Chapter 18
Eighteen
Lucas
S adie drives herself back home, but I follow her in my car. Tonight was a wake-up call for me. I worried about where she was, who she was with, why she hadn’t told me. It was exhausting and I hated every second of it.
We’ve grown far too close and I think it’s time to put an end to this little arrangement of ours. It was going to end eventually anyway, so tonight feels like the right time to do it. If only I could utter those words.
If she leaves, my house will be quiet again. I’ll be alone again. No one to look after. No one to care about. No one to wait for. I should be happy about that. I’m one foot out the door anyway.
When we walk inside the house, Sadie seems despondent. She slips off her shoes like she always does, kicking them in the corner. I expect her to go into her room, but she lingers in the living room as if she’s waiting for something.
Awkwardly, she stares at the floor as I approach.
I know what she’s waiting for, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
“Go to bed, Miss Green,” I say coldly .
“Please,” she whispers. “I need this.”
Her plea wrenches my heart. Touching her arm, I draw her attention up to my face. Her expression is desperate and pitiful. The tracks of her tears cut through the makeup, revealing the soft spatter of freckles underneath.
“We can’t keep doing this,” I say weakly.
“Don’t say that. There’s nothing wrong with what we do. We both like it, and it’s the only thing that makes me feel better.” Her tone is earnest and needy, and it breaks me to deny her.
I want to bend her over this couch and give her exactly what she wants. But where does this end?
“That’s the problem, Miss Green. You can’t rely on me to make you feel better.”
She throws her head back in defeat. “Please, Dr. Goode. Just this last time. I’m begging you. Punish me!”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I argue, moving to walk away.
“What are you talking about?” she cries. “I didn’t come home. I threw myself at someone who doesn’t even want me! I let him kiss me. And I ignored your texts. I fucked up and I won’t be able to sleep tonight until you make me pay for what I’ve done.”
Running my hands through my hair, I groan. He kissed her . “This is so fucked up.”
She grabs my arm to pull me toward her. “I don’t care that it’s fucked up and neither do you. It’ll be our little secret, Professor Goode. Please.”
Our secret. That’s the word that makes me snap. Spinning toward her, I find her throat with my hand and she stares up at me with desperation in her eyes. Our mouths are inches apart as I snarl at her.
“You’ve fucked me up, you little devil. This is all your fucking fault. I was fine until you came around, but now you have me acting like some kind of freak.”
“Yes,” she whimpers as I back her up toward the couch. Once her ass touches the back of it, I spin her around and force her into a bent position, careful not to hurt her as she perches her ass in the air.
Looking down at her ass in those black pants, I know I need to feel her bare ass. So I grab the waistband, and I tear them down, revealing her black lace panties, and it’s still not enough. Hooking my fingers in the elastic, I rip those down, too.
She yelps in surprise because this is the first time I’ve ever had her fully naked from the waist down like this. Even I’m shocked by my actions. What am I doing?
My hand finds her soft ass cheek, massaging it like I normally do before rearing back my hand and spanking her without too much force. She moans in relief, gripping the back of the couch in her hands.
“Who gives you what you need?” I growl as I lay another gentle slap on her ass.
“You do,” she replies with a gasp.
“And you went to him ,” I say contemptuously.
“I’m sorry.”
I smack her ass again, this time massaging the flesh for a bit longer and noticing the way she presses backward against my touch, seeking more.
“I bet if I were to check, you’d be wet for this, wouldn’t you, Miss Green?”
If there’s a line we’re not supposed to cross, it feels as if we just keep pushing it further and further away.
“Yes,” she shrieks.
“Shall we check?”
She moans with her face in the cushion of the couch. “Yes, please.”
I smack her ass again, making her jump, and then I slide my hand between her legs, along the seam of her cunt. And just as I suspected, she’s soaked, warm, and wet for me.
My cock twitches, already hard and straining against my pants. My middle finger glides back and forth over her dripping core, and I can’t believe how good she feels. So perfect .
Drawing my hand away, I rub the moisture from her arousal across her ass.
“Does he make you this wet, Miss Green?” I ask in a low growl.
She shakes her head.
“Does he make you come?”
I notice the way her knuckles tighten their grip on the couch.
She shakes her head again.
“Do you deserve to come?” I ask.
“Yes, please. I’ll be good.”
Fuck. My dick leaks at the tip. The desire and tension are so good. This wanting, needing feeling is so exhilarating, but it’s so much stronger than normal.
“I know you’ll be good, Miss Green. You’re always so good.” With that, I slip my middle finger inside her, and it seems like we both stop breathing. Sadie lets out a guttural groan as I focus on the tight, wet heat I’m plunging into.
