Adele
Iwas in desperate need of a way to blow off steam. Conflicting emotions were battling within me, pummeling my heart and picking apart my brain. I fought, though, and I fought hard, even knowing that I’d lose this war.
Because my feelings for Finn were big and scary and overwhelming.
And my attempts to shut them down and pack these away neatly, like they were wrenches lined up on precisely labeled shelves, had all been futile.
Sadly, feelings were not tools. They couldn’t be put away and taken out when the job required it. Nope, they floated around all day, disrupting lives and making simple things difficult.
Like sleeping. Hadn’t been doing much of that lately, since I couldn’t stop replaying Finn’s words in my mind. Both the romantic ones and the dirty ones.
That feeling I had always yearned for? Being wanted and desired and craved? I had read about it in books, but I’d thought it a work of fiction.
Turned out it was possible. And it was intoxicating. It could turn an unsuspecting person into a walking sex zombie who couldn’t function in society. I certainly didn’t need the aggravation.
So instead of going to work, which had been my plan, I texted Parker and headed to the gym.
She’d kindly picked up He-Man yesterday when I called her from the sat phone, and I owed her big time.
I also needed a sanity check. Because not only had I slept with Finn Hebert, but I was finding myself desperate to do it again.
While waiting for her to arrive—she was probably snuggled up with my brother—my phone dinged.
Stretch: Can we talk?
I covered my face with my hands. I could not handle this right now. But apparently, he wasn’t done.
Stretch: I realize that’s a sketchy thing to text. I suck at communicating. What I meant was, I’d like to have an adult conversation about what happened between us.
Stretch: Preferably in person. But no pressure.
I laughed. Now he was being polite? After all the dirty things he’d whispered in my ear last night? After the way he’d manhandled me and doled out more orgasms in one night than I’d had in my previous six-month relationship, I didn’t trust myself to respond.
“What do you mean you slept with him?” Parker hissed between sets of deadlifts.
She scanned the gym, using the floor-to-ceiling mirror to make sure no one was listening. The walls had ears in Lovewell. But I was too distraught to worry about discretion.
“Is this a thing? Is it gonna happen again?” Her face said it all. Telling her had been a terrible idea. But not as terrible as what I’d given in to when we were stranded in the forest.
“No,” I lied. “One time only.”
“Okay, good. Not that I’m judging you. How could I? I have eyes and ovaries. I’ve seen that man. And you weren’t of sound mind. It’s not your fault.”
My heart sank. Dammit. I didn’t want to want him, but I’d thought Parker would be slightly giddy when I broke the news. She’d been encouraging me to get out there again, after all.
“Sweetie, I don’t mean it like that,” she soothed. “You deserve all the orgasms. But I know your brothers and this town.”
The reminder made my stomach lurch. Because she was right, but I hated the reality of how this would play out if my family caught wind.
Sure, I had gotten swept up, but not entirely. The connection between us was undeniable. Inevitable, even. As if we’d been building to this conclusion for a long time.
“There’s more to the story.”
“How much more?”
I grabbed a plate and slid it onto the bar. “We’ve been flirting for a long time. And I’ve kissed him before. Just once. It was two years ago.”
“How am I only learning about this now?” She secured the weight with a collar and put her hands on her hips. “I thought we had become official best friends.”
“It was years ago.” I waved her off. “Before I met you. It never seemed relevant.”
“Sticking your tongue down the local Viking hottie’s throat is always relevant, Adele.” She crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the foam flooring, signaling that she wanted all the details.
“You know how Henri gave him an office space in my shop? It means that I see him almost every day now. Turns out he’s not the terrible monster I thought he was. He’s sensitive and funny, and he’s an amazing dad.”
As much as it pained me to get the words out, it was the truth. It’d be easy to reduce the whole family to evil, murderous felons—hell, that’s what I had been doing until recently—but Finn was a good person. He treated everyone he met with respect and had been nothing but an asset to the company.
He was also annoyingly handsome, and he refused to stop flirting with me.
Parker was watching me, her eyes wide and her mouth ajar.
“What?”
She leaned forward and whispered, “You. Like. Him.”
“I do not,” I protested, rearing back in disgust. “I can’t like him. But if things were different, I would definitely like him.”
“Do you hear yourself right now? Can’t like him isn’t the same as don’t like him. I’m not going to judge you for who you sleep with. That’s your business, and I’m here to support you…”
“But…?”
