17 Olivia
July 2022
I think there’s a mouse in here.
I heard it, I was sure. A little chittering in the corner, near one of the larger cracks.
Wherever he was living within these walls, it had to have been higher than floor level because right now, the floor was an ocean. Inches of cold water everywhere, numbing my toes, causing me to shiver uncontrollably.
I wondered where he was.
I wondered if I tried hard enough, if he would come see me.
Merlin the Mouse, I would call him.
My mouse.
My friend.
How long had I been here? I wasn’t sure. Not more than eight days though. I was sure of it. I was positive.
I was still strong, still fighting, still pushing. Still not giving them a single thing.
I was fine. Everything was fine.
The door opened, but I kept staring at that crack. There was no point in looking, I knew who it was, what I didn’t know was how to get that mouse out. How to make him my friend.
Maybe if I offered him a piece of my bologna.
But I needed my bologna. Every piece of it, all for me.
But he would need some too, wouldn’t he? A little starving mouse, he needed a piece too. I could sacrifice that for him.
“They’re going to drain the water today,”
Phil told me, sloshing through it in his rubber boots.
That’s nice—did he hear the mouse? I hope he didn’t. He seemed like the kind of guy who would kill him. If he killed my mouse, I would kill him. But he was being kind sometimes. Just sometimes, offering me some conversations, some kindnesses. He was so kind that his eyes didn’t even wander over my body despite the fact that I was completely naked now.
Maybe he wouldn’t kill my mouse. Maybe he would bring Merlin an extra piece of bologna.
“Olivia, you haven’t said a word in two days.”
What? Yes, I had. I spoke. I spoke all the time to the voices in my head. We had conversations. Conversations about the weather outside and conversations about what Isaak did to me. Conversations about a lot of things, and sometimes, the voices changed. Sometimes the voice was a warm female voice that called me ‘baby girl’, and sometimes it was a scholarly, trusting voice that called me ‘darling’.
There were others too. A woman who talked about being tortured, who had given me advice about how to push through.
One who spoke of collapsing galaxies and gummy worms.
One who spoke of chasing the Devil around the world.
There were two others as well, almost similar. Similar in the chilling undertones of death and darkness, but different in dialect and tone.
One of them called me ‘pup’, the other called me ‘prickling rose’. I liked them both. They made my heart calm. One more than the other but not less than another.
Oh…that rhymed.
Was that why I became a writer? Because I could rhyme?
I am Olivia Rose, I am a writer, I am unbreakable, I am Claimed.
Over and over and over again.
“Olivia, they’re talking about using you,”
he explained, walking up with his tray.
I opened my mouth on instinct, my eyes still trained on that hole. He had to come out at some point.
“Using you for nefarious purposes.”
I stuck my tongue out, waiting. I wondered if the mouse was able to get food. I wondered if he got fed like I did. No, that couldn’t be it. Nobody here was kind enough to feed a little mouse.
Phil stepped in front of me, his kind eyes stern, like a father scolding his daughter. “Listen to me, it’s serious now. You’re of no use to them if you can’t talk, but a cousin of Isaak’s is involved with people who will take an interest in you once they see you.”
And? My toes were purple, and my fingers were purple, and I couldn’t feel anything at all in my arms or legs, not unless they let me sit for a while, which they did but only when they were going to drown me or punch me over and over and over and over and over—
“Olivia.”
I sucked my tongue back in and found his eyes, frowning. I knew it was my name because I had been saying it over and over again for a long time. For forever. “I am Olivia Rose, I am a writer, I am unbreakable, I am Claimed.”
I wasn’t sure why I said it, but I knew I had to. I had to keep saying it for as long as I could.
Phil released a breath and picked up a piece of bologna. “If Everett is still looking for you, he will never find you once these people take you, I can promise you that.”
Everett.
He was the one who called me ‘pup’ and sometimes ‘little writer’. He only called me ‘little writer’ now when he was trying to create some distance between us, but it never lasted long. A sentence or two before he was back to calling me ‘pup’. I loved that name. More than I loved my own, more than I loved my food. Everett Kingsmen was fierce and kind and unforgiving.
