Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
juniper
Two weeks had passed since the blowup at Gulch Days. Two weeks of wallowing in bed, because for some godforsaken reason, Mikey’s betrayal hurt worse than Brady’s.
Perhaps it was because, deep down, I’d seen Brady and Ava’s affair coming. I just didn’t want to accept it as a possibility. I’d seen the way he looked at her when he thought I wasn’t paying attention.
But Mikey wasn’t like that. He looked at me like I was the only girl in the world, despite his long history of women. He looked at me like he was a changed man, like he wanted me. Like he saw me.
Within hours, social media was blowing up with speculation and posts about Mikey and our fake relationship. I couldn’t deal with the fallout without spiraling, so I deleted my social apps and did my best to stay away from any rodeo news.
It was weird not being able to talk to Mikey about what was going on. He’d know exactly what to say or do in the situation. Technically, I could have reached out to Ellison or Isa, but I didn’t think they’d like me too much after finding out what happened.
Tears pricked at my eyes, and I wiped them with my forearm, sniffling in the process.
Knuckles lightly tapped on my door.
I groaned, pulling the comforter higher over my head.
“Please go away, Nat. I don’t want to talk.
” I wasn’t in the mood to hear I told you so.
After she picked me up in Goldfinch, we’d managed to drift past each other the last two weeks—me because I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and her because I was sure she didn’t want to kick me while I was already down so she just let me have space.
She’d sent occasional texts to check in or ask if I needed anything, but I admittedly kept my answers short.
“It’s Liv.” My coworker identified herself. “I’m coming in, okay, June?”
The door creaked as she stepped inside, her footsteps approaching my bed. The bed shifted with her weight when she sat, and I uncovered my head, revealing her soft expression.
“How are you?”
“Fine,” I lied, fiddling with the bracelet Mikey had bought me.
I may have torn off the necklace he gave me in the heat of the moment, but I’d forgotten about the copper bangle. I didn’t have the heart to get rid of it, so I’d put it on every day, if only to serve as my own sick form of punishment for catching feelings.
She looked down at my wrist then back up, pouting her lips. “He’s an idiot.”
“I’m not much better,” I grumbled. “I was using him, too.”
“You know, I was really skeptical of you guys at first.”
I glared at her, but she scolded me, pointing out that she wasn’t finished.
“I was skeptical at first, but the more I saw you two together, the more it made sense. He’s not the type of guy I would have pictured you with, but it worked. I had no idea it was fake, and clearly neither did anyone else. Either you guys were really good at acting, or it wasn’t really pretend.”
“It became real to me.” I had put a pillow over my face so my sentence came out muffled.
“Huh?”
I removed the pillow with a resigned sigh. “We had rules, and I broke the most important one. I told him that no matter what happened, we couldn’t get feelings involved. No feelings meant no one got hurt. And look what happened.”
Liv gave me a sympathetic smile. “Hearts don’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s fake, June.”
I shook my head. “It was all temporary anyway. It was never going to last.”
“If you say so. You just seemed really happy, and I hate to see you hurting.”
“I’ll be okay. I’ll, uh, see you at work later.” I waved her off.
Liv took the hint and pursed her lips into a soft smile as she stood to leave. Before she left the room, she turned over her shoulder. “We’re all here for you. You don’t have to go through anything alone, you know that, right?”
Her footsteps disappeared down the hallway and the front door opened and shut, temporarily leaving me in a blissful silence.
Nothing good ever lasted, though, and my phone buzzed on the bedside table. At first I didn’t pick it up, but my curiosity got the better of me and I rolled onto my side, letting the lock screen light up.
I blinked a few times, wondering if my brain was processing what I was seeing correctly.
Right in front of me was an email notification requesting an interview for the job in Minnesota.
Holy shit.
I skimmed the email, rereading the first few lines just to make sure I wasn’t imagining things.
Thank you so much for submitting your application for the Research Assistant position. We’ve reviewed your resume and cover letter and are very impressed by your background. We would love to set up an interview so we can tell you about the position and learn more about you.
After checking my schedule, I sent a reply with my availability, letting a squeak of excitement slip as I navigated to my messages.