She let out a heavy sigh. “Can you imagine what would happen if your family found out? The fallout would be nuclear. Paz would self-destruct. There’d be a mushroom cloud over our house. And Remy and Henri and Alice and your mom…”
I shot her a look. There was nothing more tiresome than machismo. I was more than capable of taking care of myself. My brothers knew that. They also knew they’d lose body parts if they tried to interfere in my dating life. “They know to stay out of my private life.”
“Yes, but what about if your private life involved a Hebert? I don’t have an issue with Finn.
In my experience, all families have shitheads, and he is not his dad.
I can separate how I feel about him from how I feel about his father.
But I’m afraid your family might not be able to.
I’m only looking to protect your beautiful heart. ”
I squeezed my eyes shut. Damn, I wished my engineering skills extended to time travel so I could go back and not get on that plane.
Life would be so much easier if I hadn’t slept with him.
If I hadn’t experienced how protective and tender he was.
I had always hated thunderstorms, and he’d made me feel so safe.
That feeling was almost impossible to shake.
“He’s not a bad guy,” I said weakly.
Parker racked her weights and raised one brow at me. “Didn’t you used to call him Satan’s Asshole?”
“Yes. Among other things. But he’s annoyingly decent.”
She continued to watch me without speaking. Shit, was this what she was like in an interrogation room? Did she play the silent type who waited out the perpetrator, made them sweat before they caved and confessed?
“And tender,” I said, giving in and opening up. “And dammit, he’s really good in bed.”
“I knew it.” She pumped her fist. “Now we’re getting to the good shit. Please tell me it’s proportional to the rest of him. ’Cause that guy is, like, almost seven feet tall.”
There was no doubt my face was bright red. If the heat didn’t give it away, my reflection in the mirror sure did.
“Okay, okay. So the Viking lumberjack is hung and has layers. Shit, this is getting complicated.”
“Tell me about it.”
She adjusted her ponytail and frowned.
“Now that I’m a mature woman in a serious relationship,” she said, holding that concerned expression despite how ridiculous that statement was, “I’m going to give you some advice.
Stop and think. It’s easy to get swept up in the forbidden.
It’s easy to forget about reality when he’s got a big dick.
” She gave me an exaggerated wink. “Give yourself some time. You’ve been through a lot.
There’s no need to rush things. If you want to pursue this, I’ve got your back. I will handcuff Paz if I need to.”
“Gag. You probably already do that.”
“Only once in a while.” She giggled. “But I mean it. If this is real, I’m on it. I’ll wrestle every hater into submission. Just be sure before you take the plunge.”
Her advice was solid. I couldn’t even begin to deal with this until the dust settled.
I was still on an adrenaline high from our flight and the storm and all the orgasms. Was this worth blowing up my life for?
Hurting my family? I hadn’t even thought about my mom.
She’d be devastated if I brought a Hebert to family dinner.
“Go home and try to relax,” she urged me gently. “Because you’re coming out tonight.”
“No way.” The last thing I wanted was to deal with people. My only plans for the evening involved snuggling up with He-man and watching reality TV until my brain rotted. That would take care of the pesky memories of Finn.
“Nice try. Shower and put on something cute. We’re getting drinks. The whole gang is coming. Alice is even dragging Henri out. They got a babysitter for the evening.”
Henri. That pulled a chuckle from me. My oldest brother’s idea of a great night was reading a book in front of the fireplace with his dogs and Alice beside him. But he was growing and changing.
As much as it killed me to admit it, I should probably spend some time with my brothers outside of work. Now that they were all locked down, we didn’t hang out nearly enough.
“You can smoke everyone in darts and collect free chicken fingers.”
That sounded like the world’s worst idea. “Eh, no thanks.”
“You need to work through all this shit. Leave your house. Your dog and your book boyfriend will still be there when you get home. Flirt, dance, have a beer.”
“Who the hell am I going to flirt with in this town?”
“Please. It’s summer in Maine. There are men everywhere. The local boys and the tourists and the random weirdos.”
“Wow. You make it sound so appealing. You and I both know what’s going to happen. I’ll come out, and we’ll hang for a bit, but then you losers will all cuddle up with your significant others, and I’ll be stuck hanging out with Dylan.”
“He’s a sweetheart,” Parker crooned.