And he would find me, I knew he would, he gave me his word. He promised.
I opened my mouth and waited.
Phil watched me for a long time before stepping forward and feeding me my bologna and carrot.
While he was feeding me, the door opened again, a hose repelling down, splooshing into the water, a loud noise filling the area.
The water started to disappear, and I felt an idea form in my head. Maybe Merlin would come out once it was all dried up.
I finished eating my delicious meal, the water all but gone save for a few little puddles. The hose went back up the stairs and a few minutes later, Isaak and a few men came down to join Phil.
Every time I ate, I felt my mind clear of the strange film that fell over it. It was as if I had taken off sunglasses. As if my brain had been filled with goo, and now it wasn’t for a few minutes.
“Careful,”
I wanted to tell them. “The mud is slick, you don’t want to fall and crack your head.”
I hoped they would.
I prayed they would all fall and crack their heads. All of them except for Phil.
One of them took out my chair, while another one brought in an old wire frame and an old stained bed.
My eyes narrowed as I watched them bring it in. They wouldn’t be giving me a roommate, would they? Why? Did they think I would talk to them? Because I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t say a word.
Another one brought down a machine on a table and a box that made a loud noise.
“Do you know what that is?”
Isaak asked, standing by my side as the men set it up next to the bed.
I shook my head. I knew exactly what it was, and I felt my heart thud for the first time in a long time.
“It’s called a defibrillator,”
he explained coldly. “We brought in a good one with a generator, rather than a portable one. Stronger, more reliable.”
He lifted his chin. “Do you know what it does?”
I wrote a scene just like this once. Between my main serial killer and one of his victims. Not the love interest, but some poor bastard he ended up dismembering a few pages later because he got too excited and couldn’t bring him back to life.
One shock too many.
When I didn’t respond like they wanted me to, he pressed his lips together. “It stops a heart.”
All it took was one shock too many.
“You don’t have to hang there anymore, Olivia,”
he told me, two of the men walking over and gently undoing my chains.
The pain was sharp and horrifying, but I swallowed the screams down, I learned how to do it really well after the fourth time they pulled me down.
One of the men carried me over to my bed and set me down, taking off the chains from my bloody and torn wrists, and stepping back while another put a thick metal bracelet around my ankle.
I inspected it, my arms now on either side of me, my eyes following the chain to the end of the bed. I couldn’t feel my arms or legs, what was I going to do? Roll out of here?
Idiots.
Once my ankle was chained, one of the men pushed me back into the bed, moving me to the center of it.
This was it, wasn’t it? They were going to try and kill me over and over again until I just didn’t wake up anymore.
I couldn’t even say goodbye.
Isaak appeared above me, looking me over slowly from head to toe. “It’s a shame,”
he hummed, his eyes lingering on my breasts, on my cunt. “You’re a pretty little thing. Perhaps maybe I’ll have some fun with you before we ship you off, hmm? My cousin says his man would pay a good price for someone like you, and you’re no use to us here. Not anymore.”
They were hoping they wouldn’t kill me then. If I was to be shipped off, I had to survive. Did they understand that the human body could only take so much of this before they simply wasted away? Because I did. I had done my research, and what that research told me was that I was too frail, too underfed, too dehydrated, to survive this.
“So,”
he went on, nodding to one of the men, “we’re going to try one last thing before my cousin brings in his man, and if you don’t have anything of value to tell us, we’ll ship you off with him, is that clear?”
I just continued to stare at the ceiling. I had no idea when I would be able to feel my arms and legs again, which meant that all I could do was take this. There was no fighting against it. There was no getting up and punching someone in the balls to weaken them. There was nothing. The only power I had left was my voice.
