9
C rown Prince Bennett never liked me.
I knew this the spring I turned eight. Mother had taken me to the palace on one of her weekly visitations to the king. She claimed he was under the weather and none of the servants–or even Queen Cordelia herself–were competent enough to care for him. So, the duty naturally fell to her.
“Narcissa,” Mother said as we rattled through the grand gates, “remember to invite the crown prince to your birthday celebration. The two of you must become good friends.”
“But why, Mama?”
She was Mama to me then, before I learned that Mother was a more preferable title to her.
I tugged at the scarlet ribbon in my hair so my waves fell free. Father always said I looked prettiest that way. The cream envelope on my lap slipped to the floor, denting a gold-embossed corner .
Mama sucked her teeth, a harsh sound she made when she was displeased. “Because it must be so.” She picked up my birthday invitation and put it back into my hands. “You don’t want to be known as the friendless girl who pretends animals understand her, do you?”
She pulled my hair and tied it sharply back with the ribbon. I knew better than to argue with Mama, but animals did understand me. And I wasn’t without friends. In fact, I made a new one last week—the kitten I found in the palace dumping grounds. She was a darling thing. I had fashioned a cot out of old shifts for her under my bed.
That morning I decided to name her Misty, after the springtide mist that hung over our gardens during sunrise. I promised her we would be together forever, and even though she couldn’t talk yet, I knew she promised the same.
Mama had yet to know about Misty. I’d have to make sure she was well-trained before making the introduction.
Mama finished tying the bow. My hair felt too tight, but I didn’t touch it lest it angered her. “Smile, Narcissa,” she said as the coach stopped rolling.
I pulled on my winning smile. “Like this, Mama?”
She softened a little and kissed my cheek. “That’s it, my darling.”
My heart sang at these pieces of affection. They certainly never came about when she was upset.
Which is why , I told myself sternly, you must always do as Mama says .
Outside, the grand palace spires glistened in the sunlight. The two of us entered the south wing, servants bowing as we passed. That seemed to please Mama. As she clicked down the hall toward King Maximus’s chambers, she stood a little straighter. I did too. It felt good when Mama felt good .
When we stopped before the oak doors, she knelt before me, tutting. “You look a mess, Narcissa.” She straightened my sleeves and rubbed something off my cheek.
I touched the spot. It was the imprint of her rouge when she had kissed me earlier. I wished she hadn’t smudged it away. Mama’s kisses were hard to come by.
“Now, you know what to do,” she said, pointing at the smaller entrance to the left. Crown Prince Bennett’s study. “Give His Highness his invitation and stay there until I come get you.”
“Yes, Mama.” I smiled brighter, but my slippers scuffed against the marble floor. I was glad my skirts concealed the movement.
Mama wouldn’t be pleased to know I didn’t want to talk to the crown prince. He was two years my senior—much too old to become friends with. And he was always so serious.
“Good girl. Be off now.”
Swallowing my displeasure, I waved goodbye to Mama and followed a footman who escorted me inside. The grand double doors closed behind us.
“His Highness is at his desk, milady,” the footman said, gesturing to the far end of the study.
I took in the tall mahogany furniture and books with muted covers. It looked like a place for adults who had nothing better to do than pour over yellowed pages of text all day. The damask rug was lit with panes of sunlight from the window, against which a desk was placed. Sure enough, Crown Prince Bennett was bent over a dusty old book. He turned when we drew close.
The footman bowed. “Your Highness, Lady Narcissa.” He departed shortly, though I knew he was behind the shelves as a chaperone. I didn’t know what part of the meeting needed chaperoning. All the crown prince did was sit around and read, whether there were visitors or not.
I dipped into my best curtsy, making sure to rise gracefully as Mama instructed. “Good morning, Your Highness.”
Crown Prince Bennett blinked, his face impassive as he looked at me. I wondered if my hairdo looked as tight as it felt. “Girls aren’t allowed here,” he said. His dark hair was neatly combed back, not an unruly strand in sight. The style made him look impossibly grown-up, especially paired with his neat ensemble.
It irritated me to no end. “Says who?” The words came out before I could stop them. Mama would have sucked her teeth at my behavior.
“Father,” the crown prince said, turning back to his book. His feet dangled from his chair, the only indication that he wasn’t a grownup.
But horsefeathers, he was as boring as one. I ran my fingers over the gold embossing on my birthday invitation, watching it reflect light onto the floor. Misty loved shiny things. I’d have to bring her toys or make some myself. Some pigeons feathers on a string, perhaps? I tugged my hair ribbon loose and held it up. It was the perfect length.
