Chapter 32
JOSH
“You’re a hazard in the kitchen,” Lily teases, rescuing the toast I almost burned because I’m too busy ogling her legs.
“Only because you’re distracting me.” I trap her against the counter for another kiss.
She melts into me for a moment before nuzzling me away. “Food first, then ravishing. I need sustenance.”
I let her go with exaggerated reluctance, turning back to the stove. “Okay, but I’m going to need detailed instructions on this ravishing business.”
Her laugh—that unreserved one I love—fills the room. “You’ve got the basics down just fine.”
We eat at her small kitchen table, our legs tangled underneath. The moment is perfect. Food getting cold on our plates because we keep talking, touching, looking at each other. I want to freeze it, preserve it like one of my Polaroids.
“So,” Lily says as she sips her coffee, “logistically speaking, how do we do this? You can’t move in today.”
“I figured I’d keep my apartment for now, I’m on a one-year lease anyway,” I say. “Come over when invited, spend time with you and Penny, let her get used to me being around more. Then maybe in a few months, if everything’s going well…”
“You’re okay with that pace? Not too slow?”
I reach across the table for her hand. “Lily, a few days ago, I thought I’d lost you forever. I’ll take what you’re willing to give me, at whatever speed feels right.”
Her fingers tighten around mine. “You’re kind of perfect, you know that?”
I snort. “Tell that to my dirty socks that never make it into the hamper.”
“Oh gosh,” she groans, covering her face with her free hand. “I forgot about the realities of living with a guy. The toilet seat up, wet towels on the floor…”
“Hey, I’m not that dreadful,” I protest. “And as a bonus, I can fix things.”
“You were already doing that.”
“Yeah, but now I can do it shirtless, and you can help me wipe off the sweat afterward.”
“Sold.” She grins. “But I’m serious, Josh. I don’t want to rush into anything that might confuse Penny. She needs stability.”
“I get it,” I assure her. “And I agree. We’ll take it day by day. For now, I’ll just be Josh, Mom’s… boyfriend? Is that the right word?”
Her smile turns shy. “Boyfriend sounds so high school, but yeah, I guess that’s what you are.”
“I could be your gentleman caller,” I suggest, wiggling my eyebrows. “Your paramour. Your swain.”
She throws a piece of toast at me. “You’re ridiculous, that’s what you are.”
I catch the bread and pop it into my mouth, grinning. “You love it.”
“Yeah, I do,” she admits, shaking her head.
We clean up together, then reluctantly acknowledge we should put on more clothes before Penny returns. I pull on yesterday’s jeans and T-shirt.
“Is it weird that watching you get dressed is turning me on?” Lily asks.
“Yeah, you total weirdo, it’s just you.” I cross over to her, grabbing her by the hips. “Seeing you in this dress is not making me horny at all.”
“Are you sure?” Lily smiles as she wraps her arms behind my neck. “You’re kind of giving me bedroom eyes, Lieutenant.”
“I am.” I kiss her nose, her cheek, the corner of her mouth. “Around you, I’m hopelessly, ridiculously horny all the time.”
She kisses me then, slow and deep, until we’re both breathless. “We should cool it before Penny comes home.” She rests her forehead against my collarbone.
“Probably,” I agree, but make no move to let her go. “But I really, really don’t want to.”
“Me either,” she admits. “But Josie will be here in thirty minutes, and she’s gonna clock the change in a second. She and Dorian are going to be such dicks about it.”
“Okay,” I say, releasing her with one last kiss. “I’ll behave. Scout’s honor.”
“Were you really a Scout?” she asks, smoothing down her hair.
“Yep,” I confirm. “Very good with knots.”
Her eyes darken at that, and I laugh. “Down now, Mama. I’ll take care of you again later.”
We spend the next twenty minutes making sure the apartment looks presentable, hiding evidence of our weekend activities—scattered pillows, flyaway underwear, wrinkled bedsheets.
By the time the doorbell rings, we’re sitting at a respectable distance on the couch, pretending to watch a cooking show neither of us has any interest in.