My heart stuttered at that as a man placed two sticky pads on me. One on my ribs, the other near my heart. He slid his hand over my breast, causing me to shiver involuntarily as he did. I hated that. Everyone kept doing that, copping feels. Everyone except for Phil. I wanted to kill them for doing it. I wanted to gouge their eyes out, tear their hands off and feed it to them. I wanted to do to them what my character Alaric did to his victims. I could do it. I could handle it. I could become Alaric. But not until I had full use of my body again.
Once I did? God fucking help them.
Isaak pulled up a chair, one I didn’t see them bring down, and sat at my bed side. “Tell me what you know about Malachi Adler,”
he requested gently. “Where are their base operations? What are their real names? Their plans? Their wants? Their desires? Tell me anything. Even something small. A scar on their face, facial hair. Information about the other two Claims. Give me something.”
I found his eyes, watching him carefully. There was nothing to tell. I didn’t know anything. I didn’t understand why everyone thought I had this information. How could I give them information that didn’t exist?
Isaak released a breath and gave a nod to the man next to the defibrillator.
I didn’t have any information at all, I was just trying to get Merlin o—
I gasped, my entire body convulsing in absolute agony.
Everything was too loud and too colorful, my body didn’t feel right, nothing felt right.
Tears filled my eyes as I frantically looked around, panting, my heart pounding. “What the fuck,”
I gasped, terror filling me. My brain felt as if it were full of sparks, as if I had been reset. Everything and nothing kept flooding through in bursts, not making any sense at all. Pictures and words and feelings. Too many feelings.
Isaak leaned over me, his eyes hard. “What do you know?”
“What’s happening?”
Malachi asked calmly.
“Nothing,”
I tried desperately, my nails digging into the bed. “I swear to God, I don’t know anything.”
I wouldn’t give them anything. Not an inch. They were coming for me. They had to still be coming for me. All I had to do was wait.
I was fine.
I was fine.
Isaak gave me the same look my mother always gave me when I disappointed her. He straightened and gave the man another nod.
My eyes lifted to the man, widening. “No, no, I sw—”
I jerked, inhaling sharply, sobs cracking through me, the world blaring and ringing. Too much of everything. Too much!
“Olivia,”
Isaak said as I grabbed my chest, ripping the pads off.
“Stop it, please,”
I begged, trying to crawl away from him only for pain to flare through me before I collapsed back into the bed. I couldn’t keep doing this. I didn’t want to keep dying. I didn’t want to keep going back to that place, that…that place. I couldn’t go back, please, please don’t make me go back.
One of the men appeared at my side, grabbing my arms, pinning me down.
“Just tell me what you know,”
Isaak requested.
I thrashed, trying to pull myself out of his grips, the pain from my arms and legs excruciating. “I don’t know anything!”
I screamed, tears pouring down my cheeks as they clipped chains around my wrists and pinned me down. “I promise, I swear, I don’t know anything. Please, please, I don’t know anything.”
“We can’t do this too many more times, Olivia, you may not wake back up.”
I found his eyes, my own wide as I shook my head. “I swear on my life, I don’t know anything.”
He gave a nod.
“No—”
I gasped, jerking against the restraints, my heartbeat painful. I screamed, pulling on the chains. “PLEASE!”
I begged, gasping for air as Isaak shouted at me for more information. “Please, stop! Stop it, please,” I begged.
There were so many voices in my head, yelling and shouting and struggling before one finally came through. “Olivia, what are they doing?”
Everett demanded, his voice raw and filled with dark rage.
“HELP!”
I screamed, my throat raw. “Please,”
I sobbed. “You have to come and get me, Everett, ple—”
My body convulsed, the ringing drowning out my own thoughts, my own memories.
Everything.
I wasn’t me anymore. I was other. Everything was tingling and painful, heavy. Too heavy.
A hand wrapped around my jaw, forcing my eyes up, but I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t even breathe right.
“Tell me. Give me anything.”
“I…don’t…”
But my words were slurred and incoherent. I couldn’t even think straight, how was I supposed to speak? How could I convince them that Everett didn’t tell me anything? I had only known the guy a few months, he didn’t tell me anything.
“Fuck!”
