Chapter 24 #2
“Well,” I smile, this guy seems just so wonderfully…normal. No bodyguards, no baggage and there is absolutely no heart left for him to break. “It’s nice to meet you, Brennan.”
“After we finish our drinks would you like to go and get some dinner?”
“Um.” I glance around in search for a reason not to.
Oh, that’s right…. There are none. I’m a free agent who can do whatever the fuck I want to. I’m single, painstakingly heartbrokenly single, and maybe Helene is right.
Maybe the best way to get over Edward Prescott is to get under someone else.
“That sounds lovely.”
EDWARD
I stare at the graph on my computer screen and add a comment in the drop box.
Knock, knock, sounds at the door.
“Yes,” I call.
The door opens. “Hello, Edward.”
I know that voice, I glance up to see Paul walking into my office.
“What are you doing here?” I snap.
“Your brother has called me, apparently something is currently transpiring with you.”
“Nope.” I keep typing. “Go back to London, I’m fine.”
“Okay.” He sits down, ignoring my request.
“Leave please. I’m very busy.”
I can feel his eyes on me as he looks me over. “Does this have to do with Alora?”
“No.” I keep typing to evade his glare.
“So are you still seeing her?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I am not interested in a relationship and she wants more.” I shrug. “Wanted.”
“Wanted as in past tense?”
“I guess.”
“So she doesn’t want that anymore?”
“No.” I exhale and keep typing.
“How does that make you feel?”
Crazy.
“I don’t care.”
“You don’t care?”
“No.”
“You know, Edward, real love is messy, and not everyone is brave enough to let themselves feel it.”
My heart sinks.
“Just get out,” I whisper.
“You have come so far and you are so close.”
I close my eyes to block him out.
“What’s the worst that could happen…. You get your heart broken?”
I clench my jaw.
“From where I stand, your heart is already breaking by not being with her.”
My eyes hold his.
“Are you really going to let her go?”
“She’s better off without me.”
“But are you better off without her?”
I swallow a lump in my throat. “I just don’t need to deal with this shit today.” I turn back to my computer and begin typing. “If I wanted to see you I would have come to London. You’ve wasted your time coming here.”
“Everyone is worried about you.”
“No need to be.” I hit the computer key with force. “I’m fine.”
“Okay, that’s fine. You keep hiding from your emotions.” He stands. “Throw away five years of our work together because you are too stubborn to let your heart out in the open. Too afraid to love someone.”
The computer screen blurs. “Get out.”
The door clicks as he closes it behind him and his words hang in the air like an echo. Your heart is already breaking by not being with her.
Make it stop.
An Alora-less life is a sad existence.
I sit in my car and stare through the windscreen as I watch her cross the road.
She’s talking to Helene and laughing as they walk along together, she has a takeaway coffee in her hand.
She’s back, and while she looks refreshed and happy, I’ve had two weeks of feeling like the world is coming to an end.
Complete insanity.
Her long dark hair is swept up into a ponytail and just the sight of her beautiful face flutters my stomach. She’s wearing a cream cashmere turtleneck and a chocolate skirt with long, dark brown suede boots.
So classically Alora.
How does she always look so effortlessly perfect?
I’m ashamed to say it, but as soon as I saw her morning video this morning saying she was back, I came straight here…I literally couldn’t help myself.
I had to see her.
She walks into her store and my heart drops in disappointment.
I close my eyes; I need to get a handle on this obsession.
This isn’t healthy.
ALORA
We walk into the store.
“Oh my god,” Helene whispers. “What is he doing here?”
“Who?” I frown.
“Didn’t you see? Edward was sitting in the car up the street, watching you.”
“He was not.”
“He is.” She drags me to the front window. “See?” We peer out the front window and sure enough I see him sitting in his Bentley, elbow on the window, looking forlorn.
My heart begins to beat hard.
“What the hell is he doing?” I whisper. “Is he going to come in or…?”
“Go and find out.” She pushes me toward the door.
Before I can stop myself, I storm out and up the street to the car. I get in the passenger seat and slam the door. His big blue eyes find mine and instantly I’m reminded of what he means to me.
Of how much is at stake here.
“What are you doing?” I ask, I can feel stupid tears are simmering dangerously close to the surface.
“I just um….” He stops himself with a shake of his head.
“Edward.” My eyes search his. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I’m going to tell you what’s going on with me.”
His teeth catch his bottom lip as he listens.
“We’re not right for each other,” I whisper.
“I know that.”
“No, stay quiet. You will listen to me this time. I have had two weeks alone to think about this and I need to get it off my chest,” I snap.
“We come from different worlds. I love peace and quiet and you love to party. I want to garden and you own a coke club. I’m looking for my forever man and you’re looking for an escape route.
But for some stupid crazy reason that I can’t explain—” my eyes well with tears, “—I love you.” I swipe them away.
“And maybe that makes me a fool, and the fact that you’re watching me from your car weeks after we were last together…
makes me think that maybe you love me too. ”
His eyes search mine and he opens his mouth to say something but no words come out.
“Well?” I wait.
Silence.
My heart begins to hurt as it cracks wide open.
“I tell you that I love you and you can’t even say one word?” I whisper through tears.
“Doe….” He gives a subtle shake of his head. “I’m…I just…it’s not….”
I wait but he falls silent once more and it’s obvious that he has nothing to say.
My tears break the dam and I angrily swipe them away. “Don’t apologize for not loving me. It’s not your fault.” I get out of the car and lean back in. “Can you just do me one last favor?”
He nods.
“Please stay the hell away from me.” The tears roll down my face.
“I never want to see you again because it only reminds me of what we nearly had. And what you couldn’t give me.
I’m done,” I spit as my heart breaks in two pieces.
“I’m so fucking done.” I slam the door and angrily wipe my tears as I storm back to my store.
All his guards are watching, judging me for being so pathetic.
I’m such a fool.
I lie in the darkness; my eyes are swollen and my throat is sore. Seeing him today has torn me to shreds, I can’t stop crying. That whole trip I tried to convince myself that I was stronger than this but the truth is, I’m heartbroken.
And not for the time we’ve had together, because I know it’s been limited.
For what we could have been, for the future we could have had. And I can’t imagine feeling the way I do about him with anyone else.
He well and truly broke me.
My phone beeps with a text and I know it’s Helene checking on me for the fifteenth time tonight. I roll over and read it:
Mr. Doe
I’m at your front door.
I sit up, huh? I concentrate and read it again, am I seeing things? I get up and turn the light on, walk downstairs and open the front door.
“Hi, Doe,” Edward says softly as his eyes search mine. “Can I come in?” He walks past me into the house and I close the door behind him.
“What are you doing here?” I cross my arms as I try to shield myself from his hurt.
“I love you.” His eyes search mine. “More than anything…I love you.”