Lily squeezes my hand once before standing to answer the door. “Ready?”
I nod, my heart pounding. “Ready.”
Penny bursts in like a tiny tornado, all flying limbs and rapid-fire chatter.
“Mom! Guess what? Uncle Dorian let me play on his drum set, and Auntie JoJo taught me how to make chocolate chip cookies, and we watched this movie about a dog who talks but only his owner hears him, and—” She skids to a halt when she spots me on the couch.
“Josh! What are you doing here? Did something break?”
“Hey, bug,” I say, hoping my voice sounds normal. “Just hanging out with your mom.”
Penny’s eyes narrow, darting between me and Lily. “Without me?”
“Um, yeah,” Lily says, shooting a panicked look at me over Penny’s head.
Josie appears in the doorway. Her gaze sweeps from Lily to me and back again, like she’s reading a juicy scene in a romance novel.
She crosses her arms, leaning against the doorframe with an air of supreme satisfaction. “Well, this is cozy.”
“Uh, hey,” Lily says with an edge of defensiveness.
“Hey, Josie.” I wave, flashing what I hope passes for an easy smile.
Josie’s grin widens into something almost feral. “Hiiii, Josh.”
Heck, Lily was right; they’re going to be total dicks about this.
Josie saunters over and gives her sister a hug, whispering, “I’m gonna go now, but I’m expecting a call tonight. I want all the deets on how this happened.”
She throws a foxy grin at me over her shoulder and surprises me by letting go of Lily and hugging me, too.
Her voice falls below even a whisper, probably to make sure Penny doesn’t hear her.
“Looking forward to seeing you at family dinners. Dorian was getting tired of his ass being the only one groped by inappropriate, elderly aunts.”
I cough, mildly alarmed. “Sure thing.”
She pats my shoulder encouragingly and after a quick hug to Penny, Josie leaves.
The second the door closes, Penny plants herself in front of us, hands on her hips in a pose so reminiscent of Lily my heart twists. “Are you guys dating?” she demands.
Lily and I exchange a look. So much for easing into it.
“Yes,” Lily says simply. “We are. Is that okay with you?”
Penny’s face scrunches up as she considers this. “Does this mean Josh is going to be around more?”
“Only if you’d like me to be,” I say cautiously.
A slow smile splits her cheeks. “Will you teach me to fix more stuff? And can we go swimming in the pool even when it’s not super hot? And will you come to my ballet recital?”
Relief floods through me. “Yes, yes, and yes.”
Penny turns to Lily. “Will you marry him?”
Lily makes a choking sound. “What? Penny, we just started dating!”
“So? Tiffany’s mom and dad only dated for two weeks before they got married.” Penny shrugs as if this is reasonable. “And Josh already fixes stuff and makes us dinner and plays with me.” She turns serious now and quiet as she looks at me. “Are you my stepdad now?”
I crouch down, wanting to be at eye level with her. “Would you want me to be?”
Before answering, Penny glances back at Lily, as if wondering if it’s okay to say yes.
I hold my breath, watching Lily’s face. This is the moment I’ve been worried about—the “replacing Daniel” conversation.
But Lily handles it beautifully. She kneels down at Penny’s level, too, taking her small hands in hers.
“Sweetie, Josh and I care about each other very much. And yes, he’ll be around more.
But no one will ever replace your daddy.
He’ll always be your dad, and we’ll always love him and remember him. ”
Penny nods solemnly. “I know that, Mom. But Daddy’s in heaven. And Josh is here. So can he be my stepdad?” She says it simply, with such childlike clarity, that I have to blink back sudden tears.
“Yes, honey,” Lily agrees, her own voice thick.
Penny considers me. She lets go of her mother’s hands and turns to me. “I like that you make my mom smile. She’s started smiling again since you moved here. And I’d love for you to be my stepdad.”
“Then you have me, kiddo.”
Penny launches herself into my arms. Lily wraps herself around Penny from behind, looking at me over her daughter’s shoulder, eyes shining. And again, that sensation of being too full assails me. For years, I’ve felt empty, and now, now I have everything.