I heard in my ear. “Tell him—”
“Everett,”
Malachi warned, Rae, Evelyn, and Emily shouting in the background, Jack’s voice cutting through, ordering someone to stop.
“Tell him,”
Everett snarled, his voice desperate. “Tell him about The Club. Tell him, Olivia, right now. Tell him about The Club!”
I swallowed, my mouth dry. “No, no, I don’t know anything, I don’t know anything.”
“Olivia, you listen to me right fucking now,”
he snarled, his voice wavering. “Tell him about the goddamn club. Tell him!”
I grunted, tears sliding down my face. I didn’t have a choice. “Uh…The…um…”
I closed my eyes, finding it hard to focus. “The Club,”
I mumbled, my words heavy. “Down…downtown. Ver—Vermont Ave.”
My heart was thudding, electricity buzzing through my veins as if I had been attached to a powerline. I felt like I was going to throw up.
Isaak watched me for a long time before he released my jaw and stood. “Very good.”
He nodded at his men, and a second later, they were undoing my wrists and removing the pads. “See how easy that was?”
he asked, taking me in. “Rest up. If it doesn’t pan out, there will be consequences.”
I turned onto my side, pulling my knees up to my chest, curling in on myself, my back screaming in pain as the tears flooded down my face. There was so much pain. Everything hurt in a way it never had before. My wrists were on fire, sparks shooting down every limb, every appendage. I couldn’t stop shaking. Whether it was from the chill, the electricity, or something else. I couldn’t stop.
“Olivia?”
Malachi asked.
I covered my face, waiting until the door shut before allowing the tears to overcome me, the sobs to crack through me. “FUCK!”
I screamed. I couldn’t do this anymore. I wasn’t going to survive.
How many times could they stop my heart and bring me back to life before I just didn’t come back? How many more times could I handle the beatings, the drownings, that fucking whip? How many more times?
I wasn’t sure how long I laid there and cried before the tears finally stopped. Before I just stared at the dirt wall, emotionless, unmoving.
But pretty soon, I heard that squeaking again, and not a few minutes later, I saw a little brown mouse walk into my line of sight. Sniffing and watching, waiting, crawling, its beautiful little eyes dark and thoughtful.
I lifted my finger, watching it inch near me. Merlin had a nice bed now too. Warm. Maybe I could keep him warm, maybe I could save him.
I felt new tears slip slowly down my face, a new kind of feeling washing over me in waves.
I swallowed, my mouth dry, my lips cracked, blood coating my tongue. “Privacy,”
I whispered, my voice cracking.
A few seconds ticked by before Azrael’s voice came over the earpiece. “It’s yours.”
I gently wiped a tear away with shaking hands before holding that finger out to Merlin, watching him sniff and then lap up the little bit of saltwater I was able to offer him. “Everett—”
“Don’t do this to me, Olivia. Don’t do this to me,”
he begged. “Don’t give me some bullshit ‘last speech’, don’t you fucking dare.”
I needed water so terribly. Just a sip, just a drop. “I never told you the truth.”
“Olivia,”
he snarled.
But I had to push through. He had to hear me. He would hear me. “I never told you that I knew it was you since that first time I saw you in that club.”
“Liv,”
he begged, tears filling his voice.
“I didn’t want to admit it,”
I kept going, “I didn’t want to feel it. Feel that…that pull, but I knew. I knew since that moment that you would be my undoing. I knew that you would show me how to live, how to fight, how to find my voice.”
It was so hard to talk now. Every syllable felt like razors cutting up my throat.
“Olivia, please stop. I am ordering you to stop.”
“I thought it was just in books, but I know now,”
I went on, my voice thick. “It’s not just fairytales, stories made up by love drunk kids, it’s real. It feels like I’ve known you a lifetime, Everett.”
“Stop saying my name,”
he ordered, trying to regain control.
“I wish we had more time though. We were supposed to have so much more, but I’m not as strong as you. As your sisters. I’m just not. All I have are stories. Stories of people like you. Of strength and power, but you, Everett, you have a whole life and a family who loves you. Who would rip apart empires for you.