Pulling out to the tip, I thrust my finger back inside her, savoring the way her body reacts. Muscles in her back strain as her pussy tightens around me.
It feels so incredibly invasive and filthy, but I can’t stop. I fuck her with my middle finger before adding a second, moving faster now.
“Please don’t stop,” she groans.
My hand pulses quickly, slamming into her and waiting for the moment when her pleasure detonates.
“You belong to me. My little devil. Isn’t that right?”
“Yes,” she whines, her voice strained and breathless.
“You will not see him, talk to him, or let him touch you without my permission. Do you understand?” I thrust harder until she’s on her tiptoes, her knees buckling as she struggles with the sensation.
“I understand,” she murmurs.
“Now I want you to be a good girl and come for me, Miss Green. ”
Her groan is loud and throaty. When she tries to slip her own hand down to her clit, I bat it away.
“Mine,” I growl as I find her clit with my free hand and rub it fiercely while still plunging into her cunt.
The combination makes her come undone. With a desperate scream, her body tenses and her legs tremble. I can feel the thrumming pulse of her cunt as she comes, and I keep up the motion of my hand so she can ride it out.
She quivers for so long that I start to wonder if her climax will ever end. My dick is the hardest it’s ever been, throbbing painfully as I resist the urge to stroke it.
Before I pull out of her pussy, Sadie turns her head and stares up at me. Looking into each other’s eyes, we face this new line we’ve crossed together.
I wonder if she feels the same remorse I do, and not because I regret touching her. I loved it more than she’ll ever know. But because I was supposed to be pulling myself away, and I think I just dug myself in deeper. How am I going to push her away now?
My fingers are soaked when I pull them away, and I never want to wash them clean. I want to wear her scent like cologne so everyone knows she’s mine.
Pulling up her pants, I help her to stand and look into her eyes for a sign of any distress. But there isn’t any. In fact, she looks at peace.
Her angelic green eyes gaze up at me. I want to touch her face, tuck her hair behind her ear, and pull her into my arms. But I’ve crossed one line already today, so I don’t need to cross another one.
“Go to bed, Miss Green.”
With a defeated look in her eyes, she hesitates. For a moment, I expect her to argue or ask me to join her. But with a sigh, she finally relents. Pressing her lips together, she nods.
“Thank you for coming to get me tonight.”
I touch her under her chin and lift her face toward mine. “I meant what I said. Don’t call him again. ”
“I won’t.”
“Good girl.”
With that, she smiles and turns toward her room. I don’t move from my spot until her door closes. Then I stare at the couch before running my hand through my hair in exasperation.
This is getting out of hand. I just want to think clearly, but with Sadie, it’s like I can’t do that. Nothing makes sense, and I find myself acting more on impulse than critical thinking. If I’m not careful, she’s going to fuck up so much more than my job.
When I eventually make it to my bedroom, my body is still strung tight. I tear off my clothes like they’re suddenly strangling me. Instead of folding them neatly or putting them in the laundry basket, I’m tossing them on the floor, burning up.
My cock is still hard, but I hope falling asleep will finally make it relax. But sleep evades me. Lying in my dark room, I toss and turn with no consolation.
Eventually, I give in. Reaching into my boxers, I fist my cock and let out a moan of relief. Her name lingers on my lips as I stroke myself.
“Fuck, Sadie,” I whisper to myself as I fuck my fist, imagining it’s her tight cunt or warm mouth. I replay her moans and cries in my head, imagining she’s in the room with me.
I lift my fingers to my nose, sniffing them for her scent. It makes me feel like an animal, but where she’s concerned, I’m no longer a man with a complex mind. I’m a beast for her—feral and wild.
“Mine,” I growl, licking her arousal from my fingers.
With my feet pressed down to my mattress and my legs open wide, I pump my hand over my dick, imagining the most depraved and dirty things I could do with her. My neck is strained as my head hangs back when my orgasm finally crests and my cock releases.
My own cum flies so far it lands against my cheek and neck, and I groan loudly. I hope she hears it. My ears are ringing, and my balls are tight as the onslaught of pleasure continues .
By the time my balls are spent, I collapse in exhaustion on my bed, covered in my own release without an ounce of remorse or shame about it.
The fantasy of Sadie in my head is the hottest vision I’ve jacked off to. And I know sex with her will stay a fantasy forever. It has to. Because eventually she’ll have another man’s baby and I’ll be moving to England. So our relationship has to stop here, and any prospect of us has to remain in my head. Where she’s safe. Because I can’t break a fantasy’s heart.