Chapter 22 #2
As if she can sense my eyes on her, she looks over at me and shrugs, as if to say, What can you do?
Anger rips through me. She could have said no.
She steps back and ushers Kevin forward, and the server appears with another chair as we all shift along.
As she sets another table setting, Jane is beaming like nothing untoward is going on.
My dad has sat down again and is studying his menu like it holds the secrets of the universe and he doesn’t dare lift his head in case he gets sucked into a black hole. Though I quite like the idea of being sucked into a black hole myself. My mom is staring at some fixed point over Jane’s head.
“Should we get some wine?” Jane says. “I think this is a cause for celebration, us all getting together like this.”
I want to groan out loud. My mom stares at Jane as if she can’t believe what she just heard. Welcome to the club, Mom.
Jane was chirpy like this sometimes when we were together.
She was smart and thoughtful, but she had a habit of trying to see the positive in every situation.
It’s like, since she started seeing Kevin, things have taken a bizarre twist out of left field.
I study the menu, taking a leaf out of my dad’s book, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Kevin squeeze Jane’s leg under the table.
I’m strangely unbothered by it. The pair of them have dug their own grave here.
My mom fiddles with her cutlery and clears her throat. “And what do you do, Kevin?”
“Real estate,” he says. “Tough job, but I’m man enough to do it. And I see some of the most beautiful houses in the world, which is a bonus.”
They’re like a couple of cheery chipmunks. If only I could flamethrower their nut store.
Jane beams at Kevin, then turns to my mom and dad. “Oh, the stories he tells me!” she says with a laugh.
And, for the first time, it occurs to me that Kevin isn’t an ogre; he’s just a sell-real-estate, play-soccer, drinks-with-my-buddies, do-that-for-the-rest-of-your-life kind of guy.
Perhaps that’s what Jane was after? And for some reason, the sick dread that has been my companion for a lot of these meetings with Jane has faded away with my mom and dad sitting there looking as stunned as I am.
At least it’s not just me wondering what the hell is going on.
My mom’s eyes meet mine, and she gives me the sweetest crimped smile I think I’ve ever seen on her face, like an apology and sympathy and I-have-faith-in-you all rolled into one, and my throat goes tight at the same time as it makes me sit up a little straighter.
I can do this. I can be here with these awful people, make polite small talk, and live to tell the tale.
“I didn’t tell you I got a cat,” I say.
“Oh yeah,” my dad says, rolling his eyes, grabbing onto this topic like a man desperate for a life raft. “Not sure what it’s done for my bald patch.” He runs a hand over his head. He dozed off on the couch this afternoon and woke up to find Mr. Karen grooming his hair and purring in his ear.
“Well, I say I got a cat,” I carry on, warming to my story, “but really what happened is that Des adopted one from the shelter as a bizarre parting gift when he disappeared off to Korea.”
Jane frowns. “But you don’t like cats.”
“Yeah, well, there are a lot of things that I don’t like that I’m learning to live with,” I say.
My mom hides a smile behind her hand.
Jane opens her mouth, but Kevin dives in. “How exactly do you adopt a cat?”
Here we go: I’m actually talking to the guy. “You give it a home for a couple of months as respite against living in a cage until they can find a new place for it.”
“Solid,” he says.
“Sadie named him Mr. Karen because he’s like a Karen but male,” my dad adds helpfully.
My head snaps up as my mom’s head swivels to glare at him. Sadie told him that? Please tell me his mention of Sadie’s name was just a strange aberration that only my mom and I heard?
Jane’s eyebrows rise. “Who’s Sadie?” she says.
“James’s new girlfriend,” my dad says.
No. No. No!
What is he doing? Sadie’s not my goddamn girlfriend. My mom’s hand tightens around her knife, and I hope desperately that my dad does not die in a small Italian restaurant on Nostrand Avenue.
As if the server can sense the degree to which the conversation at our table is going downhill, he appears suddenly and asks if we’re ready to order.
I give my dad a warning frown, but his eyes twinkle at me, and I decide that I’m revising my opinion of him and my mom as easygoing people.
They’re troublemakers. Perhaps particularly when faced with their son’s ex who has screwed him over.
And she has screwed me over: I’m starting to appreciate by just how much.
When I glance at Jane, her face is red. “You have a new girlfriend?”
I say “Sadie’s my roommate” at the same time as Kevin pipes up, “Sweet. We can double-date. Jane’s always saying she never sees enough of you since you moved out.”
