Chapter 19
LEILANI
The blue dress looks like it's on backward, with its round neckline, a loose fit, and a length that makes it look like a hospital robe.
It looks horrible on me, and I don’t even remember having it in my closet. Nona must’ve had it stashed away from days like these when I’ve got my ass handed to me.
What a horrific experience it has been.
The alcohol has vanished from my system, taking away with it the soothing numbness, and leaving me with strange emotions that bite into me like shards of glass.
I wanted this man so much, and what did I get?
An icy-cold, heartless man who didn’t even blink when I shed my clothes for him.
Is he made of stone? Steel? A slab of concrete?
I hated seeing him so close to me. A hair away from me. Torn. Pondering, Teetering on the edge.
And yet, he pushed me away with his frosted words and sentenced me to spending the rest of my life in hell.
Having zero power over him has left me broken in more ways than I can describe.
What brought him to me then?
Is he that moral of a man? Is he my grandfather’s secret tool? Is he doing them a favor and expecting something in return?
Was he that annoyed that I seduced Paxton Maclean, and also worried that it might reflect negatively on him?
Is he all about business, not making mistakes, and throwing anyone under the bus if they can’t serve a purpose in his life?
My heart cries a little.
It’s not like I’ve never experienced disappointment.
It is part of my daily life.
I became familiar with it when I was little, before I knew a lot about the adults' salacious games.
But this?
Wasn’t he jealous?
He looked like a jealous man.
For sure, his intervention wasn’t about protecting me as much as it was about not letting another man touch me.
Confused, I run a pale, cold hand through my hair.
I look like shit, my skin translucent, no flush of blood in my cheeks, dark circles around my eyes. My hair looks like a wet broom, and blue is not my color.
A long sigh leaves my lips as I stare in the mirror, trying to make sense of this evening.
Of him and me.
There is no him and me.
Fight.
What are you talking about, Callum?
It’s easy for you to speak.
You’re a powerful man, with loyal guards, money, and experience. You’ve been at this for a while. You know how to play this game,
I can’t even play you.
Oh… I hate him. I hate men. Never thought they were so boneheaded. In light of my new experience, I have renewed admiration for my late mother.
No one thought much of her seductive powers. In fact, they had always been perceived as a huge headache.
Men who lost their minds because of her.
Men who risked their lives and took a bullet for her.
Men who implored her to give them a chance.
Everyone thought nothing about her ability to make them fall for her.
I wish I had a fraction of that.
The fact that Callum O’Hara has never fallen for her tricks should’ve been a solid warning.
I should’ve paid more attention to that.
Silly, silly girl.
This man has no heart.
And he’s also up to something.
There is no way he’s still part of our family for nothing.
I wish I knew what that was.
If I had known that, maybe blackmailing him would have worked where other methods failed.
Although I don’t want to coerce him. That’s not like me. I want him to lose his head over me and compel me to be with him.
A small smile tickles my lips.
That would never happen, but wouldn’t it be nice?
My smile all but fades as the reality of my situation hits me like a brick.
Having my hands propped on the edge of the vanity, I stare into the eyes of a woman without options as I slowly shake my head.
I hate him for the way he makes me feel.
For how he gets me trapped without even trying, and I’m left squirming in his orbit.
Soft noises come from outside the bathroom.
I freeze and listen. Footsteps cross the bedroom. It can’t be him.
He wouldn’t come back for me, and plus, these are light steps. Could it be Rory? I hope not.
I'd need to explain the atrocity I’m wearing, why my hair is wet, and why I look like a ghost.
The footsteps trail out of the room, and soon after, the rooms are quiet, and so is the corridor outside.
A few moments pass before I slip out of the bathroom, check the bedroom, and head out in perfect silence.
The party must’ve wound down as I hear the sweet murmuring of the breeze rather than the guests’ words.
I glide quietly down the corridor, sunk in thought, when an arm shoots at me from the shadows, and a voice blares in my ears.