“I can’t do that. I would love to think I could. It’s easy to say, that I could do something like that for you, but I can’t. All I can do is keep your secrets, protect the family, it’s the rule. Protect the family.”
I sniffed, Merlin inching closer to me as if he knew I needed comforting. “I’m not going to ask you to move on because I’m selfish. I’m so selfish,”
I went on, my voice thick. “I want my memory burned into your skin forever. I don’t want you to ever fuck anyone else like you fucked me, but I know that’s a big ask with you being so young.”
I paused and then laughed. “I don’t even know how old you are.”
“Olivia, please. Please, pup, please don’t do this.”
“Begging isn’t your strong suit, Ev,”
I whispered, my voice cracking. “Stop doing it.”
I inhaled a shallow breath. “Just…I don’t know, keep going. Keep fighting. Don’t crack apart because of me. I mean, I’m nothing. A blip in your life of impossibilities and nightmares, so just…fuck.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to preserve the only water I had left. “I love you, Everett. With all my heart, I love you, I love you, I love you, but the only power I have left is my voice.”
“Baby, please,”
he pleaded.
I swallowed painfully. “I’m sorry. Azrael cut him off.”
“No. NO! Olivia, I lo—”
I blinked heavily, a weight settling over my shoulders, pulling me deep into the core of Hell.
“Oh, prickling rose,”
the Devil sang softly to me. “Daring rose, imaginative rose.”
I just stared at my mouse, watching his nose twitch. I had to do it. I didn’t have a choice.
“I know what you’re going to do, so before this whole world erupts, you need to listen to me very carefully, and don’t you worry that pretty little head of yours, it’s just us here now.
“You see, minds are a tricky place, what with the labyrinths, the trap doors, the staircases leading to nowhere, but you, dear thorny little rose, have learned something valuable.
You have learned to manipulate those labyrinths and staircases to your very own liking. You believe the things you think with everything you are. You create worlds, scenarios, dialogues in your own head just by your imagination alone.
“Now, normally in situations like this, the person being tortured would disassociate, disappear into their own mind, but you? You are far more powerful than that. You see, you can use that mind of yours as a weapon, even when it cracks.
“It’s actually interesting how this all played out, when you think about it, and I wondered what he’ll think when he puts it all together just like I have.
About how the soft-hearted one chose the girl who can weaponize her words. The one with the rage chose the girl who can weaponize her beauty and body.
While the one who felt like he was never in control chose a girl who can weaponize her very thoughts. Each of you gave them strength, helped them weaponize their greatest weaknesses and became these unstoppable forces.
“Maybe that’s why he went after the women, because he saw what was happening. He saw the control start to shift. Or perhaps he only saw you three as a weakness. Their weaknesses.
“I know that you’re about to tear out this earpiece, which is regrettable, but understandable.
Those kinds of things tend to happen when your mind is forced into a terrible shift like the one you’re going through now.
You think you are doing a valiant thing by keeping your love from hearing your thralls of death, I can respect that, but before you go, you need to listen and follow my orders now.
“Prove the man who did this wrong, rose. After all, you have the power to sharpen those thorns. You must keep creating. You must prove me wrong. If not for the sake of our future, then for the sake of your precious Master.”
I stared at the mouse, listening carefully to each and every single one of his words. I didn’t know if what I was doing was the right thing, all I knew was that he was right. I couldn’t let Everett hear this. Hear me giving up. I gave them all that I could. They would either find me or they wouldn’t, that was it.
So, I reached up for that earpiece and swallowed the tears still trapped in my throat. “Goodbye, Azrael.”
“See you in Hell, little rose.”
I pulled it out and watched as my trembling, thin hands, crushed the small earpiece between my fingers.
The silence filled my mind as I fell deeper into that bed. The ringing, the stillness. And a cold, angry calm enveloped my thudding heart.
All I had left in this world was Merlin.
Me and Merlin against the world.