Jane’s face is like a thundercloud as her head swivels toward Kevin.
Maybe my dad isn’t going to be the first one to die here?
I suck in a deep breath as I study the menu.
It’s like being in a movie full of weird-ass characters.
What happened to the good-natured girl I came to New York with?
Jane and I were both so excited when we arrived here together.
We explored the city and ate amazing food from countries we’d barely heard of. It seems like forever ago.
“I’m going to have lasagna,” my dad says, snapping his menu shut.
“Me, too,” I say. I haven’t absorbed anything written on here, and lasagna works for me.
“Me three,” my mom adds.
“You’re all having the same thing?” Jane says, momentarily distracted from the Sadie conversation by our unexpected agreement. Her eyes are on me, so I smile at my dad, hoping he might answer.
“Families have to stick together,” he says bullishly, and Jesus Christ, I do not want this to descend into some showdown with Jane.
“What do you think I should have?” Kevin says, turning to Jane.
“Pizza,” she snaps, mouth flattening into a thin, straight line.
Nice save, Kevin. Oh God, now I’m siding with Kevin and using soccer terminology?
“Yes, but what kind, poodle?”
Poodle?
“He’s going to have a margherita,” Jane says, glancing up at the server. “And I’ll have that, too.”
“Two margheritas, three lasagnas,” the server says. “Any drinks? Garlic bread?”
“Three garlic bread,” my dad says in the type of voice that implies it’s all for us and we’re not sharing.
“Make that another one for me,” Jane says.
“And me,” Kevin says.
Jane shakes her head and leans over to pat his stomach. “Not until you can spend more time in the gym.”
What?
“No garlic bread for him, and a bottle of the chardonnay,” she says.
I glance at my mom, and I think she’s mouthing the words “bossy cow” as she closes her menu. Laughter bubbles at the back of my throat.
After the server disappears with our order, Kevin excuses himself and heads to the bathroom.
“Now tell me why you’ve left my son.” My mom launches straight into it as soon as Kevin is out of earshot.
“Mom!” I say as something inside me curls up and dies.
Jane’s cheeks start to go red, and her eyes dart to mine. “Did you set them up to this?”
“What? No!” I say, at the same time as my mom says:
“Of course he didn’t!”
“Anyway,” Jane huffs. “I didn’t leave James.
If anything, he left me! James and I are best friends, and we’ll always be best friends.
” She glances across the restaurant, scowling.
“I don’t know why he’s moved out of the apartment, but it’s causing me no end of trouble.
I can’t find anyone to take over the lease and … ”
My dad coughs as he turns his bread knife over on his plate. “Perhaps he didn’t want to keep hanging out with you and your new boyfriend since you and James WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED!” His voice rises, and my mom puts her hand on his arm.
A flush climbs up Jane’s neck. “We’ve been nothing but friends for a long time. He knew that.”
I did? My mom and dad’s eyes dart to me.
“Jane. That’s not true, and you know it.”
Jane’s face goes a bit pink. “Are you calling me a liar?” she says, jutting her chin out.
How dare she give my parents the impression that I’m the one at fault here? “The definition of being ‘nothing but friends’ is not having sex.”
My mom’s and dad’s eyes dart down to the tablecloth, and they both go completely silent.
Am I going to go there? Yes, I am. “You turned me down a lot.”
She sucks her cheeks in. “We’re not discussing this here.”
My blood bubbles, anger sitting hard and tight under my ribs. “Well, let me know when you’d like to discuss it, because you never wanted to talk about it when we were together, either. Perhaps you were too busy sleeping with Kevin on your trips home?”
My mom draws in a sharp breath.
Jane’s lips tighten into a pout. “How dare you imply that I …”
Kevin appears at her shoulder, and his eyes dart around the table.
“Everything all right?” he says.
My mom smiles up at him. “How was the bathroom?”
My dad snorts and then tries to cover it up by picking up his napkin and flapping it over his knee.
A glass of wine has materialized in front of me, and I wonder in horror if a server was listening to that whole conversation while they poured it out. I pick it up and take a huge gulp as Kevin slides into his chair.
My mom tilts her head. “How long have you and Jane known each other?”
“Oh, ages,” he says. “We dated a long time ago. I live in Philly like you guys.”
I also haven’t told my parents this little gem. Jane and I were childhood sweethearts, but before she joined me in New York, we had six months apart and agreed we could see other people. I wasn’t interested, but Jane had a few dates with Kevin. She used to call it “her big mistake.”
Jane beams. “And he never got over me!”