Throat clearing drew me out of my thoughts. Crown Prince Bennett was staring at me again, his cheeks pink, no doubt annoyed that I hadn’t left.
I retied my ribbon and sighed. Too bad. I was stuck here for another hour, unless I managed to sneak off to the dumping grounds like last time. Maybe I could find another kitten.
But not before carrying out Mama’s assignment. I walked over to his desk and stuck out the invitation. “Will you come to my birthday celebration this week? ”
He didn’t take it, only looked. I grew self-conscious, wondering if the invitation wasn’t fancy enough for him or if my fingernails were still caked with dirt from the garden.
No. They were spotless. Mama had scrubbed them raw the other night.
“Birthday celebrations are frivolous,” the crown prince finally said, turning away.
I stamped my foot. “They are not.” I hadn’t a clue what ‘frivolous’ meant, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing that. “I’ll have a chocolate fountain at mine. And ponies for riding.”
Mama said I could have whatever I liked, as long as the crown prince came.
“I’m busy,” he said. A few dark locks fell over his forehead as he studied the book. He had ruffled his hair when I wasn’t looking. The messiness made him more approachable.
“You can’t be busy all week,” I said. “It’s on the weekend. You’re supposed to have fun on weekends.”
“Fun is frivolous.”
Again with that word.
“Please?” I dropped the invitation over his book, leaning my cheek against the hard desk to catch a glimpse of his face. “I’ll show you my new kitten.”
I hadn’t shown Misty to anyone yet. I didn’t plan to for at least a month, but I figured I’d make an exception for the crown prince.
Crown Prince Bennett frowned, leaning away. “No. I don’t care.”
Irritation spiked again, along with a twinge of hurt. I didn’t offer to introduce my animal companions to just anybody. I stood upright. “You’re not very nice for a prince.”
“Princes aren’t supposed to be nice. They’re supposed to be wise,” he said with an air of superiority.
It wasn’t wise to be in the company of friendless girls who talked to animals. That was what he meant. My cheeks grew hot as Crown Prince Bennett swept my invitation off his book like a crushed insect.
“Go. You’re distracting me.”
I bit my lip hard, willing the tears away. This wasn’t the first time he had evaded my company, but he had never explicitly told me to leave. He wouldn’t even look at me, or the invitation I spent hours picking out.
“Fine,” I said, grabbing the card. The crown prince had just sentenced me to a miserable birthday thanks to his stubbornness. I could kiss the chocolate fountain goodbye. And the ponies.
But Mama would understand, wouldn’t she? The crown prince’s will was out of my control. I tried my best .
The footman emerged from behind the shelves. “I’ll escort you to the parlor, milady,” he said.
I fumed silently, glaring at Crown Prince Bennett’s straight back. He even sat like a boring person. I heard Mama’s tongue clicking in the back of my mind.
Take your leave properly, Narcissa , she would’ve said.
I dipped into another perfect curtsy though he couldn’t see it. “Goodbye, Your Highness.”
The footman walked me back to the door. When I turned, I was surprised to see that the crown prince had followed. Maybe he changed his mind after all.
Before I could extend the invitation again, he reached for the knob and shut the door in my face.
Tears threatened to burst from my eyes. I huffed instead, lifting my chin so they wouldn’t fall. Mama always said I looked disgusting when I cried.
I couldn’t tell her what had passed on the carriage ride to our manor. Mama’s visit to King Maximus had put her in a glowing mood. She was all smiles and cheerful comments. I basked in them as long as I could. But the dreaded question came when we arrived home.
“Did you give the crown prince his invitation?” Mama asked, peeling off her gloves.
His invitation was buried in a bed of pansies in the royal gardens. But I left that part out as I ducked my head and relayed what had happened.
When I looked up, Mama’s face was creased into a harsh frown. No trace of her previous levity was in sight.
“You had one simple job, and even that you couldn’t do correctly. You’ve ruined your chance, Narcissa!” My name was harsh on her tongue.
Nar-cis-sa . Each syllable had the lash of a whip .
My eyes welled with tears at these invisible injuries. “Mama I didn’t mean to!” My voice took on the whine I knew she hated.
She scoffed, rapped me three times on my wrists, and sent me to my room.
That night I sobbed with Misty in my arms, missing Father and his warm hugs. But my kitten’s soft fur and gentle nuzzles comforted me immensely. Even if nobody liked me, at least Misty did.
And that was all that mattered.