was smooth.”
He grins. “Yeah?”
I nod, smiling up at him, unable to believe he’s really mine. The words sit so full in my chest, they ache and I just need to get them out. “I love you,” I whisper.
He holds my gaze for what feels like forever before letting out a deep relieved sigh. “God, I’m so in love with you, Prescott,” he murmurs, sliding his hand to my cheek before kissing me again.
And for the first time in my life, it feels like that hole in my chest is finally getting filled.
Okay, no. That still sounds gross.