36. Finn
Finn
“This is the best news,” I shouted, picking her up and spinning her around.
A baby? Unbelievable. When she had called me crying, my stomach had sunk and all my anxieties had rushed back. Then I’d dropped everything and rushed over, desperately worried about her.
I’d spent the past couple of weeks on pins and needles. She was working up the courage to tell her family, and I was waiting for the day I could love her publicly. The day I could tell this town and all the nasty gossips to fuck all the way off.
But now, my face hurt from smiling too widely. And I was pretty sure I’d have to get used to it. I hadn’t been this happy in years, so this expression was unlikely to fade.
She punched my shoulder. “Are you out of your mind? This is a disaster!”
I pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. “Of course it’s not. Babies are fucking awesome. And we made one together.”
“I was on birth control,” she yelled, planting her hands on my chest and pushing me away.
I flexed a bicep. “Oh, She-Ra, your birth control pills are no match for my super Viking sperm. I think we both could have predicted that.”
“Maybe you should have told me you had superhuman sperm, asshole. ‘By the way, Adele, we should wrap it up because my semen is impervious to pharmaceutical intervention.’ The heads-up would have been nice.”
I shrugged. “Sorry. I guess I was too busy making you come a million times to give you fair warning.” I waggled my eyebrows. “Speaking of which. You wanna sit on my face? My baby mama seems tense. I can help with that.”
“Jesus Christ, Finn. This is serious.”
“Adele.” I put my hands on her shoulders and dipped my head so she was forced to look at me. She was distraught, and I wanted to soothe away all her worry and assure her that everything would be okay. That this was a good thing for us. “Of course you’re scared. That’s natural. I’m scared too.”
She bit her lip and searched my face as tears streamed down her cheeks.
Damn it. Maybe she didn’t want this. Shit. I was being totally insensitive.
“Let me be clear,” I added. “It’s your body. I support whatever choice you want to make. But I’m here with you. We’re in this together.”
She buried her head in my chest and shuddered out a breath. “Thank you,” she said after a few moments. She squeezed me tight around the waist and sucked in a few deep breaths, but then her body shook against mine. “I want this baby.”
I released the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding.
I meant what I said. I would support her choice, but in the five minutes since I learned of this child’s existence, I’d already fallen desperately in love with it.
And Merry. This would be amazing for her.
She’d been asking for a sibling since she was old enough to talk.
I hugged Adele tighter. I already knew I was madly in love with her, but now? Now my heart was truly full. Details didn’t matter. Our last names didn’t matter. My father and all that shit in the past were of no consequence. This little person was our future.
So I was shocked when she pulled back, blinked up at me with red-rimmed eyes, and walked away. I followed her into the living room, where she scooped He-Man up off the couch and held him close.
“Talk to me.”
There was nothing we couldn’t figure out together. She was in shock, of course, but at some point, she had to let me in, let me help.
I crossed my arms. “I’ll wait all day, all week, all month for you to talk to me. Eventually, you have to learn to lean on me. I know you’ve been let down before. But I promise, I’m here and there is nothing I won’t do for you.”
She paced the length of the room, burying her face in He-Man’s fur, then abruptly stopped. “What are we bringing this child into, Finn? Feuds? Murder? A family that will hate it?” She choked back another sob.
I closed my eyes, praying for the strength to do this right.
To say the right things. “Your brothers might be stubborn, but they could never hate an innocent child. It’s time to be honest. No more sneaking around.
No more secrets. We’ll sit them down and tell them.
We’re together. We’re having a baby and we’re gonna get married and they’ll have to deal with it. ”
“Who said anything about getting married?” she shouted. She set He-Man on the floor, crossed her arms over her chest, and hit me with a glare.
“I did! We’re getting married, Adele. Deal with it.”
“No! You can’t decree it. I’m not your property.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. Dammit, I was definitely screwing this up. “Don’t worry. I’ll ask properly and everything.”
“That’s not what this is about. Don’t make decisions for me. I need time to come to terms and figure out how to broach this. We can’t walk into the diner, make out in front of half the town, then announce we’re having a baby.”
“Why not?” I fisted my hands on my hips and took a step closer to her. “Seems like the most efficient way. It’ll ensure that everyone in the county is notified within minutes. Then we could get back to living our lives.”
