Chapter 11 #2
His shirt was soft against her cheek, his muscles incredibly firm. He held her as if she weighed nothing. His hold was gentle but secure while his heartbeat filled her ear. She took in the sight of his strong jaw and the wave of his hair.
She drew in a deep breath, letting his masculine scent fill her. He smelled of the outdoors, of Texas, and all man.
“I missed you.”
Natalie wasn’t sure if he wanted a response or not. She hadn’t moved, so he could think she still slept, which could be the only reason he spoke.
Then he shifted and looked down at her. Their gazes clashed, held. “I never apologized. Leaving you the way I did, Nat, it was horrible. I’m sorry.”
“Forget about it. It was a long time ago, and we were young.”
“Not that young.” He touched her cheek tenderly. “I never expected to see you again.”
She briefly looked down at his mouth, then jerked her gaze back up. Because staring at those lips was a dangerous endeavor. “I assumed when you left that you’d never return.”
“Fate brought us back together.”
It would be so easy to allow her heart to get tangled in Owen’s web once more. She wanted someone who would never leave her, who loved her and only her. And who would never stray.
But did a man like that even exist?
Damn, it was difficult to resist Owen. He’d always had power over her. It hadn’t diminished over the years. In fact, it felt as if it had intensified.
His fingers caressed down to her neck before his hand slid around to her nape, delving into her hair. Natalie knew he was about to kiss her. She could halt everything by getting off his lap.
Yet she remained. Waiting—eagerly—for his lips to touch hers.
“Nat,” he whispered and lowered his head.
Her heart missed a beat as his soft mouth brushed against hers. Then his lips were atop hers, firmly, his tongue sliding against them.
She sighed and flattened a hand against his chest. He kissed her softly, sensuously. He kissed her ruthlessly, mercilessly.
It was a kiss that claimed her breath.
A kiss that stole back whatever tiny piece of her heart had turned against him.
He moaned and deepened the kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck. It was as if the past fourteen years hadn’t happened, as if he hadn’t left her behind.
The passion ran high, the fire rekindling quickly. She loved how he could stop her world with just a kiss. And she hated him for it, as well.
Why did she still want him? Why hadn’t her heart forgotten him as she’d tried desperately to do? What was it about him that didn’t allow her to move on? No other man had ever had such a hold on her.
He kissed her as if he were a starving man and she a feast. And it was glorious. She held him close—knowing deep in her soul that her heart would be hurting soon.
But to pass up something so wonderful was a sin. Whatever the past had been, and whatever the future held, the one thing Natalie knew was that she still cared for Owen.
Even as she sank deeper into the kiss, she knew that it wasn’t worth the inevitable heartache and anguish she would endure when he left her again.
That’s when she made a vow that she would be the one to leave him. This time, she would be the one in control.
The kiss ended all too soon. He looked into her eyes, but she couldn’t discern his thoughts. He’d always hidden them well, but now there was a wall there, preventing even a glimpse.
“There’s sadness in your green eyes,” he whispered. “Please tell me I’m not to blame.”
He was, but not for all of it. And it wouldn’t be fair to blame just him. Her life had been molded because of the decisions she’d made—as hard of a pill as that was to swallow.
There was much in her life she was proud of, but there were some parts she wished had never happened.
Natalie put her hand on his cheek, feeling the scruff of his whiskers. “You have the most beautiful chocolate eyes, but they’re dead. I don’t know where you’ve been or what you’ve done, but it’s taken your soul.”
“Are you happy?” he asked, ignoring her statement.
Neither wanted to answer a question, which was why they kept changing the subject. “Are you?”
“I’m making a difference in the world.”
She smiled. “That’s not an answer.”
“I gave you more than you gave me.”
Natalie swallowed and ran her thumb over his bottom lip. “Happiness is a state of being. I’ve worked a long time to find mine.”
“But someone hurt you.”
Unable to help herself, Natalie slid her hand into his hair and let the thick, silky strands pass through her fingers. “The past is the past.”
“The past shapes us.”
She got the courage to climb out of his lap before she jerked off the black fatigues right then and there. She faced him with her decision made. His face was in shadows, but her eyes were adjusted to the dark. She saw the way he watched her carefully.
“I’m here with you because I called Callie that day when I saw Ragnarok. Orrin was always nice to me, making me feel welcome, as did your aunt and uncle. Even if the Russians hadn’t been following me or come after me, I’d want to help.”
“I know. You’re very much like my mother in that regard.” Owen slowly rose to his feet and gave her a soft kiss on her cheek. “Get some rest.”
She watched him walk from the room. After a minute, she climbed into the cot where he’d sat and curled onto her side. Sleep was the farthest thing from her mind, though.