“Where the fuck were you, Leilani?”
Startled, I pull away from the woman who has seemingly lost her mind.
I’ve never seen Sylvia so unhinged.
Her eyes look like spinning black holes, her brow crumpled like a rag.
She lost her elegance and poise.
“Where do you think I was, crazy woman?” I say, stepping away from her.
Her eyes dip to my dress.
“I fell into the pool and had to change,” I say in response to her scrutinizing gaze. “Has everyone gone nuts this evening?”
Her stare moves up.
“Who else has gone nuts this evening?”
“No one.”
“Where were you?”
“I just told you.”
“Where did you fall into the pool?”
“In the back.”
With that, I shift away.
“Who were you with?” she tosses behind me.
“Leave me alone, Sylvia,” I say, walking away.
She rushes after me and grabs my arm again, and this time, I turn to her, flames shooting from my eyes.
“Listen to me, Sylvia. I’m sick and tired of your games and treating me like I’m your property.
You and your genius husband weren’t able to raise your daughter right.
You’ve made so many mistakes with her, and now you’re doing the same with me.
You sent me away. I went away. Never bothered anyone.
And now you’re coming to me with your stupid expectations to marry some motherfucker I wouldn’t share a plate of food with.
Yeah, yeah. I saw those old men. Disgusting.
Who the fuck do you think you are to ask that of me?
You want to cut a deal with one of those old farts to gain something in return?
Then make it worthwhile for me. And more so, watch your manners.
I don’t care about how you handle me. And by the way, your threats mean nothing to me.
You know nothing other than coercing people into doing what you want, but you forgot something.
I’ve got nothing to lose. You want to put a hit on me?
Do it. I’d rather be dead than suck some psychopath’s cock for the collective good of the family.
Fuck you and the family. What about that?
You didn’t do that to Bianca. She bedded any man with a pulse that caught her eye.
All you did was get a new pair of shovels every year, so you could bury them faster.
And now you’re pulling this little trick on me?
You have no idea who you’re dealing with, you crazy old woman.
And that goes for your mafioso husband, too. Fuck you both.”
She looks at me like she has a dead frog in her mouth, a mix of stupor and resentment on her face.
I step back and almost leave before I glance at her again.
“And don’t scowl at me like that. You’re in no position to tell me what to do.
Put your own house in order first. You were so proud of putting a leash on Giorgio.
Everyone in this house knows he’s cheated on you throughout your marriage.
Not here, of course. The man is so afraid of you, shaking in his boots.
Woo, woo,” I say mockingly. “And no. They haven’t talked to me, so don’t go after them.
Poor souls have been scared shitless by bearing the weight of your filthy secrets.
But he’s no different than any other man, as much as you aren’t special. So back off, all right?”
I leave her in the hallway, unsure whether she’s still breathing or not, probably without a pulse, and as I walk down the corridor, it finally dawns on me what fighting looks like.
Callum has made me a huge favor this evening by freeing me from the illusion of him and handing me the ammunition to face these people.
Truly.
I didn’t know it would be so easy.
I taste blood on my lips and love it, wanting more of it.
I feel the power lurching through my veins and get drunk on that feeling, swiftly getting addicted to it.
I'm tasting authentic, unrepentant freedom for the first time in my life.
Spelling out the truth without imposed restrictions and the constraints of self-limiting beliefs.
Maybe my fighting is not Callum’s fighting, but for sure, it goes the way I imagine that it should.
Balls out. Fearless. Stopping at nothing to get what I want. Let everyone know that they can’t mess with me.
Everything I said to her was honest.
They want to kill me.
Fine.
Freedom is what I love. And freedom is what I’ll get.
Whether Callum O'Hara stands by me or not.
End of Book 1
Thank you for reading The Heart of a Villain (Code of Honor). The story continues and concludes with The Strength of a Woman (Code of Honor 2)