“You are impossible.” She stomped a foot on the hardwood floor and tilted her head back to glare up at me. “I need to process. Make a plan. You make this all seem so simple, but it’s not. What if things get ugly? You’ve had such a hard time in this town already.”
“It’s only as complicated as we make it.” I flattened my palm on her stomach. “There is nothing in this world that will keep me away from you and this baby. I’m not perfect, but I’ll always show up. Let them be nasty. I don’t care.”
Of all the shitty, disappointing things in my life, being a dad had never come remotely close to fitting in that category. Late nights, diaper blowouts, and ear infections were all part of the best job in the world.
And making a baby with this woman? This person who had turned my life upside down and made me believe that good things were possible?
My brain was spinning. I was going to be a father again.
Of all the titles I had held in my life, military or civilian, Dad was the most important.
It was a privilege to be Merry’s dad. Already, that privilege extended to this little baby.
A child I pictured having my smile and Adele’s intensity.
The instant she broke the news, my heart had swelled, creating space right alongside my daughter.
I was already in love, and I’d known about this child’s existence for minutes.
Along with that aching devotion came a desperate urge to get my business up and running. Provide for my family. Make Adele and this little munchkin proud. That sensation bordered on anxiety-inducing rather than thrilling, though.
But I had Susan Stephens’s number stored in my phone, and I was going to make good use of it.
Adele dipped her head and sniffled, showing me a glimpse of the true vulnerability she so often tried to hide. “I don’t want to lose them,” she said into my T-shirt. “My brothers aren’t perfect, but they’re all I have.”
“I won’t force you to choose.” It would kill me, but I’d let her go if that’s what she needed.
“It’s not even a choice. I love you, Finn. You and this baby come first.”
“So you’re choosing me?” I said, my heart hammering in my chest and my insecurities raring to life.
“Of course I’m choosing you. We’re doing this, and you’re going to be an amazing dad.
You already are an amazing dad.” She pulled back a little and gave me a watery smile.
“I love you and I love this baby. If we have to move to an island, just us and this baby and Merry, I’m fine with that.
But the thought of not sharing this joy with my family hurts so much. ”
She was choosing me. I let that sink in.
This wasn’t a choice for her. There had been no grueling consideration or weighing the benefits versus the drawbacks.
She didn’t want to lose them. After weeks of worrying that we’d never get past this hurdle, she was flat out saying it.
No matter how her family reacted. I tipped her chin up and kissed her deeply, savoring the feel of her body sinking into me.
“She-Ra, let me make this clear,” I said against her lips.
“I will do anything for you. Your family can hate me forever, but I’ll show up to every holiday with a smile on my face.
If your brothers want to punch me, then I’ll stand tall and let them.
They can throw rotten eggs at me for all I care.
Making you happy is all I care about. Eventually, I’ll wear them all down, though, and we’ll be one big, happy family. ”
She sobbed out a laugh. “You are absurd.”
“Absurdly in love with you. My family is so splintered. I would never wish that on you. We’ll make this work.”
She hugged me tighter, and we stood in the middle of her living room, clinging to one another, saying nothing, letting our hearts beat together.
“But the timing,” she said into my chest, squeezing me tight around the waist.
“This isn’t your shop, She-Ra.” I tucked my chin and took her in. “We can’t set the schedule and label every tool. We’re not in control. And that’s okay.”
In response, she glared up at me, lips pursed.
Yeah, we were going to be happy together. We were going to make this work.
This woman had taken me by surprise and knocked me on my ass in the best possible way. She was strong and determined and she’d never take it easy on me. But she had the biggest heart. Damn, she was going to be an amazing mom.
“But seriously,” I teased. “Let me lick your pussy. I’ll make all the stress go away.” I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “This is my job now,” I said, dropping to my knees in front of her and pulling her shorts down. “Keeping you happy. Now let me get started already.”
“Finn. You’re ridiculous,” she complained, but she was smiling down at me. “There’s so much to think about.”
Goddamn, she was gorgeous. “You’re overcomplicating things. It’s simple. We get married, have a bunch of babies, and live happily ever after.”