You’ll never guess what
My heart lurched as I remembered that I couldn’t text him that. We were over. I deleted the text, opening a new thread with Natalie instead. I’d have to talk to her eventually, and this felt like a better conversation starter than Mikey would be.
Sorry I’ve been MIA.
I have a job interview
Natalie
That’s amazing! For the job in Minnesota?
Yep, I ended up applying the day we talked about it.
Natalie
How do you feel about it?
Nervous but I think it’ll be a good change
I love you and Liv and Nico but I think I need to do this.
Natalie
Do what’s best for you
You didn’t plan to stay, so this feels like par for the course, you know?
Right…
The original plan was always to get my feet set and recover from the betrayal that got me here in the first place. I had a small detour, and now I was back on track to achieve my goals.
I snuck into the back office when I got to Rudy’s for my shift, needing to catch my breath and compose myself a little before going out onto the floor.
I’d only worked a few shifts since we’d come back from Goldfinch, and they were all opening shifts instead of a mid-shift or closing.
I knew Mikey and the other guys wouldn’t come in during the early afternoon, and opening hours were slow enough that I didn’t have to deal with many people.
Today was my first closing shift since the Bucking Horse Sale.
When I finally stepped behind the bar, only Nico was working.
“Where’d Liv go?” I asked as I tied my apron around my waist.
“She left early. Some kind of family emergency.”
“Oh. I hope everything’s okay.”
“I’m sure it will be. It didn’t sound super urgent, but Liv would run herself into the ground worrying if she didn’t go. She’s…really caring. You know, like if there’s a problem or you’re sad, she always knows how to make people feel better.” His eyes glazed over a bit as he talked about her.
I nodded in understanding.
“And if you try to lie to her and say everything’s fine, she’ll comfort you anyway and somehow figure out the problem.
It’s like it’s second nature to her.” He lowered his voice, so quiet I could barely hear.
“It’s sweet and kind of adorable, actually.
Anyway, how are you holding up?” His question and the abrupt change of subject caught me a bit by surprise.
Not to mention nearly every conversation I’d had with Nico in the past four months had been lighthearted.
I played coy, curious about where this was going. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, it sounds like you’ve gone through two pretty nasty breakups in less than six months. One breakup is heavy shit, let alone two. Just want to make sure you’re okay, you know, since Liv isn’t here to do it.”
“Aww!” I cooed teasingly. “That’s so sweet of you. I’m fine, though.”
It wasn’t a complete lie, but Nico still gave me a suspicious look.
“Seriously, I’m good. I don’t have the time or the mental capacity to be sad anymore. If anything, this was a reminder of what my priorities need to be. I have a job interview for a position in Minnesota.”
Nico perked up. “Really? That’s awesome, Junie!”
“Don’t call me that.” I playfully rolled my eyes.
“It is, though. I’m actually really excited.
Nervous out of my mind, but excited.” Changing the subject, I lowered my voice some.
“So, can we rewind for a second? What’s the deal with you and Liv?
I’ve always known you guys were close, but it seemed like you were even closer when I got back from Houston. ”
It seemed like they thought they were being sneaky, but I noticed the way Nico protected her against the reporter that one day and the way he’d look at her from across the bar during a shift. Not to mention the way he was just talking about her.
“Huh?” He pretended to be confused, but I didn’t miss the glint of longing in his eyes.
“Don’t play dumb with me.”
“She doesn’t see me like that.”
I raised a brow. “But you do?”
Shrugging, he mumbled, “She’s cool. But I don’t know. What would you do in this situation?”
“You’re really asking me for relationship advice?” I cackled. “You sure I’m the best person for that?”
“I don’t know. I never thought that bull rider guy would ever stay with someone for that long. From what I’d seen and heard, he keeps things very casual.”
I scoffed. “All right, in that case then, strike up a fake-dating arrangement with her under the guise that you want to make your ex jealous. You’ll both realize pretty quickly that the feelings you thought were just for show weren’t so pretend.
” I caught myself at the end of my sentence and looked at Nico, who had a smug expression. “I—that’s not what I meant.”
“I think you know exactly what you meant, Junie. You said it yourself. It may have started as fake, but you both know you have feelings for each other. Thanks for the tip, though, I’ll keep that in mind.” He winked, heading around the corner to the back office.
Dammit. I walked right into that one.